MST: Legolas and Antira

A/N: Sorry, the story got cut off there. Continue, please!


++She thought that this meant that the was ready.

Legolas: Yes. “The” was ready.

++Aragorn came running into the camp from behind the corner where he was checking out the plain lands.

Frodo: Checking out the plain lands again? After all the times they’ve said no. He just never gives up, does he?

++Aragorn got out his sword and Legolas and Antira got out their bow and arrows and put an arrow to their strings as the whole camp awoke. They all knew what was happening at the first sight of the 3 of them standing there ready. They all got out their swords and ax’s and were ready. As they all stood there in their spots frozen, they appeared through the trees and charged their way towards the Fellowship. They all knew that the war of the ring had now officially begun.

Antira: Ohhh. Scary.
Legolas: (snore)
Frodo: Can I go to the bathroom?
Antira: All right! Intermission! Thank God! I have to go vomit a little blood.
Legolas: Wskdjf owewha-? Oh, intermission? Finally. Did I miss anything?
Frodo: Yeah. Everything sucks and we’re all gonna die.
Legolas: Excellent.

(Intermission)

Antira: Well, we’re back. Remind me why we decided to do this again.
Frodo: I think it’s for a charity or something.
Legolas: Yeah, GRORW. Get Rid Of Retarded Writers.
Antira: (sigh) Let’s soldier on.
Frodo: Here we go!

++Antira and Legolas got in front of the Fellowship because they had bow and arrows and could shoot from a distance.

Legolas: Oh that’s right, we’re having a battle. I almost forgot.

++But there were too many. As they both ran out of arrows, they started to back away at the same time getting their daggers out.

Legolas: I ran out of arrows?
Antira: Like that ever happens.

++Everybody else was charging towards the Orcs but were having no luck in defeating them. They were Urk-hai.! They were stronger than Saruman himself with them all put together.

Frodo: Urk-hai? Are those like Uruk-hai?
Legolas: And Saruman is about five thousand years old. Of course they’re stronger than him.

++As they all fought out this terrible war, Antira was int eh middle of the pack trying to kill them with her daggers but it wasn’t working! They always just stood there as she stabbed them every where!

Antira: I hate it when that happens.

++Finally, she got exhausted and stopped stabbing. Even though she was probably the best at dagger battles, she wasn’t winning! As she stopped stabbing, the Orcs circled around her. She was surrounded. She had no way out!

Frodo: Will our beautiful heroine be carved into mincemeat by the naughty orcs? Will anyone rescue her?
Antira: I think this is overly dramatic enough, thank you.

++As she flung her head from side to side trying to find a way out, she was thinking.

Antira: Although it was hard to think with my head flinging back and forth like an insane bobble head.

++Thinking about all the good times she has had with the Fellowship, Aimuna and especially Legolas. She had it in the back of her mind at this point trying not to think about it but she thought she was going to die.

Legolas: I guess that’s a pretty logical assumptisincsince your surrounded by snarling, stinking, seemingly invincible orcs.

++But just as she thought that, she turned around and gave out a loud scream. One of the Orcs held up a dart and he threw it. It hit her in the side of the neck. After a few seconds, she pulled it out. She looked at it and said out loud “It’s poison.”

Antira: Hmmmm. That was a sudden turn of events.
Frodo: Yup. Definitely didn’t see that one coming.
Antira: Why did I wait a few seconds?
Legolas: It’s that whole dramatic pause thing. Your whole life has to flash before your eyes.
Antira: I already did that a few minutes ago.

++Her body motions began to slow down. She felt dizzy and felt tired. She fel her her knees. All the Orcs that were around her backed away.

Antira: ???
Frodo: Suddenly, they lost their desire to be cruel and nasty.
Legolas: For no apparent reason.

++She got up almost using up all her energy. As she walked, she noticed one orc following her. At this point she could hardly see because it was getting blurry as she walked.

Legolas: See? Again with the stumbling blindly thing.

++She leaned against a boulder trying to call out to Legolas. But she couldn’t. Her voice was gone. But as she leaned against the rock, Legolas turned his head saw saw her there. He was pushing his way though the crowd to get to her and at the same time defending himself. He had a clear view of her. He watched her fall to the ground unconscious. He was almost there when he saw the orc run over to her and pick her up off the ground.

Antira: Now the orc is kidnapping me? I thought orcs ate people.
Frodo: Maybe he’s carrying you off to your bedroom like your father did.
Legolas: Let’s not go there.

++Legolas kept on pushing through the crowd when he stopped. The orc looked at him straight in the eyes and mad a loud noise. Out of Antira’s hand dropped a dart as the orc ran into the forest with her in his arms. Legolas ran over to the dart and saw what it was. He wasn’t an expert on the poison but he realized what it was.

Antira: I’m a little amazed that Legolas can do anything besides lace up his own boots.
Legolas: I’d like to argue with you, but the author does seem to think I’m an idiot.
Frodo: What good is living three thousand years if you don’t learn anything?

++He ran into the forest and began calling out her name. But little did he know that while he was looking at the dart, the orc climbed a tree and were now camouflaged.

Antira: They’re like lizards, I guess. Or moths. Don’t moths camouflage themselves against trees?
Frodo: And what about Legolas and his elven eyes? Talk about not using your assets.
Legolas: Don’t talk about my assets.

++But as soon as he left the forest 30 minutes later and went back to the war, the orc climbed down the tree and began calling out to the troops in a different language. All the troops retreated and headed back into the forest. The whole Fellowship stood there looking confused.

Frodo: No shit.

++The only person with a different look on his face was Legolas who now had tears running down his cheeks. He dropped to his knees and said “They took her. She’s gone. Antira. They took her. She’s gone.”

Legolas: What the hell is my problem?
Antira: You precious little inarticulate elf.

++His face now looking shocked. Everybody was waiting for him to explain but he wasn’t going to say another word. He was going to be silent for the rest of his life if they didn’t find her soon.

Frodo: That’s helpful.
Antira: You’re throwing a tantrum instead of trying to save me?
Legolas:…

++But hen the whole Fellowship began to think. What would the orcs want with Antira? But then, Pippin bent down and looked at a shiny thing in the dirt. He told Gandalf and he examined it. It was Antira’s necklace. It was ripped of her when she was captured. The opal in the middle was turning black. Gandalf looked scared at that moment and then said “I know what happened to her.” he said looking up at the Fellowships confused faces. “She has been taken to Saruman. She didn’t know this but when her opal in her necklace turns black, it means that she is near evil.

Antira: Oh this just gets better and better!
Frodo: Why does it mean Saruman? Aren’t orcs evil enough?
Antira: Do not question the necklace. The necklace knows all.

++And if she’s near evil....im afraid that her necklace will not go back to her!

Legolas: See, the necklace is throwing a tantrum, too.

++She may die and if her opal go’s missing then she is dead. Legolas, take charge of her necklace! And remember what I said!” So Legolas took the necklace and they were on their way to search for her.

Antira: (groan)

++Antira woke up 2 days later. As everything came into focus, she realized that she was looking at the ground! As she looked up, she saw that she was flung over the shoulder of one of the orcs that had been at battle. As she started to move around, he made a loud scream that really hurt her ears.

