The Lost

The Lost

Chapter 18
Author: Frosty the Dairy Cow
Rated: NC-17
Codes: Elrond, Legolas, Aragorn, Haldir, Galadriel, OC, AU, N/C
Summary: After the defeat of Sauron, Elves and Men go to war. The reason, though, is not so clear. Contains real plot.
Notes: Elvish translations are at the end of each chapter.
Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine. Bleh.

To RANGERLADY: Thank you very much for the congrats on our page. Elven and I are both very glad you like the stories. We write them for each other, but get a hell of a lo joy joy out of reviews. A little too much joy, probably. ;) I really appreciate your in-depth review - criticism is a good thing. It helps us learn. And thanks for letting us know about the elvish and how annoying it is to scroll all the way down to get the translation - we'll look into fixing that. I'm glad you liked "The Lost". I've started anr, br, but I don't think it's quite up to snuff. Elven is actually *finished* "In Darkness and In Doubt" - she just has to get around to posting it. I've let her know that everyone's waiting. ;)

Thanks again!


*

Legolas pursed his lips when he finally found Aragorn. The King was standing in the garden Legolas himself used to visit often when he was a welcome guest in Minas Tirith. The view reminded him of home. It was peaceful. Quiet.

Taking a breath, the elf walked under the archway and down the path towards Aragorn. He knew the King heard him coming, but he did not turn. It sometimes bothered Legolas how comfortable Aragorn was surrounded by silence. It was not a normal trait of Men to find solace in what was missing. Men were comforted by action and noise, not the calm.

Aragorn's hands were clasped behind his back as his ice blue eyes roamed over the snow-capped mountains in the distance. A chilly breeze swept Legolas' hair over his shoulders, but he did not shiver. The wind didn't bother him. When he looked at the King, though, he noticed him tremble slightly.

"I have been searching for you," said Legolas, following the King's eyes into the valley.

Aragorn smiled, shifting his eyes to look at the elf. "I apologize. I felt the need to reflect."

Licking his lips and nodding, Legolas got directly to the point. "We need to discuss this situation. The sooner it is remedied, the sooner we can move past our differences."

Frowning, Aragorn turned. "What situation?"

Legolas blinked as though the King was being deliberately difficult. "Valinor, Aragorn. Your guards need to be pulled so the elves can leave here, if they wish."

"Ah," said the King as he nodded, "Of course. I had forgotten."

"Forgotten?" The elf frowned and arched an eyebrow, curious. "Does our fate mean so little to you?"

"Not at all, my friend," he replied, looking back out to the mountains. Legolas narrowed his eyes at the King's choice of words. It had been many years since he had called the elf anything but an enemy. "I have had much on my mind."

Legolas watched Aragorn carefully. He looked tired, as though he had not slept all night. He also looked less tense, less angry with the world. Perhaps a peace had fallen over him, one that would make this effort that much easier.

"You will release the havens, then?" He clasped his own hands behind his back as he continued to watch the King.

"I will. Word will be sent today."

There was no hesitancy in his voice, no bitterness. Legolas was unsure why he had such a change in demeanor, but did not question it. "You have my gratitude."

"May I also have your acceptance?" Aragorn's expression was solemn as he turned to the elf. It seemed as if he was asking for approval.

Legolas knit his brow. "I do not understand."

Sighing, the King pursed his lips and looked out on the valley. "Long ago I considered myself as much elf as man. Rivendell was my home. Elrond was my father." His stormy eyes turned back to Legolas as he became more serious. "A century of war has darkened my outlook, no matter if the vision of our battles was tainted by Sauron. It has been too long to be so easily changed. I have found something, though, that has brought light back to my life. Something that has affected the way I look at the world, and at those who used to be my kin."

"A light?" Legolas narrowed his eyes at what Aragorn was saying. "What kind of light?"

"The same light Arwen used to bring."

