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One Night's Blessings
folder
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
2,902
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
2,902
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Two
Disclaimer: Don’t own the characters (sadly) and don’t know the actors that portrayed them (I wish –drools- :P) This fanfic is going to be NC17 rating. Think yummy m/m loving. Also will be foul language (like anyone cares) and Mpreg (duh) as well as some… hmm how to say it? Blood and gore. (whoever said childbirth is beautiful was on crack –chuckles- towels, anyone?) Basically if you shouldn’t be reading this, don’t. I assume no responsibility whatsoever for compromising young minds and all that mess. Now the yummy wet dreams and fantasies, you’re more than welcome to blame me for hehe –winks- happy reading!
Pairing: Frodo/Merry, and some Legolas/Pip
Warnings: NC17 Mpreg like I said.Some violence. Blood and gore, & Language
Author’s Note: My first LOTR mpreg fanfic so please please be nice if you leave feedback. Constructive criticism is fine, but no flames please. color_me_complicated@hotmail.com ^_^ Hope you all enjoy! –Ragdoll
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter Two- Fears Come to Light
Frodo frowned as he watched Merry above him, his lover seeming to curl up into the chair, as if he could disappear. Frodo tried to think of something to say, something that would encourage Merry to open up to him. Still, he was almost afraid to push him too far. He’d seen Merry break down before. Merry was ill and Frodo feared to make it worse if he insisted on Merry telling him. In the end, Merry shook his head and turned away, hiding his face in his rather long hair and against the back of the chair. A choked whisper then, as Merry voiced a mere two words to his beloved,
“I can’t…”
‘I can’t tell him’ his mind repeated, and he prayed Frodo would let it go for now, would let him rest. He could feel exhaustion dragging at him, and knew he should probably try to eat something, but he seemed afraid to even move, curling up even more so in the chair. Finally, Frodo couldn’t bear it any longer. Sighing, he gently picked Merry up, startling the slightly smaller hobbit. He carried him into the kitchen, as if he’d sensed his earlier thoughts, and he was gentle when he settled him into a chair at the small round table. Merry sighed, laying his head down on the table top atop his crossed arms. He let his cornflower blue eyes drift closed, trying to think through everything.
So much had changed in the space of a few hours tonight. He and Frodo had professed their love for each other and were now together… or were they? Merry wasn’t sure. With so much still left unsaid, Merry was afraid to think of where they stood. A part of him wanted to tell Frodo everything and pray he’d accept it. A part of him wanted so to hear Frodo tell him that he’d protect him, that he loved him and their unborn baby, and that everything would be perfect. But, Merry tried to be realistic. Perfection may well be unattainable in this new relationship he shared with Frodo. Indeed, they could go down in flames, as it were.
Merry hated to think like that, knew he’d work himself into depression under the weight of such thoughts, but he couldn’t help it. He tended to think in worst case scenarios, and in his mind, their relationship could go one of two ways. Either they would work through it all and raise their child together happily, or Frodo would abandon him to tend to the child on his own, and he’d eventually die of a broken heart. Of course as soon as he thought this, other fears began to surface. What if the pregnancy itself killed him? It had been known to happen before with women. Surely it was a possibility with him. After all, his body wasn’t truly made to handle such a burden. Sure, genetics had made it possible for him to conceive, but could his slender form truly protect and nurture another life? And the thought of the birth itself terrified him. He knew he couldn’t do this alone.
He’d been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard Frodo calling his name, or even realized he had been asked a question. Finally, Frodo gave up calling him, and walked over to him instead. He placed his hand gently on Merry’s shoulder, hoping not to startle him, but Merry gave an undignified yelp despite Frodo’s attempt at caution. He flinched away from Frodo, before seeming to come back to himself. Sighing, he hung his head, managing a soft apology.
“I’m sorry… I don’t know why I’m so jumpy…”
But, that was a lie. He knew very well why he felt so nervous. There was so much he had to say, and he believed Frodo would turn him away as soon as he had told him the whole truth. He looked up at Frodo then, seeming to study him, searching his eyes. They shared a moment of silence, locking gazes and both lost in thought for a time. Finally, Frodo shook his head, snapping out of it. He walked back towards the pantry he had been perusing, before remembering what he had meant to ask in the first place.
“What would you like me to make? You need to eat, Merry. I know better than to make anything too rich, with your stomach being upset, but beyond that, I can make just about anything you would like.”
