In the Garden

Title: In the Garden, Chapter 18
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, others implied
Rating: PG-13, but rating will increase in future chapters
Warning: AU (Story set several hundred years after ROTK in Aman); Het.
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: AFF; FF
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Lady Victoria for betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Prof. Tolkien. A quick check of my bank account should prove I’m not making anything off of writing my stories. Sigh!
Summary: Life in the Blessed Land has not been so blessed for Elrond. Can the happiness that has long eluded him be found in the words of a red-bound journal, the help of his scheming friends, and the granting of a wish that none thought possible?

Chapter 18 --- Celebrating Life

Elrond settled back against the tree, watching the other elves moving about the clearing. The past week had taken its toll on each of them, but he was pleased to see the lines of grief marking each face had begun to ease. His eyes, as had become their habit, sought and found Meril seated across the glade between her aunt and his mother. He found it amusing that both his mother and grandmother had taken her into their care, perhaps sensing the lack of maternal support she received from her own mother. He had not, however, missed the subtle matchmaking they had joined into with the rest of his family.

/How did I miss the signs for so long? Perhaps they realize they have a willing target in me and are no longer making as much effort to hide their scheming. I am willing… very willing, Valar help me! Humm… that is no longer the simple phrase it has always been. I do, quite literally, need the Valar’s help if I am to have my chance with Meril,/ he mused.

Sighing, he rested his head back against the tree and considered the harsh realities of his situation. Elrond had lived far too long to assume his desires alone would be enough to sway the Valar to consider his petition to seek an end to his marriage. /My desires… needs have seldom been of any concern to the Valar… or so it has so often seemed./

“Why do you persist in believing that… even in the face of what you have found here in these gardens? That is not true and you know it.”

Startled from his inner musings, he looked up to find he had been joined by his old friend. “Do I, Mithrandir? I suppose you are right. I was blessed to live in fine homes, had my basic needs met in grand style and without worry… save for those early years, I was seldom subject to an authority of any save myself. I have indeed been given more than most and I take that for granted, meldir.” (friend)

“While the station of your birth did afford you certain luxuries not shared by others, with them came great burdens and responsibilities. Most would never be able to comprehend the demands that have rested on your shoulders… rested there since you were, but an elfling.” Moving to sit beside the peredhel, he added, “The Valar knew this, even as they love you all the more for it. You had the choice to ignore your duties, but you did not, even when it cost you greatly. The Valar know this as well. I must repeat myself… you are greatly loved by the Ainur.”

A faint smile lifted Elrond’s lips, even as his eyes remained fixed on the elleth across from him. /I am glad of this, but… the facts of my petition will not be affected by their affection./

“Have faith, mellon nin. Not even the Valar know what will ultimately sway them.” (my friend)

*****

The sounds of disturbed sleep whispered and groaned through the trees housing the talans. Concerned by the obvious distress of more than one of his kin and friends, Elrond rose and walked out onto the porch surrounding their temporary home. Within seconds, he realized the sounds were coming from several of the talans, preventing him from pinpointing the individuals suffering.

“What is it, Ada? Who needs our comfort?”

Glancing over his shoulder, Elrond watched as his sons moved to join him by the railing, flanking him on either side out of ancient habit. “I cannot say, ion, for it appears more than one member of our family is having dreams that disturb their hearts.” (son)

“What can we do?” Elrohir asked. His attention caught by movement below, he leaned over the railing to see who was moving about. “Naneth’ra Melian and Mithrandir are below. Should we join them?”

Nodding, Elrond turned to follow his elder son down to the forest floor. “It seems you expected to hear the sounds of disturbed sleep since you have arrived so promptly. Can you tell us who suffers?”

Looking up from packing his pipe, Olórin studied the worried faces of the peredhil. “Your rehoused family and friends are facing the moment of their deaths. This will be the hardest memory for any of them to accept. Their time in Lord Námo’s care prepared them for this… the return of their memories upon their second majority did likewise, but they have never truly been able to put that moment behind them. The mind is never prepared to face death, even when the person has no real fears as to their fate. Fear of death is a gift from our creator to save us from injury from reckless and dangerous behavior.”

