The Ties That Bind Us

Disclaimer: see chapter 1.


Chapter 2: Flashbacks

Glorfindel's eyes closed in pain, Annanel's hand tightened on his thigh as Shar suddenly cried out in Haldir's arms. The red-head had been quiet for an hour, recovering from the physical and emotional impact of the near-severance of their bond from Haldir's rash actions. The momentary respite was broken by Shar's harsh cries.

Ann buried her face in Glory's shoulder, a single tear escaping her tightly closed eyes. She knew exactly what was happening and was not a bit surprised. Glorfindel held her closer as she whispered for his ears, "Flashback. Probably the gang rape."

Shar struggled in Haldir's protective embrace, crying out in apparent pain. She beat at the Marchwarden's chest, trying to push him away, crying out loudly. Her hands flailed out in multiple directions as if warding off multiple opponents.

Haldir pulled her closer, his arms around hers so her hands rested against his chest. The Marchwarden hissed as he felt her long nails dig into his exposed skin, but refused to let go. Having previously experienced her reaction to this flashback he knew it was not him she was fighting. Her eyes were still tightly closed and she had not yet awakened, murmuring "No no no…"

Haldir ignored the pain and the blood that had begun to well under her nails. He gently shook his lover, speaking in a louder, more commanding voice, "Shar, Honey, you have to wake up. You're safe. They're gone. No one will hurt you here." The Marchwarden choked on that last, guilt rising and new tears threatening in his eyes.

Haldir realized that Shar's night-shirt was soaked through as she shivered violently. The red-head's nails suddenly released their hold on Haldir's chest. Shar's eyes fluttered open, her gaze fixing on the elf holding her. She immediately started weakly pulling away, new tears spilling from her eyes.

Haldir hugged Shar tight, not letting go. Not letting go. He whispered softly, "Shhhh. Everything will be okay. My heart, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Shhhh." Shar closed her eyes still trying to pull away, her struggles weakening as chilled tremors rippled through her.

I need to get her out of these wet clothes and warm her up. His strength returning with his resolve Haldir picked her up and headed for the bathroom. Her arms instinctively snaked around his neck as he carried her.

Glorfindel made to get up and stop Haldir but Ann's hand on his arm stayed his movement. The seneschal followed her eyes to the droplets of moisture coming off Shar's apparel. Ann spoke quietly, "She's wet and cold. Haldir knows if she stays that way she will get sick. The fastest way to warm her is a bath."

Once Haldir passed them the two stood and followed him into the bathroom, one standing on each side of the doorway. They watched as Haldir gently placed Shar on the toilet seat, tucked her hair behind her ears and wiped her tears away with light strokes of his thumbs. Glory and Annanel were hesitant to leave the two alone despite the intimacy of the situation.

Haldir kissed Shar's forehead and held her tight. He kept one arm curled about her waist as he reached down to run the bath, adding an amount of liquid from a nearby bottle to the bottom of the tub.

Shar shivered, her arms wrapping around her midsection, the wet clothes sticking to her skin. Her eyes closed, she started, a gasp escaping her lips as she felt a light kiss on the tip of her nose. She consciously tried not to cringe at the touch.

Ann tried to keep her rising anxiety at bay. She reached out her hand to take Glorfindel's, twining her fingers with his, receiving a reassuring squeeze in response. Both sets of eyes were glued to the scene unfolding before them.

I can't NOT touch you. Haldir leaned forward as the tub filled and very gently - almost not - touched his lips to Shar's. He backed off to see her response, his hands resting lightly on her hips. I don't want to frighten you but I need to be able to touch you if I'm going to bathe you.

Shar bit her lip. As she opened her eyes, a tear escaped one. The expression on her face was one of a deer caught in headlights.

Still hesitant, Haldir moved forward extremely slowly and lightly kissed the tear away, backing off again. The Marchwarden observed Shar as she watched him silently, following him with her eyes, neither recoiling nor responding to him. Haldir turned the faucet off. The water was done; the tub filled with bubbles piled high.

At that moment Ann cleared her throat and spoke up, directing her statement at Shar. "You need ANYTHING Glory and I'll be right outside, ok?" The brunette waited as Shar slowly met her gaze, the red-head's eyes conveying gratitude and slight apprehension. Ann nodded and pulled Glory away from the door, shutting it behind them.

Shar turned her gaze back to Haldir and watched the elf, silently waiting to see what he would do next. The calming scent of rose mingled with jasmine saturated the air around them.

Still moving hesitantly Haldir ran the back of one finger along Shar's face and down her jaw line. He looked at the water and then at her, slowly running his hands down to the bottom of the wet flannel nightshirt.

Reading the question in his eyes Shar unwrapped her arms from her midsection, letting them hang limply by her sides, eyes downcast.

