Jealousy In Silver

Part Two

The night of Lindir’s majority celebration found him sitting beside one of the golden fountains playing sweet melodies upon his wooden flute. There had been feasting and revelry earlier that evening as everyone wished the young son of Lorien well. The fact that he was now of age to choose a suitor or a maid was not lost on any, and poor Lindir had spent much of the evening fending off the attentions of others. It wasn’t as though he found them unattractive, and indeed there were many elves of both sexes who caught his eye; however, his gaze had kept drifting towards one elf in particular: Lord Elrond of Imladris. He didn’t know what to make of the quivering feeling that now burned within him at the sight of the noble elf lord, or the sudden shyness which he tried to hide behind a mask of innocence and joviality.

Worse still, he knew of his sister’s feelings towards that particular elven lord, and his feelings seemed a betrayal towards her love for him. He had no desire to hurt his sister, so instead he had retreated from the celebration to seek solace in private. Perhaps it was nothing more than a passing fancy and given time his feelings would turn elsewhere.

His music drifted to an end as he realized he was no longer alone. Looking up, he saw the object of his newly-woken desires standing in watchful silence upon the path. Lindir couldn’t help the blush that rose to his fair skin upon the sight of him, nor the shy tilt of his head when the lord stepped closer.

“Why do you hide away from the celebration?” Lord Elrond asked; his face now lit by the rising moon.

“All the excitement and attention has wearied me, my lord,” Lindir replied solemnly as he studied the way the light caressed the half-elf’s chiseled face.

The lord nodded with a warm smile. “Then I shall not disturb you in your reprieve.”

“No, my lord,” Lindir blurted as the healer turned to go, and then blushed deeply. “What I mean is… you are most welcome to stay.”

“Then perhaps I shall.” He gestured towards the seat next to the young elf. Lindir bowed his head in consent. “I was seeking solace as well when I heard your lovely song through the trees and was compelled to listen.”

“Thank you, my lord.” Lindir cast his silvered eyes up towards the elven lord. The song had been composed for the healer, and the melody reflected his uncertain feelings.

“There is no need to address me with such formality,” Elrond kindly said. “You never felt the need to do so before.

“I-I’m sorry.” Lindir replied as he looked down at his entwined hands. “I suppose I am nervous.”

“Nervous? And why should this be?”

Lindir shrugged, to which the elven lord laughed gently. “For one normally full of pretty words, poetry, and song, your speechlessness is a wonder!”

That caused Lindir to grin in response, and his shyness began to melt away.

“Actually,” Elrond continued, his laughter subsiding into a once more friendly smile. “I had something I wished to speak with you about.”

He paused as though to gather his thoughts and Lindir waited intently to hear what the lord would say. “I have spoken with your parents; and they feel, as do I, that we should strengthen the bond between our two realms. It was suggested that either you or your sister come live with me in Imladris for a time. I would be greatly pleased if you would come.”

Lindir stared at Elrond, momentarily shocked. “I don’t know what to say, my lord, except… why me? I would think my sister to be the one chosen. Do you not have feelings for her?”

Elrond shook his head. “If you ask whether I love her, I confess that I do not. She is a pretty elleth, and I do care for her, but as a friend, nothing more.”

Celebrian will be greatly disappointed, Lindir thought as he continued to stare at the lord. “And what of me?” he asked suddenly, and then wished he could take back the direct question.

“I feel… more for you than perhaps I should.” Elrond said hesitantly, reaching out to touch Lindir’s snowy tresses. “It is strange. You are so young, yet I feel as though I have known you forever.”

“But you need not decide now.” Elrond quickly amended in fear of the young elf’s shocked disapproval. “I will not force you into anything you have no wish to do. I realize that I must seem quite old to you…”

A smile broke across Lindir’s face at Elrond’s nervousness. “Ah, but what is age to one who is ageless? I must confess, my feelings for you are beyond simple fondness, yet I hesitate to declare them to be love when this feeling is still so new-”

“Lindir!” came a shout, and Celebrian stepped into the clearing. “My dear brother! I have been searching for you. Many have wondered at your disappearance from the festivities.”

Lindir glanced at Elrond and smiled. “I had only sought a brief respite from all the revelry.”

“I trust you are well rested then? There are those who wish to hear you sing.”

“I believe I am,” Lindir replied and stood. He turned towards Elrond. “Thank you, my Lord. And I shall certainly consider your offer.” He wished to place a single kiss upon the healer’s cheek, but refrained due to his sister’s presence. He didn’t care to flaunt his new-found feelings before one who would be heartbroken should she find out.

Lord Elrond merely smiled in return as though he guessed Lindir’s thoughts. “Do so. And enjoy this night.”