Sighing, Elrond took a seat beside his grandmother. After wrapping his arm around her, he reached over to lay a hand on his friend’s arm. “You two know this better than most of the Ainur, having faced your own deaths.”

“Aye, we do. I faded from grief in the time after my husband was killed. I could no longer contemplate life without him, so I went to the Halls of Waiting to be with him until he was rehoused. Fading is not, I suspect, the same as death by other means.” Nodding toward Olórin, Melian observed, “As you know, our friend here met his fate battling one of our fallen brethren in the caverns of Moria. He had but a scant number of weeks to recover from his ordeal… then he had to return to life in Middle-earth to complete his mission for the Valar.”

Studying the Maia, Elrond was once again amazed by his ability to shield his thoughts from even the most determined observer. “I asked you once… if you were really as calm and accepting of your fate as you would have us believe. You gave me you best evasive smile and lit your pipe… much as you are doing now. My reasons then are the same as they are now… I wanted to offer comfort and support to you for I well remembered the centuries after Glorfindel returned to us. I knew how his memories haunted him.”

“I knew why you asked… why Glorfindel and your children asked. I was comforted by your concern, even if I was not yet ready to discuss my unexpected… at least to me, little adventure,” he replied. “As I have long told you, the House of Elrond became my family and I cherish the love and support I always found there.”

“So, the peoples of Lorien and Mirkwood did not offer you the same comforts, old friend?”

Looking up, they found they had been joined by the other elves in their party not currently suffering through memories of death. Smiling in response to Celeborn’s teasing, the Maia replied, “In abundance. I was blessed by the friendship of many during my years in Middle-earth. I hold dear my memories of days spent in both realms.”

Sweeping his hand in a grand gesture of welcome, he added, “Join us. We will not have long to wait before our comfort will be needed.”

Sighing, Finarfin took a seat next to his daughter. “I had been wondering why I was called to accompany this group. I did not go to Middle-earth with them, so I have no real understanding of what you suffered. I did not arrive until the War of Wrath to lead the Noldor of Valinor and then I left to return home. There are so many others that are better equipped to comfort each of you. Yet, I failed to consider my brother would be alone in this particular moment. Neither Alaire nor I could comprehend what he faced when he stood before Melkor until tonight. His son would… but he has his own death to accept.”

“Lord Irmo gifted you a dream of what happened?” Melian asked.

“Is such a memory a gift, my lady?” Dropping his head into his hands, the youngest of Finwë’s sons began to weep. After a long moment he quieted. “I heard him tell the stories… they sounded so… grand and monumental. In truth, he was… magnificent… all that I supposed. Still… there are no words to describe the horror of watching your brother die… of the guilt at not being there to stand at his side.”

Accepting his daughter’s embrace, he murmured, “Tis so easy to forget the costs of war when we talk of only the brave deeds and valor of the combatants. I never understood why he went before tonight. He knew Melkor had to be stopped if there was to be an end to his evil… that there are some things worth fighting for, even dying to achieve. I only went because the Valar called me, but I never had the same conviction he had. I should have been there.”

Shifting to his knees, Elrond reached out to place a comforting hand on his distant uncle’s shoulder. “Nay. That was not the will of our creator. You were needed in Aman. As you did not agree with their decision, it would have been a far greater wrong for you to defy the Valar thus… a greater wrong than the act of defiance by those that went, for they went because they believed. Your time to fight Morgoth came when the Valar called. Tonight is the time for you to stand with your brother. You are right… he will need your support greatly.”

Looking up into the shining silver eyes of the peredhel, he asked, “Could I not comfort him better if I had been there… shared the struggles and offered him my support?”

“I have seen many I loved die, Uncle. I was little more than a babe in arms when my child minder died trying to protect me and my twin, her throat slit before our eyes, when your nephews attacked my home. Her blood soaked my tunic and I was forced to wear that garment for days after. I saw and yet was helpless to prevent the death of your grandson… he as dear to me as a father.” Taking a breath to steady his voice, Elrond continued. “My presence made no difference in what happened. Still, I will be there for Ereinion and the rest of my family as they ever have been for me. Celebrate and embrace their return… that is the true gift we have been given. Let your joy help them find healing. It is the reason you were summoned.”

