An Elf's Rose

CHAPTER 17


Robert sat at the kitchen table with the Sunday paper a cua cup of tea, puffing his pipe, watching his son make his breakfast with careful, deliberate motions. Bowl, glass, cereal box, spoon, knife, banana, carton of milk, set on a tray then brought to the table. Orli poured the cereal then cut the banana into slices with rather remarkable dexterity, taking into account his blindness and splinted right hand. He poured a bit of milk into the bowl and stuck his forefinger in to judge the level, then poured a bit more. He then did the same with the glass, filling it three-quarters full, to take his morning meds with.

Orli took a big spoonful of cereal, chewed a bit then asked, “Something wrong?”

“Wrong?” Robert repeated, frowning in puzzlement.

“You’re not reading your paper.”

Robert sighed. He folded the paper, setting it down on the table, and took a good look at the boy in front of him, noticing how the tee shirt hung on his shoulders. “I’m thinking you’re much too thin. You’re not eating well.”

Orli shrd. d. “I try. It’s just the damn headaches make me nauseated and I end up puking.”

“How’s your head this morning?”

“Not bad. Just a low-level ache I can live with.” He chewed thoughtfully for a minute. “I think the swimming is helping somehow.”

“That’s good.” He looked at the dark circles under the boy’s eyes, obviously he hadn’t slept well. He knew something had happened with Rose last night.

“Rose is coming today to take me and Maude to the park to go ‘round the track. Gotta get back into shape. After a month in bed, I feel weak as a kitten.”

“Orli, last night –“ Robert began but was interrupted by the ring of the phone. He got up and answered it.

“Hello?” He brought the cordless back to the table and sat down.

“Robert?”

“Rosie, how are you love? We were just talking about you.”

”Oh?” There was an odd note in her voice. Robert looked at Orli. His face held anticipation and – something else.

“Yes, Orli was telling me you were going to take him to the track?”

”Oh, well, that’s what I was calling about. I’m going to have to cancel. There’s a, um, church function that I forgot about and my parents made plans to go visit my uncle. I really can’t get out of it. My parents are, ah, insistent.”

“Well, that’s the way it goes. Orli’s right here, you want to speak to him?”

”Um, nah, just let him know? I gotta go, I’m already late for mass. Tell h’ll ’ll call him later.”

“Alright, love. Talk to you later.”

”Yeah.” There was a pause. ”Robert?”

“Yes?”

”I love you.”

Robert felt tears prick his lids. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

Orli’s face was an expressionless mask. The only movement was the rapid pulse in his throat.

“She’s canceling today, Orli.”

He didn’t answer, but swallowed convulsively.

“What happened last night? Rose was very upset when she left. She barely said goodnight to me.”

Orli opened his mouth to answer, but shut it and turned his face away.

“I’m an asshole,” he said raggedly, shoulders trembling with emotion. Robert said nothing and simply waited, taking the boy’s hand in his. Orli grimaced, fighting tears. “What else is new, eh? I tried to seduce her. Granted, I was stoned off my nut but it isn’t an excuse.” He rubbed his eyes against his right forearm. “She deserves better than a wanker like me.”

“Why did she refuse you? Did she say?”

He shook his head. “She just said I needed to show her that I loved her in some other way.”

Robert smiled and grippeli’sli’s hand tighter. “She is a very smart, courageous young woman, our Rosie. And she’s right. You do.” He sat back in the chair. “Girls have ended up in your bed, son, with no effort on your part. She knows that, and doesn’t want to count herself among them. She wants more from you than just your body. Can you give her more?”

“She has my heart. I love her.”

“You need to think about what that means, then.”

~~~

Rose didn’t call Orlando later. She took the cowards way out this time. She didn’t think that she could hear his velvet voice and not want to rush over there and – molest him.

The memory of his hands and mouth on her and the rocking of his hips and pressure of his erection against her belly had forced her to seek her own release last night, which she hadn’t done since that first time before his accident.

She sat in church that morning with the proverbial angel on one shoulder and devil on the other, battling it out.

You know you want him and he wants you. What’s the big deal?

You are NOT going to be another girl that throws herself at him!

It’s only sex, for godsakes, everybody’s doing it.

There’s so much more to him than that. You want more of him than that.

He’s going to get tired of wanting you and go somewhere else…

You’re worth the effort and the wait. Let him work for it!

“Help me,” she prayed, looking up at the crucifix.