Frodo watched as Merry seemed to relax, and then as he thought for a long moment. Finally with a sigh, he shrugged, replying quietly,
“Anything you wish is fine with me… I’m not sure that I can eat much right now anyway… But, I think I should try at least. If not for me then.. for…” He trailed off for a moment, catching his near slip, and quickly tried to think of something to say to cover it up. Unable to think up anything clever, he chose instead to speak from the heart.
“Thank you, Frodo… for everything. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me that you’re taking care of me… I don’t mean to be a nuisance though… if at any time you want me to leave, only say so… I’ll go home and I won’t bother you again. I promise…”
He hadn’t meant to say all that, and now hung his head again. Tears stung his eyes, and he held them back, cursing himself. He had never been like this. He’d never been so submissive or felt so weak. If anything, Merry was known for being quite intelligent, sarcastic, and fun loving. Now, he felt he didn’t live up to his reputation. He felt as if he was worthless, if only for this moment. He felt he didn’t deserve Frodo, and that he was nothing more than trouble. He blamed himself for their night of drunken bliss. He should have said no, he knew. He should have been strong enough to spare them both the uncertainty and regret that they would likely go through in the future, that was there even now.
Frodo stood silent for a long moment, staring in slack-jawed awe at Merry. What he had said seemed to cut to the bone, and Frodo wasn’t at all sure how to take it. Had he not made himself clear? Did Merry not see how much Frodo loved him? For years, Frodo had prayed he’d find someone to love, and someone whom he could share his life with, but he had never imagined that he’d find that one person so close to home.
He had known Merry, Pip, and Sam for many years, it seemed. Yet, he had never felt a love interest in Sam. They were close friends and Frodo trusted him implicitly, but he couldn’t see himself with Sam, despite their friendship, or maybe because of it. And while he found Pip to be adorable at times, he felt that what they had could never go beyond friendship. Now, Pip was with Legolas, and seemed to be very happy with him, even though very few knew of their relationship at this point. But with Merry, Frodo’s feelings had always run deep. While it had been only friendship at first, it quickly developed into love, and finally into deep devotion.
Frodo had always been too afraid to say anything to Merry about his feelings. Fear of rejection ran deep in his heart, and he never found the right moment to even attempt to confront his secret love. Then, he was presented with the chance to essentially save the world. Feeling that no one else could manage it, and that at least he could leave this world with some dignity this way, he took up the responsibility himself.
He had been shocked when so many had joined him, especially since Merry was amongst them. His heart had leapt up into his throat over that fact. His love would be in harm’s way, and he couldn’t help feeling he may not be able to save him if it came to life or death. Towards the end of the long journey, Frodo had given up. He gave into his despair, and he had felt sure he’d never see Merry or the others again. Fortunately, they had been able to destroy the cursed ring, but it had cost them all. Lives were lost and cities had been destroyed. Frodo lost one finger to the vile creature Gollum had become, and had nearly died more than once through the journey. Worst of all, his precious illusions and innocence had been lost. He wasn’t the same hobbit he’d been before the many trials of the war, but he couldn’t regret it. He had, after all, succeeded in his undertaking, despite the costs.
They had all been able to return home safely, and he finally had begun to work up to telling Merry of his feelings. Then, they had shared that night together, and while it had been encouraged, if not brought on, by alcohol, it had meant more to Frodo than any night before or since. He had fallen head over heels in love with Merry, and was now beyond help. Nothing could ever change his feelings for his lover.
So, he had been hurt and confused when Merry spoke of himself as a nuisance, a pest. He thought he had made himself clear to the younger hobbit. Sighing, he set aside the jar he had plucked from the pantry, and slowly made his way over to sit beside Merry at the table. Merry turned frightened, tearful eyes towards him, and Frodo quickly drew him into his arms. Merry stiffened, meaning to pull away, but found he couldn’t do it. Whether he cared to admit to it or not, he needed Frodo. He knew he would end up crying again if he let Frodo hold him, knew he’d tell all, but he didn’t have the strength to pull away.
So before long, he was crying softly against his love’s chest, managing to tell Frodo everything, though his voice was weak and soft, and his soft sobs choked him time and again.