Holding the peredhel’s gaze, the Noldorian King studied the one before him… so different, and yet so alike his beloved brother. In the past, he had failed to understand his brother’s great pride in his descendant. He had, in fact, been more than a little embarrassed by his blood connection to the peredhel and the scandals that had followed his arrival in Aman. Understanding at last, Finarfin pulled the half-elf toward him and buried him in a tumultuous embrace. “I shall celebrate the return of my entire family, be they arrived from Mandos or Middle-earth. Thanks be to the Valar for such a gift!”

-----

Deep shadows still filled the talan as the sun had not yet risen to spread its light. Hearing the labored breathing of the elf huddled in the far corner, Elrond paused for a moment before announcing his presence. Unlike his uncle, he did not need a dream to understand the horror of his foster father’s death. He had seen it, been haunted by it for millennia. He had only found comfort from that memory upon his arrival in Aman in the person of the elf waiting to greet him at the wharf.

Signaling for his sons and Cirdan to remain by the door, he whispered, “Ereinion? Tis Elrond.”

Getting no response, the peredhel moved slowly to kneel beside the quaking elf. Reaching out to grasp the shoulder nearest him, he tried again. “Ereinion… Ada, you are not alone. Cirdan and my sons are here with me. You are not alone. Sauron is gone. He cannot cause you or anyone else harm ever again.”

Frantic blue eyes locked with his. “Elrond? You are safe? Cirdan is safe?”

“Aye, Ada. We are both safe. You and Elendil made that possible. I was not hurt that day… other than my grief over your deaths,” he offered. “I praise the Valar that I am here with you again. The sight of you waiting at the wharf for our ship to dock was one of the happiest in my life! You are safe… we are safe… Middle-earth is safe. You did well and now you can finally heal.”

“Elrond… you and our family… friends are safe? Our warriors can go home at last?”

Realizing Ereinion was still caught in the moment of his death, Elrond reached to pull the shaking form against him. Hugging him tight, he promised, “Our warriors are already home, Ada. They are safe. Our friends are near and are safe as well. We are in the Blessed Lands… at the Gardens of Lorien. We will be healed of all of our grief. You will be whole again.”

Clinging to his foster son, Ereinion began to cry. “I was so afraid I had failed you… our people. Dying… the pain was horrible, but… I was so afraid I had failed to protect you and our people. That I had failed…”

Feeling the other three kneel beside them, he was not surprised when their arms wrapped around the pair. “Do you feel that, Ereinion? Cirdan is here. My sons have joined us. My sons, Ereinion. What greater proof can I offer that I am safe… that you did not fail to protect us than my sons!”

Dazed eyes lifted to confirm Elrond’s words. “Your sons? Elladan… Elrohir?”

“Aye, we are here, Adar’ra. You are not alone… we are safe,” Elrohir soothed. “You did not fail.”

-----

Elrond paused at the edge of the clearing to study the assembled from the cover of the shadows cast by the towering trees. He and his sons had spent the day moving from talan to talan… grouping to grouping, trying to sooth the battered spirits of their kin. He was relieved to hear the scattered laughter and see the smiles wreathing many of the faces around the glade. That his sons were now settled across from him with their loves cuddled close to their sides brought a smile to his lips.

Scanning the glade, he found his great-great grandfather seated with his wife and granddaughter, sharing a bottle of their limited supply of miruvor with Cirdan and Aerel. /I am glad I thought to bring several bottles with me. I can think of no better time to share it, even if we will have but little left. Perhaps I can ask the Lady Estë to inquire of the Lady Yavanna* about a suitable place to plant our vines. I would dearly love to see them thrive./

To his right, he found Finarfin and Ereinion deep in conversation, a lovely Vanyar elleth seated next to his foster father. /Ada seems to be receiving personal attention from his beautiful companion. Lady Estë’s attendant has been spending a lot of time in his company these last few days… and he seems quite happy with this fact. Perhaps he has finally found his mate… though he has done more than this share of ‘looking’. I wonder if he realizes Lissë is the great-granddaughter of Ingwë? He is not known to have much regard for the Noldor./