~~~

Orli was nearly in despair. She hadn’t called all Sunday, hadn’t called Monday as she usually did, during one of her breaks between classes, and hadn’t shown up Monday night after Aikido. He had broken down and called her house and her mother had answered, but she told him Rose was working on a class paper and didn’t want to be disturbed.

“Please, Mrs. Aragón. Please tell her to call me.”

“I’ll tell her you called, Orlando.”

He sat on his chaise and held his head in his hands. If he wasn’t blind, he’d be jumping in his car to knock on her door, not taking “no” for an answer. He hadn’t felt this powerless since he was molested and he hated the feeling. His shrink had told him to convert those feelings of helplessness into constructive, not destructive action. To turn his anger into opportunity. How was he to do that? He couldn’t even walk down the block by himself.

You don’t have to do it on your own, you stupid git. A man is not an island, to use a boring cliché.

Orli had a light bulb moment and picked up the phone to call the dojo.

~~~

Rose walked out of her composition class with Andrea and Cathy with plans to brown-bag it in the library courtyard, where there were shade trees and wide concrete benches. They would discuss their new assignment and outlilanslans for research. They walked across the green in the Indian summer sunshine when her cell phone vibrated in her bag.

“Wait a sec, guys, I’m getting a call.” She pulled the phone out and saw the caller ID was Orlando’s new cell phone number. He’d had to get another one, since Robert had given Rose his old one.

“Hi,” she said, with a bit of trepidation.

“Hullo.” Orlando sounded cheerful, not upset at all. She wasn’t at all sure that she wanted him to be cheerful.

“What’s up?”

“I, ah, was just calling to, ah, find out if your class is done.”

“I just got out.”

“Where are you headed now?”

Rose frowned. “Um, Andrea and Cathy and I are going to do lunch over at the library. Why?”

“Oh, just curious about your day, is all. I, ah, am hoping I’ll see you soon.”

Rose cleared her throat. He sounded distinctly odd. “Yeah, I’ll see you tonight, maybe.” She’d spoken to Father Kirk and he told her she was right in doing what she did, but she couldn’t avoid him forever. She’d have to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.

She was quiet the rest of the walk, lost in her own thoughts. Her friends gave her the space she needed and spoke quietly together, walking a few steps ahead.

They reached their destination and had pulled out their lunches and laptops when Andrea looked up and in a surprised voice said, “Oh, hello.”

Rose looked behind her and jerked in surprise, nearly falling off the bench.

“What – what are you doing here?” she asked Orlando, who stood there looking devastatingly gorgeous, wearing snug jeans that showed off his long legs and a white dress shirt, sunglasses and a blue knit cap to hide the livid scar at the back of his head. He had a cat-that-ate-the-cream smile plastered on his face.

He said nothing but brought his left hand from behind him. It held a single red rose. Andrea and Cathy sighed. Rose stared at Orlando in shock and surprise. She took the rose gingerly from his hand and sniffed it.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

“Not as beautiful as you, my own Rose,” he said softly.

Rose stood up and embraced him around the waist, careful of the scars on his back, laying her head against his chest. He felt so good in her arms, so right, she just wanted to stay there forever. His arms came around her shoulders and held her tightly, bending his neck to lay his cheek against her curls. They stood that way in silence for a few moments.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m such a jerk. I’m always apologizing, aren’t I?”

Rose hugged him tighter. “You’re not a jerk. You’re just being a guy. And I’m sorry for being a coward.”

Orlando breathed a laugh into her hair. “Hardly. You’ve got bigger balls that I do.”

Rose giggled and he kissed her head, letting her go reluctantly. She suddenly recognized sempai Jimmy a ways behind him, sitting on a bench. She waved and he waved back, smiling, signaling thumbs up.

“May I join you ladies?” Orlando asked.

“Oh, of course!” Andrea told him, making room on the concrete bench for him.

Rose held his hand, guiding him as he sat down carefully, wary of his back. He brought her hand to his lips and told them, “Don’t mind me now, just go ahead and do your thing.”

