Down by the water

Author: Az
Email; Az.ombie@gmail.com
Homepage: http://www.nad-no-ennas.net
AN: with all the recent fanon discussion I might add here just to be on the safe side, that I borrowed Bone Fauna's binding ceremony theory. Not for any other reason than I love it.
Betaed by; Lisbet
Rating: R
Disclaimer: none of these characters are mine, sad but true.
Summary: Elrond tries to play cupid, but is he really doing a good job? And a late night conversation in the kitchen reveals things
Warnings: angst (implied violence)
Pairings: Glorfindel/Erestor Erestor/Arato-implied.

_____________________________

Solitary brother
Is there still a part of you that wants to live
Solitary sister
Is there still a part of you that wants to give
Solitary brother
Is there still a part of you that wants to live
Solitary sister
Is there still a part of you that wants to give
If we try
And live our lives
The way we wanna be
There's no other love, there's no other love, there's no other love
there is no other love no other love like ours

Seal ­ Killer
_____________________

Chapter 2 ­ It's the loneliness that's the killer

He didn't quite know why Elrond had summoned him to his office. This
was most unorthodox, and on the day before the midsummer feast?
Elrond had to know that the entire household was turned upside down, and
that it was hard for Erestor to find a moment to leave his chores.

He knocked the huge oak door, and upon hearing Elrond asking him to
enter, he opened the door with its squeaking hinges. "My lord?" Erestor
asked, looking very confused. "You wanted to see me?"

"Ah, yes Erestor!" Elrond cooed and clapped his hands together,
rubbing the palms together, unnerving Erestor. "Please
sit," the lord of Rivendell said, gesturing towards a chair.

The dark clad advisor promptly sat on the wooden chair assigned to
him, and looked up at his lord. "My lord Elrond, I do not understand
what can be this urgent?"

"Be at ease, Erestor," Elrond said with a smile and poured himself some
more hot tea. He offered Erestor some with a gesture, but the advisor
shook his head. "Very well," Elrond sighed, "What I wanted to discuss
with you is a somewhat delicate matter."

Erestor opened and closed his mouth in surprise. Elladan! It
had to be Elladan! He had invited the elf to dance with him ­ Ai, he
had known he should not have done so! "My lord," Erestor said quickly,
wringing his hands in his lap as they started to sweat, "I assure you that I
did not imply anything…" his voice became a whisper, "improper."

Elrond raised a brow and just looked at Erestor, who feverishly explained
about the invitation.

"its the first I heard of Elladan's plans for the feast, my friend," Elrond said
with a quizzical smile.

"Oh," Erestor just breathed. "Now you do, my lord," he said with a
strained smile, not knowing if he should feel at ease or more tense.

"No, what I wanted to discuss with you was our golden Balrog slayer,"
Elrond said, leaning slightly in over the desk.

"Glorfindel?" Erestor exclaimed softly. "Why on Arda would you want to
discuss his lordship with me?"

"Because it has something to do with you, my friend," Elrond said with
a sly smile, putting emphasis on friend. "Surely you must have
noticed, Erestor."

"Noticed 'what'?" Erestor said, raising a perfect, black eyebrow.

"Do not tell me you are that dense when it comes to matters of the
heart, my friend!" Elrond said in a teasing tone.

"What? Glorfindel? No…I…ah…" Erestor's voice trailed off. He 'had'
noticed, but had dismissed the thought, and so he kept it to his own
nightly fantasies.

"Come now, Erestor, you were the first one to warn us of the impending
inflation in the value of the mortals’ gold, the first one to foresee the
devastating draught's effect on the Mirkwood trading routes… now do not
tell me you have not noticed that Glorfindel is trying to befriend you."

"My lord" Erestor tried. "I cannot see what these things have in
common, and I assure you that I have not had, and will never have any
lover’s interest in Lord Glorfindel."

Elrond got up from his chair, and started to pace the floor. "Forgive
me, my friend. I am aware that it is not my place to speak of these
things," he stopped right in front of the baffled advisor, "but I do
believe it is time for you to move on."

Erestor looked away from the ruler of Rivendell. "I am still bound.
There is no need for this discussion at all, my friend," he said,
sounding chillier than he had intended. But Elrond knew this, and had
even known his mate, how could be possibly be suggesting what he did?

