Making Up for Lost Time

“If Bean was here you would go with us.” Orli sounds like a petulant child, actually he sounds like Henry when I lecture him about not wanting him to watch television. The idea of that makes me laugh.

Orlando stands there staring at me.

“I guess you are right, Orli I probably would if Bean was here.” Then something happens to me, my laughter changes, my chest gets tight, my throat suddenly tightens up and I begin to cry…actually to sob.

“Christ, Viggo are you alright?” Orli says racing over the few feet and dropping down in front of where I sit.

This must be freaking the hell out of the boy, as it is me, I am sitting there on this horrible green couch in the makeup trailer with my shoulders hunched in full Aragorn costume my sword in my lap crying like a fucking baby.

Poor Orli isn’t sure what to do so he moves my sword out of the way and then pulls me into his arms. I bury my face against him and shud

“Is it Helms Deep?” He asked.

“I…d…d…don’t know.” I say between sobs. Christ I am really sobbing can’t even talk for sobbing.

Then he pulls me away from him and looks in my eyes that I am sure are red rimmed and glossy looking.

“Oh Viggo…that’s not it at all is it? Not really…it’s miserable yes, but it’s, it’s Bean isn’t it? You miss him don’t you?” I start to shake my head to deny it. Grown men don’t sit and cry like a baby just because they miss their friend. Well maybe if they felt like they were in hell they did? Helms Deep was certainly hell on Middle-Earth.

He looks at me pitifully then and says, “Why are you doing this to yourself? I have watched for months now, Viggo. You don’t have to lie to me, I know you love him.”

I sit back very straight and slide back up onto the couch. “I know you love him?” I think about the words. Something I had not wanted to admit to myself Orlando could plainly see. Or did he mean the other way, like a brother, a friend, and family? Shit now I am even more confused. Love…oh fuck I had gone and fallen in love with Sean. Not that I didn’t think that was impossible.

Between shuddering gasps for air I finally say, “Yes.”

Orlando smiles then reaches over onto the table and hands me some tissues which then makes me laugh. So now I am laughing and crying again like a fool. God I must be a sight to behold.

“It’s ok. Remember what you told me when I missed my family and was so down months ago?” Orlando asked.

“Yes.” I said softly as I tried to wipers ors off my face with the proffered tissues. Shit he did mean love as in brothers, friends, and family.

“Give him a call Viggo, it’s not like he is out of reach even if he is on the other side of the planet.” Orlando said softly squeezing my hand.

I nod. I am still not sure. Especially now that I have realized I didn’t just miss my friend but someone I truly loved. Now isn’t that just an awkward fucking conversation in my head? “Hey Sean I miss you, hope you make a safe trip back, can’t wait to see you…oh and by the way I think I am in love with you.” The idea almost makes me laugh…almost.

Orlando must see the struggle on my face and says, “Viggo, you didn’t even know it did you? You didn’t even know you WERE in love with Sean until now did you?”

My mouth dropped open trying to respond but no words came. the the kid wasn’t thinking of a brotherly, friend, and family sort of love. Damn when did Orlando get so wise?

Then Orlando smiles one of his brilliant smiles. “You know he loves you too.”

I stopped fidgeting with the tissue in my hand and looked at Orli like he had grown extra appendages or something.

“What?” I find myself asking.

“Sean is in love with you too…he…he talked to me about it before he left. So after he told me I have been watching you, watching your mood go from bad to worse each day that he is gone. How you have closed yoursoff off from the rest of the cast, how you have been in this world of your own ever since he left. Whenever his name is mentioned I see it all over your face. I knew for sure you loved him a few days ago when Peter mentioned Sean would be back in two weeks…I saw your face light up as if it was the best news you had ever heard. I am sorry for not telling you sooner, may have saved you a lot of pain in the end but I didn’t want to betray Sean. He did tell me in confidence, but he would rather I alleviate your pain than keep his secret.” Orlando was speaking softly squeezing my arm.

My tears are gone now, and I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted from my shoulders.

“Thanks Orli for telling me all this…thanks for understanding.” I say softly because my throat hurts too much to say anything too loud.

“Go home Viggo, take a shower, enjoy the next three weeks off.” Orli says softly.

“Three weeks?” I ask my head snapping up.

“Yeah Peter decided to give everyone time off to recover from Helms Deep…he said we got all the footage we needed finally. We are done!” Orlando said cheerfully.

“Tonight was the last night?” I ask in shock.

“Yeah Peter wanted to surprise everyone, we now have a three week break. He said we could do whatever we wanted with the time, fly home, stay here, just get some rest. Hell even Peter FranFran have decided to escape for a bit from everything. I guess Helms Deep just really wore everyone out.” Orlando said standing up and starting to rock back and forth on the balls of his feet in excitement.

I just stared at him dumbstruck. It’s over…Helms Deep is over.

“You know, you could fly to England…go spend the next two weeks with Sean and then return with him.” Orlando suggested smiling brightly; “you would then still have a week here before having to start back to work yourself. Sean has just a little light work that first week back. I uh took the liberty of checking his schedule.”

I look up at him unsure of all the emotions that just crossed my face. Then he hands me a cell phone. “Call him Viggo…tell him you are coming to see him.”

