Another day.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No money is made off it, no harm is intended.

Part Two

Sean opens the door when he knocks, stare as he eyes everything warily. He almost looks as though he’s ready to bolt.
“I’ll be next door.”
Sean smiles at me, he’s still unsure if he should leave, he wanted to stay but I know Orli won’t talk if he’s here. Nod and tell him thanks. I really do appreciate him lending me his room. I can’t see his face as he turns to Orlando but I can imagine the warning written there. He doesn’t trust him, none of them do, not after…

Hear the door click shut. He’s standing alone holding a coffee tray, two tall cups with the Starbucks logo. With the other hand he’s loosening his scarf. Frown, he’s also wearing a woollen, winter coat. He looks flushed, like he’s been walking around in the snow.
“You’re not staying here?”
His head jolts up, hurt look till he registers it’s a question, not a statement or a dismissal.
“No, I’m staying in a place across town.”
“You walked over? In this weather?”
It’s snowing heavily outside. He nods, going place now the ice induced flush is wearing off.
“Thankyou…that…I mean. Just thankyou.”
“I bough you coffee.” Holding it up but moving no further into the room.
Smile softly and gesture for him to come sit with me at Sean’s little round table with the cushy seats. He’s still w but but at least the neutral mask from last night has gone. He’s unsure why he’s here, why I suddenly want to talk. now now after all this time? We’ve been avoiding each other for months. Watch him move carefully forward so as no to spill the coffee. He puts it on the table then strips off his coat. It’s wet. How far is his hotel from here? Watch as he looks around for somewhere to hand it to dry. He settles on the hat stand near the door and after taking off the scarf joins me at the table.
“How are you doing?” soft with concern as he takes a seat to my right.
“Better. Dom forced half the menu down my throat for breakfast but I’m alright, just a little tired.”
‘That’s what you said last night, then you collapsed.”
Turn away from the worry in his face and take my coffee. It slides from the cardboard holder with great reluctance. In the end I need both hands to get it free without spilling it.
“It’s good you have someone to take care of you.” Quiet.
He’s not even reaching for his coffee. Look down at his hands and they’re pale.
“How have you been?” ask him carefully.
“Busy.” Simple, totally avoiding my point.
Sip the coffee, it’s good, always is.
“You should try this, it’s great.”
“I don’t really feel like it.” So quiet.
He stares at his pale fingers twisting together in his lap. I’m reaching across and covering them before I can rethink the notion. He starts, stares up at me shocked. He’s not the only one. His hands are freezing.
“You’re freezing!” gasp at him.
Put my coffee down and grab his, wrestle with the er ter till it gives it up. Nudge the warm cup into his hands.
“Just…just hold it. Even if you don’t drink it.”
“I was worried about you…last night. Is this my fault? Did I do this to you? God you scared me, one minute you were talking then you were gone, like…like…”
His eyes so wide and I can only imagine how frightened he was.
“It wasn’t your fault. I’ve just been so busy, haven’t eaten for days, at least not properly, you know what it’s like.”
“I’m sorry Elijah.” So solemn and for a moment I’m scared he’s going to leave.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” the words just blurting out.
Shit! This isn’t how I planned it.
“Tell you what?” unsure, wary, scared.
“About her, that you slept with her, why didn’t you tell me?”
Watch the panic dawn in his eyes, but for once he doesn’t side step or get defensive.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. It was a stupid mistake. I regretted it so much I just wanted to forget about it. You didn’t deserve the pain.”
“I wish you’d have told me.” No accusations, just a wish. A regret. “I wish I didn’t have to hear it from her.”
“I’m still so sorry Elijah. I never meant to hurt you.”
Sigh softly.
“I get that now.” Meeting his eyes.
“Is that…is that why you wanted to talk? To ask me why?” his eyes searching.
“No.” can’t elaborate just yet, the words stuck in my throat.
Notice his hair has all grown back, luscious dark chocolate curls. Shadows of a goatee. Fine lines of dark hair. He’s more beautiful to me now then he ever was, he just amazes me. Skin so smooth, so soft. Watch him swallow hard. His throat constricting and expanding over the collar of his shirt.
“Did you..?” meet his eyes again. “Did you want to ask me anything else?” unsure.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Watch tears prick his eyes.
“Then that’s it then.” Voice thick, hoarse.
“No, because I’m sorry for all the pain we’ve caused to each other. I was hurt and between the two of us we destroyed something…something…” chg ong on the words, I can’t even begin to explain what he meant to me, what he still means.
“It’s alright. I understand.” Weary.
“No you don’t!” didn’t mean to be so sharp. “I mean…you don’t…that’s no what I’m trying to say.”
“What do you mean then? What are you trying to tell me?” gentle, coaxing.
But the words are stuck. His eyes searching, trying to read me, yet trying also to stay behind his walls. So many, many walls.
“We can’t keep on like this. I miss you‘I n‘I need you.’ But I can’t tell him that.
“I want…I want us to try something.”
Try to re-catch my breath, my calm even as tears spill from his eyes. Drop after pure drop.
“What do you want me to do?”
His hands are shaking, his vostrastrained.
“I want to go back to the beginning, start again.”
Shock, incomprehension. Sip my coffee to wet my dry mouth, but end up scalding my tongue. Shouldn’t have gulped.
“I don’t understand. How can we…?”
“We…” take a deep breath, I have to explain this properly or the idea is going to die before it’s born. “We go back to being friends…”
Don’t get any further cause he sobs like I’ve just ripped out his heart. Drop to the floor and kneel by his chair. Carefully take the coffee from his hands and put it back behind me on the table. Take his hands in mine. He won’t look at me.
“Listen to me. Orli please? Just trust me for a moment.”
Stroke his now warm fingers.
“We’ll go out, like we used to. Dates. Do you remember?”
Shaky nod and watery eyes, unsure, shattered, trying desperately to rebuild his walls. I have to explain before he gets them up again.
“I want to do back to that. Let us re-build what we had. Start at the beginning like we were just starting for real. No shagging. Just…just rebuilding. I think we both need that. To rebuild the trust. And to get over all the pain. To remember why we…”
‘fel lov love.’ But I can’t say it.
But he’s nodding, almost smiling through the tears. Shift and slide between his legs to wrap my arms around his waist; feel his shaky fingers in my hair as I rest my cheek against his stomach.