Antira: (snigger) Excuse me, could you lower the volume a little? Some of us are trying to sleep.

++As she covered them after the noise, he dropped her to the ground and al the orcs gathered around her. One of the orcs (The one that hit her with the dart) started to walk over to her. Her voice had not fully come back yet but it was improving. In a slow tired voice she said “What do you want with me? Why have you brought me here?” As she looked up at the orc, he said (In English) “We have brought you here because our master Saruman sent us to capture you and bring you back to him for his own purpose.” he finished

Legolas: …

++“But for what purpose?” she asked.

Antira: Yeah! Where exactly is this going?

++“We do not know.” said another orc stepping forward. “He did not tell us his purpose. But it must be something important for he told us to call you by the nof Pof Princess!” he finished.

Antira: (glances at Legolas) You know, this orc is about five times as articulate as you are.
Legolas: Sod off.

++Antira did not want to hear that word ever again she had had enough with it! At that moment, the orc that gave out a loud roar and one of the orcs picked her up off the ground and were off. As Antira lay, flung over the shoulder of the orc, she was thinking about what the Fellowship was doing right then. What if they were looking for her! They would all be killed! She wanted the Fellowship to go and save the rest of Middle-earth! She was just one elf. Just one. But there are hundreds of elves waiting to be saved.
And that was when she dosed off.

Frodo: You dosed off? What did you do, take a bunch of Nyquil?
Legolas: Maybe she means “dozed.”
Antira: This is horrible.

++When she awakened 12 hours later,

Frodo: Some doze.

++she was walking on cement! It wasn’t the same orc that she dosed off. He was different in some way. But she didn’t know which way!
Legolas: (big goofy grin) !
Antira: Shoot me in the head. Please.

++As she thought, trying to figure out what he was doing with her, she looked down

Frodo: Where is thing going? I’m a little afraid.

++and she was going up steps. Almost a kind of marble, but not.

Frodo: Whew. Saved.

++As they reached the top, another orc came out and held a sword in his hand. The orcs started to talk and then the orc that was carrying her set her down and went inside and shut the door. The other orc looked at Antira and pointed the sword at her neck.
“Now you try anything funny like running away and I will kill you. Got it?” he asked.
Antira just nodded her head. 5 minutes later, the orc that carried her to this place came out and told the other orc to go inside. The orc picked her up and walked in the tower.
They walked into a spiral room and suddenly, al the double doors shut.

Antira: This seems familiar…
Legolas: Last time it happened, I think it was Gandalf getting closed in.

++She was trapped. The orc flung her on the floor, and then bowed to who ever was in the room. As Antira looked up, she saw a person who she never wanted to encounter! Saruman!

Antira: Actually, the person I never want to encounter is whoever wrote this.

++“Well, well, well. What do we have here? A princess, on my floor, bowing to me?” Saruman asked with a bit of sarcasm in his voice as he got up from his seat and circling her as she lay on the floor with her head up looking at him. “I’ll never bow to you! You monster!” she screamed. The echo was really loud in the circular room.

Antira: Ow. My ears are still sore from that orc yelling.

++But he was just circling her like a hawk who had o catch her. A grin came onto his face. “You will bow to me when you see what I caught in the river Isen! Bring him out!” he yelled at the orcs. A few seconds later, the orcs brought out a beaten figure who looked like a regular person who was beaten almost to death, but.....as she looked at the person, the orcs pulled back his head really fast to reveal...... “Oh no! Father!” Antira yelled trying to get up from the spot where she lay.

Legolas: What was Denethor doing in the river Isen?
Frodo: I’m afraid to ask.

++But the orcs rushed over and held her back. “Antira! Your alive! Thank god! I almost killed you didn’t I?” Lord Denethor said with shock in his voice.

Frodo: (guffaw) No, it was just a puny arrow to the stomach.
Antira: My eternal organs are INVINCIBLE!

++“No father but you did kill Aimuna! I watched her die!” Antira said calmly. “Antira Im sorry! I had so many things on my mind and I didn’t realize what I was doing and I hit you and....-” Lord Denethor trailed off as they took him back to his cell.

Legolas: They always make excuses.
Frodo: So many things o min mind? Oh, I’m worried about the car loan, so I guess I’ll just bash my daughter over the head.

++“Now Antira. You must do something for me so I can let your father go.” Saruman said “But I.....” Antira thought for a moment. Then said “What must I do?”

Antira: AHHH! I’m afraid! I really am.

++Legolas always tried to stay focused on important things but he always got back to thinking about Antira!

Antira: (raises eyebrows at Legolas) What exactly is more important than me?
Legolas: (slouches down and hides his face)

++He couldn’t stop! He loved her and it was just too hard to stop thinking about her. She was in danger and he knew that. He always tried to think on the good side. But that good side was bad too! He kept on thinking (Ok. Antira is in danger at Saruman’s castle and if I don’t save her, she will die.)

Frodo: (snicker) Don’t hurt yourself, there, Legolas.
Antira: (giggle)
Legolas: All right, where’s the author? SHE will die.

++That word that he dreaded the most was in that thought. Die. He lost too many in the past and he wasn’t about to loose this friend that he loved so much.

Antira: FRIEND?

++“Legolas, are you alright?” Aragorn asked as everybody stopped walking to listen to what he was going to say.

Legolas: Yeah, buddy, I’m fine. My girlfriend has been kidnapped and is probably being raped by orcs as we speak, but it’s all good.

++Legolas hesitated when he looked back but he knew that he must find a way to tell them. Tell them how he felt about Antira and what he heard in his dreams before her capture.

Frodo: You had dreams? When?
Antira: How did you have dreams if you never sleep?
Legolas: (shrugs)

++“Yes. I am alright. But I don’t know if Antira is. That is why we must hurry up! He could kill her anytime now. And if he got her that easily, he could get the rest of us like that too! She was the best at dagger battle and we were amateurs. They caught the best. So they could catch us easier than they did her.” Legolas finished.

Antira: (hold Legolas’s hand) Oh, I wouldn’t call you an amateur.
Legolas: (blush)

++Everybody looked at him with a confused look on their faces. He never spoke that much in one go in his whole life!

Antira and Frodo: (maniacal laughter)
Legolas: I’m the strong, silent type.

++After 5 hours of walking in silence, they stopped because night was just about to arrive and they had noht sht so they could not go on. When everybody else was sleeping, Legolas crept out of cto ato a tree which he could sit in and think about his problems and how to solve them.

Frodo: What are you, Rafiki? You sit in a tree to think?
Antira: (giggling)
Legolas: (flips his hair) It’s an elf thing. You wouldn’t understand.

++As he walked out of camp, Aragorn woke up and silently followed him. As Legolas climbed the tree, Aragorn stayed down on the ground and watched him climb and climb and climb until he reached the top where he sat in silence. As he sat, Aragorn called up to him. “Legolas! Can I come up?”

Antira: (in a sexy voice) Why don’t you come up and see me sometime?
Legolas: (growl)
Frodo: Kids, settle down.
Legolas: What’s the matter, hobbit? Bitter?
Frodo: Why I oughtta…

++Legolas just looked down and said “Yes you may.” Aragorn climbed up and took a branch beside Legolas.