But it was difficult for them to concentrate. All three young women could barely keep their eyes off his face, for different reasons. Rose couldn’t believe he’de toe to see her like this, just to give her a flower. Not just a flower, mind you. Your namesake. The other girls were entranced, and wondered that such a beautiful creature belonged to little unassuming Rose. Plus he’d made such a terribly romantic gesture, they were a bit envious.

They ended up asking him questions about himself, and his recovery from his injuries. He made them laugh with self-deprecating stories of his childish behavior and made Rose look like the saintly heroine, putting up with all the crap he dished out, and then dishing it right back to him.

The hour was soon up and they had to head for their next classes. To their surprise and pleasure, Orli hugged each of the two girls, thanking them for putting up with him and his nonsense. They of course denied his being a nuisance and told him to come back and hang out any time.

When they had walked away, Orlando turned to Rose and asked her to sit another minute with him. He took her hand and kissed the palm, found her face and kissed her lips gently.

“I love you, Rose”. he said softly, brushing his lips against hers. “Please don’t stay away. I promise I’ll behave. Give me another chance?”

Tears trembled on the ends of her eyelashes. “How could I refuse?”

The relief was evident in his face. He sighed deeply. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I – I’m a terrible person sometimes –“

“No you’re not! You –“

“I am. You don’t even know how terrible. You haven’t really seen – I’ve not let you. But it’ll come out and I beg you, when it does – please judge me with your Hobbit heart, not your head. Do you think you could do that?”

Rose thought of the blonde woman and the envelope. Robert never mentioned it and she didn’t know how she could bring it up to him. Maybe she wanted Orlando to tell her about it.

“What have you done?” she asked, afraid of the answer.

He grimaced, as if in pain. “It’s not a tale for this beautiful day. It’s long and sad and I’m working it out with my psychiatrist right now. When I get the courage, we’ll talk.”

“Does it have to do with your broken hand and that blonde woman?”

She watched the blood drain from his face. “Blonde woman?”

“She came up to the house the night after you were – admitted to the hospital. She dropped off an envelope and said terrible things about you. Who was she?”

His hand trembled in hers. His voice was hoarse. “Victoria, my father’s mis – ex-mistress. What did she say?”

Rose licked her lips, her heart going like a trip-hammer. She wasn’t liking his reactions in the least. “She said that she got some unwanted attention from you. And that you were nuts, and to be careful because you would turn on me at any time. She recommended I ‘lose’ you quick.”

Orlando rubbed the fingertips of his good hand against his forehead. “Unwanted attention, huh? No, she wanted me alright. She just didn’t bargain for what she got.”

“Wha – what happened, Orlando. You have to tell me.” Rose clutched at his arm, needing desperately to know, and yet dreading it.

“I raped her.”

It was Rose’s turn for the blood to drain from her head. She felt dizzy and slightly sick. “B – but you just said – she wanted you.”

He turned his face away from her. e die did. At first. But I was cruel and I hurt her and left her crying.” They were both silent for a moment, each with their own whirling thoughts. “I did go ‘nuts’ as she called it. I was so infuriated with her for wanting me just for sex. That – that’s all everyone ever seems to want from me, even men. And the bitch had just gotten up from my father’s bed, too. I wanted to hurt her.” He turned back to her and smiled wanly. “So you see. When I tell you I’m a horrible person, I really mean it.”

“I don’t want you just for sex,” Rose whispered, not kno wha what else to say.

Orlando squeezed his eyes shut and two tears trailed down his face. “I know. You are – “ he shook his head, unable to speak for a moment. He took her hand again to kiss it. “And I tried to kill what we have by treating you the same way others have treated me. It’s despicable.”

Rose caressed his face tenderly, feeling a sharp pain in her chest. “No, you just haven’t learned another way to relate to people. But today was a good start.”

Orlando brought her face to his mouth and kissed her fiercely. “I’m telling you right now, Rose. I’m not letting you go easily.”

“I don’t want you to.”

Rose was very late for class.