Lindir allowed Celebrian to drag him back towards the celebration, and true to her word, elves were waiting to partake of his musical gifts. Many of the elders had drifted away, leaving the younger elves to celebrate in a more high-strung fashion. Lindir found himself plied with brimming goblets of wine and other fine spirits. He hardly noticed that it was his sister who seemed to be continuously refilling the cup at his side.

He played until the lateness of the night no longer mattered and all inhibitions were lost in a sweet fog of wine. Afterwards, he would never be able to recall when the music ceased, nor when the soft caresses of flesh began. Any protests he might have made went unheeded or stopped completely when the wonder of newly discovered arousal swept through his body. Only when the pleasure was laced with a burning pain did the fog begin to part. He realized he was lying upon the grassy forest floor beneath a strange elf; a border guard he had only ever seen in passing. It was then that he attempted to free himself and reclaim his fleeing innocence, but to no avail. The guard, sensing his struggles, murmured soothing words into the young elf’s ear until Lindir finally calmed and he once more felt himself become swept away in a tide of pleasure. The sensations continued to grow in strength and intensity as the discomfort lessened until finally the pleasure burst over him in a mind-numbing wave.

For a single moment he lay still, basking in the warm afterglow; however, as with all such moments, it couldn’t last. Without warning a sharp, tearing pain overwhelmed his senses and he cried out. He made an attempt to curl around the agonizing sensation, but was hindered by the guard still moving over and within him. Soon after the guard let loose a groan as he found his own release and pulled away, but the damage had been done.

Lindir rolled to his side, biting his lip against the sob which threatened to come forth. The guard, finally realizing that something was wrong, sought to comfort the young elf; however the sight of blood staining both him and his momentary lover shocked him. Despite this, he did what he could to soothe Lindir before escorting him to his rooms, assuring the young elf that what had happened was nothing for concern.

~~~

The next day Lindir refused to leave his rooms. At first it was attributed to overindulgence the previous night, but as evening came with still no emergence of the young elf, some grew concerned. When pressed, he reassured all inquiries that he was well, merely over-tired. Even to Lord Elrond he remained vague, for it was his reaction to the previous night’s activities that Lindir feared most; after all, he had all but confessed his love for the healer and then turned to lay with another, however unintentional. While he longed to seek an answer for the reason behind his internal pain, which had now lessened to a dull ache, he feared the healer’s recrimination, or worse, rejection.

Finally, Celebrian sought entrance to Lindir’s rooms. She was well aware of what had happened for she had a hand in both causing her brother to over-indulge in alcohol and in bribing the guard to steal his innocence. When she entered his chambers, she found a distraught elf lying curled upon his bed, staring silently at the distant wall.

“What is wrong, dear brother,” Celebrian asked with a mask of concern as she sat beside him upon the bed.

“I cannot say,” Lindir replied, although he longed to unburden himself to someone.

“Oh, sweet Lindir.” Celebrian reached out and stroked her brother’s disheveled tresses. “You can trust me. Have we not always been close?”

He gazed up at his sister and saw the kindness in her eyes. “Yes, that is true.”

“Then confess yourself to me. What has happened?”

Lindir breathed deeply. “I have done a terrible thing. Last night, after the celebration, I knew not what I was doing and allowed a strange guard to claim me.”

Celebrian feigned a look of horror and lifted a single hand to her lips. “Did anything else happen?”

“There… there was pain.” Lindir stammered while his face colored with the telling. “I still ache.”

“Then it has come to pass,” she muttered darkly, turning her face away.

“What? I don’t understand,” the younger elf said fearfully, pulling his sister’s arm.

The scheming elleth turned back towards her brother. “I fear you may have conceived a child.”

Lindir gave his sister a look of disbelief. “Ellon don’t conceive.”

“And yet you somehow have the unfortunate ability to do so.” She took a deep breath as though struggling over whether or not to relate something. Lindir watched her with fear in his eyes. Finally she relented. “I will now tell you something you must not tell a soul. A year ago I was passing by mother’s scrying mirror, and I couldn’t help but peek within. What I saw frightened me. Within I was granted a vision of you in desperate straits and heavy with child. I had hoped it would not come to pass.”

“Are you certain it was me you saw?” Lindir asked in growing horror; a horror which only intensified when Celebrian nodded her head.

“There was no doubt. It was you.”

“What… what will happen to me?”

“You mustn’t tell a soul of this affliction for you will be reviled and cast out.” She said sternly. “This is not a natural thing. It could only be the work of some evil spirit.”

“But I cannot hide it forever!” he exclaimed as he imagined how his belly would slowly grow larger with time. “It will soon be obvious what has occurred!”

Celebrian appeared to think deeply on the matter. After a time of silence and her brother’s mute pleading for assistance she finally spoke. “You must scour the womb before the thing growing within you gains a spirit, and it must be done soon. There is an herb which is often used to prevent conception and may also be used to rid one of an unwanted burden.”

“Where can I find this herb?” Lindir asked desperately.

“It grows just beyond the border of the Wood. I will be unable to break free of my duties tomorrow; but if you are willing, the day after, upon the sun’s first light, I will ride with you to where it grows.”

He nodded, accepting of his sister’s plan. “I will follow your advice. And what of the… other thing?” He was still worried of someone discovering what he had done; particularly Lord Elrond.

“Such indiscretions happen from time to time.” Celebrian reassured him. “You just leave everything to me, sweet one. I will find the guard and make certain there are no wandering tongues.”

Relief lit the young elf’s face, and he reached out to embrace Celebrian. “Thank you, dear sister!”

Celebrian returned the embrace, holding her brother close so that he missed the dark smile that crossed her lips.

