Finding Hope

Summary: Feeding a little elfling with a sweet tooth; Elrond & Erynoron get a little more comfortable with each other.

‘____’ indicates self-talk.

Chapter 19

When breakfast arrived, Erestor held Faelion on his lap and mashed up a ripe peach for him. He fed the little elfling a small amount. Faelion squealed happily and opened his mouth for more. Erestor smiled as he gave him more. “Oh, you really like that. Look, Glorfindel, he likes the peach!” The baby opened his mouth for more. Erestor grinned as he continued to feed the happy elfling. “I cannot wait to try cooked apples. Oh, and maybe some mashed ripe strawberries.”

“What a good little elfling he is,” Glorfindel said. “How about trying some porridge?” Glorfindel put a bit of his porridge on the tip of his spoon and got up to feed it to the baby. “Here my little one, try some of Ada’s good porridge.” He put the porridge in Faelion’s mouth. The elfling scrunched up his face, and suddenly the porridge adorned Glorfindel’s face. Erestor and the older elflings burst out laughing, and even Glorfindel had to smile. “Oh, that was not a good little elfling, spitting porridge at Ada,” Glorfindel said, grabbing a napkin and wiping his face.

Erestor took some porridge and mixed it with the mashed peach. “Here, sweetling, try this one,” he said, putting it in the baby’s mouth. Faelion happily ate it and opened his mouth for more. “Ah, you like your porridge sweet, and Ada Glor’s porridge was not sweet. Glorfindel, add some honey to the porridge and let us see if he likes it.”

Glorfindel took some porridge and added some honey to it, then took some more and added some jam to it. “Here, sweetheart. Try these.”

Erestor took a bit of the one with the honey and fed it to Faelion. The baby happily ate it and opened his mouth for more. Erestor next took the porridge with the jam. Faelion happily ate it. Erestor grinned at Glorfindel. “Our little elfling has a sweet tooth, my love.”

Glorfindel chuckled and the other elflings giggled. “Maybe we would have liked porridge better with honey or jam in it, Ada,” Gailion said.

Glorfindel took his porridge and mixed both honey and jam in it, and placed it in front of the elflings. “Try it, little ones. I think you will like it. Faelion likes it.”

