If You Love Something...

Disclaimer:

Shana: *gazing out window wistfully at her friend gallivanting with a very naked Haldir*

Glorfindel: You could join them.

Shana: *sigh* Just not up for it. Too much bad stuff has been going on in the past year. I don't own my friends or any Tolkien recognizable characters. Janessa is mine.

Glorfindel: Nice segue. Stop dwelling on all that.

Shana: Why? *eyebrow* It makes for great fuel for this uber-angsty fic.

Glorfindel: Point. However, it's going to eat you alive if you don't take your mind off this "bad stuff."

Shana: What? You gonna *makes air quotes* distract me?

Glorfindel: *leers* That could be arranged…

Shana: Uh oh.

Corvis: *oblivious, naked, cavorting on lawn with chocolate-hyped Haldir*

Chapter 2: Left Behind

Haldir on the other hand…

Legolas stood at the top of the flight of stairs leading into the Last Homely House. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the receding view of his human lover. Resolutely, he pushed back the niggling tendrils of despair that threatened to spread through him. Unmoving, he remained rooted to that spot until Janessa was finally out of sight.

Spinning on his heel, the archer kept his face blank and impassive as he strode back into the edifice and toward his rooms. He ignored the many stares and whispers he garnered with his passage, all too aware that the impact of Janessa's hand had left a clear handprint on the side of his face.

Those who had not borne furtive witness to the altercation had likely heard the redhead's very loud remonstrations. More than one elfin face broached visible censure for the Prince's behavior of late.

It wasn't the first fight they'd had in recent weeks. Ironically enough, it wasn't even the worst one. And every single time he had been deemed the "bad guy." Somehow it was his entire fault. As if there was something wrong with him wanting to make their already existing bond permanent.

Even Glorfindel had been displaying a certain level of disgust with the Prince. The seneschal's departure for Imladris' borders had preceded Janessa's by only days.

Maybe she's…

Legolas tossed aside that errant thought. The redhead and the balrog-slayer had become fast friends, but nothing more. As intriguing as the Elda found Jan, he was ever the consummate bachelor.

The blonde archer just wasn't sure what to make of everything.

Everyone had told him, "Give it time. Don't rush anything." Did it not matter that he loved her? Why should her feelings be considered above his? Even Elrond had told him to have patience. "You have all of eternity to explore your feelings, this relationship. Let things unfold naturally, over time."

Did no one consider the fact that Janessa was human, and therefore mortal? Eternity wasn't exactly an option for them. Unless everyone else knew something he did not.

That telling thought put a check in his stride.

Does everyone know something I do not? No, that can't be it.

The blonde archer dismissed that line of reasoning, once again moving toward his rooms.

Janessa had been different of late. First distancing herself emotionally from him, then physically by moving to the other side of Elrond's house, and now by leaving Imladris altogether.

He was losing her, he just knew it.

And all because he simply could not rein in his irrational jealousy and possessiveness. Yes, he'd been protective of the woman since her arrival in Middle Earth. But who could blame him? If they considered for just a moment everything she had been through, including the manner in which she came to be there, it was obvious that she needed to be taken care of.

That was all fine and dandy to begin with. The redhead had welcomed his protection, even encouraged it. At first. As she'd started to pull away, most noticeably after that interlude with Haldir, he'd had to change tactics, finding new ways to keep her close. His behavior hadn't gone unnoticed. She'd put up with it… until she caught him spying on her, Rumil and Haldir.

The trio had been lazing around one of Imladris' many secluded gardens, telling "big fish" stories, as the redhead referred to them. The varied tales all held a grain of truth to them, but pride and time had distorted the actual facts. The storytelling had escalated to the point of each trying to outdo the last in flamboyance and sheer charisma. The absurdity of it was undeniably amusing.

Janessa had fallen back onto the grass, doubled up with laughter at the overblown impersonation Haldir was performing of Elrond. Jan could just see the lord in question arching one dark brow and muttering something like, "Elflings," under his breath. Gasping for air, she'd looked up into the tree above her, into crystal blue eyes. Her laughter had immediately cut off, a scowl growing on her features.

Rolling to her feet, she'd addressed her question to the canopy.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing up there? Were you spying on me? Do you have so little faith in me?"

A contrite Legolas had dropped out of the tree and silently accepted the tongue-lashing he'd earned. The other elves had looked on in open irritation at the blonde archer's behavior.

He'd had to be a lot more careful in how he went about spying after that.

But again, she'd managed to catch him at it more than once. Granted, it had been his own fault that he couldn't seem to control his overprotective impulses. And he'd never been one to be paranoid before. Then again, he'd never been involved with a human.

Legolas threw open the door to his rooms, the solid piece of wood rebounding off the wall with an impressive bang. He caught it as it swung back, slamming it shut with a resounding crash. He imagined more than a few elves were clamping their hands over their offended ears at the noise.

He made his way toward his private bathing chamber, shedding clothes as he went. It was as he reached the edge of the sunken pool that the shaking began. It started as the smallest tremor in his abdomen and radiated outward until his whole body was engaged. Wanting to believe that he'd just caught a chill, ignoring the fact that elves didn't catch chills, he slipped swiftly into the steaming water.

It was only once he had settled in the bath that he registered the moisture tracking down his face. Touching his face in wonder, he realized he was crying, and probably had been for a while.

The blonde archer let his head fall back against the edge of the pool. Secure in the secluded sanctuary, he let the roiling emotions he'd been holding back pour forth. Caught by the cresting wave, muted sobs broke from his chest as he relinquished any semblance of control.

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Jan pitched forward in her saddle. The tide of unrestrained grief that broke over her took her breath away. Knowing full well that the emotions weren't hers, she realized that Legolas had finally comprehended the enormity of the situation. He must have realized just how badly he'd mucked things up.

Elrohir and Elladan moved to flank the redhead, making sure she was indeed alright. The two elves shared a concerned look over her head, as she waved them back, righting herself in her seat.

Janessa firmly and carefully set aside that part of her mind that was receiving Legolas' emotions. The feelings now muted whispers in her mind; she firmed her resolve to stay the course she'd plotted. She was not turning back. Not after everything else. Nodding to her two companions, she dug her heels into Ebony's sides, spurring the horse from a fast trot to a ground-eating gallop.

The trio set a hard, demanding pace, in agreement that they shouldn't linger in the wilds. While the Dark Lord Sauron had been defeated, there still were errant bands of marauders that wouldn't hesitate to set upon unwary travelers.

They rode into the night, stopping only to answer the call of nature and finally when Janessa nearly fell off Ebony, dozing as she was in the saddle.

That set the tone for the duration of the trip, a quiet, somber one with each lost in their own thoughts.

TBC.

A/N: I'm hoping to get this fic finally written and completed within the next couple months. I still need to finish the final chapter of The Crux of the Problem as well, but I've been making some headway of late. No, life hasn't actually really improved, but I'm surviving and trying to escape the "bad shit" by writing.

Please leave me a review. The feedback lets me know that there are still people out there interested in my writing (on hiatus as it's been).