The secret life

Part 13.2

“Is that what you want, Elrohir, muindor-nîn? Is that what you want me to do? To give in to my carnal desires? Well I could never possibly turn you down.”
And with that, he tore his brothers leggins from his body and forced his legs apart. He dropped his own pants then and Elrohir could already feel Elladans throbbing arousal at his entrance. He was too shocked to fight against his twin, all he could do was to lay still and await the pain.
But then, Elladan saw his brother’s face. Elrohir had his eyes tightly shut, his lips pressed together, tears were streaming down his cheeks. Immediately the older twin came to his senses. A throaty “Muindor!” left his lips as he backed off his brother’s motionless body and broke down a little apart from him in the grass. And for the first time in five years, he found himself crying. Lying on his stomach, the face buried in the grass, fingers dug in the earth, he couldn’t stop his tears from falling anymore, now that the dam had finally broken. All the feelings, Elladan had repressed for so long finally erupted from deep inside his soul.
Elrohir needed some time to compose himself again, then he crawled over to his brother and began to stroke his back gently.
“It’s ok, Elladan, let it out. You have kept this inside for too long, let go of your hatred, allow yourself to feel again.”
Three hours they stayed like this in the grass. The sun was about to set, when Elladan found himself able to speak again.
“I’ve failed you all... first naneth, Adar and Arwen... and now I failed you.”
“You didn’t fail me. You have stopped your actions right in time... and somehow I knew you couldn’t hurt me. And why do you think you failed our family?”
“Adar wanted us to ride to Lorien to fetch naneth, but I told him a simple warrior escort would do... I...I didn’t want you to enter the Golden Wood!”
“You never told me! Why didn’t you want that?”
“Because of Rumil... I know he’s interested in you and I... I... know you like him and I was afraid... you two would possibly... Oh please forgive me. It was all because of my jealousy, all because I was weak. It’s my fault that this happened. And I couldn’t even rescue her. I know I have no right to mourn, but, Elrohir, I miss her so. Forgive my weakness, muindor, saes!“ Another keening wail left his throat and the tears started streaming anew...
“You are allowed to feel, Elladan, that’s no weakness... You are allowed to mourn her passing, you are allowed to miss her. And you are also allowed to love.”
“Don’t you understand, what I’m saying: I brought all this upon us – it was my fault she suffered...”
“But you couldn’t know what would happen... there have been no orc-sightings, we all thought the roads safe. And do you really believe, we could have spared her this fate? Most likely we would be also dead by now, like the rest of her escort.”
“Still it is my fault... Oh Elbereth, is this the punishment for my selfishness, my disgrace, for desiring my brother? But why you brought this fate to HER??? It should be me suffering, not her... I would have gladly volunteered, even if those orcs would have ended my life! I have no desire to live with that guilt!”
“There is NO guilt, muindor... and the Valar did not punish you or naneth... We simply cannot understand their meddling in our fates. And as much as I would have done everything to spare her the pain, your death would have been a much greater loss for me... a loss, I could not have dealed with!”
“It would have been better for everyone... I should have turned away from you, let you find happiness in the arms of another, maybe with Rumil. But instead I brought this disgrace above us by loving you.”
“Don’t say that, Elladan. You are everything that’s good in my life. There will never be another for me, not Rumil, no one... just you! I love you too... may the Valar curse me, may the world shun me, that simply doesn’t matter to me as long as you are with me. I love you! And by everything holy in arda, I won’t regret it or pretend I don’t feel it.”
Elladan gazed at his brother with wide moist eyes.
“I had no idea that your feelings for me are THAT strong.”
“Don’t you feel the same, muindor?”
“YES! Yes, I do!”
These were the words, the younger twin had been waiting for. He took his brother’s face in both hands and gently kissed him at first on the right eye, then left, then he kissed the tears on the cheeks away and at last placed his lips on Elladan’s mouth. This time, his brother responded to the kiss passionetely, licking at Elrohir’s bottom lip, begging for entrance with his tongue, which the younger twin gladly granted. Soon both were moaning and pressing their bodies together and Elrohir whispered:
“I want you... in me!”
“How can you wish for me to take you, after what I almost had done to you today, Elrohir?”
“But you didn’t do it... I love you, Elladan... Please, take me!”
“I don’t know if I can... not after what almost happened today...”
“But I know!” And with that he took the remaining clothes from his brothers body and then gently lowered him into the grass. He also undressed completely, then laid himself atop of his brother and began to kiss his way down from Elladan’s chest right down to his groin. Slowly he licked over his brother’s aroused length until it was wet with saliva, then he sat up.
“Do you love me, Elladan? Say it!”
“I love you, Elrohir!”
Hearing these words, the younger twin craweled atop of Elladan, his legs at either side of his twin and then he slowly lowered himself, impaling himself onto the proudly errected member. While Elladan could only moan at the sensation, Elrohir slightly hissed at the discomfort he felt, because of the inadequate lubrication. When Elladan was sheathed fully inside him, he took his time until he began to move. But when his twin’s member hit his sweet spot for the first time, all discomfort was gone. Never before, Elrohir had felt this complete -he quickend the pace- it was as if pure love was floating through his veins – Elladan writhed beneath him, thrusting upwards forcefully- and one look at his brother told him, the older twin felt the same. This moment it became clear for them, they were soulmates, ment to be together for all times.
“I’m... close, Elrohir... touch, ahh... touch yourself... saes!”
Elrohir took himself in hand and began to stroke his member. H felt his own climax nearing too. With a loud cry Elladan came inside his brother, tears streaming down his cheeks again, but this time it were tears of joy. Only seconds later, Elrohir released his seed into his hand and bent down to kiss his twin passionately. Then he placed his head on the older twins shoulder and closed the eyes, enjoying the aftermath of their lovemaking. Eventually Elladans now lax member slid out of the warm tightness, but none of the brothers moved, both trying desperately to hold on to this moment a little longer.
After what seemed like hours, Elrohir was the first to speak:
“It’s getting dark, muindor. What will we do now?”
“I don’t want anyone to know about us... not yet.”
“I would lie if I tell you that this does not grieve me, but if it is your wish, then so be it. But I have a wish myself: Let us return to Imladris, muindor, let us go home!”
“Yes, Elrohir, you are right! It’s time to go home!”


