Haldir's First Love

Title: Haldir’s First Love
Type: FPHet
Author: Lori Anne
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Haldir/OFC, Rúmil/OFC, Orophin/OFC
Warning: OFC describes her rape in ch. 6 & graphic sexual content in several chapters.
Disclaimer: Tolkien is the master, not me! I own nothing except my OFC’s and one lowly OMC. I have made nothing nor do I intend to make anything from this story except one or two Haldir fans sated.
Beta: Alex
Timeline: Before, during and After the fellowship (which is inconsequential to this story)
Notes: Enjoy!!!!
Summary: After a torturous week, Lorinaura finds comfort in the arms of her childhood love.


Haldir's First Love


Chapter 2 Moving day


"Aura!" they yelled in unison. "Aura, are you up there?"

"Yes," she replied.

"What are you doing up there, sister?" Orophin asked, giggling just a little.

With a great sigh and a touch of sarcasm to her voice, she answered, "What do you think I am doing, Phinny?" She knew he hated the nickname. She could only hope he hated it as much as she did when he called her Aura, although she would never give him the satisfaction of saying anything. That would only fuel a great fire.

"Perhaps you are impaling forest creatures in that nest of yours," gibed Rúmil.

"Yes, that is exactly what I am doing, because I am crazed and just plain mean." She grinned sardonically. "You two may be next."

"Rúmil! Orophin! Can you not just leave Lorinaura alone? She is transcribing things for Galadriel and it is important she have quiet!" boomed Haldir as he came upon them. "Honestly, I could hear you yelling for her from the city gates. Besides, you have to realize by now, she comes here solely to get away from the two of you."

"But..." Rúmil began.

"No buts. Lord Celeborn has requested your presence in his library." His left eyebrow rose. "It has something to do with honey on one of his ancient scrolls. Honestly, one would never know either of you were nearly five hundred years old."

Lorinaura leaned over the edge of her talan, surprised to see the two younger ellonin looking quite frightened and could not help giggling a little. She stifled it immediately, yet not quickly enough. All three brothers heard and looked up at her. 'Great,' she thought sitting back once more, 'that little slip will probably get me tossed into the Anduin.' Then she giggled again.

"Go on, he is waiting," Haldir said sternly. "And the Lady will not be there to aid you this time."

They stomped off, making as much noise as Orcs.

"Thank you, Haldir," she said gratefully, leaning over the talan a little more to see him. "I have never understood why they insist upon doing that."

"Doing what, little sister?" he looked up to her, his face innocently poised, but his eyes very wicked.

"You know perfectly well of what I speak. They have been doing it for just about all of those five hundred years you mentioned. You'd think they would tire of it," she said, a little more pouty than intended and then threw an apple at his head. "And I am not your sister!"

As he walked back up the trail leading to Caras Galadhon, he ate the apple she threw at him and could not help laughing a little. His brothers had been nothing but oafs to her and he had to admit, even he, at times, thought it was funny to join them. However, he had been very nice to her since he heard her speaking with Galadriel, just over a week ago. Well, the Lady was speaking, Lorinaura was crying. He could handle seeing her angry enough to spit, yet, to know he had done something to make her cry like that, had hurt him deeper than he cared to admit. So, for now, he would keep her safe from the constant torment, even if he was getting food hurled at him.

She was the sister they never had and overall, she had treated them as if they were her brothers. She had always been there for them. Him especially. Anytime he needed anything, she was glad to help him. He felt a little guilty for all the times she had needed help from him and he only joined in with Rúmil and Orophin to make her miserable. However, there would be no more of that. Now, since he was officially an adult, he must start acting like one. Besides, he could not stand to see her crying again.

She had loved him since he came to live with Galadriel and Celeborn. She was there first, only because her parents left for Valinor before his. Galadriel graciously offered to look after her in their absence. When their parents left, she, at first, felt sorry for them. Haldir was much older than his brothers were and seemed to be the only one to feel a great loss. Orophin and Rúmil went about business as usual, their playfulness not subdued by something as trite as not seeing their parents for thousands of years. Haldir, though he seemed rather stoic and aloof about the whole affair, had cried. She heard him in his room one day, not wailing, but muffling it to more of a whimper in his pillow. Though she was little more than an elfling, she fell in love with him on that day.