Haldir slowly, gently undid the nightshirt, sliding it down her arms to the floor. He then placed his hands on her shoulders, just looking in her eyes. She instantly dropped his gaze looking down again, not meeting his eyes. He sighed, sliding one arm under her knees, the other around her back, lifting her and slowly lowering her into the bathwater.

Shar slid down in the tub, dipping her head under water to wet her hair and then reached for the soap. Haldir stopped her with a hand over hers. She sat up, leaning forward, looking straight ahead.

Haldir took liquid from a bottle and put shampoo on her hair, massaging it into lather. He could feel her shiver at his touch, her eyes closing tight, body held rigid. He murmured softly to her, "Shhhhh. It's okay. I won't hurt you. Please let me take care of you." She stayed immobile, letting him wash her hair, eyes still closed, but not as tightly.

The Marchwarden carefully circled his fingers to massage her scalp murmuring over and over again how sorry he was. She seemed to relax slightly into his touch, though her posture was still somewhat stiff, face relaxed.

Haldir lightly swept the suds off her forehead and away from her face. She flinched slightly when his hand brushed her face. You probably weren't expecting that. He wasn't really washing her hair anymore, rather just massaging tension away. He wanted desperately to make Shar feel better.

Shar leaned back in the water, sliding down so only her face was out of the water, opening hazel eyes to meet blue ones. She was surprised when Haldir held her gaze, apparently not daring to look away. She looked away first, fixing her eyes on the ceiling, a sigh escaping her slightly parted lips.

The Marchwarden slowly stood and moved to the other end of tub to where her feet were resting, gently touching the left foot and waiting to see her reaction, still gazing intently at her. He was surprised and mentally smacked himself as she yanked her foot away sliding back up in the tub, glaring at him.

Shar muttered, "You know I hate having my feet touched." She looked down at her hands resting in her lap, instantly sorry she spoke.

Haldir moved back up to the head of the tub and just sat, humming softly. What do I do next?

Shar looked at the elf from the corner of her eye. She brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. I'm so used to him being in here with me. A loud sigh escaped her lips as she rested her forehead against her kneecaps, consciously missing the familiar feeling of the elf's weight behind her.

Haldir watched her and drew in a short breath, suddenly realizing what was so strikingly different about this bath compared to the others they took. Sending a silent prayer to the Valar that he was right, Haldir slid off his sweat pants and sat on the back of the tub with just his legs in the water. He hesitated for a moment before slowly sliding down and settling in behind her.

Haldir hesitantly leaned back into the familiar position behind her and slowly placed his arms on the edges of the tub, debating whether or not to put them around her. He noticed she didn't visibly move, but seemed to shift imperceptibly back towards him.

Shar waited. Does he just plan on sitting there? A sigh whispered out from between her knees as a shiver raced up her spine.

A faint smile crossed Haldir's lips, as he wrapped his arms around her. Reaching out with one foot he turned on the hot water to warm up the now lukewarm water.

Shar allowed herself to be pulled back against Haldir, his hands resting on her upper arms. She relaxed as he ran his hands up and down her arms softly, whispering I love you over and over. She hardly noticed when he circled his legs around her to engulf her fully in his embrace. Instead she let her chin rest against her chest, eyes closed, breathing shallowly, consciously pushing down the fear that kept trying to rise to the forefront of her mind.

Haldir whispered, "Please trust me, I'm so, so sorry. Please be okay. I was so wrong. I love you." He softy stroked up and down Shar's arms, pausing to slightly massage her neck and shoulders, ever gauging her reaction.

A shudder ran through her as she successfully pushed back the encroaching darkness and fell limply back against Haldir's chest, head turning to the side so her face rested against his skin.

A faint smile crossed Haldir's face and he gently ran his index finger along her face, amazed at her beauty even in this situation. I am so in love. Haldir's eyes closed as Shar took a deep breath, rubbing her cheek slightly against his skin, her hands dropping to rest against his thighs. His breath caught and he leaned his head back, just reveling in the sensation of her against him. Right where we belong.

Shar slid back against him, tucking her head under his chin, hands firmly gripping his thighs reflexively, inciting a reaction she was not looking for.

The Marchwarden realized just looking at her and being close to her his body was reacting. I don't want to scare you away. He tried to relax. She was firmly gripping his thighs. Oh sweet Elbereth, he thought with a faint inward moan.

Shar felt him hardening at her back and jerked away. Gods, it's always sex. Even when that's what got us here, all he wants to do is fuck me. Shoulda got him an inflatable doll for Christmas instead of that compound bow.

No. No. No. No. Self control. There we go. Just relax. That's it... okay. Better. She probably thinks I want to fuck her... I don't. Not right now. Only want to comfort her. Hopefully she can feel my self control winning over.

Shar sat forward in the bath, letting the water rise over her shoulders, disgusted with herself. It's always sex. She suppressed a sob. They never really want me, they just say they love me to get in my pants and I believe it over and over. She banged her forehead against her knee. Stupidstupidstupidstupid…

Haldir leaned forward stopping Shar's head banging motion. "I love you for you. I can't live without you. You have this effect on my body, but my soul cries out for you. Please. I am nothing without you. I am bound to you. I did not know love until I loved you. You are the very air I breathe."

