Have a little faith in me

2. A Week Later


About a week later, right after he’d woken up, Dominic took the phone and dialled Billy’s number. He’d decided to give his friend some time to think about his feelings and everything, but now he couldn’t wait any longer. He’d missed him so much those days and had constantly been thinking about him. After a few seconds, Billy answered the phone.

“Hm?”

“Hey. It’s me. How are you?”

Billy shrugged. Realizing that Dom couldn’t see that through the phone, he said: “I don’t know. Could be better I guess.”

“Okay. Well, listen. Do you feel ready to get out of the house today?”, Dom asked.

“No.”

Dom sighed: “Oh come on, yes you are. I’m going to call the guys and were going out. Of course not... all... the boys, but Orlando and Sean and Viggo and whoever you want to see.”

“Dom... please, I really don’t feel like going out...”, Billy protested.

“But you can’t stay inside forever. The –“

“A week’s not forever.” Billy interrupted him.

“Yeah, but as I was about to say: The sooner you get out of there, the better for you. We don’t need to go out, I can also invite you all home to me and cook something. It’ll be a quiet evening between friends. Do you prefer that? And who would you like to see?”

“You decide.”

Dom sighed again. “Billyyy.”

“Viggo’s alright and the Seans and Orlando... invite everyone who’s got time.”, Billy said unwillingly.


“Better. Well, I’m going to call you later to tell you the details. Bye-bye.” With these words Dom hung up and started organizing the evening.

~~~***~~~

After Dom had hung up, Billy put the phone back on his night desk and pulled the blanket over his head. Since Dom had left his flat the other day, he had spent practically the whole three days in bed. He couldn’t bring himself to get up, shower and continue his life like nothing had happened. Never in his life he had been this depressed. Everything reminded him of Elijah. He’d been crying, thinking that he would never hold Elijah in his arms again, never feel his tender lips on his own... Then suddenly his frustration turned into anger as he was wondering how Elijah could’ve been so cruel to let him think that he returned his love. But then again, he became ashamed of thinking bad of his beloved angel and the tears started running down his face again like waterfalls.

Billy was still below his blanket. He was staring at the white sheets. The sheets, they had chosen together. Elijah and him. He felt his eyes fill up with tears once again....

Five hours later, he was woken up by the doorbell. He sat up and tried to figure out what was going on. As the doorbell didn’t stop ringing and was causing him a headache, he crawled out of bed and somehow got to the front door and opened it.

~~~***~~~


Oh my god. Oh my god was the only thing that came into Dominic’s head as he saw Billy. He was wearing the same clothes as the last time he’d seen him: black t-shirt and jeans; no shoes and socks. His hair was messy and greasy, it was obvious he hadn’t been showering or shaving for a long time. He had dark shades below his unnaturally red eyes. He looked tired and old and incredibly sad.

“Oh, you.”, Billy said, turned around and went back into his bedroom.

Dom looked after him. Who else had he been expecting? Elijah? He entered Billy’s flat and closed the door behind him. Everything looked exactly the same. “Billy?” He followed his friend into his bedroom. Billy was lying under the blanket staring at the ceiling. Dom frowned and sat beside him on the bed.

“Have you spent all the time in bed?”, he asked after a few minutes.

Billy didn’t look at him and nodded.

Dom sat there for another instant or two and then he jumped up, pulling the blanket away: “Okay, get up.”

Billy looked at him like a little child. It was such a pityfull sight, that Dominic just wanted to pull Billy into his arms and make all the pain go away.

“Come on, get up.”

Billy sighed and sat up. Dom took his hand and pulled him on his legs, then lead him into his bathroom. He told him to sit down on the loo and prepared him a hot bath. While the water was running into the tub, he looked at his friend.

“After this, you’re gonna feel much better, I promise.” Dom said.

Billy looked at him without any expression on his face. It hurt Dom incredibly to see his love in this condition.

“Billy... smile. Please, for me. I can’t bear to see you like this...”

Billy kept looking at him, but didn’t manage a smile, so he looked at his feet. Dom put his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Okay, the water’s ready. Should I leave you alone or do you prefer-“, Dom started, but was interrupted.