Antira: (snigger) Pull up a branch.

++Without looking at him, Aragorn said, “Legolas, I know that you are worried. We are all worried. She is a part of our group. Legolas, we all love her. She is our friend, and she needs to come back. No one deserves a fate at Saruman’s hands, no matter how bad they are.”

Antira: Is he saying I’m bad?

++Legolas just continued looking at the sky when he said, “I know we will get her back, but.....the night before bat battle and her capture, she said something to me in my dreams.

Legolas: The dreams I had when I wasn’t asleep.

++It was like, she knew that she was going to be captured but she didn’t. The saying was: (When the cold of winter comes, Starless night will cover day. In the veiling of the sun, we will walk in bitter rain. But in dreams, I can here your name. And in dreams, we will meet again. When the seas and mountains fall, And we come to end of days, in the dark I hear a call, calling me there, I will go there, and back again.)

Frodo: Okay, so now we’re mooching from the soundtrack. What the hell is going on in this story? She didn’t even get the words right.
Antira: I’m embarrassed for her.

++And know, ever since her capture, I’ve been seeing, hearing and feeling her in my dreams!

Legolas: That I don’t have!

++It’s like she knows were going to win but she doesn’t. Aragorn, what do you think this means?” Legolas finished with his head spinning with questions.

Frodo: (as Aragorn) I think it means you need to stop SMOKING CRACK!
Antira: I know we’re going to win, but I don’t? What the hell?
Legolas: This isn’t a dream. It’s a nightmare.

++Aragorn thought for a minute when he said “Legolas, do you still have that necklace around your neck?” Legolas took out the necklace that was tucked into his tunic and held it up not taking it too far away from his neck.

Frodo: You’re wearing the necklace?
Antira: Don’t you think that’s a little…gay?
Legolas: It’s a token! It reminds me of you! Besides, Frodo wears a necklace, and he looks like a girl, and no one is calling him gay.
Frodo: Actually, lots of people call me gay. You called me gay.
Legolas: I’m NOT gay.
Antira: Well, I know that, but…
Legolas: Let’s just drop it.
Frodo: Hey, Antira, if you want a real man…
Antira: (blush)
Legolas: A real man? You’re four feet high!
Frodo: Hey, three words for you. Looking for someone?
Les: Ys: You punk! Come here!
Antira: BOYS! Stop fighting. There’s plenty of me to go around.
Legolas and Frodo: (gape)
Antira: Just listen to the story, okay?

++"Legolas, I do not think that It’s Antira who is doing this to you. I think that it’s that necklace. Who is trying to get back to her. So it’s showing her to you and letting you feel her touch and letting you hear her. It does not want you to forget about her. It wants heck jck just as much as you want her back. But it’s the strangest thing.

Legolas: No shit.

++The only person that the necklace was ever pulled to was Antira but, for some reason, it’s pulled to you now. Why is that?” Aragorn said quietly.

Frodo: It’s pulled to Legolas? When did that happen?
Antira: I think he just made that up.

++Thinking for a minute he said “Legolas, I know why. It’s because you live inside her.

Antira: I don’t think it’s ever been long enough to consider it LIVING inside me.
Legolas: (furious blush)
Frodo: (puts fingers and ears and pretends not to hear) LALALALALA

++And the necklace got attached to her feelings about different things. You are in her, and she is in you. That’s what makes love so strong.” And through out the night, they just sat there in silence looking at the stars until break of dawn started to come over the horizon. Legolas now felt better. He was confident that he could get her back now.

Frodo: What, the necklace gives you confidence, too? I am so confused.
Antira: Aren’t we all.

++When Antira was brought back down to her cell, she was met by her father (They were sharing the cell). “Antira! You can’t do it! I wont let you! Do not deceive your friends! They are the only ones you’ve got! Please! Im begging you! Don’t!” Lord Denethor yelled. “I tried to kill you! I deserve this. I deserve this punishment!” “Father please! Don’t yell at me. No one deserves to fate of Saruman, no matter how bad they have been!” Antira said calmly.

Legolas: Wow, never heard that before.

++But as she finished starstarted to think. (Maybe he is right. Maybe if he thinks that he deserves this then maybe he does. Maybe he should make the decisions for me.)

Antira: What? How is that making a decision for me?

++At that moment, Saruman came down to the cell door and said, “Are you ready to leave to get the ring Princess?” Antira stepped forward and said “I refuse to go. I will not deceive my friends for you. I loose both ways.

Frodo: I wonder if she means “lose.”
Antira: No, I think she means loose. Like the plot line of this story.
Legolas: Like Antira when she’s emotionally distraught.
Antira and Frodo: (gasp)
Antira: I don’t believe you just said that.
Frodo: Ouch! Talk about being in the doghouse.

++One: I loose my friends and Sauron destroys my life and Middle-earth forever and two: If I don’t do it my life again. So why don’t you just kill me now. It would be a lot simpler for you and for me.” At that moment, some guards stepped forward, opened that door and grabbed her. They flung her across the room where she could be killed (from severe beatings).

Frodo: Because it’s so inconvenient to beat someone to death in their cell.
Antira: (glower)
Legolas: Look, I’m sorry. (reaches out to touch her face)
Antira: (bites him)
Legolas: Ow! What’s up with the Gollum thing, yo?
Frodo: (puts his arm around Antira)
Antira: (cuddle)
Frodo: (gives Legolas an arrogant grin)
Legolas: (fume)

++“Why do you refuse to do my bidding? Why do you refuse to when the consequence is death? Why do you sacrifice the life of your dear father?” Saruman asked. Antira looked up at him from the floor and said “He is not my father. He is one of my many so-called fathers.

Antira: Riiiight.
Frodo: It’s like Star Wars, in reverse.
Legolas: (sulk)

++I was born to.....to......I don’t know whom I was born to but it was even before Lord Denethor’s days. Im one of his ancestors who were never well thought of. But now look at me and how I changed my family around forever. Yes, that does mean that Faramir and Boromir are not my brothers. Everyone in my family was a human, but I was an elf. No one knows how it happened but it just did!
Frodo: Does this even require a sarcastic remark?

++I will not do your bidding because other people will die and not just me, but hobbits, elves, dwarves, wizards and men and woman too. So I refuse!” Antira finished. Saruman just looked at her and said “Yes, I already know Antira, I know all about your life and the life of your father. Did you know that? I will find the ring, kill the one who carries it and destroy Middle-Earth and then do whatever I wish to do with the remainder of And And you cant stop me!” Saruman finished.

Antira: He’d be more intimidating if he’d write his own material.

++He looked at her as she starred at him with hatred in her eyes. “Frodo Baggins will stop you and so will the Fellowship.

Frodo: Aw, you stuck up for me?
Antira: Of course, schnookie.
Legolas: (makes rude vomiting noises)

++As for me, I will lead them all to victory and then celebrate it by burning you. You have killed many people over the years and I will see to it that you get what you deserve.” Antira finished as she tried to walk back into her cell but the orcs grabbed her and threw her against the wall and held her there.