Erestor took a spoonful from the bowl for Faelion, as the other elflings tried the porridge. Gailion and Amdiriel looked at each other and smiled. “It is really good, Ada,” Gailion said, dipping his spoon in the bowl again. Glorfindel picked up his spoon and they all shared his porridge.

~~~*~~~
Erynoron awoke to find Elrond seated in a large upholstered chair next to the bed, looking at him with a small smile. The gray eyes twinkled with silver.

“How are you feeling this morning, my friend?” Elrond asked softly. “Better?” Erynoron’s green eyes with the gold specks in them were the most beautiful he had ever seen. He thought he could sit for hours just looking into them, although his face and the rest of the Lothlorien elf’s body were wonderful to look at, too.

“Aye, I believe I do feel better, my…Elrond. You did not sit in that chair all night, did you, my…Elrond? Tell me I did not cause that?” Erynoron said, feeling guilty for being in Elrond’s bed.

Elrond chuckled. Erynoron still could not remember to say his name without starting to say “my Lord” first. He found it adorable. “Nay. I slept for a while on the sofa. It is quite comfortable. Would you like to try and walk this morning? I think you may be ready for that.”

“Aye, my…Elrond. I would like to. I am anxious to begin my work. Surely the work must be stacking up with you caring for me.”

“Nothing of importance. Melpomaen and some of the others are handling the routine items. Do you know Melpomaen?” Elrond asked as he helped Erynoron to sit up.

“Nay, my…Elrond. Only what Erestor has told me of him over the years.” Erynoron felt slightly dizzy sitting up and closed his eyes.

“Tell me what you are feeling, my friend. Nauseous again?” Elrond asked, watching in concern as Erynoron’s eyes closed.

“Nay, just a little dizzy. It is passing, my…Elrond.”

“Good. I am just going to check the wound on the back of your head while you sit for a moment.” Elrond removed the bandages and gently moved the long blond hair out of the way. “It is healed over, and the lump is almost gone. I think we can do away with these bandages now.”

“I think I am ready to try getting up now, my…Elrond. The dizziness is gone.”

Elrond helped Erynoron swing his legs over the edge of the bed. “Go slowly. You may be dizzy again.” Elrond wrapped his arm around the advisor to help him stand.

Erynoron took a tentative step, and felt fine. He slowly walked to the bathroom, with Elrond beside him still supporting him. When they reached the bathroom, Elrond asked, “Will you be all right on your own for a few moments while I find you some clean clothes?” Elrond knew that Erynoron would be embarrassed if he stayed again.

“Aye, my…Elrond. I feel well.” Erynoron was thankful that Elrond would allow him to relieve himself in private this time.

Elrond closed the door behind him and went to his wardrobe to find some clothing. Erynoron was only slightly shorter than he was, so he chose a soft, comfortable bed robe that was not too heavy. The advisor would be comfortable in bed with it, and more comfortable than in a light nightshirt when walking around a bit. Elrond thought perhaps they could spend some time relaxing on the balcony today. He would not be allowing Erynoron to begin work for another two days, just to make sure he was fully recovered, and looked forward to spending the time with him. He took the robe to the bathroom, as well as fresh garments for himself, and lightly tapped on the door. “May I enter, my friend?”

“Aye, my…Elrond,” Erynoron said.

Elrond entered and found the advisor gazing longing at the luxurious bathtub, which was sunk into the floor. The bath was covered with mosaic work in blue, green and gold, the designs echoing the light, open architecture of Imladris. Vials of oils, bottles of sweet smelling soaps, and jars of herbs marched around one side, and plush white towels were stacked at the end. Erynoron was sure he had never seen anything lovelier, other than Elrond himself, and it was calling to him.

Elrond smiled, knowing what Erynoron must be thinking. “Would you like to take a bath, my friend? You must be longing for one by now.”

“Oh, aye. But please, my…Elrond, surely it is time that I moved to my own room? I would not dream of imposing further on you, and I can easily use your public baths.”

“When the time comes, your rooms will have your own private bath, Chief Advisor Erynoron,” Elrond said, reminding the advisor of his status, “but that time is not yet.” Elrond smiled warmly. “Your healer is not yet ready to release you, and you will stay here for at least two more days, resting.” The advisor started to object. “Nay, Erynoron, I am your healer, as well as the Lord of Imladris, and I will hear no more about it.” Elrond looked at Erynoron, smugly.

“Aye, my Lord. I will do as you say.”

“Good. And it is Elrond, remember?”

“Aye, my…Elrond.”

Elrond smiled at hearing Erynoron say “my…Elrond” again. “Now, let us get you in the bath. I am afraid I cannot leave you to bathe alone. It is too soon, and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” Elrond opened the taps to fill the bath with warm water from Imladris’ underground hot springs, and chose oil and soothing herbs, which he added to the water. The room filled with the scent of lavender and rosemary.

Erynoron slowly unbuttoned his nightshirt as he watched Elrond. Oh, he hoped he would not embarrass himself. Thinking how wonderful Elrond was and the tingles he got when the half-elf touched him, he prayed he would be able to control himself.

“Come, Erynoron, your bath is ready,” Elrond said. He helped the advisor remove his nightshirt and led him to the bath. He placed his arm around Erynoron’s waist to help him step down into the bathtub, and heard the advisor draw a sharp breath. “Are you all right, my friend?”

“Aye, my…Elrond,” Erynoron said shakily.

Elrond settled him in the bath, then knelt behind him and rolled up his sleeves. “Let me wash your hair for you, my friend. I do not want you to open your wound again.” He took a pitcher of warm water and poured it slowly over the blonde hair, then added soap and began to gently massage Erynoron’s head. The advisor’s hair was heavy and long, reaching down to his waist, and felt amazingly soft and silky. As he washed and massaged, Elrond daydreamed of holding Erynoron and running his hands through the silken waves as they kissed. He would look into those amazing eyes as he gently stroked a perfect ear, as he ran his fingers lovingly along the lone, pale neck, slowly moving his mouth closer… ‘What am I doing, for Valar sake! I absolutely cannot dream like that while caring for Erynoron. He trusts me as his healer. What if I scare him off? Stop it, you stupid elf. I am a healer and this is my patient.’