Blinking back his confusion, Legolas slowly came to the realization of what Aragorn was speaking of. His light. The elf frowned, moving his arms to his sides in held-back anger. "You do not mean Anólindë?"
gorngorn's face plainly showed that he saw the animosity in Legolas' eyes. "I do," he said softly, "I have fallen for her."

Too many thoughts stampeded through Legolas' mind. Worried and unsure, he advanced upon the human, stopping mere steps from him. "If you have touched her, I will kill you," he said lowly, glaring at the King.

"I have done nothing dishonourable," he replied, "I would not."

Shaking his head and clenching his fists, Legolas tried to understand. "Why did you tell me this?" He could not see what point Aragorn was trying to make, nor what he was asking.

Aragorn's eyes shifted sadly. "I tell you because you are Anólindë's close friend. Never will I force myself upon her, but if she would ever consent to be with me, I would wish that you, as her friend, would accept and support that. For her sake." He sighed and swallowed heavily. "She is greatly influenced by you."

"What makes you think sheld eld ever consider relations with you?" asked Legolas, "For a hundred years, men have done nothing but try to murder her kind, and you expect her to simply accept you without thought? She is more intelligent than that."

"I would never expect anything from her. I have hope. That is all."

Sng hng his head, Legolas took a step back and flexed his hands, trying to drain the nervous energy. All his intincts told him to defend his friend, to make sure Aragorn never hurt Anólindë. But those instincts were honed on a century of war. This was different.

This was Aragorn.

Lifting his eyes back up to the King, he asked the question foremost on his mind. "Have you told her of your feelings?" When Aragorn nodded, Legolas continued, "And what was her response?"

"Her response," he said, hesitating, "Is something I would prefer to keep to myself."

Legolas nodded and exhaled deeply. "You wanted my acceptance? That was your original question."

"Yes," he replied, "More than just for Anólindë. I wish for your acceptance, Legolas, in friendship as well. I know it will not be easy, but I have hope that one day things can be easier than they are now."

"I am...open to that as well." Legolas narrowed his eyes at the King and raised his chin slightly. "However, it is my nature to protect those I care about. I will not have you interfere in Anólindë's life if she does not want it. Be aware of that."

Aragorn smiled, the first look of humour Legolas had seen on his face since he arrived. "I would expect no less of you. I must ask, though, what if she wishes for my presence in her life? Can you accept that?"

The elf thought for a moment before answering. "She is my friend. I will accept...and support...her choices."

Legolas bit back his concern. In truth, he did not want Anólindë to become close to Aragorn. He feared for her safetly, moreso than he did for the other elves. Her well-being meant much to him, especially after what she had gone through in Lothlorien. The loss of Elrond had taken its toll as well. He did not want her influenced at her most vulnerable.

He made a deon ton to speak with her as soon as he could regarding this situation. If nothing else, he needed to let her know that he was aware of Aragorn's intentions, and would defend her if need be.

"I can see your worry." Aragorn's voice brought Legolas back from his thoughts. "I know she is in pain right now. You have my word I will never push her for anything."

"Forgive me if I do not accept that outright," replied Legolas, "I think we both still have issues to contend with."

The King nodded in agreement, smiling softly. Licking his lips and looking back out at the mountains, he sighed gently. "I will inform the Steward about Valinor. He will leave before mid-afternoon to bring the guards back from the West."

Legolas nodded, once again following Aragorn's gaze to the land of Gondor. *
*

"Why do we remain here? Why do we bother to fight? Would it not be easier just to allow ourselves to perish?"

"Easier, yes, but that is not the way of our kind. Those who despair so greatly as to seek death will find no happiness in Valinor."

"Would you have looked for death, if I had not found you?"

Anólindë breathed out softly as she opened her eyes to the pale light of the room. She remembered the day not long ago when Elrond had touched her in kindness, as though she were the last thing holding him to this fragile Earth.