Antira: You know, I think that whole getting thrown against the wall thing is only sexy if it’s Johnny Depp doing the throwing.

++Her feet were 2 feet off the ground. Saruman took his staff and put it under her chin to hold it up and said, “See her Princess, if you try to escape then you will be beaten. If you back talk, you will be beaten and if you try and kill me......well, you will be beaten to death. Do und understand that girl? And you better not do anything to interfere with my plans or your future father will get what he deserves. Do what you wish with her. If she refuses, beat her.”

Antira: AHHHHH! Help! Quick, anyone! I don’t like where this is headed.

++Saruman finished walking up the stairs to the main floor. As he sat in his thrown, listening really hard, he could hear the screams that came from Antira as the orcs beat her to the limit of almost certain death, but she was strong and lived. As she lay in her cell after the beating was over and her father sitting next to her black and blue body, she thought to herself (What will they do to me? What will come next?)

Antira: I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know.
Frodo: Hide your eyes, pookie.
Legolas: (rolls his eyes)

++And at that moment, she fell into an uneasy sleep until the sound of the cell door woke her up the next morning.

Frodo: I can hardly take the suspense.

++As Legolas and the rest of the Fellowship left the spot where they were resting, he realized that the words that Antira told him before she left were resounding in his head everywhere he went and on occasions, he found himself muttering them under his breath.
Legolas just realized that he was muttering them under his breath

Frodo: God, Legolas, you are such a moron.
Antira: And now you’re talking to yourself?
Legolas: Hey, I’m going through a tough time right now, if you don’t mind.
Antira: Well, just make sure you don’t do anything you’ll regret. God knows you’ll NEVER LIVE IT DOWN!
Legolas: I said I was sorry.

++“Maybe Aragorn was right. Maybe it is attached to me. And maybe Antira has been.....been......beaten. Maybe that’s why it want’s to get back to her so fast.

Frodo: Well, that’s logical. In a really illogical kind of way.

++And maybe-” “Legolas? Are you alright? You were muttering to yourself.” He heard Gandalf say as he felt his hand land on his shoulder very gently. As he came into focus on the real world around him, he realized that everyone had stopped walking and was looking at him with a look of confusion on their faces. “Yes Gandalf. Im fine. But why do I keep muttering to myself?

Antira: Because you’re insane. That’s what insane people do.

++Why do I keep hearing her voice in my head? Why- "Legolas, we all have questions in our minds right now. But the one that you must focus on is the one on when we get to the palace of Saruman, how are you going to get her out of here alive!? And as you now, everyone is worried. She could be dying at this very moment.

Frodo: That Gandalf, he always has something uplifting to say.
Antira: (snicker)

++Everyone knows that Saruman can kill when he wants and keep something alive when he wants. But right now, I think that he is going to keep her alive until we get there and then try and kill us all! That’s how he is going to do it and we have to think about other things that are going on around us other than something that you dreamed long ago.” Gandalf finished almost instantly before Legolas was going to interrupt him.
“But Gandalf! I didn’t dream this long ago! I dreamt this right before she was captured and it was like she was expecting, no, knowing that that’s what was going to happen to her!”
Legolas: And again with the dreams. This author doesn’t have a consistent bone in her body.

++Legolas started to leave Gandalf’s side when Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin came in front of him and started to speak at the same time in a very loud voice obviously trying to be heard over the other voices that arose in the woods (They were probably Ents).

Antira: (sits up in outrage) WHAT THE FUCK? ENTS?
Frodo: Where the hell are they? What’s happening?
Legolas: Since when do Ents just start talking as you walk through the forest?
Antira: I’m going to be sick.

++“Please. One at a time. I wish to get a move on so make it fast.” Gandalf said sternly.

Frodo: I can’t talk and walk at the same time.

++“Well, to start it off,” Merry said cheerfully, “we wish to say that we don’t think that he will kill her and we also heard from the Ents a day ago that the Lord Denethor has gone missing and they are out looking for him.

Antira: Okay, so they talked to some random Ents a day ago, found out vital information, and told no one?
Legolas: This just gets better and better.

++We think that he might have him too! So there is another reason why we must go and try to find her. Her father is in danger!” He finished and walked off with the rest of them as Legolas just looked at them as they walked thinking that they were all going to say the same thing. “I think that they are right. Maybe they do have the Lord with them and I think that we had better stop for the night to try and think of a way to get her out of that castle.

Frodo: I can’t THINK and walk at the same time.
Legolas: (glare)

++And If we cant then she will die so we better hurry up if we want a part of our Fellowship back. Because if we loose her, then you loose me too.” Legolas said as he kept on walking. “We can stop in half and hours time. That is when it starts to get dark. So come. If we want to find a good spot to stay somewhere away front eh orcs......I think we better find a sanctuary before anything."

Frodo: Who are you talking to?
Legolas: Beats me.

++So the Fellowship ran to find their place to stay, Legolas thought to himself and made the stupidest vow he has every made (he never made a vow in his life).

Antira: Oh, this ought to be good.

++He vowed to himself that he would not ever mutter to himself again because when he was with the Fellowship and taking to Gandalf about his muttering, he thought that it was a good thing that the sun was not out because he never in his life turned a brighteade ade of red from embarrassment!

Frodo: HANG ON, HANG ON, STOP THE TRAIN, I’M GETTING OFF! The sun wasn’t out? Then what is all this about the sun going down in half an hour?

Antira: And what kind of vain elf worries about being embarrassed when the love of his life has been taken prisoner?

Frodo and Antira: (stare at Legolas)

Legolas: Look, I’m the victim here. I didn’t write it!

++As she woke from her sleep that lasted until noon, she looked over at the door where an orc now stand. He looked at her and her father and said “Lord Saruman wishes to see you both. Now.” He walked over and grabbed Antira and Lord Denethor’s arm but Antira pulled away and said “We will follow in peace. We should not be hulled everywhere we are to go.”

Legolas: Hulled? Isn’t that something you do to a boat?
Antira: (snicker) Maybe it’s something you do to the relation ship.

++So the orc let go of his grasp and he lead them to the main part of the castle. As Antira and Lord Denethor walked side by side through the main doors that lead to the cells, Antira said in a hushed voice to her father “I hope they come soon. They have probably already noticed that you are missing. I hope they can find out where we are.”
And at that point, she felt week.

Frodo: Do you feel week a lot?
Antira: How exactly do you feel week?
Legolas: Which particular week are you feeling?

++She felt like she was going to collapse and that was when she felt around her neck to play with her neckless

Antira: My neckless?
Frodo: Clive Anderson is neckless.
Legolas: (giggle)

++as she always did but.....it wasn’t there! She hadn’t realized that since they got to eh castle! (What could of happened to it?)

Frodo: I wonder!

++She thought as they walked through the hall towards Saruman that was sitting in his thrown at the top of the 3 stairs leading up to it. The orc pushed them down to their knees and just sat there looking up at him with hatred in their eyes. But, Saruman raised his staff and they both felt a heavy weight on their backs. As if a giant hand was pushing them down to the ground. Of course, Lord Denethor was the weakest so he fell to the ground first but Antira stood her ground and began to get up with all her might.

