Bed of Wild Roses

Sean sighed deeply, snuggling up to the warm body next to him. He was laying on his stomach with his head pushed up against a strong chest, cocooned in warmth by blankets and an arm, that rested almost possessively on his waist and hip. He grinned, slowly opening his eyes. The heartbeat under his ear remained slow and steady. It seemed as though Karl was not exactly a light sleeper. Good. Sean’s grin softened to a smile and he closed his eyes again, mentally cataloguing each and every square centimeter of his body that was in direct contact with Karl’s skin. He frowned. Of course the sweatpants they were both wearing were in the way, but at least they were also helping him to hide his morning erection.

Sean gingerly, slowly, pushed Karl’s arm away, freezing for a moment as the other man stirred and mumbled something unintelligible. Fortunately Karl settled down again after a moment. Sean rolled to his side, propped himself up on his elbow and watched the other man. It was amazing how relaxed and serene Karl looked. Sean smiled out, his hand hovering only centimeters over Karl’s skin. Slowly he followed the lines of the other man’s brows and nose, his fingers drawing a likeness of Karl’s face into the air. He had thought Karl beautiful from the moment he had first laid eyes upon him but now, in the silvery half-darkness of the moonlit night, the other man looked ethereal.

His fingertips were almost close enough to Karl to feel the heat of the other man’s skin. Sean leaned in closer, inhaling deeply. If he concentrated hard enough he could smell not only the strong, earthy, herb-like smell he associated with Karl but also traces of his own aftershave. All mingled and mixed up into just one smell. It was paradise.

“I love you.” Sean whispered quietly, his heart aching with the knowledge that he might perhaps never have the chance of repeating these words to Karl. “God help, but I do. From the bottom of my heart.” He pressed a quick kiss to Karl’s forehead, grinning as the other man reacted by inching closer, smiling softly in his sleep. A few minutes later the room was once more filled with the soft snoring and sniffling of the two men.


~***~


The next time Sean woke it was because of a noise that did not belong into his room. Something was off; something had disturbed him. And this time he and Karl were so entangled that he could not really get up. Well. He frowned. He did not really own anything wort stealing anyway. He tensed, holding his breath as he listened intently. There it was again. A low, creaking noise. And footsteps. And they were not somewhere else in the house. They were right in front of his room. At the door.

Sean craned his neck till he could see the door, already knowing that his neck would begin hurting after just a few seconds. His breathing was short and shallow as he watched the door open, inch by inch. Oh fuck, please no. He licked his lips, his tongue sticking to the dry roof of his mouth. No, please. It was too early. Damn. He closed his eyes, defeat drowning the apprehensive tension from his body.

Evie. He looked at her, desperately willing his face not to show the panic he felt. He had no way of getting out of this without waking Karl and the other man would probably freak even more than he. And Evie had already seen them anyway. Well. At least they were both still clothed. And Evie had not screamed or anything yet. And the situation had quite effectively taken care of his morning erection.

He waited, wishing that he could just disappear, could just make himself invisible somehow. Evie slowly tiptoed into the room, looking down at him and Karl with a thoughtful frown.

“Evie…” he whispered, trailing off as Evie shook her head, laying her index finger on her lips. O-kay… Sean blinked slowly, completely confused.

“It’s okay, Dad.” Evie whispered, giving Sean a quick, brilliant smile before she pressed an even quicker kiss to his cheek and ran out of the room.

Sean frowned, staring at the door, which was now closed again in deceptive peace. That had not exactly happened the way he had expected it. Of course he would have been a lot happier if he had been able to tell Evie of his feelings for Karl after he had made his wish. After he knew whether Karl would stay or go. And why had Evie seemed so happy about this development? He had always assumed that Evie would react negatively if he ever chose a new, permanent partner. At least that was what each and every one of the therapists he had sent Evie to after Abigail’s accident had told him to expect

Well. Sean yawned, slightly distracted by the fact that Karl had just tightened the hold he had on Sean muttering something under his breath. Sean grinned, hysterical laughter bubbling up inside of him. It seemed almost as if Karl had somehow sensed that he was agitated and was now trying to calm him down, to soothe him. Cute. So… should he wake up Karl and go to talk to Evie? Sean sighed.