He was smaller than she was then, not having had his growth spurt yet, and when she went into his room, he told her to go away. Finally, when he saw her still standing by his bed, he looked up at her and saw she was crying, too. "I miss them," he said to her. Even then, he was concise. It broke her heart to see him so distraught and though he was her elder by more than a few years, she placed her hand on his cheek, comforting him.

"I know," she said simply, wiping his tears on the hem of her dress as Galadriel had done for her years before. "This will not bring them back. If it did, mine would be here with me. But Haldir, we will see them again." He had nodded to her and stopped sniffling soon after. On that day, if she were told he would join his brothers on their plight to irritate her into insanity, she would have thought them mad.

To this day, she never knew when he was going to turn on her, exacting some sort of unprovoked revenge. One day he was nice and they would walk in the gardens, talking about their lessons or people they ran into as they wondered the city; best of friends. The next day, he would use things she told him against her, though he was always kind enough to say his rude little remarks under his breath so his younger siblings could not hear. She had to be thankful, for at least she knew she could trust him. And he knew the same of her.

She looked back to her books as he turned to go and when he was nearing the gate, she felt it safe to glance his way. His gait was so self-assured, as if he knew exactly what he was destined to do. Just seeing him walk sometimes made her young heart skip a beat. He was so much more graceful and agile than either of his brothers. He did not know it, but sometimes she went to the practicing fields to watch him. He was very good at both archery and sword fighting and she just loved to watch him move. He was always deliberate and so purposeful.

One particularly hot day last week, she went to the fields to watch him train and he took off his tunic when the sun began to crest. Since then, the thought of his sublime broad chest has kept her very warm at night. If he had looked over his shoulder only a little, he would have seen her standing in utter awe of him; eyes wide, and mouth agape. Much as she was now, actually.

She smiled as she saw him eating the thrown apple. She knew he would catch it. Quick reflexes were but one of his many talents. She had not discussed it with him yet, but she was going to ask The Lord and Lady if they would mind her moving into her own home. Perhaps then Haldir would think her more than just his little elfling sister. It was well past time for her to have her own home anyway. All the other ellethin her age moved into their own abodes years ago. The only reason she remained with her guardians was Haldir. She wanted to be near him, even though he was exasperating at times. However, when her parents left, Galadriel said absence made the heart grow fonder. Perhaps this would be true for him, as well.


Haldir turned to look back at the talan Lorinaura loved so dearly and saw her head toward the book sitting in her lap, but her eyes were on him. He winked at her and she looked back to her book, pretending not to notice, but her face was very red. He proceeded through the gates, his eyebrows raised in thought. 'Hmm, wonder what that was all about.'


"Oh, honestly! Why does that happen?" she muttered to herself, feeling her face as hot as if it were with fever. "Just like you have never seen him before. You could have just smiled back, you know!" Chancing one more quick look, she smiled, seeing him walk through the gates and out of sight. "But he did wink. The haughty elf never winks."

**********

The hour was late by the time she decided to walk back to her room. To her surprise, someone waited for her just inside the gates. "Mae Govannen, Lorinaura. I thought I might have a word with you, if you would be willing to let me escort you home."

"Certainly, Mendolir. Which word would you have?" she asked with a smile.

The dark haired elf grinned from ear to ear, leading her up the long staircase to the Lord and Lady's home. "Why do you let those brothers of yours ruffle you so? Do you not know they do it only because you let them?"

"So I have been told. I have tried ignoring them and it only makes them more determined," she said honestly and then sighed slightly. "All in all, I love them. That is why I let them torment me, but they are not my brothers."

"I see," he said stopping her to look into her eyes. "Well, they are very fortunate to have your love, regardless."

"I wish you would tell them that."

"Perhaps I will...some day," he said playfully and then kissed her lightly on the cheek making her blush.

She rolled her eyes and said, "Walk me home, Mendolir. My guardians will be worried."

"Yes, my lady. But know this..." His voice and face suddenly grew very serious. "I will keep trying to win you over."

"And perhaps you will...some day."