Antira: I am always getting up with all my might. I’m exhausted just hearing about it.

++The weight was still on her back but she began to walk over to Saruman and very slowly he began to smile as he put more weight on her back but she resisted to the weight and kept on walking. As she approached the 3 stairs leading over to his thrown, an orc tried to catch her before she reached the stairs but she threw him off of her and began to climb the stairs. When she got to the place where he sat she said in a very bow and tiered voice

Legolas: A bow and tiered voice? Someone has a fetish for accessories that tie.

++“What did you want with us because we wish to return to our so wonderful royal chamber that you call a cell.”

Frodo: How defiant of you.
Antira: Thank you.

++“ Well what I wanted was to show you where your little friends are now at this very moment. And if you will just look over at the Seeing ball, we can get you back to your royal bed chamber in the matter of minutes.” He said calling an orc over to her to carry her to the ball. The weight that was on Lord Denethor’s shoulders had lifted and he walked over to the ball and stood beside Antira.

Legolas: A Seeing ball? This sounds nothing like a palantir.
Antira: Of course not. This is Miss Originality, remember?

++Then she asked “ Before I even set my eyes on that dangerous ball,

All: (insane, uncontrollable laughter)
Fr Tha Thangerngerous ball?

++I want to know what did you do with my neckless. I need it back” “You will see what they did with your neckless when you look into the ball Princess.” Saruman exclaimed.
She did not react to the name princess because she did not have much power to react to anything that he or the orcs said. But she was going to have to get use to that name if she was going to go and live in Mirkwood for the rest of her life.

Antira: Wait, so I fight furiously against being Princess of Gondor just so I can go be Princess of Mirkwood? Am I stupid?
Legolas: Now you know how I feel.

++Because the news has probably already spread around Middle-earth by now.

Frodo: What news? What does this have to do with anything?

++All three of them looked into the ball and to her surprise, she knew exactly where they were. They were in a clearing that she had saw in her dreams 2 years ago.

Antira: Oh great. Now I’m having dreams.

++The cleg thg that she couldn’t remember until now. Then.....she saw Gandalf, then Aragorn, then Frodo, then the rest of the hobbits, then.....she saw Legolas. He was playing with something that was making tears run uncontrolladowndown his pale cheeks that had no sign of happiness in them at all.

Antira and Frodo: (raise eyebrows at Legolas)
Legolas: Oh, grow up.

++It was her neckless! “You see Antira, this is what has become of your neckless. It was pulled off of you when you were captured and Master Perigrin

Antira: Master who?
Legolas: She means Peregrin.

++found it in the dirt. And they gave it to your one and only love to take care of it.” Saruman finished as he saw that there was a tear that came from her eyes and down her cheek and onto the floor in front of her feet. “Take them away.” Saruman said as the orcs came and brought them down to their cell all the time she had a tear rolling down her cheeks thinking (What did I do to deserve this fate. Why did this have to happen to me and my father?)

Antira: Yeah, what did I do to deserve this fate? This terrible fate of having to ENDURE THIS STORY.
Frodo: Why is it so horrible that Legolas has the necklace? Or neckless. What is it again?
Legolas: It’s a magic Clive Anderson. You rub the bald head and he gives you three wishes.
Antira: (snicker)

++The Fellowship was asleep when Legolas was sitting on a rock with tears running uncontrollably down his pale cheeks that had no sign of happiness in them at all because he was playing with the neckless thinking about the times that he had had with Antira and wishing that she was sitting on tock ock at that very moment.
Antira: Oh, that’s sweet…in a non-English speaking kind of way.
Legolas: (shy smile)
Frodo: (shrugs uncomfortably)

++Finally, day break had come and he woke the rest of the Fellowship. They were on their way in half an hours time.

Legolas: , wh, what’s up with this girl and the number three? Everything is three feet, thirty minutes, thirty miles…it’s getting old.

++They were trying to keep their minds on helping Antira get out of there alive but Legolas was not having any trouble keeping his mind on that. Every second of his day was concentrated on Antira and how he was going to get her and Lord Denethor out of that place. As they were walking out of the clearing, they all didn’t know that a wizard was watching them. Saruman. Saruman was sitting on his thrown with the ball in front of him watching and listening to every word that they were saying.

Antira: Ooooh, creepy 1984 moment.

++“I think we will be there anytime soon you know.” Gandalf said in a hushed voice to the Fellowship. But that wasn’t enough for Saruman.

Frodo: I don’t know why. It was enough for me before it even started.

++He kept listening. “Gandalf, how close are we? We need to get there really fast if we want to get them out of there!” Frodo said. “SHHHH!” said the whole Fellowship at the same time and at the same time Frodo blushed from embarrassment.

Frodo: (pout)
Antira: Oh, it’s okay. You were just trying to be helpful.
Legolas: (mocking) Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Frodo: (glare)

++Finally, Saruman went and got the orcs and asked Antira if she would go and get the ring and she said “No! I already told you that I would not! Nothing within this world could make me do it!”

Legolas: (as Saruman) Well, just thought I’d ask…

++And that’s the answer that he wanted to hear because he wanted to let the orcs beat them so that when they got to the tower, they would see what state they were in. The orcs were happy that they got to beat that day.

All: ???

++Then he went back to his ball

Frodo: And danced the night away.

++and watched them all run up the marble stairs that lead to his front doors a half an hour later.

Legolas: There goes that half an hour again.

++The Fellowship ran in and stopped 20 feet away from were he sat.

Antira: Exactly 20 feet?

++But Legolas refused to stand his ground and he tried to run to Saruman but Aragorn and Gandalf stopped him but he got away and ran up the steps to the place were he sat.
Legolas grabbed him by his robes with both hands and said “Where is she. I want her and Lord Denethor in this room now or I’ll kill you.”

Antira: My hero!
Frodo: (grimace)
Legolas: (beam)

++So, Saruman motioned to the orcs to bring them in and when they came back 2 minutes later dragging 2 forms by the arms that looked almost dead. They threw them down 30 feet away

Legolas: And again! Thirty!

++from where Legolas stood. He took one look at Antira and then started to run towards her in a panic thinking she must be dead. But the orcs grabbed him by the arms and stopped him from getting to her. They threw him backwards and he landed at the feet of Gandalf who was in shock by the sight of Antira and Lord Denethor. Legolas got up and grabbed his bow and arrows and shot 2 arrows at the 2 orcs that grabbed him. He ran towards Antira and Lord Denethor again and he reached Antira, he tuned her over and saw the most bruises that he had ever seen in his life on one person.

Frodo: He tuned you over?
Antira: Like a piano!

++He pushed the hair our of her face and tears started dropping from his eyes as he looked at her badly bruised face. As the tears dropped on her face, she twitched a little and then opened her eyes to see Legolas over her. She looked at him and then raised one hand and wiped a tear from his cheek. “Please don’t cry. I’ll be fine. Go and help the others while I tend to my father. He needs it more than I do.” she said in a very weak voice as she lay there on the floor.

Antira: (sniffle) I’m so brave.