Looking to his left, he found his Grandmother Nimloth and his great-great-grandparents trading stories with Galadriel and Celeborn, the younger Lorien ellyn sitting nearby absorbing their tales. A little further away, Lindir and his family were gathered around Glorfindel and Gwing giving the couple their support. /I am glad to see Glorfindel is looking better. I was worried about him this morning, but he seems to be moving away from his grief and the lingering fears left from his death. Gwing has been good for him… and he for her./

Near the middle of the glade, the rest of his family was lounging and talking quietly. His mother had struck up a conversation with Mithrandir and the two were debating the merits of dwarven ale, to the amusement of Gildor and Silael. His great-grandfather Turgon and his grandfather Tuor* had found a chess set and were focused on their game.

Concerned that he had not located Meril, he stepped into the glade looking around more closely, assuming she was sitting among the others. Frowning when he did not find her, he took another step only to be stopped by a small hand on his arm. Glancing to his side, he felt his face relax into a smile. “Meril… I was wondering where you had gone.”

Smiling up at the elf lord, she pulled his harp from behind her back. “I was looking for you, my lord. We have been asked to play for our family. Elrohir gave me your harp to give to you when you returned from your walk. Lindir has his lyre and I have my flute. Will you join us?”

“I can think of nothing I would rather do, Lirimaer. Are you sure you are ready to play for an audience again?” he asked, worried she had been placed in a position she was not yet ready to face. (lovely one)

Blushing slightly at his obvious concern, Meril nodded. “I am… I think. It is not as if we would be playing before strangers. These are our family and friends. I have no fears in their company. Besides, I need to get over my fear of playing before an audience if I am to help teach classes… assuming you still wish me to teach.”

“Indeed, I do. Nothing has happened to change that, nor will it.” Relieved by the determined expression on her face, he gave her a pleased smile. Offering her his arm, he bowed slightly. “Very well then… led on and I shall gladly follow. Have you and Lindir decided what we should play?”

“Nay, but… may I propose we play the piece the two of you composed that you taught me during our last few times playing together? It is lovely and …”

-----

Evening had settled over the gardens as the trio moved into the center of the gathering preparing to play. Word of the impromptu concert had quickly spread throughout the woods and glades of Lorien and, to Meril’s discomfort, a large crowd had gathered well beyond their small circle. Numerous attendants and residents of the area settled amongst their family, along with several elves visiting the gardens for healing. A hush fell over the crowd as six bright lights approached from the woods.

Falling to their knees, the assembled found themselves joined by the Lord and Lady of the Gardens, as well as, the Valier Yavanna and Vána and their spouses Aulë and Oromë.* “We have heard we are to be treated to a performance by three of Middle-earth’s finest musicians. Our dear Melian has often told us of your gift. If you have no objections, we would very much like to hear you play,” Irmo proposed, his gentle gaze falling on the nervous elleth sheltered between the two ellyn.

“Have no worries, dear ones. We, as with all of Eru Ilúvatar’s creations, love music. It was one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon us. I hope our presence will not make you uncomfortable. Try and I think you will find it touches us all in ways nothing else can… heals the spirit more profoundly than words could ever hope to do,” Estë whispered.

Soothed by their loving words, Meril felt her fears drop away. Smiling, she rose and curtsied to the Valar. “We would be honored, my ladies… my lords.”

-----

*Their music is profound, yet lovely. It is unlike any we have heard in Aman in recent millennia,* Yavanna observed, her thoughts carrying to the others of her kindred. *Their talents are impressive.*

*Indeed, they are. There is an… energy and passion to the music that is refreshing,* Vána offered. *It has been so long since last I traveled about Middle-earth. Is their music a reflection of that land… their time there?*

Tilting his head to enjoy a sequence, Irmo nodded his head. *It is very much a reflection of the time they spent in those oft troubled lands. It has given their fëar astonishing depth; their hearts have known suffering, as well as, joy in ways seldom seem in this realm.* (spirits)

They fell silent for a time, drinking in the performance in a way only those with a profound connection to music can. *The minstrel Lindir is a consummate musician and plays with great feeling. He has found his place in the piece without crowding the other two. They play in complete harmony,* Aulë mused, his attention focused on the three.