Shar tried to listen to his words, allowing him to draw her back against his chest, disbelief still clouding her mind, memories of the past rearing their ugly heads. Other voices from Shar's memory: I was marrying a Lieutenant not an Airman... Could you make my transition back to bachelorhood easier? (Your best friend who I fucked the same day I proposed to you finally dumped me)....

Haldir whispered in her ear, "Shhhhh. I know what you are thinking. Please don't. I made a mistake... a huge mistake. I am not like that. We are not like that. You are my everything. My everything... my heart... my soul... my life." He softly stroked her hair. "I want to replace every bad memory with a new one, a happy one. Whatever you want. Anything."

Shar shivered under his touch, waiting for whatever he planned to do next. She moved as he placed a finger under her chin and shifted her head up so their eyes met, his thumb lightly stroking her bottom lip. She hesitantly met his gaze, afraid of what she'd see there.

Haldir tried desperately to convey how much he loved her with his eyes, pouring all his love, all his compassion, all his respect, all his everything into that one look.

Shar released a shuddering breath as she closed her eyes, unable to handle the sheer volume of emotion shining in the elf's eyes. She waited for his next move, hoping he didn't interpret her reaction as a dismissal.

The Marchwarden recognized the look on her face. I know her so well. How I could so wrongly have interpreted things earlier? He quickly shoved that thought to the back of his mind. That is the past. This is the future. She is my future.

He stilled the movement of his thumb on her lower lip for a moment and then softly stroked it again, tracing her lower lip. He moved along her chin and slowly down her neck to rest where it curved to her shoulder.

A shuddering breath escaped Shar's slightly parted lips as Haldir reached down, placing a feather-light kiss on her lips before raising back up to gage her reaction. She almost cried out as his lips left hers.

A tear escaped Haldir's right eye and fell softly down his cheek, landing on hers before slowly running over her face and trickling down her neck to the swell of her breast, making its way slowly to meet with the warm bath water.

Shar's eyes opened as she felt something wet hit her upturned face. Looking up she realized Haldir was crying, tears welling in her own reddened eyes in response.

Haldir dropped his head to capture the tears on her face with his lips before they could make paths of their own, catching first one and then another. He spoke softly, "Please don't cry, my heart. Too many tears have you shed this night because of me. I would kiss every one of them away before you have need to shed them."

Shar gasped as his lips contacted her closed lids, her form trembling in his arms.

Haldir felt her trembling and tightened the embrace. He kissed every tear that threatened to fall. He kissed her nose, her forehead, her cheek, and softly, slowly brought his lips to hers in an questing kiss, wanting nothing more than to make her feel better.

She released a held breath as his lips finally met hers. Her lips parted slightly in silent invitation as Haldir began the sweetest kiss of her life, speaking volumes without saying a word. He kissed her, mouth slightly open, conveying urgency, not of need but of comfort and love and understanding. He rotated his head to match hers perfectly.

Haldir whimpered inwardly at the tenderness of her kiss in spite of everything as she answered his kiss in kind, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. He touched her hands on his shoulders and slid his hands down her arms. He rested them on her shoulders for a moment before falling to the small of her back.

He was so relieved at her answer with this kiss. How did I get so lucky? Thank the Valar. He mirrored her kiss, letting her lead, knowing he would follow her anywhere.

Shar suddenly noticed the chill that had overtaken the water and began shivering uncontrollably despite the heat from their kiss.

How could I have missed that? With one foot he deftly removed the drain from the tub and with the other turned on the hot water. When enough water had been released he put the drain back in with his foot. So bewitched was he by the kiss he hadn't noticed the goose bumps all over his own body. Should I carry her to bed?

Shar still shivered as the cold had permeated her body.

Haldir softly chuckled, shifting back to look into her eyes with a gentle smile. He raised himself up and carefully stepped out of the tub. He didn't allow her to get out by herself, lifting her and wrapping a huge fluffy towel around her. He set her feet on the mat and began to carefully dry her off head to toe, not missing a single drop. He grabbed a towel for himself quickly and dried off.

The Marchwarden peeked out to see if Glorfindel and Annanel had left. Still there, just like they said they would be. He softly smiled and gestured that it was okay for them to go home nodding his sincere thanks.

Shar stuck her head out around Haldir, giving Ann and Glory a weak smile. The two nodded to Shar before leaving, both throwing a parting nasty look in the former Marchwarden's direction. The message was clear from Ann, Fuck with her again and I'll rip your balls off myself.

Haldir nodded in understanding knowing he deserved that. He stood up straight when they had gone and picked her up, carrying her to the bed… their bed. He laid her down gently and covered her with a soft down blanket. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited.

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