"I know, Erestor," Elrond said and reached out to grip the desk, leaning
against it on his left arm, looking at Erestor in the chair, "but he is
no longer alive, and you are free from your vows."

"You don't know that!" Erestor barked, not even thinking of how he was
sounding. "His body was never recovered from the battlefield! I had an
empty pyre for my mate. You were there, and you know this to be true!
I am still bound to him."

"Calm down Erestor, It was never my intention to slight your loss,"
Elrond said in a soothing voice. "All I was saying was that Arato has
been considered dead and gone for decades, and yet you have not taken
another lover." Elrond lay his free hand on Erestor's shoulder. "Your
period of mourning is long done."

Erestor turned his hand, tracing the fine scar in his palm with his
fingertips. "I made an oath, I bound myself to him, until the death," he
smiled to himself, "be it his death or mine."

"Dear, dear Erestor," Elrond said softly, squeezing his cherished
advisor’s shoulder gently, "no one expects you to uphold such an oath
when your mate is no longer on Arda."

"I made an oath, Elrond," Erestor said in a small voice.

"Erestor, you are dear friend of mine, you stood by my side when my
brother died, and yet again when my wife decided to leave. I only ask
you this, do you not see the attraction in Glorfindel's eyes?"

"Aye," Erestor whispered, still mesmerised by his own scar.

Elrond knew his battle was lost, but he continued on relentlessly. "Do you
not see his body language yearning for your presence?" he asked.

Erestor's mouth became a fine line, as he bit back, "You have not taken a
mate since Lady Celebrian left either."

"True," Elrond confessed.

"Now if you will forgive me, my lord Elrond, I must attend to my duties,"
Erestor said with a stern voice, and stood up from his chair.

"But of course, my friend," Elrond said, holding back an annoyed groan.
Why did he not get trough to his stubborn advisor? He did not have to
be alone anymore, company was there, right under his nose, and he saw
that and yet refused to act upon it. Elrond looked after Erestor as he
walked out of the study with long angry strides. He knew how
lonely he must be feeling inside, and didn't understand why he lashed out
at anyone who tried to get close to him.

Erestor did not return to his duties; instead, he retreated to the library and
closed the door. He sat down on the large divan located in the middle
of the room, and sighed. Why had Elrond asked him something like
'that'? Truth be told, he had noticed Glorfindel's subtle advances.
But he just had to decline; he just 'had' to. Yes, it was true, just as he
had told Elrond, he was still bound, but Arato was not just anyone, he
was Glorfindel's elder brother! Elrond knew this, and yet
he had urged him to accept the golden-haired elf. Erestor closed his eyes
and remembered the damned bonding ceremony. He remembered he had
stood there next to Arato. Back then his husband to come had been a stunning
elf, beautiful and valiant. And Glorfindel? Had he even been there?
Yes, yes he had. Standing next to Ecthelion, he had been there.
Had he harboured those feelings for Erestor back then? He knew that
Ecthelion had been saddened that he was never able to catch the golden lord’s
attention long enough to speak words of love. By Eru! What if it had always
been there and he had never noticed?

The sun had set before Glorfindel came into the library, searching for
Erestor. He smiled when he saw the advisor sleeping on the divan. He
squatted down next to the raven-haired beauty and shook his shoulder
lightly. "Erestor?" he whispered, "you should not sleep here."

Erestor slowly opened his eyes and looked up at those same merry blue
eyes that haunted his dreams at night. Though now they were filled
with worry. "Oh," Erestor murmured and slowly move to sit up. "I was not
aware that I had fallen asleep here."

"You look tired, my friend," Glorfindel said softly, as he sat down next
to the dark-haired advisor. "Did you not sleep well last night?" he
asked. But upon seeing the advisor’s somewhat annoyed expression, he
quickly added, "Forgive me, I did not intend to pry. It is really none
of my business."

Erestor sighed and shook his head, running a hand over his sleep
tussled hair. "No, you are right, I did not sleep well last night."

Glorfindel smiled gently. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "I take it that
you are, since you missed supper."
"I missed supper? Oh my," the raven-haired elf whispered.