So I grab the phone and start punching in Sean’s cell number. It rings twice and then I hear the voice I have wanted to hear for two months.

“Hello?” Sean asked.

“Hey Sean it’s Viggo.” ing ing full well my voice was a bit scratchy sounding.

“Hey are you alright? You sound awful.” Sean replies.

“Yes, tonight was the last night of Helms Deep and I am pretty worn out…but I have some great news.” I say smiling at Orli who is grinning at me like a fool.

“Really? Glad to hear it….so what’s the great news?” Sean asks.

“Peter is giving everyone from Helms Deep three weeks off…I thought maybe, if you didn’t have plans…that maybe….” I started but he cut me off.

“Yes, yes, of course…I would love to have you come visit…that would be grand!” Sean says excitedly and I know then that Orlando was certainly telling me the truth.

“Oh…well then I guess I will arrange tickets and get back to you then.” I say rubbing the back of my neck not realizing how much tension had just been released by his response.

“You do that! God, Viggo I have missed you so much.” Sean said in a rush.

“I have missed you too Sean.” I respond softly.

Orlando is beaming at me now. “Talk to you soon then.” I say for lack of anything better.

“Yes, talk to you soon!” Sean says.

I hang up and Orlando takes the phone back punching some keys. “I have my travel agents number stored in here.” Then he hands the phone back the number ready for me to punch “Send”.

“Thanks, Orli.” I say smiling at him.

Two hours later I am on a plane headed for England. There is so much to think about, things I need to tell Sean…to ask him, but I am so exhausted I sleep the entire flight.

When I arrive at Heathrow and disembark the plane I see Sean waiting patiently for me wearing jeans and a green shirt that make his eyes look even greener. He hugs me as soon as I am within arms reach.

“God, Viggo it’s good to see you again!” He says cheerfully. “You know you look like shite.”

I laugh as he assesses me. I bet I do look horrible. “Missed you too, and yeah I feel like shit.”

“Let’s get you home eh?” Sean asks walking with me toward baggage claim.

“Home sounds good.” I say letting him lead the way.

Once in the car Sean looks at my hands. “Jesus Viggo…your hands are all cut up, and what’s this?”

He asks touching the side of my face tenderly where a dark bruise had formed near the corner of my eye.

“I didn’t duck in time.” I say softly.

He shakes his head. “Helms Deep must have really been hell.”

“It was, but it’s over now.” I say smiling at him.

On the drive we talk about shooting and about his girls and Henry and the whole time I relive that tender touch he used earlier. I had wanted so badly to lean into his touch.

Once we arrive at Sean’s house he and I carry my bags in and he leads me straight to the guest bedroom.

“I know you are pretty jet lagged just relax for a while…I have to go out to meet with my solicitor so just make yourself at home.” He says all this the whole time unpacking my bags and placing things in drawers for me. I stand in the center of the room watching him a few seconds before I begin helping.

He shows me the gueath ath and then he leaves for his meeting. I strip down and crawl into the shower then essentially pass out on the bed with just a towel around my waist.

I thought I heard someone calling my name but I decided it was just part of the dream I was having. Then I felt a light touch on my shoulder. “Viggo, wake up.” Sean’s voice said softly.

My eyes fluttered open trying to adjust to the light. “Sean? Your back.” I say trying to sit up.

“Yeah…you feel any better? Feel like eating?” Sean asked backing away from the bed a bit.

I realize then all I have on is a towel and shift trying to keep the proper parts covered. Not quite sure why, I have done nude scenes in movies but this is different. “Uh yeah, haven’t eaten in about 16 hours I think.” I admit finally getting my bearings.

“Good, well come downstairs when you are ready then.” Sean says backing out of the room. I couldn’t help grinning to myself after he left…he had been staring at me…and hony ity it felt damn nice to be looked at that way by Sean.

I pull on clean jeans and a red checked button up shirt and start downstairs. When I follow faint noises into the kitchen I am still buttoning my shirt. I see Sean at the stovetop.

“Hey. How’d it go?” I ask referring to his meeting with his lawyer.

“Well I think. Abby is actually being quite fair…more fair than my first wife that’s for sure.” Sean said dropping some butter into the pan.

d.” d.” I say running my hands through my hair and leaning against the counter.

Sean turns and hands me a cup of tea and then laughs.
“What?” I ask.

“Jesus Viggo you must be out of it…can’t even button your own shirt.” Sean says smiling at me.

I look down and notice that I obviously shouldn’t ever button my shirt as I walk.

He comes over in front of me and I set my cup on the counter beside me. He begins unbuttoning my shirt and re-buttoning it correctly…but he moves slowly…his fingers grazing my chest a bit and even my stomach. I am so tempted to pull him closer but I just grasp the counter top behind me tighter.

“There.” He says and steps back smiling.

I return the smile and then there is a moment where we just stand there smiling at each other like fools. Then he crosses back to the stove and begins cooking again. I find myself watching him move. Sean has always had a kind of quiet grace about him…and now that I have allowed myself to really look I see one small part of why I am in love with him. He is utterly beautiful.

We begin talking about inane subjects and then we sit down to eat. The meal is good…I knew Sean was a good cook; we shared a lot of moments like this before he left.

After dinner we sit in the living room and talk more.

See Next Chapter ---->