“Please… don’t laugh, or turn me away… but I think… I know… I’m pregnant, Frodo…. I know it sounds… it sounds crazy, but it’s true… and I’m so scared… I can’t do this alone. I can’t! And you don’t… need all this trouble… You don’t need… us. And I’m so sorry. I should have stopped it…. I should have realized… But I love you….. so much, and I needed… to feel you that night. I wish we could be together… like that every night… I just want to be with you… but if anyone ever finds out… Frodo, they see you as a hero… I’ll ruin it all… I should go… I’m so sorry…”
He was sobbing hard now, barely able to take a breath, and he tried to straighten up and pull away. Though Frodo was shocked and lost in thought, he didn’t allow his love to pull away. Instead, he drew him yet closer to him, making soothing sounds and gently rubbing his back. Merry fought him for all of a second before limply allowing himself to be embraced once more. He sighed deeply, resting his head against Frodo’s chest and fearing that this was the calm before the storm.
Frodo sat silent, contemplating Merry’s words and frowning deeply, unseen to the smaller hobbit held in the warm sanctuary of his arms. ‘Pregnant?’ his mind whispered, he half wanting to laugh at the seeming ridiculousness of it. Merry was male. It was impossible… wasn’t it? And yet, he was starting to believe. It fit, he knew. The symptoms made sense. The illness was simple morning sickness, the mood swings were indicative of Merry’s condition, and Merry’s nearly fainting earlier spoke of the exhaustion one might expect as his body adjusted to the many changes.
He knew it was true, had accepted it rather quickly, but he didn’t know what to say. There were so many thoughts he wanted to speak aloud, and yet Merry seemed fragile just now, shivering slightly against him. Finally, Frodo managed to speak softly to Merry words that touched his heart and soothed his panicked mind.
“I’ll never turn you away, my love. Never. I am yours, Merry, through and through. Nothing anyone could ever say or do will change that. I love you with all my heart, and you don’t have to be alone. I will be by your side every step of the way. I promise. I believe you, Merry. I won’t laugh. I know you wouldn’t lie over such a thing… As for what everyone else thinks… they see us both as heroes, love. They would want us to be happy, even if they can’t understand it, or accept that you can bear children. But, we won’t be able to hide it… How is it so, anyway?”
He looked down to Merry with a soft smile then, gently kissing his cheek and trying to reassure him. The question could have waited, Frodo knew, but he thought it would lighten the mood some, and that it would do Merry well to talk about it. Above all else, he was curious. It was uncommon enough that he had never encountered it, even in all his readings. Still, he knew of a way to be certain that Merry was in fact pregnant and he would mention it to him in time. It was a simple enough test, but they’d need at least another week, or it would be inconclusive.
Merry frowned, trying to think of the best way to explain, and having trouble finding the words. The truth of it was that he wasn’t sure. He’d always just been told it was in his family line, something in their blood that made it so. The terms for genetics didn’t exist at this point, but healers knew enough to know that certain traits could be carried in the blood and passed from mother or father to child. Merry knew the ability had been passed to him from his own father, but he couldn’t say with whom the ability had started. Their family was a rather broken one, and their history was lost amidst the shadows and anger that came from severed relations. Sighing deeply, he finally tried to explain to his beloved as well as he could.
“It’s carried in my blood. My father always told me I couldn’t lay with another male. He can conceive too… He never has though. His interests don’t run to men. Actually, he hasn’t even looked at anyone since my mother passed away. But, he favors women… Oh forgive me. I tend to get off track I guess…. It’s been in my family for years. Occasionally, it skips over some of us, but most males in my family can get pregnant… It’s never really been a problem hiding it. As far as I know, it’s only happened twice. With the first, both babe and father were lost in the birth… With the second, the babe’s sire insisted on hiding. They left their home and managed to hide in a woods some distance away… Unfortunately, from what I heard, that child was lost as well. The father lived, but the babe was born dead. Any son born to me… well to us, will probably be able to conceive as well… I’m not a freak, but people will see me that way. We have to find a way to hide, Frodo… if anyone finds out... I think they may try to harm us, or the babe…”
Frodo had remained silent while Merry was speaking, but emotions had played over his fair features; interest, surprise, fear, and love. While Merry understood the other three, he wasn’t sure where the fear stemmed from. It had shone in Frodo’s bright eyes before Merry had suggested that people would try to harm them or their baby. Tilting his head slightly, he called quietly,
“Frodo? What is it that frightens you so?”