He began to laugh, making her laugh too. So much so, they both had a hard time walking the rest of the stairs. If it had not been for Celeborn standing outside, she may have had to have a very awkward moment with Mendolir. He was forever trying to kiss her or hold her hand. The attention was nice, but it came from the wrong person and was just not the same. Besides, he was always putting Haldir, Orophin and Rúmil down. It was just not nice and though sometimes they really did deserve to be throttled, they deserved it to come only from her.

"My Lord," greeted Mendolir with a great bow.

"Thank you for walking Lorinaura home." Celeborn smiled, hugging her.

"It was most definitely my pleasure." Winking at her, he headed back down the stairs.

'Now there is an elf, who winks a lot,' she thought and as Celeborn was loosening her from his hug, she said, "Celeborn, I would like to speak to you about something."

"What is it, child?"

"Well, you know I have been of age for some time now and as much as I have enjoyed living here and learning from you and Galadriel, I was wondering if perhaps you thought it about time I had a home of my own."

"You wish to leave us?"

"Not at all, you have been a father to me as far back as I can think. I barely remember my Adar. I will never truly leave you. I only wish to have a home of my own; one that is my responsibility."

"I think it is wonderful you are so independent, though I wonder if your motives are only to get away from your brothers."

"They are not my brothers, my lord," she corrected, "and if they were, I would most likely have disowned them by now."

He laughed at the comment. "I know you do not really mean that, but I am one step ahead of you, nonetheless. Galadriel and I anticipated this and had your parents' house readied for your arrival."

"You did? When were you going to kick me out?"

"Only when you requested to be kicked, my dear." He leaned to her ear and spoke in a very faint whisper. "You should tell Haldir that you are leaving the house. I believe he will be greatly saddened."

"Good," she admitted. "Then I shall go right now."


She knocked on the door to his room and stood waiting for him to tell her to enter. Instead what Lorinaura heard was, "Just a minute!" So, she waited, hearing the ruffling of fabric and glass shattering.

"Are you all right?" she yelled through the closed door.

"You may enter," Haldir said, rather arrogantly.

"Well, that is awfully nice...of...you." Her voice trailed off with each word and knew her face must have held a look of utter shock, for she had not expected what she saw.

Haldir was picking up a smashed wine goblet from his floor, muttering something nasty under his breath and a very lovely young elleth sat on his bed. Her gown was quite wrinkled and Haldir was shirtless. "Oh, I didn't know you had company. I am sorry to intrude." Her heart was sinking fast and all she wanted to do was make a quick exit and shut the door, but found she could not move. However, with some effort, she did manage to return her features to normal before he looked up from the mess.

"Little sister, you are never an intrusion. What do you need?"

"I...I wanted to tell you that I am leaving."

"What do you mean, leaving?" he snorted. "When will you return?"

"I am moving into my own home," she said, looking over to the she-elf once again with great interest. "I don't believe we have met. I am Lorinaura."

The elleth stood and put her right hand to her chest. "I am Gwinnethë. I have seen you in the bathhouse a time or two, but we were never formally introduced. Haldir has told me much about you."

"Really? May I assume it is all good?"

"You may. He has nothing but the best to say about his little sister," Gwinnethë said with the best of intentions.

"I see." Two words: little sister. The two most evil and vile words she had ever heard coming from another elleth. Obviously, he truly did think of her as his sister, though she had tried for hundreds of years to change that. Her heart was breaking and she really just wanted to go, hopefully with some grace.

"Why are you moving? Have Orophin and Rúmil done something?" he asked and then before she could answer he said, "I have told them not to pester you anymore. I will show them what it feels like to be bullied." He moved to walk past her and she quickly placed her hand upon his chest to stop him. His breath caught, as did hers.

"Haldir, they have done nothing, but I do appreciate the sentiment." Aware now that she was touching his bared skin, she removed her hand. "I am moving because I am no longer the elfling you first met upon coming here. I am grown and that is what adults do. They move from their parents' homes."

She noticed that though she was looking directly at him, he was staring out the doorway. "But, I do not want you to leave," he stated simply, almost commanding.

He looked like the little, teary-eyed elfling that cried in her arms upon his arrival here, and she fell in love with him all over again. "Haldir, I am moving three houses down the main stairs into my parents' old home. Everything has been arranged." She could see him slipping into a blank stare, so placing her hand on his cheek, she turned his head toward her, forcing him to look into her eyes. "You are invited to visit any time you wish and need not even knock upon entering." Then she did something she had never done before, she kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear, "I want you to remember something for me."