A tear trickled down her cheek. Wiping it away impatiently, she licked her lips and concentrated on remembering his words. She knew Valinor would soon be open to her, to all of her kind. What would she choose? If she decided on the havens, would she be looking for death? For release? Would she be running again?

If I had not found you?

Did she now have a reason for staying?

Pushing herself from the bed, she got up and went to the bathroom, cleaning herself up. As she rested her hands on the counter and stared at the reflection in the mirror, she tried to decipher what it all meant. She needed to know what the answer was.

I meth innas tegi i altiriaan.

Galadriel's words echoed back to her like a soft wind. The Queen had whispered the phrase as they left Lothlorien. So far, there was nothing wholly unexpected. If she left for the Havens, what would be so unexpected? Was there something else?

Clenching her eyes shut, Anólindë tried to rid her mind of the questions. She was trying too hard to read into the Lady's words. She was often unclear in her direction, preferring not to affect the future unnecesly. ly. Galadriel wanted peace. She wanted happiness.

Where could it be found?

Standing and taking a long, deep breath, Anólindë brushed her hair back and stood straight. The Lady of Light had given her life so that others could continue. Anólindë would not disrespect that. She owed it to her, and to herself, to find out if happiness was in this life.

She grabbed an apple from the fruit plate on her way out the door, taking a bite as the door closed behind her. There was no point in waiting any longer, she couldn't stand the questions in her mind. As Anólindë exited the building and headed towards the fourth level of the city, she tried to calm herself. Never in her life did she expect to be doing something like this. Never did she think she would have feelings for a mf Gof Gondor.

Tossing the apple core aside, Anólindë wiped her hands on her dress and rounded the corner to the courtyard, nearly colliding with an elf heading the opposite direction. "Oh, Legolas," she breathed, placing a hand on her chest, "You surprised me."

He knit his brow as he looked her over. "Distracted?"

"A little, yes," she replied. Noticing he looked somewhat distracted himself, she frowned and placed a hand on his arm. "Are you alright?"

A soft smile crossed his lips as he looked into her eyes. "I have just spoken to Aragorn," he said, "He informed of some...things I found a little disconcerting."

Anólindë's expression changed to one of hesitation. "Things?"

"He told me he has feelings for you."

Anólindë felt herself flush as she crossed her arms. "He did?" she said quietly, suddenly very worried about Legolas' reaction.

To her surprise, though, he did not appear angry. "Yes."

"And what did you say?" She was nervous.

Legolas pursed his lips and smiled. "I told him that if he hurt you, I would be pbe pleased."

"Is that all?" She frowned, disappointed in her expectation. Anólindë didn't want Legolas angry with her, but she did not understand this response.

Taking a deep breath, Legolas stepped close to her. "I will not pretend it does not bother me. I still do not fully trust him. I know Aragorn's character, though, and he has given his word that he will not take advantage of your vulnerability. I want you to know, if he ever acts dishonourable towards you, I will come to your defense. Please talk to me if you ever feel the need to. As a friend."

Anólindë opened her mouth to speak, but wasn't sure what to say. His support and calmness surpriser. er. "You are not angry?"

A sidelong smirked crossed his delicate features. "I was. I am no longer. I only want you to be careful." She nodded as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You are on your way to see him?"

"Yes," she said quietly, "I need to know."

"Know what?"

Her eyes met his as she bit her lip. "How I feel."

She could see the reluctant acceptance in his eyes. "Nagolwen ned sen cardh. Annalin meleth ae le are albach edraith thala ned ha."

"Im innas," she replied. Relieved, she squeezed his arm before parting company with him, continuing on through the courtyard. She looked back before adingding the stairs, but Legolas was gone.

Gathering her dress in her hands, Anólindë walked up to the door of the Hall and pushed it open. The Steward of Gondor was there, speaking with the King. Anólindë bit her cheek as she stood back from them, not wanting to disturb.