++Finally she tried to get up but she couldn’t so she pulled herself over to her father to tend to him. “Legolas, go and help the others! I will be fine. Don’t worry.” She said in a very controlled voice. “No. I cant leave you again. I need you to live. I love you Antira.”
He said but then realized that she waskingking at him like she meant it. Like she really was going to be fine. So he nodded and ran over to the Fellowship,

Antira: What? You just left?
Legolas: You’re a big girl. You can take care of yourself.
Antira: Well, I suppose…

++ready to take on Saruman and the orcs at the same time. He looked like he was ready to take on Sauron himself. That was when she realized, from everything he has said and done, he truly and deeply loved her. And the shock. She did too.

Frodo: Shock.
Antira: Didn’t we know that, like, ten chapters ago?
Legolas: Apparently our characters are so stupid, they’re just now catching on.

++Antira was trying her hardest to help her father but it didn’t seem to be working. She needed herbs.

Frodo: You know that feeling? When you just need HERBS?

++Finally, Pippin and Merry came over. They both started to talk at the same time. “ Oh! We are so glad you’re all right my lady.” said Merry “ I didn’t think that you of all people would be that strong as to resist all these beatings!” Said Pippin.

Antira: Me, of all people? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

++“ OH PLEASE! I need help. If you can go and get Master Samwise for me maybe we can save my father from certain death.” she said in a soft voice.

Legolas: Right, because Sam is a great healer. Isn’t Aragorn the one with magic fingers?

++But when she and the two hobbits looked up, they saw that the battle had already begun. They were fighting the Urk-hai and they needed Merry and Pippins help. They said that they couldn’t help her right now and they were right! The Fellowship was getting badly beaten by the Urk-hai.

Legolas: Why are we having a battle?
Frodo: Yeah, I missed something here.
Antira: I think I’ve missed EVERYTHING.

++She began to tend to her father again. And when she looked up, the Urk-hai were trapping them in a circle they would die in if theyed ted to penetrate it’s boundaries.
Frodo: Did anyone else not understand that sentence?
Antira: I think she’s basically just saying we’re screwed.

++They were now throwing out all their weapons to the ground outside the circle! They could not help themselves.

Frodo: What?
Antira: Okay, I didn’t get that one.
Legolas: Who is surrendering to whom here?

++She looked back down at her father and she saw that his eyes were beginning to open.
“Go and help them. I am not important anymore. The fate of Middle-earth depends on you and the rest of your friends. Don’t disappoint them Antira . You must help them.” Lord Denethor said in a weak voice. Antira began to cry and she shook her head.
“ Go! “ He said again and she came to her senses and quickly got up, grabbed Legolas’ bow and arrows

Legolas: Wait. If you have my bow and arrows, what am I fighting with?
Antira: Who needs weapons when you have eternal organs?

++and while the Fellowship had their eyes closed ready for death SaruSaruman’s eyes were closed because he was laughing so hard, she began to shot madly with her bruised and cut hands. But she endured the pain.

Frodo: So everyone’s eyes are closed, right?
Legolas: It’s like some really fucked up version of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
Antira: I can see the headline now: WHEN PARTY GAMES GO BAD
Frodo: This whole story is a party game gone bad.

++And finally, when she took down Legolas’ bow, the Fellowship opened their eyes and saw that the circle had been cleared. All the orcs were lying on the floor dead around them. Saruman finally opened his eyes thinking he would see 8 dead people but he saw them all standing there with their mouths hanging open looking at the dead orcs. He looked in amazement. Then he heard a voice in the left side of the circular room.
“ Never leave an Elvin Princess unattended when her friends are in mortal danger. Remember that.”

Legolas: Sage advice.
Frodo: Actually, that’s probably wiser than anyg Gag Gandalf has said this whole time.

++Antira said as she began to throw back all the weapons to their rightful owners.
Finally she came across Gandalf ‘s staff. She slowly walked over to him with the staff in hand and handed it back to him. “ Antira, I don’t know what we would of done if you were lying unconscious on the floor.” Gandalf said with a smile on his face as he put one arm around her shoulder.

Ant Sto Stop touching me!

++She smiled back. They all began to walk towards Saruman who was still sitting there in amazement . But as they walked toward Saruman, Gandalf pointed to her father. Legolas and Antira got the message and ran to him. He was still lying there with his eyes open. “You did a very good job out there. I am very proud of you.” Lord Denethor said to her. ” Thank you father.” Antira said back. “But, I don’t think I have the strength to go on. You will have to leave me here to die. That way, Aragorn, son or Arathorn with take his place as King of Gondor. And you will have to do nothing but go back to Mirkwood and rule with Legolas there.” He continued in a very low voice. Antira had tears running down her cheeks. She did not want her father to die. But he did.

Antira: Well, fuck.

++His last words he said before he closed his cold eyes forever was “Goodbye Antira. I will love you forever.” Finally, she got up and crossed the room and ran in front of Gandalf ‘s staff which was pointing right at Saruman’s heart and said “No Gandalf. There has been enough blood spilled here today and I do not wish to see more. You can’t kill him. You are better than that.”

Legolas: No offense, but don’t you think you’re being ridiculously noble, here?

++And with that, they left the tower, Antira whistled for her horse Silvermane, retrieved her necklace from Legolas and they left on horse back.

Frodo: Oh, look. It’s a necklace again. What happened to Clive?

++But Antira now left with her heart in the right place. She did not want to see another drop of blood for as long as she lived. For now, other than Faramir, Legolas and the Fellowship, she was truly alone.

Frodo: (snicker)
Legolas: So she was all alone, except for all the people around her.
Antira: Basically, yeah.

++The ride back to Gondor took a long time. The whole Fellowship knew that they had to tell Faramir about their father

Legolas: Their father? He’s the father of the whole Fellowship now?

++and what had happened that day. Antira reclaimed her necklace from Legolas right after they got out of the tower and now was not reciting a poem under his breath every 10 minutes.

Frodo: Uhhh…what a relief. I guess.

++Everyone was perfectly happy now other than Antira. Now, in her life she had only 1 living relative that she knew about. Faramir.

Antira: Didn’t I just get finished saying that Faramir wasn’t actually my relative?
Frodo: I’ve given up trying to understand your lineage. She could say you’re descended from Gwaihir Windlord, and that would be fine with me.

++One living relative out of three that were living before this Middle-earth threat began.

Legolas: This Middle Earth threat?
Antira: Middle Earth is a threat?

++And both of those 2 people died at her hands. Even her best friend had died at her hands. Nights were her most terrifying time for her because in her dreams she was always remembered about these deaths.

Antira: I was always remembered about these deaths? I can’t handle much more of this.

++She was always brought back to the place of their death. She always had to relive it all.
She longed to be back in Mirkwood under the trees of the elves but she dreads she ever will be. When they reached Minas-Tirith, they went up the stairs to the castle. She could see in the eyes of the people of the village that they wanted to know where their Kwas.was. “ My lady. Where is our King? What has happened to him? Is he all right? Please tell us.” said a man in the streets.

Legolas: I thought she saw it in their eyes.
Frodo: Yeah, they seem to be yelling it at her.