~~~

Two days later, when the sun started to rise over the distant treetops and the shadows on the forest floor were still long and hazy, two riders made for the borders of the Golden Wood. They avoided the guards that protected the boundary between Lothlorien and the wild forests beyond; Lindir wished to keep this mission a secret, and Celebrian was happy to comply.

They wove through the trees and over mossy hillocks until finally Celebrian pulled her mount to a halt. Lindir halted as well and looked at his sister questioningly.

“Oh!” she said as she leaned over her horse’s side. “I believe my mare has started to limp.” She dismounted and lifted one of the horse’s forelegs. “I’m afraid my horse has a stone lodged in her hoof,” she said with a frown and looked up at her brother. “I will need a moment to pry it free.”

“Would you like me to assist you?” Lindir asked.

“No, it’s no bother.” Celebrian reassured him. “And actually, the herb we seek is just over that next hill in the small glade there near the river. You go on ahead, and I will join you momentarily.”

Lindir nodded and urged his mount forwards. True to her word lay a small sunlit glade just beyond the hill, and within that glade, along a sparkling pool where the river slowed, grew the herb that had been earlier described to him. He quickly dismounted and began to gather the pungent plant; carefully dropping the mint-scented leaves into the pouch at his side. These he would make into a tea which would expel any growth within his unnatural womb.

A rustling sound reached his ears and he turned to look. There was nothing to be seen other than his horse eating the sweet grasses nearby. Perhaps it was only his sister approaching, having pried the stone from her mare’s hoof.

Suddenly a loud whistle split the air, and his horse lifted her head. In the next moment the pale mare jumped forward through the thick willows, leaving the clearing in haste.

“Wait!” Lindir cried. “Come back!”

Once more he heard a rustling sound from the willows, and for a moment he thought his horse had returned. Yet what stepped from the shadows of the trees was not his wayward mount, but a human of rugged appearance. He wore leather clothes that had seen many years of wear and carried a sword in his hand.

Lindir backed up several steps before stumbling over his own feet and falling to the ground. “What do you want?” He asked, frightened. He had never seen a human before, but had heard enough stories to make his voice quiver in fear.

The human said nothing; only approached the young elf with sword drawn and ready. Lindir had no experience with fighting due to his long illness during his earlier youth, yet that didn’t make him utterly helpless. He scrambled to his feet and with a sharp cry to his sister in warning, began to run. He knew not where he was going; only that it was away from the threatening human. However, he knew little about the ways of the woods beyond his home, while the human was obviously more learned. Lindir found himself stumbling over roots and struggling with low branches that seemed to hinder his escape. It didn’t take long before the human caught up with him, just as the young elf stumbled once more, twisting his ankle in the process.

Lindir remained huddled upon the forest floor as the human came near, certain his fate would be death. He waited, eyes closed, listening to the man’s footsteps draw closer. Then they stopped, and silence filled the forest where the two met. For a long time nothing happened. Lindir forced himself to lift his eyes, and was startled to see the human had lowered his sword. The man was staring at him with pity on his bearded face.

“You must flee,” he said gruffly. “I have been hired to kill you, but I cannot find it in myself to do so.”

“Who would want to kill me?” Lindir asked, eyes bright with fear.

“A tall elven witch as beautiful as the dawn. She said she would pay me well to cut out your heart and return it to her.”

“No, that’s impossible,” the young elf whispered, unable to believe that his dear sister would have ordered his death.

“You must believe it, for to do otherwise would mean your certain death,” the human implored. “She gave me this as payment, with more when the deed is complete.” He reached into a pouch at his side and pulled forth a simple silver ring set with a single black pearl. While there was nothing truly special about the trinket, Lindir immediately recognized it as Celebrian’s. She had been wearing the ring the night of his majority celebration.

“If you value your life,” the man continued, “then I suggest you flee as fast and as far from this land as you possibly can.”

Lindir shook his head in stunned denial and stood, favoring his sore ankle. Even recognizing the ring, he found it difficult to believe that his sister would wish him dead. The man, sensing he would receive only more argument, lifted his sword threateningly. “If you don’t run, you would leave me no choice but to take your life. The thought of destroying one as lovely as you would wound me deeply, but my fear of the witch is nearly as great!”

The young elf backed up a step. “But what of my heart?”

“I will take care of that. However, I beg that you leave me your cloak as well.”

Lindir removed the light cloak from his shoulders and handed it to the man with shaking fingers.

“Go now,” he shouted, “before she discovers this ruse!”

Lindir turned and raced into the depths of the forest, away from all he had known. The proof of his sister’s betrayal had been there for his eyes to see, and he felt his heart grow heavy with sorrow. His sister must truly hate him to do such a thing. He couldn’t understand what would cause her to despise him with such fervor. Was it mere jealousy over a rival’s affections, or was there something more? Did this have anything to do with his malformed body? Celebrian had said that she had seen it in the mirror, so she had known of the deformity for some time. Was he truly that grotesque that she would wish to have him murdered?

His mind was overcome with both grief and fear as he slowed his flight, stumbling aimlessly through the unfamiliar wood. What would happen should he try to return? Would his sister try to kill him once again? If he told any of what he had seen, would he be believed? Dare he risk Celebrian revealing his deformity to all? How would Lord Elrond react not only to the knowledge that Lindir was able to bear young, but had already given himself to another and was currently carrying life?

Lindir moaned softly, recalling his original purpose for being in this part of the forest. The leaves were still in his pouch, but dare he use them? What if Celebrian had lied to him concerning their use? What if they were a poison that would cause him harm, even death? And yet, could he possibly bring forth life alone out in the wilderness? Giving birth could be a dangerous affair for normal elves; how much more difficult would it be for him?

Or could Celebrian have lied about that as well, as a ploy to get him out in the forest alone? The thought caused him to slow further as he wound through a thick stand of fir. It was possible; after all, aside from an odd quivering feeling in his belly, he didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. The pain he had felt at joining with the guard had now completely receded, and his body healed from its internal wound. He had heard from others that first joinings could be painful if not preformed properly, so perhaps that was all that had happened.

But that still did little to help the situation he found himself in now; neither did it ease his heart much from the reality that his sister could be so malicious. So he continued on with tears trailing down his pale cheeks without a plan or purpose other than to flee those who would cause him harm.

~~~

Celebrian paid the hunter well for the heart and the cloak. The body was gone, he assured her; thrown into the swift part of the river where it would be carried downstream and away from any who would recognize it. The warm organ she placed in a watertight pouch at her side. What she didn’t realize was the heart she held was that of a young stag, recently killed.

He disappeared into the forest with Celebrian’s final warning in his ears: should he speak of this to any, she would find him and personally cut out his tongue.

Celebrian raced back towards the border of her realm as swiftly as her mare could run. The wind of her passing disheveled her hair and pricked her eyes until tears leaked from the treacherous orbs. When the wardens leapt from the trees to halt her headlong flight she wheeled her mare about and fell to the ground, appearing distraught and panicked. The wardens rushed to her side, and she clutched at them desperately. Her voice quivered as she told them of how she and Lindir had been gathering herbs near the river. Her dear brother had slipped on some rocks and fallen in.

The river had been too swift, she cried, and she could do nothing but scream in fear as her brother was pulled beneath the turbulent waves.

The wardens consumed her every word; none bothering to question her story. Several of the wardens made a search of the area; however no body did they find.

Celebrian was quickly escorted home. News spread swiftly, and soon the entire realm was mourning the loss of the young elf. When questioned as to their purpose for being beyond the borders, Celebrian wrung her hands in feigned misery, and gave Lord Elrond a sorrowful look. She then told her family of Lindir’s defilement at the hands of one of the border guards, only she cast her brother in a wanton light with the young elf seducing the elder.

The picture she painted seemed difficult to believe, had she not told it so skillfully. Truth and lies she wove together until her family was convinced that the ill-fated youth had been searching for not silveroyal leaves – for the reality of Lindir being with child was too much to ask of them to accept – but for heartblood root: a narcotic and mild aphrodisiac. She wept as she confessed that she should have told someone the moment she had known what was happening, but had thought that she could handle the problem herself and not have her dear brother’s reputation tarnished should his problem be revealed.

So it was with the acid taste of revealed half-truths in the back of their throats that they mourned Lindir’s loss. Celebrian further perpetuated her lies by carefully hiding a bit of the herb in her brother’s room, making it appear as though Lindir did indeed have secrets to hide. The heart she carried in her pouch she took back to her rooms. When she was assured of privacy she removed the organ, the congealing blood slippery between her fingers. She took out her sharp little knife and with an obscene delicacy began to slice off small pieces and eat them until the entire heart was devoured; for she had decided that to consume the heart of one so innocent and lovely would only help enhance her own beauty. After she was finished Celebrian plotted her next move: to convince Lord Elrond to take her with him back to his home in Imladris.