Erynoron had never felt anything so nice as Elrond’s hands gently running through his hair, his fingertips softly stroking his scalp. He practically purred, as he relaxed and closed his eyes. He wished he could have Elrond always touching him. ‘You will only make yourself sad, silly elf. What would a great and wise Lord like Elrond ever want with you? Stop torturing yourself. Just be thankful Celeborn sent you to this beautiful place and you will get to work with Elrond for a while.’ Erynoron sighed softly.

“Comfortable, my friend?” Elrond asked.

“Aye, my...Elrond. That feels wonderful.”

Elrond chuckled softly, then poured fresh water over Erynoron’s head to rinse the soap away, and laid the long hair out of the way along the floor. “All done.” He moved around the side of the bath. “My friend, I need a bath as well, and it would be easier for me to wash you if I am in the bath with you. Would you mind if I joined you?” ‘Oh, you idiot. Why did you ask that? Now what are you going to do?’

Erynoron smiled softly at Elrond. He was going to wash him? “Of course not, my…Elrond. I do not mind.” ‘Oh Valar, why did I say that? How are you going to control yourself now, you foolish elf?’

Elrond could not believe his good fortune. Erynoron was going to allow him to join him! He quickly disrobed and stepped into the bathtub.

Erynoron had to bite on his lip to keep from moaning when he saw Elrond’s beautifully proportioned body. His skin was golden, and muscles rippled in his battle-hardened body. His long and shapely legs, the firm muscular thighs…. ‘ Stop it! Do not look! No one will ever want me. He does not want me. I probably look revolting to him. He will never want someone like me. I am nothing but a simple scribe who happened to fall into being chief advisor because there was no one else available. He will never want me.’

Elrond took a cloth and poured soap on it, then began to wash Erynoron, starting with him hands and arms. Erynoron couldn’t help watching Elrond’s eyes. He looked for a sign of disgust or loathing in them, and surprisingly could find none.

Elrond moved the cloth to his chest, and then his sides. Coming across a scar he had not noticed before, he asked, “What is this scar from, my friend? It looks old, but it has never healed completely.”

“It…was from the…claw of a…warg…my…Elrond. Not a very big one, but I am…not…skilled in fighting…or defending myself…and…”

“What happened?” Elrond asked, concerned.

“I was with a guard…he killed it and…saved me,” Erynoron said. He would not tell Elrond that he had really thought he loved that guard. When he had laughed at him and made fun of him in front of all his friends because he could not defend himself properly, it had ended any hopes that Erynoron had of their being a couple.

Erynoron watched Elrond’s eyes again, expecting to see the loathing he knew would be there when the Lord heard he could not defend himself. But all he could see was kindness and concern.

“Thank the Valar you were not injured more seriously,” Elrond said. “I have some cream that we will put on it that should help the scar to fade. It does not look like it was tended to properly at the time. What did the healers do for it?”

“I did not…go to the healers, my…Elrond. I tended it myself.”

“Why,” asked Elrond, amazed.

“I was ashamed…I could not…defend myself against a small warg, my...Elrond.” Erynoron hung his head.

Elrond gently lifted the advisors chin with a finger. “Erynoron, my friend, not all elves have the same gifts or skills. We are not all healers, or warriors, or scribes, or metalworkers. You had nothing to be ashamed of.” It was obvious that the incident had caused Erynoron to doubt his worth. He would just have to help him see that there was no cause for him to doubt himself.

Erynoron looked into Elrond’s kind eyes, the wisest in all of Arda. Could what Elrond said be true?

“You had nothing to be ashamed of, my friend,” Elrond repeated. He smiled gently. “You *have* nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I have nothing to be ashamed of? Truly?” Erynoron whispered. “Do you mean that my Lord?”

“Aye, truly. I would never lie to you, Erynoron. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And it is Elrond. I have become rather fond of your calling me ‘my…Elrond’. I miss it when you do not say it.” Elrond chuckled and grinned at the advisor.

Erynoron grinned back. “Thank you, my…Elrond.” Elrond laughed, and Erynoron thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

“Come on, my…friend. Let us finish this bath before the water gets cold.”

Erynoron laughed at the way Elrond said ‘my…friend’. “Am I truly your friend, my…Elrond?” he asked.

“Aye. I think you and I are going to be very, very good friends, Erynoron.”

Erynoron smiled. “Friends help each other, do they not?” Elrond nodded. Erynoron took the cloth from Elrond’s hand, added more soap, and looked up at the half-elf. “Then may I?” he asked, motioning to Elrond’s chest. Elrond nodded, happily.

Erynoron gently ran the cloth over Elrond’s chest and arms. ‘I cannot believe I am doing this,’ he thought. ‘Where did this…courage…come from? I am probably going to hate myself later when I realize how much I have just embarrassed myself, but I want to do this.’

Elrond took the cloth back, added more soap, and washed Erynoron’s feet and legs. Then Erynoron did the same for Elrond.

As much as he wanted to wash the rest of Erynoron’s beautiful body, Elrond was afraid to do more, fearing that it would shatter this new more comfortable relationship between them. He smiled at Erynoron. “I am starving. I think we both missed dinner last night. Let us get out of here and get dressed and see if our breakfast has arrived.”

Elrond helped Erynoron out of the bath. After drying themselves, Elrond reached for the robes he had brought. “I hope you do not mind wearing my things for now, my friend. Your things were taken to your rooms, but I asked the servants to wait until you moved there before they unpacked anything. I did not want them to disturb anything personal you might have brought without your knowledge.”

“I do not have anything very personal, my…Elrond, but it is most kind of you to concern yourself with me and share not only your rooms but your things with me.”

Elrond almost frowned, but kept his tone light. “Ah, such a diplomatic answer. I thought we were friends, Erynoron.”

“Forgive me, my…Elrond. I am honored to wear your robe…Nay, I mean I thank you for…Nay, I am sorry my…Elrond. What I mean is, I like wearing your robe,” Erynoron nearly whispered and blushed. What a fool he was making of himself.

Elrond chuckled, once more finding Erynoron simply adorable. He helped the advisor into the robe, then dressed himself. “Come, let us see what the servants have left us for breakfast.” Taking Erynoron’s hand, he led him out of the bedroom to the sitting room with its small dining area.

By the time they had finished breakfast, the half-elf realized how kind and wise the advisor was. Elrond was also quite sure that he was very much in love with Erynoron


Tbc…..

HHS - Thanks! Glad you liked it - I think the poopy diapers is one of my favorite chapters!