++“ I cannot tell you until I have told my brother. He must know first. I am sorry sir. I cannot .” Antira said.

Antira: As if that doesgivegive it away.

++When they reached the top of the stairs that lead into the Hall where Faramir was to be, they saw Eowen rush out. Why she was there, Antira did not know.

Frodo: You know it’s bad when the author flat out admits that she has no idea what’s going on.
Antira: I’ve known it was bad for a while.

++She gave Eowen a short hug and they started to talk. Eowen said “ We came here to talk to Faramir because some folks from Northern Gondor told Eomer when they saw him. That they saw the king pass the river Isen with orc.

Legolas: With orc? Is that like with child?
Frodo: What? Denethor is giving birth to an orc’s love child?
Antira: You know, this is how rumors get started.

++They also said that there were hundreds beyond count.

Frodo: Beyond count, yet they were counted. Hmmm.

++Eomer came for me for he left his men at Helm’s Deep ( A place of sanctuary for the people of the country Rohan ) and he could not go alone but when we arrived, we searched the Hall and the city and we could not find him anywhere. We think that he went looking for Lord Denethor. But........what happened to the Lord I think that he was captured and taken to Isengard.” she finished as they walked into the Hall.

Antira: It sure was nice of Eowen…Eowyn…whoever…to tell us everything we already knew.

++Antira now ready to tell the story when Eomer came in.

Antira: Always a plus.
Legolas: How come you can get away with saying things like that, and I make one little comment and I’m in trouble?
Antira: I’m a woman. I don’t have to justify myself to you.
Legolas: Hmph.

++“Antira! You’re here! Good! There is a rumor going around the city that the King is dead! Is that true? Antira please tell me!” Eomer exclaimed panting from running through the corridors of the castle when he heard Antira’s voice. “ Please listen to me. “ She said as they sat down at the long table in the Hall and looking down. “ My Father was taken to Isengard. I was also taken there. I was beaten to almost certain death, “ She said showing them almost faded bruises on her arms and legs.

Frodo: You showed them your legs?
Antira: (blush)

++“ But the Fellowship came for us and they were over run by Urk-Hai. My father is....he’s....he’s dead. They beat him so much that when I finished fighting, he said to me Goodbye Antira. I will love you forever then his cold eyes closed for the final time. He is gone.” Antira finished looking up at Eowen and Eomer.

Legolas: That’s poetic justice, isn’t it? He beats Aimuna to death, he gets beaten to death. How fitting.
Frodo: It would have been better if he could have been shot in the stomach first.
Antira: He didn’t have eternal organs. He wouldn’t have survived.

++They were both looking very sad and amazed. “ But why did they take him then. Why?” Eomer asked. The Fellowship was looking very confused by this thought that he brought up. Why did they take him? That was a question everyone kept in his or her mind as the Fellowship, Antira, Eomer and Eowen left on horse back to find Faramir.

Antira: It’s one of those universal questions.
Frodo: It’s right below “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”

++They didn’t have much food but they managed because they had Sam.

Legolas: We ate Sam?
Antira: I thought we did that a long time ago.

++Everybody pitched in to find food but when the food they were looking for was going scarce in that part of the country, they had to move again. It was really hard for them to feed themselves and the horses at the same time. Where they were, there wasn’t much grass for the horses and the horses were starting to get very picky with what they ate.

Frodo: I’verd trd that starving horses do that. They refuse to eat anything.
Legolas and Antira: (snigger)

++Finally, they moved again. But this time, instead of going in the direction of Rohan they went in the direction of Mordor. They think that he might of crossed the river Isen. But on the other hand, he might of been slain by the 9 Ring Wraiths. What happened to him?

Antira: Wait, are we talking about Denethor or Faramir?
Legolas: It’s gotta be Faramir. We know what happened to Denethor.
Frodo: Since when is “Ringwraiths” two words?
Antira: (snicker) It’s artistic license.
Frodo: The day this is considered art will be the day Legolas gets his nails dirty.

++As they rode through the country of Gondor, they met lots of people who were moving to different cities.

Antira: Real estate was really cheap at the time, I guess.
Legolas: Of coursehe ehe expansion of Mordor really affects property value.

++They asked all of the people that they met if they had see him but only a handful said that they saw Faramir cross the river Isen on a midsummers eve. That didn’t help much but they knew that now they were not wrong.

Frodo: So…it DID help.

++He had gone looking for Lord Denethor.

Legolas: How come everyone except Faramir knew that Denethor was at Isengard?
Antira: Seriously. Even Eowyn knew, and she’s not even FROM Gondor.

++As they rode into Rohan, they rode into a clearing that was taken over by orcs probably 2 days before they arrived. It was a camp site! They found dead men lying on the ground. Aragorn, Legolas and Antira went to examine the bodies then “ NO! These are Faramirs men! He was attacked!” Antira said very disturbed.

Legolas: Very disturbed. What a great description.
Frodo: I really feel your pain, Antira.

++“ But why would they camp in Rohan? Lord Denethor never goes to Rohan unless they are in battle and need assistance!” Aragorn exclaimed. The whole Fellowship was looking confuse at this moment.

Frodo: We always look confused. Or confuse, if we’re listening to this author.
Antira: It’s probably because nothing ever makes any sense.

++If Lord Denethor never went to Rohan then “ He must be looking for something else. Not his father!” Legolas pointed out as they left the campsite o ono on further.
“ Listen, I will meet you all at the Golden Hall. Eomer and Eowen will come with me.

Frodo: Why?
Legolas: I have a sneaking suspicion that you just want some alone time with Eomer. OR Eowyn. Let’s not forget that earlier comment about her hair.

++I doubt that there is a war but if he took his men with him then there must be something going on.” Antira told the Fellowship. “ You must keep looking for any sign of Faramir. If I find him at the Golden Hall I will send one of his men back to fetch you.

Antira: Question. How could Faramir get into the Golden Hall if both Eowyn and Eomer are off in Gondor? I don’t imagine the guards just let foreign nobility camp out on their doorstep.
Legolas: That question is WAY to sophisticated.
Frodo: Nodingding. Try “What race is Antira?” If you get a straight answer, then we can move on.

++If you find no sign of him on the 5th day, then come to the Golden Hall and we will see to it that we find other people to look for him.” “We have no time to. We must get something to Mordor before it’s too late.” Frodo said looking at the ring around his neck and then Antira looked at Legolas.

Antira: Very subtle, Master Frodo.
Frodo: I didn’t say it. The author did.

++He the the look that he didn’t want to leave her again. She said this in the elvish language. “Don’t worry Legolas. I will be back. I will not be captured while I am the hand of Eomer! Don’t worry yourself.”

Legolas: Actually, I wasn’t worried about you getting captured. I just didn’t want you off with Eomer.
Antira: You’re so cute when your jealous.

++And with that she said her goodbyes and headed off on horseback with Eomer and Eowen at her side. She hid this from Legolas but she was too worried. (What if they get attacked again like the last time!) She thought to herself.

Frodo: Wow! That would make this story even worse!
Legolas: You think it can get worse?
Antira: I’m not assuming anything at this point.