Frodo blinked at him, as if he hadn’t heard him, too lost in the feeling of dread creeping over him. He was terrified that he would lose Merry, or that the baby would be born dead or lost in birth, like the two Merry spoke of. He felt guilty that he had taken him that night, and that they now had a child on the way that might not survive, or worse, that might end up killing his beloved Merry. Finally, he dared to speak up, voice merely a cracking whisper.
“I couldn’t bear to lose you...”
Realization dawned on Merry then, and he shook his head, kissing Frodo’s ever soft lips almost desperately. When he finally broke the kiss, they were both rather breathless and flushed, though it hadn’t been a lustful kiss. Merry sat back some then, frowning thoughtfully at him, before saying softly,
“You won’t lose me… no matter what happens; I’ll always be with you. There’s nothing that can take me from you now that we’ve found each other. I am yours, Frodo… if… if something happens and the baby dies… I’ll fight to stay. I promise you that… I won’t lie to you. It’ll break my heart… I’m almost completely certain that there is a child. I already love him… or her… I don’t want anything to go wrong. I don’t want to lose our baby… But we can’t control fate. I will be as careful as I can be, and take care of myself, but in the end, we can’t control our own fate. The stars guide us, my love… But no matter what should happen, I won’t leave you. Even if only in spirit, I’ll always be with you.”
Frodo prayed that Merry could stay with him in body, though he cherished all of him, spirit and soul included. He desperately didn’t want to lose him, and though he found some comfort in the fact that his love would always be with him in some way or form, he wanted him here with him in body more than anything else. He wanted to be able to hold him, to cuddle him, to kiss him, to…
He moved to capture his lips in a near bruising kiss, but stopped short at the sound of the front door being thrown open, and a drunken voice calling,
“Frodo?... Why’d you leave the party? Frodo!?”
There was a small crash, followed by muttered curses, and finally another, slightly more sober voice calling out,
“Pip! Get back here! You don’t just barge into other people’s homes…. What’d you do to your shirt…..Pippin!”
Laughter followed, and Frodo sighed.
“Pip and Legolas,” he whispered, standing and ushering Merry back into the bedroom, silently bidding him to remain hidden. Legolas’ elven magic and piercing gaze may see too much, and they truly weren’t ready for anyone else to know yet, if ever. Wandering out into the front entryway, his blue eyes went a bit wide at the sight before him. Shaking his head, he sighed. ‘Pippin, you twit…’ It was going to be a long night.
TBC…
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Please Review. Thanks!
Pairing: Frodo/Merry, and some Legolas/Pip
Warnings: NC17 Mpreg like I said.Some violence. Blood and gore, & Language
Author’s Note: My first LOTR mpreg fanfic so please please be nice if you leave feedback. Constructive criticism is fine, but no flames please. color_me_complicated@hotmail.com ^_^ Hope you all enjoy! –Ragdoll
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter Two- Fears Come to Light
Frodo frowned as he watched Merry above him, his lover seeming to curl up into the chair, as if he could disappear. Frodo tried to think of something to say, something that would encourage Merry to open up to him. Still, he was almost afraid to push him too far. He’d seen Merry break down before. Merry was ill and Frodo feared to make it worse if he insisted on Merry telling him. In the end, Merry shook his head and turned away, hiding his face in his rather long hair and against the back of the chair. A choked whisper then, as Merry voiced a mere two words to his beloved,
“I can’t…”
‘I can’t tell him’ his mind repeated, and he prayed Frodo would let it go for now, would let him rest. He could feel exhaustion dragging at him, and knew he should probably try to eat something, but he seemed afraid to even move, curling up even more so in the chair. Finally, Frodo couldn’t bear it any longer. Sighing, he gently picked Merry up, startling the slightly smaller hobbit. He carried him into the kitchen, as if he’d sensed his earlier thoughts, and he was gentle when he settled him into a chair at the small round table. Merry sighed, laying his head down on the table top atop his crossed arms. He let his cornflower blue eyes drift closed, trying to think through everything.
So much had changed in the space of a few hours tonight. He and Frodo had professed their love for each other and were now together… or were they? Merry wasn’t sure. With so much still left unsaid, Merry was afraid to think of where they stood. A part of him wanted to tell Frodo everything and pray he’d accept it. A part of him wanted so to hear Frodo tell him that he’d protect him, that he loved him and their unborn baby, and that everything would be perfect. But, Merry tried to be realistic. Perfection may well be unattainable in this new relationship he shared with Frodo. Indeed, they could go down in flames, as it were.