He doubted that it would do much good, especially since he had no idea what to tell her. And he was loath to give her unfounded hope, to tell her that he wanted Karl to stay with them, when the whole wish business had not been resolved yet. Sighing deeply he allowed himself to drift back into sleep. Life would be so much easier without love, fairies, whishes and all the other little problems people had to face. He closed his eyes, nudging Karl’s arm till he finally managed to settle his head comfortably on it. It would be so much easier. He yawned. And so much more boring.


~***~


The bed was already getting cold as Sean drifted back into consciousness again. Grumbling he turned, sighing as his hands searched for Karl. Nothing. He was alone. Oh fuck. Yawning broadly he opened his eyes, immediately sighing with relief. Karl was still with him.

The other man was standing in front of the window, his body turned into a dark shilhouette by the morning sun. Sean blinked, frowning. This time he could be sure that there was no illusion, no hallucination brought on by too much moonlight and not enough sleep. Wings. Definitely. There was no mistaking it.

He shook his head, but the wings persisted. Almost completely translucent wings, that were shaped like a butterfly’s grew out of Karl’s shoulders and back, glittering and shimmering softly in the morning sun, the myriad of colours that glittered on them even more varied and beautiful than the colours on a dragonfly’s wings.
Karl’s head was bent; the long curls of hair that were teasing the nape of his neck and the fact that Sean could only see his half-profile were hiding what seemed to be a soft smile. Karl had his arms wrapped around his waist; the long fingers of his right hand playing absentmindedly with the hem of his low-riding sweatpants. He was the most handsome man Sean had ever seen. Sean frowned. Karl looked… happy. For once Karl looked completely happy and relaxed. Sean’s stomach clenched in fear. What if Karl only looked so happy because he was looking forward to returning to the fairy realm? Because he was looking forward to leaving him?

“Fuck.” Sean mumbled, scrambling out of bed. He had to get away, had to think. Had to be alone. He blindly grabbed his shirt from the chair in the corner and ran out, slamming the door shut behind himself. He was too hasty to notice the hurt, surprised and confused look Karl was sending after him.


~***~


“Oh bloody fucking hell.” Sean groaned, raking his hands through his hair as he finally slowed down. “God, what have I done?” He stopped completely, for the first time since he had run out of his room actually aware of his surroundings. Great. “How can a single person be so stupid?” He asked the nearest hazelnut bush, giving it a baleful stare. “Just tell me. I seriously doubt that anyone else on this planet is as stupid as I am. I mean,” he squatted down, tugging at one of the bush’s blossoms that was directly in his line of sight, “How the fuck am I supposed to explain to him that I was running away because he looked happy, huh? How does one explain that?”

“Very slowly and hopefully at least somewhat logically.” Karl’s voice interrupted him.

“Karl.” Sean turned, smiling awkwardly as he looked up at the other man. “I didn’t hear you.”

“That much was obvious.” Karl said, sitting down on the stone Sean had been sitting on the evening before when he had been waiting for Karl. Sean swallowed heavily as Karl cocked his head at him, raising an eyebrow. “So how did I manage to scare you off by looking happy?”

“Ah.” Sean cleared his throat, sitting down on the and wincing immediately. Of course he just had to sit exactly on the probably only sharp stone around here. “So you were standing there a bit longer then?”

“You weren’t exactly difficult to find.” Karl said. “You were here just yesterday. And you didn’t really run that far.”

“Right.” Sean rubbed his hands over his thighs, trying to get the sweat off his palms. “You wanted an explanation?”

“Yes.” Karl crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Now, if possible.”

“You looked happy.” Sean said, still rubbing his hands on his jeans, even though they were long dry. “And so I ran.”

“Sean.” Karl shook his head. “You seem to have missed the part where I said that I’d prefer a logical explanation.”

“I…” Sean trailed off, stumbling over the words that were laying on the tip of his tongue but reusing to come out, “I…” Fuck. He needed to talk, had to talk. “I though that maybe you only looked so happy because you were looking forward to going home.”

“Okay.” Karl nodded, his frown lessening somewhat. “That was at least a bit clearer. But why did you leave?”

“Because it would have meant that you were looking forward to leaving me.”

“Ah.” Karl said, lapsing into silence. “I wasn’t, you know.” He added after a while. “Looking forward to leaving you.”