"I didn't get supper either, and I know the kitchen maid set some
aside for me, and for all I know for you as well. So will you join me
for a late supper, my friend?" the golden elf said with a warm smile.
He looked at Erestor and his disarranged state, and he thought it was
the most erotic sight he had seen in a long time. "Come on, say yes."

Erestor nodded slowly and rose to his feet. "Yes, let us hope she put a lot
a side, for I am hungry like a wolf," he said with an embarrassed smile.

And food in abundance there was, more than enough for the both of
them. Glorfindel had had this brilliant idea of bringing a bottle of
Elrond’s wine for them to share. And Erestor couldn't help but feel
that sitting here in the kitchen, eating, joking and drinking wine in the
dim light from a candelabra, took thousands of years from them both.
This reminded him of home, and had Ecthelion come barging through the
door, he would not have been surprised one bit.

"Erestor?" Glorfindel said with a strangely serious tone, "did you just get
this deja-vu feeling as well? Like we did this before?"

Erestor smiled and nodded. "And we have, my friend," he finally
whispered, before taking a large gulp of his wine.

Glorfindel tilted his head somewhat and looked at Erestor. "Do you… Do
you really think he is dead?" he suddenly asked.

The dark-haired elf paled at these words, but after a time he
nodded. "Yes, I think he is dead," he finally whispered, somewhat afraid
that uttering his name would bring upon them an angry ghost from the
past.

"Erestor?" Glorfindel whispered back, "Is this perhaps the reason that
we never became friends again?" The blond blushed and looked away,
very unlike his character. "Like we used to be, remember?"

"Yes, I remember," Erestor said softly as he reached to fill their
glasses yet again, having the feeling that this discussion needed wine.
"And perhaps it is, I do not know. Maybe we just got older."

Glorfindel nodded and took a sip of the clear fluid. "Perhaps," he repeated.

"Do you remember when we did this the last time?" Erestor suddenly
said. "I do not know how much of your memory is intact from your time
in Mandos."
"Yes, I remember," Glorfindel whispered and smiled. "It was a
thunderstorm, and Arato was out on patrol, when Ecthelion's personal
guard came here and told us that there had been some obstacle on the
road, what and why he didn't know. And we sat in the kitchen having
honey tea and bread with raisins in it, like two frightened maidens."

"Exactly!" Erestor chuckled.

"But they were all right," Glorfindel said, "and he returned home at daybreak."

"That he did," Erestor murmured, looking at Glorfindel to see if he also
remembered that Erestor had been dragged out of the kitchen by his
hair, and no one had reacted. Erestor remembered that Glorfindel had
just turned his head and looked away. But if the golden-haired elf remembered,
he didn't show it.

Glorfindel wanted to ask Erestor if he perhaps held any resentment
that he had not been able to keep his brother safe under that last
battle they had fought together. He wanted to ask if it was because
Arato was lost there in the piles of dead bodies, and that was the
reason that they had never become as close again as they used to be.
But he didn't ask, instead he raised his glass to a toast "to my brother,
the valiant," he said smiling.

A taste of bile rose in Erestor's mouth, but he kept it back and smiled.
"To Arato," he said and toasted with Glorfindel.

When the wine was gone, and they both felt a warm drowsy buzz, from
both the food and the wine, Erestor rose from the table. "My friend, we
have a long day tomorrow, and I need rest. I suggest you do the same."

The golden elf nodded and stood up also. "Dance with me tomorrow,"
Glorfindel said and smiled a brilliant self-assured smile, fueled by
the nice conversation and alcohol.

"Say what?" Erestor said and turned to look at Glorfindel's goofy grin.
"I could have sworn you asked me to dance."

"And I did, tomorrow." Glorfindel said. "Will you?"

Erestor shook his head, amused ."I promised a dance to our little
princeling Elladan too.

"But you don't have to dance with him the whole night," Glorfindel said
in a slightly whining tone, that annoyed even himself.

"No, that I don't," the dark beauty said. "Yes, I shall dance a dance with
you, my friend, though I am afraid I am not dancer anymore."

"Don't worry about it, it is like riding a horse," Glorfindel grinned.

"Very well then, I promise to step on your toes, come tomorrow evening,"
Erestor said with a smile.

"Wonderful!"

And with that Erestor let the heavy wooden door slam shut behind him.

-tbc-