With his eyes now closed, he nodded his head and asked, "What is it?"

"I am not now, nor have I ever been your sister." Then kissed his cheek again, lingering just a little longer than before. Looking to Haldir's guest she said, "It was very nice to meet you, Gwinnethë."

She walked into the hall, pulling his door closed and found Galadriel standing just outside in the hallway. "I trust he was not too saddened by your happy news."

"He told me he did not want me to leave," she mustered before she broke down crying.

"Dry your tears for now and let us walk to your room, child. I know you would not want Gwinnethë or Haldir to see you crying."

"How would they do that, they are in his room with the door shut. Besides, he has told her all about his little sister," she mocked through her sobs.

Galadriel smiled with acute awareness and said, "Dry your tears, come with me and watch."

They walked into her room and Galadriel told her to watch Haldir's door. Poking her head around the corner, she observed, in utter shock, as a fully dressed Haldir ushered out Gwinnethë. He asked her if she could find her way to the main stairs and she smiled at him, saying she could. Gwinnethë moved to kiss his cheek, the same one she kissed only moments before and he placed one hand over it and then quickly moved back into his room and shut the door. The elleth touched the door, obviously hurt and then turned to leave.

"What was that all about?" asked Lorinaura. "Why did she leave?"

"I imagine he did not want her to stay after your visit. Come, sit with me a moment," Galadriel said, sitting on the bed. "When his parents left Caras Galadhon, his only words to them were, "But I don't want you to leave me.""

Now her heart truly was breaking. She had wanted him to miss her. She wanted her leaving to sting, yet still, never thought it really would. "Perhaps I should go to him and try to explain things a little better."

"Nay, let him simmer for the night. He will be up early enough in the morn, as will Rúmil and Orophin. They will be required to help with your move."

"As nice as that is of you, I have several items I would rather not see broken or torn, my lady."

"Let Haldir carry those things, then." They both burst out laughing. Galadriel wrapped her arms around Lorinaura and said, "You are as precious to me as my own daughter. Please remember that our door will always be open to you."

"Only if you will promise to visit me often, as well."

**********

A knock on the door.

"Enter!" came the pompous response.

"Haldir, will you lend me your strength today?" asked Galadriel, thinking he was truly like Celeborn in attitude. It would likely drive the mate he chose as mad as it did her at times.

"Certainly, my lady, what is it you wish me to do for you?" His face was serious and stern as if she had already given him a direct order.

"You know Lorinaura is leaving this house today. Will you help her move some of her more fragile items? I am afraid Rúmil and Orophin will not be up to the task."

"You are probably right," he smirked slightly, "though when I told them she was leaving us, they were rather saddened. Does that surprise you?"

Knowing, full well, he was troubled by the thought, too, she placed her hand on his shoulder. "No, not at all. But she is not going far."

"Yes, I know," he said, hanging his head. "And I have been invited to come as I wish." He looked to Galadriel. "My Lady, I have often thought of moving also, but my brothers are very immature and I don't think they could handle being on their own. They still desperately need Celeborn's and your guidance and I feel I should stay with them."

"Haldir, this is your home for as long as you wish. The same goes for Rúmil and Orophin."

"The three of us are forever in your debt."

"I know you are serious, although it is not necessary." She smiled at him, giving him a feeling she knew something more than what she was saying.

"Yes, I believe it is. I am ready to take the test and wish to be one of your wardens. Actually, I aspire to be the Marchwarden of this fair land, though for now, I will settle for the bottom rung of the ladder."

"I think that is marvelous. Have you spoken to Celeborn about this?" she inquired.

"It is set for midday tomorrow."

"Wonderful, I will be there then." She walked from the room into the hall and then turned back to him. "Well?"

"Well what, my lady?"

"Aren't you coming to help?" she laughed.

"Oh, yes," he said, "tell her I will be along in a moment."

**********

With the last of her things moved into her new home, Orophin, Rúmil, Haldir and Lorinaura sat in the kitchen to rest. She broke out a bottle of wine gifted to her by Celeborn and four glasses. There had been no mishaps, jeering, teasing, hair pulling, threats or gibes all day and Lorinaura could not be happier. This was the first time she was not the brunt of some joke or wager Phinny and Rúmil had going, since she could remember. Haldir had looked as if he were in dire pain since he came to her room earlier to pick up the first of her things. 'Perhaps he can now begin to see me in a different light,' she thought.

