Playing the Game

PLAYING THE GAME

RATING: NC-17
PAIRINGS: Paul Hunter/Elijah Wood, insinuated Matthew Stevens/Dominic Monaghan.
DISCLAIMER: This is *fiction*, i.e. it’s not real. As far as I’m aware, Elijah and Dominic have never even met these guys, let alone anything else. It’s pure fantasy.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: Yes, I know this is pretty far fetched, but hey – a bunny is a bunny! In case you’re wondering, Paul Hunter, Matthew Stevens, Mark Williams and Steve Davis are all snooker players.
Thanks have to go to Laura (my wonderfully mad email friend) for putting this picture in my head in the first place and for helping me to come up with some of the i.
.

As before *these* are thoughts and other italics.


PART TWO – GOING FOR THE SAFETY

“Go and talk to him.”

Paul looked up at his Welsh friend. Three weeks had passed since the incident with Elijah and to most people’s eyes, everything was fine. Mark, however, seemed to know better.

The Welshman continued, “You can’t keep this up, neither can he.”

“Keep what up?” Paul’s voice seemed emotionless. “I’m teaching him the game. It doesn’t need to be any more than that.”

“Which is why he’s sat over that side of the room alone and you’re here pretending you don’t care.”

“What do you mean pretending? I don’t care.” Paul shot a loathing look at the small, dark-haired man who was now staring absently out of the window. “He’s brought this on himself.”

~*PH*~*EW*~

Over by the window, Elijah had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying. He could hear every word of the conversatiakinaking place behind him and it was clear that Paul still hated him. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up the pretence of not caring about the way the blond acted around him, only saying what was strictly necessary to help him learn. Ever since that first week, Paul had kept true to the silent promise that they would never be alone together, which meant that Elijah had no chance to explain.

The American looked up as he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Lookip, hp, he saw a friendly, brown-haired man looking at him. Forcing himself to smile, he said, “Hey Steve.”

Steve looked closely at the pale young man in front of him. He was certain that the actor was fading somehow – over the couple of weeks that he had been helping to teach, Steve had seen the sparkle within Elijah dwindle. Obviously, he knew about the tension between the American and Paul, but until now he hadn’t realised just how deep feelings were running.

The ex-World Champion followed Elijah’s dejected gaze out of the window. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

At the actor’s short answer, Steve grew even more concerned. Dropping all pretence of making small talk, he asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Sure. Why shouldn’t it be?” Elijah couldn’t bring himself to look at the other man. He had to keep pretending that everything was fine.

Steve sighed. “It’s just that you look so tired.”

“Filming started this week.” Well, it wasn’t a lie – the actor really had started filming. The schedule was fairly time-consuming, but Elijah liked that. It meant that he could stop thinking about things…about how he’d messed up.

Steve gently reached for Elijah’s face and tilted it upwards, forcing the younger man to look at him. “It’s more than that though, isn’t it?”

At the genuine concern in the other man’s eyes, Elijah broke down. He could only nod as tears he had been holding back for weeks started to flow down his face. Gentle arms wrapped around him as Steve pulled him closer, trying tofortfort him. Elijah wanted to struggle, to pull away, but all of his energy seemed to have left him.

~*PH*~~*EW*~

“So you’re still maintaining that you don’t care, even though Elijah seems to be suggesting otherwise?”

Mark had also noticed how much the actor had faded and felt truly sorry for him. It was obvious that Elijah cared about the fact that he had upset Paul.

Paul nodded stubbornly. “If he can’t take it, he can always find another teacher. I didn’t want to do it in the first place.”

As the blond said this, Mark caught sight of Steve and Elijah. Shooting a glance at his friend, the Welshman walked over to the window. Paul saw him stand the other side of Elijah and talk to Steve. The two snooker players fell into conversation, but Elijah didn’t even seem aware of this.

Paul tore his gaze away from the trio. *I don’t care! This is entirely his own fault.* He was determined not to get drawn in by the small pang of guilt that was creeping into his mind. If Elijah hadn’t wanted this to happen, then he could have stopped it. But the American had crossed a line and then revealed it all to be untrue. He deserved to suffer.