“I think, I’m still able to manage this alone, thank you.” Billy said and pulled his shirt over his head. Dom nodded and exited the room, closing the door. He looked at the mess in his friend’s bedroom and shook his head. He had never seen him like this. And he hoped dearly that it was the last time that he had to go through this. He opened the window and started cleaning up a bit.


~~~***~~~

After he’d gotten out of his clothes, Billy got into the hot bathtub. The water was very hot and immediately warmed him up. He pulled his knees to his body and put his arms around his legs. He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the first thing that his eyes met, was his razor. How easy it would be to just put an end to his life...


He took the razor and touched the blades with his fingers. Why not? A life without love wasn’t worth living. And after the intense love he had experienced for Elijah, he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to love anyone for the rest of his life. So why not put the blade against his wrists and die immediately? But there was something holding him back. He didn’t know what it was, but apparently there was a part in him, that still had some hope. He sighed and put the razor down again. He put some shampoo on his hands and washed his hair. It felt good. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, the bath really made him feel better. Dom always managed to make him feel better. After his bath, he got out and wrapped himself in a huge towel. He looked into the mirror and was frightened of what he saw. He really looked terrible. Old. Incredibly old and miserable. He shaved his beard and brushed his teeth, then took another look into the mirror. Better. His eyes met the TUBE of make-up on his shelf. It was Elijah’s. He had always found it rediculous that Elijah used it. He even put on eye-liner sometimes when they were going out. But now, on second thought, he felt that it could be useful. He took the make-up and tried to hide the shades below his eyes with it and was really surprised that it actually worked. He dried his hair and stared at his face. A slight smile ran over his lips. It didn’t seem as hopeless as before. Maybe there was a way to survive with Elijah. He exited the bathroom and put on some new clothes. Then he got out of his bedroom.


~~~***~~~

Dom was sitting on the sofa, reading through a magazine he found in the kitchen, when Billy finally got out of his room. He was truly amazed at what he saw. That was the Billy he knew. He smiled: “Better?”

Billy smiled back: “Yes. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Billy had really smiled. Dom was relieved. Finally a sign of life of his friend. Billy sat down beside Dom and looked at him.

“So, what are we going to do tonight?”, Billy asked.

“Well, I’m gonna cook at my place. Viggo’s coming. Orlando and Sean as well. The other Sean doesn’t know yet, but he’ll probably come as well. Liv might come as well. It’s gonna be great.”

“Okay.” Billy smiled again.

Dom was happy. It was going to be like before, he knew it now. Before Elijah had ruined everything. Before that little... well, before he had to seduce Billy, so that that one only had eyes for Lij and started neglecting his best friend, Dom. Well, that was now over anyway, so why think about it. “Ready to go?”, he asked.

Billy nodded and put on his coat. A few minutes later, they left the appartment and went into the supermarket to get all they needed for the meal that evening.

~~~***~~~

The doorbell chimed and Dominic hushed to the door. It was Sean Astin.

“Heyyy!”, Dom said and hugged his Hobbit-companion.

“Hi, it’s been some time.” Sean said and returned the hug. Then he took off his coat and Dom put it away.

“So... how is he?”, Sean whispered. Dominic had told him about the break-up.

“Actually, he’s a lot better. When I got in his flat, he was horribly depressed, but after a shower, he was really better. He even smiled.” Dom said with a smile on his face.

“Great.”, Sean said, smiling as well. Then he added: “You leave him some time, alright? I can imagine, that now that he’s single again, you’re gonna try to get him eventually... But it’s not going to be that easy for him to get over Elijah. I mean, really get over him.” Sometimes Dom regretted that he had told Sean about his thing for Billy, like for instance in moments like these. He nodded: “I know, I know, who do you think I am? I’ve waited for so long, I can manage some weeks more.”

Then he called out: “Billy, Astin’s here. Come say hello.”


Billy came out of the kitchen and saw Sean. He smiled and ran towards him, hugging him: “Hiya. It’s been so long. It’s great to see you again.” They looked at eachother and smiled.

At that moment, the doorbell rang again and Dom opened it. It was Viggo, who was happily welcomed by the three hobbits. After the greetings, they went into the living room, where they sat down and got some champagne. The next one who arrived was Liv. Sean and Orlando were late- as usual.

When they finally turned up as well, dinner was already served and they could immediately take place.

Dom got up and gave a little speech: “I’m glad you all could come. I hope you all like mexican food, because Bill and I have cooked some wonderful Fajitas. Cheers.” He grinned, sat down and everyone began eating. The ambition was good. They talked about the projects they were working on at the moment as well as about many other things. When everyone had finished eating, Orlando took a look around the table.

“Hey... where’s Elijah? I thought, the both of you were kind of inseparable, so why isn’t he here tonight?” he said smirking, looking at Billy.

Silence. Billy looked at him. Then he looked away, didn’t know what to answer him. During the whole dinner, he hadn’t thought about Elijah at all. For the first time since he’d broken up. He grabbed the plate with the rests of the salad and quickly ecaped into the kitchen. After he’d left, Dom quickly followed him, throwing an evil look at Orlando.

Liv hit Orlando slightly on his head: “Did you have to?”

Orlando didn’t know what was going on. He looked at Sean (B.) questioningly: “What did I do now...?”

Sean sighed, putting an arm around his boyfriend: “They split up.”

Orlando looked at him with a shocked expression on his face: “No! Seriously? Oh god, I didn’t know. Why doesn’t anyone tell me things like that? Oh god, I’m such a jerk. When? How?”

Liv explained him everything and Orlando felt incredibly guilty.

“Poor Billy. Oh god, how he must feel now. I feel horrible. I’ve got to apologize.” Orlando jumped up and before anyone could hold him back, he headed to the kitchen, where Dom was comforting Billy.