Aragorn saw her immediately, though, and stood up from his chair. He said a few words to the Steward, who then left the Hall, nodding to Anólindë as he passed. Frowning, she looked up as the King approached. "I apologize. I did not mean to interrupt."

"Not at all," he said, smiling, "How are you this afternoon?"

Anólindë blinked softly. "Well," she said, her voice uncertaie see seemed to notice, his smile fading slightly. "I wanted to apologize for last night. What I did was...undignified, to say the least."

"You are too hard on yourself." Motioning with his hand, he urged her further into the room. It was quiet here, their echoing footsteps the only sounds apart from their voices. "You have lost no dignity in my eyes."

Her brow knit, Anólindë sat down upon the chair offered and looked across the small wooden table to the King. His blue eyes were upon her, attentive and undemanding. She felt relaxed in his presence, with the exception of how unsure she was in herself.

It occured to her that apart from Elrond, she had never even considered feelings for any other person. She had many friends of the opposite sex, but not once had they crossed her mind as anything but friends. Now here she was, looking at the King of Gondor with eyes not tuned to platonic companionship, but something else. Something more. Just the very fact that she was looking at him for the possibility of a relationship meant more to her than it probably would to anyone else.

After several moments of silence, Anólindë leaned forward slightly and took a deep breath before speaking. "Have you released the Havens yet?"

"The Steward is on his way to collect the guards now."

She could tell he knew she had more to say, so she continued. "I have a choice to make, Aragorn. When Valinor is once again an option for the elves, I could finally leave this life and be at peace again. This war has taken its toll. I find myself...tired...of the pain, for the war brought about a change in more than just the world. I am different now. I am not as strong as I used to be."

His eyes lowered for a moment as he sighed softly. "I will not deny that I have felt that change as well. I feel hope for the future, though."

"Lady Galadriel told me the end of this would bring about something unexpected. My expectation of the result of peace was eternal life in the Grey Havens. I know not if the Lady was speaking directly of me, or of Arda, or of someone else, but I do not feel right leaving here without knowing if there is something I should be staying for."

Aragorn's eyes narrowed slightly. "You wonder if you should stay for me." When Anólindë nodded, he took a deep breath and nodded his head. "I will not deny that your leaving Middle-Earth would leave me heavy-hearted, but I would never ask of you something you did not want. Valinor is a natural end for your kind. If you need to rest, I will not stop you."

Sitting back, Anólindë frowned softly. She had almost expected Aragorn to be more help, more influential in her decision. Now that he had given her his blessing in leaving this world, she found it was not what she had wanted him to say. She had expected him to ask her to stay. Looking up at him, it occured to her that that's what she had wanted him to say.

"And if I choose to stay?" she asked, looking him in the eye.

She could see a tiny smile pull at his lips. "Then I would welcome you."

Releasing her tension into a grin, Anólindë shook her head. "I had hoped one meeting would be enough to persuade me one way or another. Obviously, it is not."

"If one meeting is not enough, I will gladly give you another. Have dinner with me tonight," he replied.

She thought for a moment, then nodded. "I would like that."

Rising from his seat, Aragorn walked to the side of the table as Anólindë stood. "I have some business to attend to, but I look forward to your return." He took her hand and kissed it, smiling as he released her and bowed slightly. "My Lady."

Feeling a slight flush on her cheeks, Anólindë smiled and turned, heading towards the exit. Just before she opened the door, though, the King's voice called.

" Anólindë," he said, his quiet voice loud in the hall, "Thank you foring ing to see me."

She nodded, then pushed open the door and stepped into the sunlight.

*

TBC

Elf-Talk:

I meth innas tegi i altiriaan. - The end will bring the unexpected (the not-looked-for.)
Nagolwen ned sen cardh. Annalin meleth ae le nalbach edraith thala ned ha. - Be wise in this deed. Give your love if you are (be) nothing (no-thing) save (saving) firm in it.
Im innas. - I will.