We stay like this, I don’t know how long. But his hands aren’t shaking any more, he’s just stroking so softly, fingers in my hair.
Hear the sudden click of the door opening. Look up but realize the tables in the way, I can’t see who it is.
“What are you…?” furious.
Oh shit, it’s Dom! And I know thi this looks, me here on my knees.
“How could you…?”
Feel Orlando tense, his hand still.
“It’s alright.” Try to get up and bang my head. Well more like Orli’s fingers but I would have if his hand hadn’t been there. “Oww.” Rub my head but catch his hand, still holding, protecting.
Scramble out from under the table and stand between a raging Dom and Orli.
“It’s alright Dom, it’s not what you think, we were just talking.”
“Talking? What with you on your knees?”
He’s holding back, wants to say worse, hurt Orli but I can’t let him, he has to understand it was innocent.
“We were just talking, that’s all. Talking.” Appeal to him. “I just…I needed to Dom.”
Oops, wrong this to say.
“No, no! Dom listen to me.” But he tries to push past, get at Orli but I hold him. Suddenly in his arms. Shit, lost my footing but it seems to have woken him up. He’s holding me tight, supporting my weight against his chest.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean, shit I’m an idiot Lij.”
“It’s alright, no one got hujustjust back off a bit.”
He relaxes a little, lets me find my feet. Turn to look at Orli but he’s staring at his lap.
“We were just talking, okay?” face Dom.
He nods, knows I won’t ever lie to him.
“Are you alright? I just came to check, Sean left you guys an hour ago.”
We’ve been here a whole hour?
“I’m alright. We’re fine, haven’t argued or anything.”
He wipes a thumb over my cheek, dry tear tracks. He’s frowning, angry. Lean forward and hug him.
“It’s alright. Everything’s alright.”
“Okay.” Feel him relax. “Okay but if yeed eed me?”
“I know.” Smile at him. “Thanks.”
Feel him pull away and watch him leave.

Orlando’s silent. Turn back to him but re-take my seat. After awhile he picks up his coffee and sips.
“Do you think it could work? My idea?” ask him quietly.
“Could you really trust me again?”
He sounds so hopeful, eyes desperate.
“I could learn to. Could you learn to trust me, I mean I did some horrible things to hurt you too?”
Pain, fleeting then he’s nodding.
“I’d like to try. But I’m going away, I won’t see you for months.”
“The Ned Kelly thing?”
He nods. Watch the hope fade from his eyes.
“I’ll call you. I want you to understand, this isn’t a second chance, you don’t have to win me back. This is about us. The two of us starting again, you don’t have to do all the chasing; you don’t have to do all the work. If this is going to work it’ll be both of us, equally.”
He nods.
“I like you idea.” Soft smile. “But what are we going to do, I mean I’ll be gone for at least six weeks before I get a break?”
“I’ll call you, we’ll see what happens from there.”
“Does this mean…” watch a faint blush rise to his pale cheeks, too pale. “Does this mean I can’t touch you?”
His eyes suddenly piercing.
“Would you be able to stop?” try not to smirk and almost make it work.
“No.” honest.
“Then don’t try. We just have to be careful, move slow, don’t jump ahead of ourselves.”
He nods, seems relieved.
“Alright. Good.”
He glances at his watch and sighs.
“I should go. I have a meeting later.” Wistful suddenly. “I miss you. Miss having you with me.” Soft confession. “I wont hurt you again, I promise.” Eyes unguarded, deep, sincere. I could drown in those eyes.
“I know.”
Watch him stand and I follow him as he gets his coat and scarf. He pauses before he hugs me.
“I still love you.” Whispered in my ear before he kisses my lips soft, chaste.
“I love you too.” Stroke his cheek and he sighs, feel him finally relax fully.
Sigh into his body and he kisses me again, so soft, so sweet a little less chaste this time. It was never like this before, never so soft or so sweet. Overwhelming, feels like I’m drowning in him a so so long. His tongue the barest flicker at my lips then inside, making me moan into his warm mouth, hold him closer. His hands cradle my face, fingers caressing till he stops breathless.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I…” frightened.
“It’s alright. It’s okay, just…I don’t think we should do that again. At least not until we’ve sorted somingsings. Or I’m never going to stop you.”
Feel his blush as he kisses my cheek and pulls away. I let him go.
“I’ll see you later.” Softly smiling now.
Find myself smiling back.
“Yeah.”
Let him go and he slides out the door, leaving me with the taste of him on my lips, his warmth on my skin.

tbc...