****************

Lorien, 1484 T.A.

A loud thump on his chamberdoor made Legolas jump in shock.
“Legolas, are you ready. I don’t want to wait any longer... I will wait outside and if you are not there in the next 3 minutes, I will go alone!”
The young Greenwood prince sighed. If anybody had told him 10 years ago, he would make a trip to the caves with Haldir, he would have jubilated. But now this seemed to him more like a punishment than a delight. He swallowed the lump in his throat, put his boots on, grabbed his coat and run outside, where Haldir was waiting impatiently.
“There you are finally! I told you, I want to start this trip early in the morning!”
“But Haldir, it is still very early... The morning just dawned.”
“Sorry, but I forgot that a pen-neth like you isn’t used to rise at such an early hour... Do you want to stay here or can we go now?”
Haldir’s tone was everything but gentle, and he himself cringed when he saw Legolas growing pale and answering in a low voice:
“Go ahead, I will follow you.”
//Damned! // the marchwarden thought. //I didn’t want to hurt him, but I have to. Why must he be this beautiful... oh, these eyes are haunting me! And now I will spend a whole day alone with him... I must keep him at bay... //
Together they walked in silence through the woods for hours until they came upon some smaller hills, careful they climbed over some rocks until they saw the entrance to the caves.
“I know, it’s not the way of the elves to walk under the earth, but fear not, my elfling, the cave I’ll show you is save.”
“I’m not afraid of caves – I come from Greenwood after all. Caves are nothing new for me!” And with these words, Legolas stepped in the darkness. Haldir had to chuckle.
//So he has some fire after all... Well, at least I won’t have to sooth a crying elfling, afraid of the darkness.//
The Galadhrim followed his companion inside the cave. From his bag he took a lantern and filled it with some oil, he carried with him in a jar. The light, the latern provided was just enough to see the own feet, but Haldir knew this cave.
“Watch your steps, pen-neth! One can easily stumble here.”
Slowly the walked deeper and deeper into the darkness, the marchwarden went ahead. Suddenly Haldir stopped and took Legolas hand.
“Careful now, I want to show you something.” Together they stepped forward until they saw an abyss right in front of them.
“Get on your knees Legolas, and then we crawl carefully to the edge. The sight will be worth the trouble!”
Legolas did what he was told and both elves crawled on all fours.
“I cannot see anything, only darkness.” Legolas griped.
“Wait a moment.” Haldir said and took a small piece of wood, lit it and threw it in the abyss. Suddenly it became light inside the cave. The burning wood’s light was reflected in thousands of rock crystals, made them shine so strong, Legolas was blinded.
“Oh Haldir, that’s the most beautiful thing I ever saw.” The Galadhrim smiled and Legolas momentary thought this smile was evenly matched with the beauty of the crystals. Together they watched until the burning wood went out and it became dark again. They crawled back in silence.

About an hour they explored the caves, then Haldir told Legolas, that it was time for their way home. But Legolas had detected a small passage.
“Where does this lead to, Haldir?”
“It leads to anther cave of course. I was in there once... but for you it’s much to dangerous, pen-neth!”
Haldir laughed, but his laughter vanished the moment Legolas turned and disappeared in the darkness of the passage.
“Legolas, come back at once!”
But Legolas didn’t listen, so Haldir’s only option was to follow him. The passage was really small and Haldir had to leave his bag behind to go through. At the end of the passage he almost bumped into the Greenwood elf.
“Legolas we have to go back now. I am to meet with Celeborn this evening and for sure I won’t be too late because of a straying elfling!”
“Then go...” Legolas hissed in anger. “You don’t have to come with me. I will find my way back alone.” And he made some quick steps inside the darkness in front of him.
“Legolas! Stop at once, the ground is unstable over there!” Haldir shouted and leapt forward to prevent the worst but it was to late. The ground beneath their feet collapsed, and both elf fell into a whole of maybe 10 feet deep. The latern broke and it became utterly dark around them.