“You weren’t?” Sean asked, silently berating himself for daring to hope yet again. Damn. He really needed to get off this emotional roller coaster.

“I wasn’t.”

“Oh fuck.” Sean groaned, burying his head in his hands. “Now I’m feeling even more stupid.” Sean refused to look up as he heard Karl move, heard grass and moss whisper under the other man’s feet. He was still refusing to look up, even when he sensed Karl sitting down right in front of him, even when something touched his legs. Sean had no doubt that nothing could be more embarrassing than this.

“Sean.”

Sean lowered his hands, silently watching Karl. The other man had mirrored his pose and was sitting close enough for their knees to touch. Sean smiled apologetically at the other man. “Your wings are beautiful, you know.” He said quietly. “Really beautiful.”

“You.” Karl blinked and Sean had to bite his tongue to keep himself from laughing out loud. The astonishment in Karl’s face was absolutely hilarious. “You saw them?”

“Yes.” Sean said earnestly. “I saw them earlier, when you were looking out of the window.”

“But that wasn’t the reason why you ran.”

“No.” Sean shook his head. “Really. It wasn’t the reason why I freaked out.”

He frowned as a brilliant smile suddenly lit Karl’s features. “So you really believe me.” Karl said after a while. “You really believe in the fairy realm.”

“I guess I have for quite some time.” Sean said slowly, reluctantly, “I think I was just afraid of admitting it.” He paused, searching Karl’s gaze. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Karl nodded, looking down at their linked hands, which were resting on their knees. “I knew.”

“What a pair of fools we are.” Sean shook his head, smiling ruefully.

“So where do we go from here?” Karl asked after a while.

“Actually…” Sean hesitated. Was now really the right time? But when if not now? He sighed, shaking his head. He simply did not have enough time left. “I’d like to ask you a question.” He said instead, still stalling for time. “If you don’t mind.”

Karl smiled, squeezing Sean’s hand. “I don’t.”

“Good.” Sean grinned, mentally kicking himself. Now! He had to. “I know what I want to wish for,” he said finally, “And I’d like to make my wish now.”

Karl frowned at him. “Right now?”

Sean nodded, sitting up straight. “Yes, right now. As I said before, I have already decided what I want to wish for.”

“Okay.” Karl nodded. Sean shivered under the other man’s intense gaze. “But remember, you have to wish for your heart’s desire.”

“I remember.” Sean smiled. “And I know what I want. So,” he shrugged, “Is there anything special you have to do or say before I make my wish?”

“No.” Karl shook his head. “There’s nothing. You can just… go ahead and make your wish.”

“Okay.” Sean swallowed audibly, trying to get a grip on his nervosity. This had to work. It simply had. Because he had no idea what he could or would do of it did not work. “I’ll make my wish then.”

“What is your wish?”

“You.” Sean said simply. “You are. I wish for you to be able to stay with me. With Evie and me,” he amended, “For as long as you want to.”

“No.” Karl shook his head, jumping up. Sean desperately tried to will his queasy stomach into calmness as Karl retreated even further, putting the small boulder between them. “You’re not supposed to wish for me. That’s not the way it works. You’re supposed to wish for your heart’s desire.”

“Yes.” Sean climbed to his feet, reaching out for Karl. “And you said that you would know whether I had truly voiced my heart’s desire or not. This is what I really want, isn’t it?” He took a step towards Karl, stopping as the other man flinched away. “You are what I really want. And you know that it’s true, don’t you? You know that you are my heart’s desire.”

“Yes… but….” Karl shook his head again, once more retreating a few steps. “You’re not supposed to wish for me.”

“But you can’t grant my wish unless I wish for you.” Sean insisted. He exhaled a painful breath, gulping down a lump in his throat that felt like a sea urchin. “Unless you don’t want to stay with us.”

“No.” Karl protested, holding up his hands, “That’s not it, that’s not the problem. It’s just…. you’re not supposed to wish for me.”

“But I have.” Sean insisted. “And everything else would be a lie.”

“I….” Karl gestured at the woods, “I’m sorry but I have to.. I mean I really need to ask someone…” he trailed off again, eyeing Sean with a panicked look in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He said again, still shaking his head.

Sean stood alone, blinking away the stinging tears in his eyes as he watched Karl leave him. Again.