*Is that what you really think?* a voice in the back of his mind cut in. *Do you really want to see him like this?*

Paul turned his gaze back to the others. The two snooker players had led Elijah to a seat and were now knelt either side of him. The actor now seemed to have stopped crying, but still looked incredibly drained. He seemed to be opening up to the other two – Paul could hear his quiet voice, although he couldn’t make out what was being said.

From somewhere deep within, Paul felt himself begin to thaw. The voice in his mind still spoke to him. *Would he really be this upset if he was out to hurt you?*

Another part of his mind tried to argue back, but there seemed to be no come-back. Paul sighed as the truth hit him – perhaps he was being too hard on Elijah.

~*PH*~~*EW*~

Elijah’s gaze followed Mark as he stood up. “What are you going to do?”

Mark gave the young actor what he hoped was a reassuring “you’ll see” look, before approaching Paul. “I think we should call it a day here. Elijah’s absolutely exhausted.”

Paul looked again at the small figure. The American really did look exhausted, as though he were carrying a great weight on his shoulders. *The weight of guilt* he thought to himself, before the voice reprimanded him. *Guilt that he shouldn’t be carrying.*

Turning back to the Welshman, Paul opened his mouth to speak his consent, but something was stopping him.

Mark looked at him. “Of course, we could make him play on in this state…”

“No.” Paul spoke abruptly. “He can’t carry on.”

Mark forced his friend to make eye contact. “So…the three of us should probably leave then?”

Paul shrugged. “I guess.”

Mark moved a little closer to his friend and muttered, “Alternatively, you could sort things out with him and make things easier for everyone.”

Paul looked at the other man. “How did you know?”

“Know what?”

Paul’s answer was almost in a whisper. “I don’t want him to leave.”

~*PH*~~*EW*~

Elijah watched as Paul and Mark talked. He turned to Steve. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Ssh.” Steve placed a hand on Elijah’s arm. “This isn’t your fault.”

“It is.” Elijah looked down miserably. “I shouldn’t have done it.”

“You were trying to help, so was Matthew.” Steve risked a glance up before tng bng back to Elijah. “Eventually, he’ll see that.”

As he said this, Mark approached them. Kneeling down next to Steve, he whispered, “We should go.”

Steve gave the Welshman a questioning look. “What did you-?”

“I’ll explain when we get out.” Standing up, Mark turned to Paul. “Steve and I have to go. Make sure Elijah gets home alright – or wherever it is he’s calling home at the moment.”

Elijah shot a fearful glance at Steve. The older man gave him a reassuring look. “I think everything’s going to be okay.” As he stood, he turned to Paul. “We can let ourselves out.”

~*PH*~~*EW*~

Silence fell for several minutes after Mark and Steve had left. The two men remaining were sat at opposite sides of the room, each looking expectantly at the other but not wanting to make the first move.

Elijah went back to gazing out of the window. He wondered if he would be able to pull out of the film, if indeed that was what he wanted to do. In different circumstances the young actor would be enjoying the whole experience, but he had managed to mess that one up. Tears welled in his eyes once more as he began to realise that, no matter what happened, a part of the blond man across the room would always hate him.

Paul watched the other man, feeling guiltier as the minutes passed. Mark and Steve had not been the only ones to notice the change in Elijah nor had they been the only ones to care, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise. Sighing, he realised that it was down to him to speak first.

The blond stood and walked up to the dark-haired man. In an uncertain voice, he asked, “Elijah?”

Elijah looked up, hoping that he could hold back his emotion. “I don’t know what to do,” he confessed. “I keep wanting to apologise but that’s never gonna be enough, is it?”

Paul knelt down next to the younger man. Now he was closer, he could see how much colour had drained from Elijah. Even his eyes were not as blue as they should have been. He tried to find something to say, some words that would reassure Elijah and open up communications. But somehow, nothing he could think of seemed enough.

Elijah sighed. ouslously Paul still didn’t want to know. “I’ll go now.”

He moved to stand up but the blond stopped him. “Stay there. We have to talk about this.”

“I’m trying, Paul, but I don’t know what I can say!” For the second time that day, tears began to escape from Elijah’s eyes. “I keep trying to plan out stuff to say to you, but then I come here and you act like you don’t even care. And then I think, well I can’t talk to you if you don’t wanna know, so then I have to act like I don’t care as well. But I can’t do it anymore, Paul. I can’t keep pretending like this.”

