Eowyn Sprogs With Legolas

BLISTERGIRL: See Chapter 1 for disclaimers. Basically, this is an MST. You know how it works.

*****

CHAPTER 2: Big Gay Legolas Is A Big Gay Bottom

Eowyn is lying back on a hay bale. Legolas is staring blankly.

ARWEN: ...and so you do this thing with your-

LEGOLAS: Would you look at that, there's more.

EOWYN: Did he say there's more? I'd like some more, after I lie down for about three weeks.

LEGOLAS: More chapters. Of the story. Not more of *that*, please.

ARWEN: I saw you enjoying it. But go ahead, read us some more while Eowyn recovers her strength.

++Author's note: Thank you for your reviews. If you are wondering where I got the name Gaenor for Legolas and Eowyn's daughter, I got it from a Ioan Gruffudd movie "Solomon and Gaenor". The
name is a Welsh form for Guinevere.++

LEGOLAS: Hey, I *am* Welsh! *Nod to Mr Thranduilion Goes to Scotland*

++Chapter Two - Love Blossoms
Eowyn slept little during the first year of widowhood. She was often seen walking around her castle during the night++

EOWYN: - looking for someone who'd tie her up -

++with her white nightgown and shawl.++

LEGOLAS & ARWEN: *snicker*

++Many night servants claim she almost looked like a ghost especially on moonlit evenings with her pale skin shimmering against the light.
Only Legolas could give her joy during those nights.++

LEGOLAS: Um, no, she didn't. I'm strictly a bottom. I don't do no tying-people-up palaver. Strictly a bottom. A gay bottom.

BLISTERGIRL: *snicker*

++Elves slept very little by nature, and Legolas was happy to keep her company.
They talked about life in general, and their childhood. Eowyn loved to talk about her training as a shield maiden, and her happy girlhood in Rohan. Legolas said very little of his childhood in Mirkwood for his wasn't a happy one.++

LEGOLAS: Hold onto something Eowyn, there's another change of tense up ahead!

Eowyn grabs a hold of Arwen's boobs.

++He only told her he has a father and two older brothers that are still living in Mirkwood.++

EOWYN: Thanks for the warning Leggie! That could have been messy.

ARWEN: You never know when these things are going to happen. You'd better keep ahold just in case. Maybe move your fingers around a bit too.

EOWYN: Like...

ARWEN: Oh yeaah. Just like that.

++One of those evenings, Eowyn walked in the halls and found Legolas sitting on a bench preparing arrows. His face gave no emotion, but++

LEGOLAS: - his lips gave great head.

Arwen and Eowyn are pashing wetly. Eowyn is making sure she doesn't let go of Arwen's boobs, just in case.

++ Eowyn sensed there was something wrong.
"Legolas," she said.++

LEGOLAS: Such a sparkling conversationalist.

++Legolas looked up from his work. He put the arrows back in his quiver. He stood up to face the beautiful white lady of Rohan.
"Yes, Eowyn," Legolas answered.++

EOWYN: You did alat bat before answering me? Show some fucking respect, I'm the Lady of Ithilien!

ARWEN: According to this author you're the Lady of Ithilium. Maybe that's what confused him.

++"What is the matter?"
"I must return to Mirkwood. I cannot know when I will return here. Gimli will watch over you now." Legolas said.++

EOWYN: That offer really creeps me out.

++"You do not want to return to Mirkwood."
Legolas shook his head. He hated Mirkwood. The only thing that would compel him to go back there was gone. His mother had passed through the sea some years ago, and Legolas spent those many years on guard duty or traveling to Rivendell. His father treats him like one of his servants, and his brothers treat him as though he were nothing but an elfling. Only his mother showed him love, but now she was gone.++

LEGOLAS: Ach, the angst! (Cluthes his heart and falls off the hay bale) I can't take the angst!

ARWEN: This author has some serious issues.

EOWYN: Thankfully not as many as that physics-exam Lolita.

ARWEN: Eww eww eww. That fic was completely degrading.

LEGOLAS: Poor Viggo Mortensen, having to go through that ordeal...

++"If Mirkwood is the cause of your unhappiness, do not go back." Eowyn advised him.
Legolas looked at her with surprise. He didn't realize that Eowyn still needed him.++

EOWYN: Which I never said I did.

LEGOLAS: That's why I didn't realise it. Because that's completely not what you just said.

++What is he going back to Mirkwood for? His eldest brother's wedding. Legolas could easily miss that for he knew his brother did not love the lady.++

LEGOLAS: It runs in the family.

++Both his brothers were incapable of romantic love.
"You are right. I have no reason to go back to Mirkwood. My father has been giving orders to me all my life and the only affection he showed to me was instructions on doing the chores right."++

ARWEN: What the fuck? Mirkwood's sharpest archer putting up with that kind of shite?

LEGOLAS: I only stayed in Dad's palace for the buttboys. I mean, butlers.

++"Oh I am so glad!" Eowyn cried in all happiness.++

EOWYN: Coz I love hearing about my friends being treated like serving wenches.

ARWEN: Serve... wench... Eowyn? Hmm...

EOWYN: Ah... buh...

++She embraced the elf with all her strength.++

EOWYN: And life imitates art. (embraces Arwen with all her strength)

LEGOLAS: (mutters) Change of tense warning.

++As they pull back, Legolas leaned over and gave Eowyn a passionate kiss.++

All three are thrown off their hay bales onto the ground. Arwen leans over and gives Eowyn a passionate kiss. As the girls are distracted, Legolas once again shows signs of curiousity about wild girlseks.