He must have threatened his brothers within an inch of their lives. She could think of no other way in which they would behave themselves all day. Actually, she was not sure she truly liked it. Without their teasing, where would she be right now? She certainly would not be as quick-witted or even as agile. As a reward for all their hard work and amiability, she decided to enliven them a little. A bottle of wine later, they were all laughing in each other's arms and having a grand time trying to play cards on the floor in front of a roaring fire.

Orophin would not hush about it until he was given leave to build the fire, though it was not particularly cold outside. He just kept on and on until finally, Haldir leaned to Lorinaura, telling her if she did not want Phin there every second of every day pestering her about it, to go ahead and let him make one. She had enough experience to know he would do just that, too.

As the evening went on, they all seemed to grow very tired. Though none wanted the day to end, the lulling of the wine finally won out and Lorinaura informed them of her need for rest. Haldir walked his brothers to the door, telling them he would be along shortly.

"Sist..." he began and then stopped abruptly when he saw her smirking at him. "Lorinaura, you know I have been spending most of my time training, don't you?"

"Yes, I know. I hear you have gotten to be rather good." She flashed him a great grin. "Some of the other ellethin go so far as to say you are quite fine in your skill and stature."

Blushing a little and shaking his head, he said, "Well, be that as it may, I am to take my test tomorrow and hoped you would come with me."

"Haldir! That is wonderful news! Of course I will be there!" she said, excited he wanted her to come to something meaning so much to him. Before she realized what she was doing, she hugged him. "I am so proud of you!"

"Please do not be proud of me until I pass the trials. I am getting a little...well...um...nervous about them."

"Mellon nin, I am sure you have nothing to be nervous about. You have the keenest eye and the quickest blade of all the Galadhrim. I bet in only a few hundred years, you will be the lead." She looked him over, smiling slightly, walking around him as she dragged her fingers across his chest around to his back and then to his chest again. "Yes, that sounds exactly right. Haldir of Lórien, Head of the Lady's guard. Captain of the Galadhrim. Marchwarden of the Golden Wood." She bit her lower lip playfully and smiled once more.

"I always have loved you, you know," he said, beaming just a little and then kissed her on the cheek, as she did him the night before.

"Of course," she said teasingly, "as any brother would."

"Yes...right. Well, I will leave you in peace, little sister," he said, turning slightly toward the door.

She sighed. "Hal, I have always loved you, too. But you have to know something."

"What is that, Aura?" he said, a little perplexed with her tone.

"You need to remember this always, for it is very important." She placed her hand upon his face and standing with her head tilted slightly, her mouth only a hairsbreadth away from his, eyes locked. She watched as his face turned suddenly grave. She could feel his heart start to pound, saw his misty grey eyes begin to darken slightly and then she smiled, whispering ever so softly, "I am not your sister." Then she backed away from him and opened the door, shooing him out.

He stood outside her door for what seemed like forever, wondering what in Arda just happened. His heart was racing and he felt flushed from head to toe. Never had he experienced anything exactly like that. He probably would not have moved from the spot at all, but Orophin and Rúmil had been waiting for him. They walked back down from just above the next home up the stairs, both wondering what was wrong with their eldest brother.

"What was it you wanted to tell her?" asked Rúmil, approaching Lorinaura's new home again.

"I wanted to ask her if she would come to the training fields tomorrow for my trials," he answered absently.

"Did she say she would come?" asked Orophin.

"Yes and then she said something that struck me as odd." Haldir was still looking at her door as if he could see through it and gain some sort of insight into what had just happened if he stared long enough.

"Well? Are you going to tell us what it was?" Rúmil asked.

"She said she was not my sister."

"What is so odd about that? She says it ten times a day," snorted Rúmil.

"Possibly more," finished Orophin.

Haldir shrugged his shoulders and placed his palm on his cheek where he could still feel the heat from her hand. Standing in deep thought, he said, "This time I believed her."

****************
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Mae Govannen - well met
Mellon nin - my friend
Adar - father