~~~***~~~


Billy was standing by the sink, looking inside it, when Dominic entered the kitchen. He went to him and put his arms around him. Billy didn’t move or say anything.

“Hey...”, Dom said. “I’m sorry. Orlando didn’t know. I presumed, Sean would tell him, but apparently I was wrong. Are you alright, sweetie?”

Billy turned around and put his arms around Dominic, hugging him tightly. Then he looked at him: “It’s not Orlando’s fault, I don’t blame him. It just hurts like hell when anyone only mentions his name. You understand?”

Dom nodded. “But you’re okay, right?”


“Yes. Yes, I am. But Dom, I think... I’ve made a decision. I’m going back to Scotland for a while. Don’t look like that. I think it’ll be good for me to be home for a while, you know, to see my family, my old friends and everything. The fresh air will be good for me, I was planning to leave LA anyway, so now’s the best time for that.”

Dom looked at him with surprise. He wasn’t expecting something like that now. “Okay, I’m going to join you, it’s going to be...” He stopped as he saw that Billy was shaking his head.

“No, Dom. I really appreciate your offer, but... I’d just like to be alone for some time. I need some space to figure out what I’m gonna do next, you know? You understand that, don’t you?”

Dom nodded. “Of course I do.”

“It’s not going to be for a long time. Just some weeks... Maybe one or two months. After that, I’m going to feel better, I know it. Don’t look like that...”

“I’m not looking... like that. But that’s a horribly long time, you know?”

“No, it’s not. You’ll manage without me. And as soon as I miss you too much, I’m gonna call, I promise.”

“Chr-Chrm...”

Both of them looked at the door, where Orlando was standing.

“Um... could I... talk to you for a second, Billy?”, he asked.

Dom looked at Billy who nodded. Then he left the room and joined his guests. Orlando came closer to the hobbit and looked really really sorry: “Billy, I... I didn’t know. They just told me. I’m awfully sorry, seriously. You know, that I’d be the last person who’d want to hurt you, right?”

Billy smiled slightly: “Yes, I know. It’s okay. I just... you know, his name. It just hurts.”

“Oh god, I feel awful. But they never tell me anything, as you may know.” Orlando said with an apologizing look in his eyes.

Billy nodded and hugged his tall friend. “I forgive you. I’m happy to see you again. I really missed you.”

Orlando returned the embrace and smiled: “Me too, little friend. So, what next? I couldn’t help but hear some pieces of your conversation. You’re leaving LA?”

Billy let go of Orlando and nodded: “Yes. I’m going home. Back to Scotland. I miss my home and everything and I think it is the best place to forget everything.”

“That’s a good idea.” Orlando said and smiled.


“So... is there a dessert?”, he asked, looking around.

Billy grinned: “Stop eating so many sweets or you’re gonna end up like Peter. But yes, of course. I’ve made some Tiramisu.”

Orlando said: “Mmh. My favourite. Well, then let’s not waste any more time and get over with it.”

They joined their friends, had their dessert and celebrated their first evening together in a long time.

The next morning, Billy took off to Scotland.


Tbc...