++They stopped in several villages as they rode through the country side. They hardly ate and slept during these days but it all payed off when they reached the Golden Hall in 1 day and ½ . They didn’t think that there was anything going on until they got inside. She, Eowen and Eomer walked in with out even knocking and now that everyone knew who she was, everybody in the Hall bowed as she walked by to the thrown where Lord Theoden was sitting. She bowed to him as he stood up.

Antira: So Theoden isn’t possessed in this version?

++“ My Lord. Do you know where my brother Faramir is. I need to talk to him immediately. It is urgent.” Antira said as she came out of her bow. “ A yes. Faramir. You are Antira am I not mistaken? ( Antira nodded ) Well, then we must take you to your brother immediately.” Lord Theoden said.

Antira: Uh, yeah, thanks. That’d be cool.

++They finally reached him within 5 minutes. He was out with his army ( They also bowed as she walked out to Faramir ). “ Faramir what are you doing here?” Antira asked sternly. “ Well, I am here because we must protect one of the villages that will get ambushed by orcs in a matter of time. What are you doing here?” Faramir asked impatiently.

Legolas: Duh! I’m defending a random foreign village. You act like I have duties to my own people or something.

++Antira looking very offended said “ I can come when I please. I have come to give you some news about your Father Lord Denethor. Faramir, he is dead!” She finished looking around at the army who was talking uncontrollably now. “ Everyone. SHHHH!” Faramir yelled to his army. “ What do you mean dead? “ Faramir asked.

Frodo: It’s what happens when you stop being alive, moron.

++“ I mean dead. Gone. Amaia ( In elvish ).

Legolas: Why are you speaking elvish to him? He doesn’t speak elvish.
Antira: I don’t know. I guess the author thought it would sound cool.

++He is gone Faramir. You must take the thrown until I or Aragorn son of Arathorn comes to claim it!” Antira said. “ But Faramir. I need one of your men to take a message to the Fellowship. You there....” Antira said pointing to one of the soldiers. “ Take the horse of Faramir and tell them that I have found Faramir and to come immediately. Go now!” Antira finished leaving Faramir and his sad face behind her by his army.

Frodo: Wow, way to take charge, kiddo.
Antira: Thanks.

++The Fellowship arrived at the hall 3 days later. They had obviously stopped to rest a lot along the way. The horses were exhausted,

Antira: The horses were exhausted?
Legolas: But they stopped to rest along the way.
Frodo: A lot.
Antira: (sigh)

++they all needed some food because they were just about to collapse and they were just about to go into a fight so they needed their strength to fight in this. They finally ate, slept and talked about what had happened. Faramir hardly said anything. He was still in disbelief of the death that had come to his father. When they tried to get him to talk he just sat there. “Faramir, I am as sad as you are but you cant be silent for the rest of your life. Come now. Aimania tortilandia archamina toi a ma caldi miche orh ed formi. Remember?”

Legolas: (rolling on the floor laughing)
Antira: Get up. You look ridiculous.
Frodo: You’ve got to admit, that’s pretty funny. What the hell are you saying?
Legolas: Tortilandia? Isn’t that some kind of Mexican food?

++Antira said as she sat beside him with her hand in his. “Yes Antira. I remember. That is the phrase that you taught me when I was 3. Right before you ran away.” He said looking down at his feet. “Faramir, do you remember what it means though?” Antira added. Faramir sat there with his head down and said “It means never give up no matter how hard things seem, they are not impossible. But what does that have to do with this? That is just a mire saying.” He finished looking into Antira elvin eyes.

Legolas: A mire saying. It’s only important to us mire elves.
Frodo: (snicker)
++“Faramir, I know that saying is easier than being done but life goes on with or without those people that we loose. Its not impossible to move on and moving on means never giving up. Tell that to yourself whenever you think about your father.” Antira said in a soft voice. Faramir was silent for seconds afterwards. “Maybe you are right. Maybe that wiser at an old age saying that you told me before is kicking in!” Faramir said elbowing her very softly.

Frodo: Let’s repeat that last sentence, just so the folks at home can appreciate it.
Legolas: Maybe that wiser at an old age saying that you told me before is kicking in.
Antira: I’m convinced. The author must be assassinated.

++They all laughed as they walked out the door to the battle. Heading down to the village was not an easy thing because of the rough terrain that Rohan had. Moving around the hills, up and over, down and under and more was more confusing than anything!

Legolas: Anything except this story, that is.
Frodo: Naturally.

++They got lost once or twice and had to retrace their steps back the their exact position of where they were before they got lost! The battle against the orcs. They knew that this wasn’t going to be easy from the experience that they had had with the orcs. But if they did win, they would take their bodies and burn them in a big ball of fire.

Frodo: Oooh. Pretty.

++That would surly get Saruman’s attention.

Legolas: Surely get his attention?
Antira: Or get his surly attention?
Frodo: (giggle)

++When they arrived, Eowen, Eomer and Faramir went to meet their army since they took a longer way to the battle.

Frodo: What the hell? They took a longer way?
Legolas: And it’s probably safe to assume that there was no reason for that.

++Getting ready, Antira moved her way towards Legolas. “ This wont be easy.” Legolas said sensing that she was there looking down at his bow. “I know.” She said sitting down beside him on the rock. “I know. But we must not give in. Even if the Fellowship is the only team standing. We must not give in.” Antira said as she placed her cold freezing hand on his shoulder and bending over to look at him. “If worst comes to worst, we will let the Hobbits go to Mordor and we will stay and fight. If that is what we need to do, then it will be done. We cannot lose this battle by surrendering. We lose by dying strong with our bows, daggers, swords and ax’s at our side.” Antira finished as Aragorn joined in on their little conversation.
Antira: I’ve been taking motivational speech lessons from Gandalf again.

++Antira just looked up at him and she seemed to read his eyes. He was worried too. What if Frodo was killed. What if they lost to the orcs and the ring was taken back to Sauron. What if they killed them all. Dying was a word that everyone feared.

Legolas: Unless they have eternal organs.
Antira and Frodo: (giggle)

++But the Fellowship would stand proud to live or to die for Middle-earth It was like saying “I will serve my people, my Lord, my friends. I will fight till death will call on me to give my life for everyone else in this country.” the then you hold your sword up tight against your neck, to show that you will sacrifice yourself if needs be. Then say... “I sacrifice myself to save the race of Men, Elves, Dwarves, Wizards and Hobbits when my time is to end.”

Antira: (laughs so hard she bursts a blood vessel)
Frodo: (laughs so hard he pops a lung)
Legolas: (laughs without injury, due to the durability of his eternal organs)

++Aragorn and Antira held each others gaze for just seconds when Legolas and Antira looked to the North East to hear the sound of rushing feet. They knew and the rest of the army knew, that it was time. Time for those humans to sacrifice themselves for the freedom of Middle-Earth. Terrible thing to do, but if for freedom, let them come.
Then Antira got up in front of the army with the rest of the Fellowship, Faramir, Eomer and Eowen at her side and said “Give us freedom......or let there be war!”

Antira: Give me liberty or give me death!
Frodo: They can never take our freedom!
Legolas: