Come to me in dreams

Chapter 2.


Lindir sang and played his harp and incredibly beautiful music echoed in the room. When the last note ended, his only audience had tears in his grey eyes.

“That was so beautiful! You are nothing but miracle, Lindir nín,” Elrond finally said.

The young elf smiled fondly at his foster father. Lindir was so happy when he succeeded to make Elrond proud of him. Elrond had raised him, after he orphaned almost twenty years earlier, and Lindir loved the Elf- Lord like his own father.

Lindir had composed a song for tonight’s celebration and it would be his first public performance. Tomorrow he would join the other minstrels who lived and worked in Imladris. But before the night’s performance, he had wanted to sing his composition for Elrond because his opinion mattered to him most.

“I must admit that I’m quite nervous. Tonight is finally my majority celebration and my task is waiting for me,” he whispered, smiling shyly.

“It is natural but I’m sure that everyone will love your music, pen-neth (young one).” Elrond assured and hugged the young elf. Lindir was like warm breath in his cold and sad life. He had been devastated after his beloved Ereinion’s death but Elrond had found great consolation in watching Lindir grow into this beautiful elf. Tonight his foster son’s greatest dream would come true. More than anything, Lindir wanted to be a minstrel.

“And you will be one of the very best ever lived in Arda.” Elrond thought. Then he remembered something.

“What about your dreams? Have you still seen them?” He asked, concerned.

Lindir blushed. How in Arda he could tell to Elrond about them or rather, how they have changed lately and how he finally had found a way to ease them? Did he really want to tell Elrond that he crept into woods every night to dance… naked, alone? And how afterwards… afterwards he was so aroused that it was almost painful. Every time he had touched himself, stroked himself to completion before he could walk back to the House. Lindir cringed at that thought. What would Elrond think of him then? Would he think him strange, insatiable, and maybe even cheap? He felt so ashamed about it but what else he could do. It was the only way to ease this strange longing within him.

“I still see them but you don’t need to worry.” He finally said.

Elrond studied carefully Lindir’s face. He was sure that young elf tried to hide something from him but he also saw Lindir’s obvious embarrassment and he didn’t try to press him.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but if you ever have any worries, you can always come to me, even if you are now an adult.” Elrond said softly.

“I know and I promise to tell you if I need anything.” Lindir smiled, relieved at the fact that Elrond didn’t push him to tell. He bid him good day and left the Lord to his works.

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“Why do I always see him in my dreams? Is he real? And if he is, what does it mean that I’m dreaming about him?”

Once again, Lindir wondered this riddle but he couldn’t find the solution. He had been very embarrassed when his dream had changed and became less innocent.

For so many years, the dream had always stopped before his lover succeeded to touch him, but lately it had only been the beginning…

Lindir turned around quickly and once again, he saw his lover coming closer. Those beautiful green eyes were darkened with love and desire and as always, he wore only loose sleeping- pants. Lindir’s heart started to race but he didn’t try to escape, nor did he feel any need to cover himself. He let his gaze wonder upon his lover’s form as he undressed and everything he saw made his desire all the more intense. Lindir couldn’t turn his gaze away from his lover’s powerful, aroused body.

“Why? Why this is happening to me? Are you real?” The elf asked.

“I am. Come to me, meleth nín (my love) my love. I have waited for you... I have waited for you to love me... to make me yours.” Lindir answered and opened his arms.

His lover leaned closer and kissed him possessively, until Lindir melted into his lover’s arms. The elf lowered him gently on the soft grass and pulled him tightly against him. Lindir tensed, not from fear but waiting for the unknown.

“Shh… I won’t hurt you. I would love you, as you deserve to be loved. The elf whispered to him gently, caressing his flushed skin.

“I… want that… want you but I have never…, Lindir tried to say, but his lover silenced him with a sensual kiss.

“I know, meleth. You are mine, and mine alone… and always have been. There is no other for either of us and never will be.”

Lindir relaxed hearing those words, and little by little, his lover tempted him into passionate love- making. There was no hesitation, no shame between them, and Lindir gave everything of himself to his only love. He knew that his meleth wouldn’t be offended but happy, if he showed his love to him. Lindir let his hands wander upon him meleth’s body and his heart was full of love when he heard his noises of passion echoing around them, knowing that he was the cause. Lindir wanted to remember this spellbinding moment forever and how good it felt to hold his meleth in his arms.

When their bodies finally became one, Lindir wept with joy. His fëa( soul) sang in ecstasy and there was no more fear and shadows.

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“What is wrong with me?”

Lindir had begun to worry. This had continued too long now and he had to stop these dreams.

“Why am I pining after someone who I see only in my dreams? I don’t even know if he really exists. Why do I turn down everybody who tries to court me, only because of some dream-lover? Am I doomed to live alone, without someone to love? Will I ever find peace and happiness?”

This night had been the breaking- point. Lindir had many suitors, both ellith and ellyn had showed their interest and he was free to accept their offers now that he was an adult. but no one had stirred any feelings inside him. He was completely uninterested in everyone and it worried him. Finally, he had decided to be more willing to accept their affection. He had danced with many elves and really tried to enjoy himself. He had even agreed to join a nightly stroll in the gardens. But no! It all felt so wrong! Finally, he had escaped when his companion had tried to kiss him. Lindir couldn’t stand the thought someone else touching him, no matter how hard he had tried.

Lindir cried, as he ran. Once again, he was going to his secret spot that he had found right before his majority celebration. Only here, could he find at least a passing relief in his troubled heart. The clearing was the very same he always saw in his dreams, only lacking his dream-lover.

Once again he did as every night before; he took all his clothes off, letting warm night- air caress his bare body. After long pause, he raised his voice to sing the song he had sang in his dream. Soon his body had joined in the sensual rhythm and he danced, whirling around under the stars.

The night was clear and serene. There wasn’t one single cloud in the sky that would shade Ithil’s silvery light. Not even the lightest breeze disturbed this complete peace. This time Lindir still felt something different in the surroundings and suddenly the certainty hit him.

He wasn’t alone.

Lindir turned around quickly and his heart almost stopped. He saw the elf coming to him, his vivid green eyes darkened with love and desire. This time they didn’t talk, for words between them were now needless. Without hesitation, Lindir opened his arms to his meleth (love) and captured his mouth into searing kiss.