*Tis hardly surprising… the other two have begun to form a bond. Their fëar speak to each other, each sparking and lighting the other to a deeper connection to the music. The ellyn wrote this composition, but the elleth understands it to a profound degree because she is drawn to the peredhel’s spirit… is connected to it,* Oromë concluded.

Estë glanced at the Hunter, intrigued by his insight. Smiling slightly, she asked, *I thought my husband and I were the ones gifted with such insight into the spirits of our charges, my dear friend?*

A faint nod accompanied his reply. *It does not take a great deal of insight to see this, dear Estë. The music announces it as loudly as if they were shouting their love for all to hear… thought I have no concerns they have or would behave in an inappropriate way. Look… there! The love they share fairly sparkles between them.*

*I do not dispute this, mellon nin. What does this tell us? Does this imply that Eru sanctions their match?* Irmo asked, not expecting an answer. (my friend)

Unable to answer that question, the Valar let their thoughts return to the music and the magic it was weaving across the glade. They knew the time was soon coming when they would be forced to answer this question, but this night was not that time. For tonight, there was music and the celebration of life.

-----

A/N - Lissë is Quenya for honey. I think its time the former High King settled down… not that courting the great-granddaughter of Ingwë will be all that settling!

A/N – Yavanna is one of the most powerful of the Valar, one of the Aratar or the Eight. She is responsible for all growing things (though her younger sister Vána was responsible for flowers and birds, but not turning letters… sorry, bad American joke!). I should point out that Yavanna grew miruvórë, the source of the flowers used to make the ‘nectar of the Valar’ in her gardens in Valimar. It appears (and I am using this interpretation) that miruvor is from a related, but different plant that only grew in the valleys of Imladris. From its fruit, the elves made a cordial that was reputed to be therapeutic. Since it was so important to his people, Elrond might well have brought some cuttings to try and grow it in Aman… or I think he might.

A/N – I agree with several readers that Tuor may well have been given immortality for his great service to the Valar when he and Indril sailed, so he’s joined his family in Lorien. This does make me wonder why Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, and Gimli did not receive the same, but then again, mortality was a gift to the Secondborn.

A/N – The other Valar often visited the Gardens at Lorien, drawn by the soothing waters of the Lake and the comfort of the gardens themselves. I did not think it was too unexpected for several to visit and come to hear the performance.

A/N – Buckle your seatbelts because the next couple of chapters deal with Haldir and Celebrian. They will be angsty, so consider this fair warning! You can’t hurt people the way they did and then make it all go away with cookies and lemonade. I believe in the profound importance of people taking responsibility for their actions, the emotional release gained from a sincere apology, the power of forgiveness, and the hope of staring over… just don’t expect a big group hug --- at least one involving our four principle characters!

While it may be possible for Celebrian and Haldir to rebuild some sort of relationships with the others, the best anyone could expect for their dealings with Elrond and Meril will be for them to be able to move beyond the past and go on with their lives. They will never be friends or share close relationships. You may be able to rebuild the trust of someone you betrayed once… and I do mean may be able. Repeated betrayal destroys trust and without trust their can be no relationship, so don’t expect Meril to be discussing the latest fashion trends with Celebrian or for Elrond and Haldir to be sitting around knocking back a few while they discuss whatever sport is big in Valinor. (Though the mental image of those two lounging on the sofa with a plate of nachos and a few cold ones, shouting at the telly over a botched call by the ref in elven football or, worse yet, watching Nascar is almost to much to resist… but I will!)

A/N - Thanks MarzBar! Hope you continue to enjoy the story! Things are about to heat up!, so hang on!
A/N - I'm so glad you're enjoying Garden, Seansbeanie! I love Sil, but its been a little while since I last read it. I'm having to do lot of going back to check my facts!
A/N - Thanks EC! Your support has been greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!