Merry hated to think like that, knew he’d work himself into depression under the weight of such thoughts, but he couldn’t help it. He tended to think in worst case scenarios, and in his mind, their relationship could go one of two ways. Either they would work through it all and raise their child together happily, or Frodo would abandon him to tend to the child on his own, and he’d eventually die of a broken heart. Of course as soon as he thought this, other fears began to surface. What if the pregnancy itself killed him? It had been known to happen before with women. Surely it was a possibility with him. After all, his body wasn’t truly made to handle such a burden. Sure, genetics had made it possible for him to conceive, but could his slender form truly protect and nurture another life? And the thought of the birth itself terrified him. He knew he couldn’t do this alone.
He’d been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard Frodo calling his name, or even realized he had been asked a question. Finally, Frodo gave up calling him, and walked over to him instead. He placed his hand gently on Merry’s shoulder, hoping not to startle him, but Merry gave an undignified yelp despite Frodo’s attempt at caution. He flinched away from Frodo, before seeming to come back to himself. Sighing, he hung his head, managing a soft apology.
“I’m sorry… I don’t know why I’m so jumpy…”
But, that was a lie. He knew very well why he felt so nervous. There was so much he had to say, and he believed Frodo would turn him away as soon as he had told him the whole truth. He looked up at Frodo then, seeming to study him, searching his eyes. They shared a moment of silence, locking gazes and both lost in thought for a time. Finally, Frodo shook his head, snapping out of it. He walked back towards the pantry he had been perusing, before remembering what he had meant to ask in the first place.
“What would you like me to make? You need to eat, Merry. I know better than to make anything too rich, with your stomach being upset, but beyond that, I can make just about anything you would like.”
Frodo watched as Merry seemed to relax, and then as he thought for a long moment. Finally with a sigh, he shrugged, replying quietly,
“Anything you wish is fine with me… I’m not sure that I can eat much right now anyway… But, I think I should try at least. If not for me then.. for…” He trailed off for a moment, catching his near slip, and quickly tried to think of something to say to cover it up. Unable to think up anything clever, he chose instead to speak from the heart.
“Thank you, Frodo… for everything. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me that you’re taking care of me… I don’t mean to be a nuisance though… if at any time you want me to leave, only say so… I’ll go home and I won’t bother you again. I promise…”
He hadn’t meant to say all that, and now hung his head again. Tears stung his eyes, and he held them back, cursing himself. He had never been like this. He’d never been so submissive or felt so weak. If anything, Merry was known for being quite intelligent, sarcastic, and fun loving. Now, he felt he didn’t live up to his reputation. He felt as if he was worthless, if only for this moment. He felt he didn’t deserve Frodo, and that he was nothing more than trouble. He blamed himself for their night of drunken bliss. He should have said no, he knew. He should have been strong enough to spare them both the uncertainty and regret that they would likely go through in the future, that was there even now.
Frodo stood silent for a long moment, staring in slack-jawed awe at Merry. What he had said seemed to cut to the bone, and Frodo wasn’t at all sure how to take it. Had he not made himself clear? Did Merry not see how much Frodo loved him? For years, Frodo had prayed he’d find someone to love, and someone whom he could share his life with, but he had never imagined that he’d find that one person so close to home.
He had known Merry, Pip, and Sam for many years, it seemed. Yet, he had never felt a love interest in Sam. They were close friends and Frodo trusted him implicitly, but he couldn’t see himself with Sam, despite their friendship, or maybe because of it. And while he found Pip to be adorable at times, he felt that what they had could never go beyond friendship. Now, Pip was with Legolas, and seemed to be very happy with him, even though very few knew of their relationship at this point. But with Merry, Frodo’s feelings had always run deep. While it had been only friendship at first, it quickly developed into love, and finally into deep devotion.
Frodo had always been too afraid to say anything to Merry about his feelings. Fear of rejection ran deep in his heart, and he never found the right moment to even attempt to confront his secret love. Then, he was presented with the chance to essentially save the world. Feeling that no one else could manage it, and that at least he could leave this world with some dignity this way, he took up the responsibility himself.