Paul bit his lip at this. Seeing Elijah so upset made him feel even worse. But he knew he had to be honest. “What did you expect, Elijah? You hurt me, messing around with me like that.”

“I didn’t mean to.” Elijah’s voice cracked as he spoke. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But surely you knew I’d be upset? It wasn’t exactly how I was planning on finding out.”

“I just wanted to help. You must have been showing some signs of thinking about it or Matthew wouldn’t have done anything.”

Paul sighed. He knew that Elijah had a point. He and Matthew had been friends long enough. Besides, was it really Elijah’s fault if Matthew had started the whole thing?

Elijah looked imploringly at Paul. “I was stupid to get mixed up in all this. Don’t keep being angry with Matthew, he was worried about you. Still is.”

“Why did you agree to it?” Paul didn’t feel ready to think about making up with Matthew just yet. *One thing at a time.*

“Like I said, I just wanted to help.” Elijah looked down. “But then I got here and you were so nice, and…” He trailed off, trying to fully rein in his scattered emotions. “Suddenly I wasn’t doing it because Matthew asked me to. I was doing it because I really like you.”

Elijah’s blunt honesty threw Paul. He stood up and paced a little, trying to process what he’d heard. “So…by the time anything happened…”

“That was all genuine.” Elijah stood up, though his body cried out for rest. “I don’t mess with things like that. I almost didn’t tell you,” he confessed, “but I figured it’d be better if I did.”

Paul risked another gaze into the now almost dull blue eyes. Everything about them suggested that Elijah was telling the truth. *And why shout het he? What would he have to gain from lying?*

Elijah risked taking a step closer. “I should probably go. You probably need to be alone again.”

The actor turned to walk out, but stumbled after a couple of steps. Paul was instantly there to catch him as he fell. “Elijah, are you alright?”

“I just…I…” Elijah felt his emotions scattering again, clouding bra brain from straight thought. He wanted to stand up and walk away, but he couldn’t. His physical strength had clearly gone the same way as his emotional strength. All he could do was allow Paul to hold him and try not to break down again.

Paul gently cradled the younger man, silently cursing himself for causing Elijah to get this bad. He could almost feel the exhaustion radiating from the actor. Looking down, he whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“This isn’t your fault. You had every right to be angry.”

“Angry enough so that you stopped looking after yourself? It’s obvious that you haven’t been sleeping properly.”

“I keep hoping that work will tire me out enough so that I can,” Elijah admitted, “but no matter how worn out I am, my mind won’t let me sleep.”

As he heard these words, Paul realised that there was only one thing he could do. “Elijah…I understand. I realise now that you’re genuine.”

Elijah looked up, trying not to seem too hopeful. “You do?”

Paul nodded. “And…well…if you’d still, then I’d still.”

Elijah’s eyes widened at this. “You mean-”

Paul cut him off with a kiss. “That’s what I mean.”

Elijah finally allowed himself to relax in his companion’s arms. “I was so sure that you’d hate me forever.”

“So was I,” Paul confessed, “but then it wasn’t really you that I hated.”

Elijah smiled a little. “So…does this mean I get my private lessons back?”

Paul returned the smile. “If you want them. But not yet. You need to rest now.”

“I know.” Elijah moved to stand, but Paul’s grip wouldn’t let him.

The blond looked down at him. “I can’t let you try and get home in your state. You can stay here.”

Elijah opened his mouth to protest, but all desire to argue immediately left him. He nodded meekly. “I suppose you’re right.”

The American allowed Paul to pick him up, resting his head on the other man’s chest. He wasn’t sure where things would go from here, but things were certainly more hopeful. If nothing else, at least he would be able to sleep now.

Paul smiled as he carried the half-asleep actor upstairs. He knew he would have to be careful, but it seemed that Mark had known best after all. Talking to Elijah was the best thing held hld have done, and his only regret was not doing it sooner.

As he reached the top of the stairs, Paul realised that Elijah was now fast asleep in his arms. The smaller man was still too pale, but his expression was softer than it had been and a lot more contented. Paul felt an equal contentment within – things seemed a lot more optimistic now that the air had been cleared.