Undone

Haldir could stand this no longer. He strode towards the seneschal
and placed a firm hand on the elf's shoulder.

"Look at me," he commanded, his voice quaking with anger and a
suffering he could not temper.

Glorfindel turned slowly, his anger still just below the surface. He
would not be prodded to fight.

Glorfinel raised his blue eyes to meet Haldir's. " Alright....I'm
looking."

Haldir gripped the elf's shoulder a bit more tightly than he had
intended, but met his gaze with unflinching resolve.

"Look into my eyes as I speak these words, Glorfindel, and try to
listen to my heart as it speaks to yours. Never would I rationally
commit such an act against another of my kind. NEVER! How can I look
upon you here before me now without recalling the revulsion of that
which I cannot even conceive? How can I say that I am. . ." Haldir
paused, wanting to say more, wanting to extend the apology, however
dumbfounded it may sound, but the words stuck in his throat in a
bitterly sharp lump.

He let his hand fall to his side, releasing the elf's shoulder and
turned away abruptly, one hand pressed to lips as if silencing himself
from further worsening what was already proving to be a fruitless
endeavor. No, he would not break. Not here. Not now. Not like
this. A shuddering sigh escaped him as he said stiffly, "I shall
leave you to your thoughts."

Glorfindel was speechless, never had he heard such raw emotion utter
from Haldir's mouth. He was apologizing, more than that, he was
agonizing, over what had transpired in the baths. His body all but
sagged with theght ght of the expression. The seneschal could barely
keep his own emotions in check, for he had never seen this proud
Galadhrim in such a vulnerable state. Glorfindel was as much to
blame....had he not had the injured Elf at his blade point threatening
to cut short his breath.

" Haldir....mellon....I too, am sorry for what transpired between us.
The darkness set a fog upon my sense of proper action, and I feel
that I am as much to blame for our tense relation as you. Please
mellon, do not despair so."

Haldir straightened his shoulders, his back still to the seneschal as
the other elf now laid a hand upon him. "I am not. . . despairing,"
he said a bit shortly. "I am. . " The power of speech suddenly
eluded him and he could not recall the words that he had intended to
speak . A strangled gasp of a stifled sob escaped him despite his
efforts to muffle it with his hand.


Glorfindel felt the Elf 's shoulders tremble beneath his hand., a sob
breaking forth, in denial of pent up emotion. Glorfindel pulled the
March Warden back against his body, wrapping his arms around the Elf's
shaking shoulders, whispering words meant to comfort.

"Do not seek to hide your pain, Haldir. Give it release."

Haldir felt the warmth of the seneschal's body pressed against his
back as the other elf held him tightly. He wanted to pull himself
from Glorfindel's embrace, to snarl that he did not need to release
anything of the sort, but instead, a wracking sob heaved his chest and
he cried out in anguish, "Aiya, mankio?!" (oh, why!?)

The seneschal could barely contain his own grief, for he had asked
that question in the dark of his own despair many times. Why
indeed... and the answer whispered back on the night air was always
the same. *Because it is so....*

Glorfindel turned the sobbing elf to face him, and raised his chin
with his hand forcing the other's dark gaze to his.

"There is no answer that will heal your heart Haldir of Lorien, but
may you take comfort in what ease I can give" The seneschal leaned
down and brushed his lips softly against the Galadhrims' mouth..