He had been shocked when so many had joined him, especially since Merry was amongst them. His heart had leapt up into his throat over that fact. His love would be in harm’s way, and he couldn’t help feeling he may not be able to save him if it came to life or death. Towards the end of the long journey, Frodo had given up. He gave into his despair, and he had felt sure he’d never see Merry or the others again. Fortunately, they had been able to destroy the cursed ring, but it had cost them all. Lives were lost and cities had been destroyed. Frodo lost one finger to the vile creature Gollum had become, and had nearly died more than once through the journey. Worst of all, his precious illusions and innocence had been lost. He wasn’t the same hobbit he’d been before the many trials of the war, but he couldn’t regret it. He had, after all, succeeded in his undertaking, despite the costs.
They had all been able to return home safely, and he finally had begun to work up to telling Merry of his feelings. Then, they had shared that night together, and while it had been encouraged, if not brought on, by alcohol, it had meant more to Frodo than any night before or since. He had fallen head over heels in love with Merry, and was now beyond help. Nothing could ever change his feelings for his lover.
So, he had been hurt and confused when Merry spoke of himself as a nuisance, a pest. He thought he had made himself clear to the younger hobbit. Sighing, he set aside the jar he had plucked from the pantry, and slowly made his way over to sit beside Merry at the table. Merry turned frightened, tearful eyes towards him, and Frodo quickly drew him into his arms. Merry stiffened, meaning to pull away, but found he couldn’t do it. Whether he cared to admit to it or not, he needed Frodo. He knew he would end up crying again if he let Frodo hold him, knew he’d tell all, but he didn’t have the strength to pull away.
So before long, he was crying softly against his love’s chest, managing to tell Frodo everything, though his voice was weak and soft, and his soft sobs choked him time and again.
“Please… don’t laugh, or turn me away… but I think… I know… I’m pregnant, Frodo…. I know it sounds… it sounds crazy, but it’s true… and I’m so scared… I can’t do this alone. I can’t! And you don’t… need all this trouble… You don’t need… us. And I’m so sorry. I should have stopped it…. I should have realized… But I love you….. so much, and I needed… to feel you that night. I wish we could be together… like that every night… I just want to be with you… but if anyone ever finds out… Frodo, they see you as a hero… I’ll ruin it all… I should go… I’m so sorry…”
He was sobbing hard now, barely able to take a breath, and he tried to straighten up and pull away. Though Frodo was shocked and lost in thought, he didn’t allow his love to pull away. Instead, he drew him yet closer to him, making soothing sounds and gently rubbing his back. Merry fought him for all of a second before limply allowing himself to be embraced once more. He sighed deeply, resting his head against Frodo’s chest and fearing that this was the calm before the storm.
Frodo sat silent, contemplating Merry’s words and frowning deeply, unseen to the smaller hobbit held in the warm sanctuary of his arms. ‘Pregnant?’ his mind whispered, he half wanting to laugh at the seeming ridiculousness of it. Merry was male. It was impossible… wasn’t it? And yet, he was starting to believe. It fit, he knew. The symptoms made sense. The illness was simple morning sickness, the mood swings were indicative of Merry’s condition, and Merry’s nearly fainting earlier spoke of the exhaustion one might expect as his body adjusted to the many changes.
He knew it was true, had accepted it rather quickly, but he didn’t know what to say. There were so many thoughts he wanted to speak aloud, and yet Merry seemed fragile just now, shivering slightly against him. Finally, Frodo managed to speak softly to Merry words that touched his heart and soothed his panicked mind.
“I’ll never turn you away, my love. Never. I am yours, Merry, through and through. Nothing anyone could ever say or do will change that. I love you with all my heart, and you don’t have to be alone. I will be by your side every step of the way. I promise. I believe you, Merry. I won’t laugh. I know you wouldn’t lie over such a thing… As for what everyone else thinks… they see us both as heroes, love. They would want us to be happy, even if they can’t understand it, or accept that you can bear children. But, we won’t be able to hide it… How is it so, anyway?”
He looked down to Merry with a soft smile then, gently kissing his cheek and trying to reassure him. The question could have waited, Frodo knew, but he thought it would lighten the mood some, and that it would do Merry well to talk about it. Above all else, he was curious. It was uncommon enough that he had never encountered it, even in all his readings. Still, he knew of a way to be certain that Merry was in fact pregnant and he would mention it to him in time. It was a simple enough test, but they’d need at least another week, or it would be inconclusive.