Legolas took a moment to check himself... there was no pain, he wasn’t injured apart from a bleeding lip. Then he immediately tried to make out Haldir in the darkness. He called the marchwardens name and a few seconds later, he heard a groan on his left.
“Haldir... are you alright? Are you hurt?”
“I hit... my head, but... it’s alright.” The Galadhrim tried to stand up, but failed.
“Damned! I think I broke my ankle!”
The Greenwood elf crawled over to where marchwarden’s voice came from.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Haldir... this was my fault. I didn’t want for you to get hurt.”
“It’s ok, Legolas... calm yourself. We need to think now... “
“Do you see a way for us to climb out of this whole?”
“Not with my hurt foot. Damn! If only we had some light.”
“Haldir, I... I... should have...”
“Quiet now... I need to think. ... OK, it seems to me, we can do nothing to change our situation for the better. But at least Orophin and Nessa know, where we are. When Celeborn notice we had not come back from our trip, he will have Oro and some guards looking for us...”
“Do you think they will find us?”
“I left my bag at the entrance of the passage, so yes... they will find us. But it will take time till then. Ahrg, my foot.”
“Let me have a look at your ankle Haldir. I have some minor healing skills.” The marchwarden hissed, as Legolas pulled the boot from his foot and then gently probed the bone.
“You’re right, it’s broken.”
“As I told you...”
“I could try to set it, but that will hurt.”
“Do you really think you are skilled enough for that.”
Legolas took his cloak off and ripped it in pieces.
“Give me your huntig knife, I need a splint.” He wrapped fabric around the knife and then placed Haldir’s foot in his lap.
“OK?”
“Do it Legolas!”
Legolas felt the leg, took a deep breath and then set the bone in place. Haldir screamed and Legolas hurried to splint the foot, to hold the bone immobile.
“Ok, done. That’s all I can do for now.”
“Maybe it’s better that way... after all the things you’ve done are the reason for our situation.”
“I already told you, I’m sorry! But it was your fault as well. You could have simply told me, the ground is unstable, instead of teasing me.”
“I didn’t tease you!”
“You called me elfling!”
“Because you acted like one... you still do. I new it all the time, you are just trouble!”
A few minutes there was silence until Legolas sighed and asked in a small voice:
“Why do you hate me so, Haldir?”
Unseen by Legolas, Haldir’s features softened and he shook his head slightly.
“I don’t hate you, pen-neth!”
“Don’t call me that!”
“Ok, I don’t hate you, LEGOLAS! It’s just, that my position as marchwarden of Lorien demand certain sacrifices... I don’t have the time to look after you!”
“I do not desire a babysitter, Haldir. I simply wish to be your friend!”

Some minutes later, Haldir heard a strange noise.
“Legolas, are you cold? Are these your teeth chattering?”
“Yeah, it’s s-so c-cold. And my c-cloak is gone...”
“Come over hear, pe-... Legolas. Sit down next to me.”
Legolas did as he was told and Haldir took off his own cloak and cowered them both with the fabric. The young Greenwood elf became immediately warmer.
“How long do you think it will take for them to find us?”
“Patience Legolas... at least a few hours... Tell me something. How is living in Imladris?”
And to distract the young elf, Haldir asked him about every detail of his life with Elrond and the twins and Legolas told of his first days in the valley, of Glorfindel and of the prank he had played on Erestor. In return he asked Haldir about his life, as the hours went by...
“... and so I became marchwarden. Lorien is my life!”
“And have you never been in love with someone? Someone who comes first in your life.”
Haldir hesitated...
“There had been someone, once. She died. She was the one for me... there will never be another! I will never love again... you will laugh if I tell you the story!”
“Try me!”
“When I met her, she was only a child, but I think I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. I couldn’t stop thinking of her and I decided, that I would one day go to her father and ask for her hand. I knew she was far above my rank, she was a princess... but I was willing to try everything, I even begged the ady Elbereth...but some years later, news were spreading that the girl had died... drowned in a river.”
Legolas sucked his breath... now, for the first time he heard the story, his father had told to explain Amas disappearence.
Haldir continued:
“What grieves me most is, that I wasn’t able to keep my promise to her. I promised to dance with her at her coming of age... you remind me of her Legolas!”
Legolas heart missed a beat. //Now or never!// he thought.
“Haldir, there is something I have to tell you – I...”
“Legolas, Haldir, are you two down there?” Orophins voice sounded through the cave. The had been found...


Translation:

muindor – brother
naneth – mother
adar - father
saes – please
pen-neth – little one


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To all peruvian sweeties, austrian friends, dark dreamers, greedy mouses and all others too:

I'm sorry I made you waiting again, but hey, it's a long one :)

Greetings,

Githoniel