Merry frowned, trying to think of the best way to explain, and having trouble finding the words. The truth of it was that he wasn’t sure. He’d always just been told it was in his family line, something in their blood that made it so. The terms for genetics didn’t exist at this point, but healers knew enough to know that certain traits could be carried in the blood and passed from mother or father to child. Merry knew the ability had been passed to him from his own father, but he couldn’t say with whom the ability had started. Their family was a rather broken one, and their history was lost amidst the shadows and anger that came from severed relations. Sighing deeply, he finally tried to explain to his beloved as well as he could.
“It’s carried in my blood. My father always told me I couldn’t lay with another male. He can conceive too… He never has though. His interests don’t run to men. Actually, he hasn’t even looked at anyone since my mother passed away. But, he favors women… Oh forgive me. I tend to get off track I guess…. It’s been in my family for years. Occasionally, it skips over some of us, but most males in my family can get pregnant… It’s never really been a problem hiding it. As far as I know, it’s only happened twice. With the first, both babe and father were lost in the birth… With the second, the babe’s sire insisted on hiding. They left their home and managed to hide in a woods some distance away… Unfortunately, from what I heard, that child was lost as well. The father lived, but the babe was born dead. Any son born to me… well to us, will probably be able to conceive as well… I’m not a freak, but people will see me that way. We have to find a way to hide, Frodo… if anyone finds out... I think they may try to harm us, or the babe…”
Frodo had remained silent while Merry was speaking, but emotions had played over his fair features; interest, surprise, fear, and love. While Merry understood the other three, he wasn’t sure where the fear stemmed from. It had shone in Frodo’s bright eyes before Merry had suggested that people would try to harm them or their baby. Tilting his head slightly, he called quietly,
“Frodo? What is it that frightens you so?”
Frodo blinked at him, as if he hadn’t heard him, too lost in the feeling of dread creeping over him. He was terrified that he would lose Merry, or that the baby would be born dead or lost in birth, like the two Merry spoke of. He felt guilty that he had taken him that night, and that they now had a child on the way that might not survive, or worse, that might end up killing his beloved Merry. Finally, he dared to speak up, voice merely a cracking whisper.
“I couldn’t bear to lose you...”
Realization dawned on Merry then, and he shook his head, kissing Frodo’s ever soft lips almost desperately. When he finally broke the kiss, they were both rather breathless and flushed, though it hadn’t been a lustful kiss. Merry sat back some then, frowning thoughtfully at him, before saying softly,
“You won’t lose me… no matter what happens; I’ll always be with you. There’s nothing that can take me from you now that we’ve found each other. I am yours, Frodo… if… if something happens and the baby dies… I’ll fight to stay. I promise you that… I won’t lie to you. It’ll break my heart… I’m almost completely certain that there is a child. I already love him… or her… I don’t want anything to go wrong. I don’t want to lose our baby… But we can’t control fate. I will be as careful as I can be, and take care of myself, but in the end, we can’t control our own fate. The stars guide us, my love… But no matter what should happen, I won’t leave you. Even if only in spirit, I’ll always be with you.”
Frodo prayed that Merry could stay with him in body, though he cherished all of him, spirit and soul included. He desperately didn’t want to lose him, and though he found some comfort in the fact that his love would always be with him in some way or form, he wanted him here with him in body more than anything else. He wanted to be able to hold him, to cuddle him, to kiss him, to…
He moved to capture his lips in a near bruising kiss, but stopped short at the sound of the front door being thrown open, and a drunken voice calling,
“Frodo?... Why’d you leave the party? Frodo!?”
There was a small crash, followed by muttered curses, and finally another, slightly more sober voice calling out,
“Pip! Get back here! You don’t just barge into other people’s homes…. What’d you do to your shirt…..Pippin!”
Laughter followed, and Frodo sighed.
“Pip and Legolas,” he whispered, standing and ushering Merry back into the bedroom, silently bidding him to remain hidden. Legolas’ elven magic and piercing gaze may see too much, and they truly weren’t ready for anyone else to know yet, if ever. Wandering out into the front entryway, his blue eyes went a bit wide at the sight before him. Shaking his head, he sighed. ‘Pippin, you twit…’ It was going to be a long night.
TBC…
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