A Lonely Love

Chapter 16

Elrond ran though the corridors of Imladris with the grace of deer, though it seemed to be a deer that was being stalked by an unseen predator. His plum robes billowed behind him, almost tripping him in its wake. In a flash, they were off and on the floor, his hair swaying from the current of air that was stirred up with his urgent stride.

Elves eyed him with worry as he passed by them in a blur of speed, Lindir, reached down and picked up the discarded robe, only to follow his lord, with a dread in his own heart. Lindir's breath hitched in his throat, thinking the worst had happened, that Erestor had....

Erestor blinked, his vision blurred, dizziness washed over him as before, he felt warmth in and around his hand, a pleasant sensation of stroking on his arm. Slowly, his vision improved, his dizziness lessened and he looked upon the one holding his hand. Gently he squeezed the hand that held his; nothing seemed to stir the elf beside him. Squeezing again, the golden head snapped up and looked with widened azure eyes deeply into his. "Erestor" was whispered as those eyes twinkled to a brighter blue, swimming in a sea of clear water.

"Glor...th…thirst…ty," Erestor stated in a barely audible voice.

Glorfindel looked towards the door as it swung open abruptly, the rush of fresh air hitting him full in the face, he drank deeply of it and smiled wide whilst letting his tears fall silently down his shocked face.

"Here, help me sit him up," Elrond stated outwardly calm, though his hands as he grabbed the pitcher of water, began to lightly shake from his excitement at finding Erestor awake and very much with them.

Glorfindel gently raised the thin elf at his side. Elrond came to stand beside him and could not help the smile that formed on his face as well as the glistening of his eyes, upon seeing his dear friend and valued counselor staring at them both. "Just sips, meldir...we don't want to overload your system so soon."

Elrond placed a hand on Glorfindel's shoulder and squeezed. "Is that better, my dear friend?" asked Elrond gently, looking deep into those deep dark eyes he had missed seeing.

Erestor sighed and leaned back against Glorfindel's muscled, strong arm for support. "Y-yes, much." He fought to keep his eyes from closing; they felt so very heavy to him.

Glorfindel held onto Erestor soundly, being sure to not let go, he vowed to himself always to be there to support the beautiful advisor, with his heart and soul, in any way that Erestor would have him.

"To say we were quite worried about you Erestor would be an understatement." Elrond stated as he smoothed back Erestor's dark locks. "How are you feeling at this moment?"

"Tired…yet…peaceful..." reflected Erestor. "It was dark, quiet, cold, I felt alone, so very...alone," he let out a long slow sigh. "Then I felt warmth around me, elves, all of you, I-I could feel your minds reaching out to me...I tried to open my eyes, but I was unable to. I was trapped in a dream with no way out...only despair and loneliness. Then as I felt like I would fall away, I would hear a voice…feel a touch…and I knew, I… knew that I wasn't alone...." here he coughed and Glorfindel rubbed his back in slow circles.

"I- I heard every word that was spoken to me..." Unseen behind him, Glorfindel closed his eyes at those words. "I could feel every touch, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not open my eyes; I felt lost and drowning in a sea of darkest night, without any stars to light my way. And then…slowly, stars appeared in the darkness, each representing one of you..." here he snuggled unconsciously into Glorfindel's hold. "Fin,"...sighed the advisor, "Your light was the strongest of all." I followed that brightness and it led me back to you, back to my home. Suddenly, I...I...knew...I knew my way home..."

This time Glorfindel felt Erestor slacken, asleep once more, though his eyes were of the normal sleep of elven reverie. Gently laying him back against the bed, Glorfindel smiled, kissing Erestor's brow sweetly.

"He has come back to us," smiled Glorfindel into Elrond's glistening eyes.
"Yes, meldir, yes, he has." Elrond smiled back. Looking at the tired elf in front of him, he spoke quietly, "Fin, go bathe and rest, I will watch over his sleep." Glorfindel made to protest but was subsequently cut off "Go!" Elrond sighed shaking his head in amusement.

Tuluiel came into the room instantly noting that the very air in the room seemed lighter, as if a darkness had been lifted within. Looking at Erestor's face, she noted the eyes half closed in the reverie of normal elven sleeping.
She and Elrond nodded and smiled at each other before she went about her tasks. No words were necessary between them, for they had worked long together in Imladris.

Glorfindel met Lindir in the hallway whilst walking towards his chambers.
"My Lord Glorfindel," nodded Lindir, as Glorfindel noted the worry in the minstrel's eyes. "Is…is…Master Erestor…." here his voice failed.

"Be at peace, Lindir, for he is awake and well!" Glorfindel couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. Lindir sighed happily in relief.

In no time at all, word spread throughout Imladris about Erestor's awakening state due to the presence of other elves, elves who were in the corridor as Glorfindel spoke to their chief minstrel Lindir.

The whole atmosphere of Imladris herself seemed to breath a sigh of relief. Tasks were accomplished with lighthearted zeal. The very birds themselves seemed to sing a brighter song. The flowers seemed more fragrant, the trees whispering their songs of glee through the rustle of leaves. One of Imladris' favorite sons had returned!
………………..

Weeks passed and soon they were in the height of spring. Imladris loved spring, welcoming it with open arms. Creativity was at its best, with most spending their days with painting, singing, weaving, and doing all their daily activities that they could, out in the many gardens, or within the beautiful surrounding woods. The air smelled of a mixture of roses, honeysuckle, jasmine, lavender, and of the freshness of spring rains. Goodwill and cheer abounded.

Erestor had been moved into new rooms, located in a different corridor from his old rooms. These were closer to both Glorfindel and Elrond's chambers. He had yet to run into Carandhol or Sirlith, as he had been taking his meals in his rooms, going to the library or his office, and then back to his rooms once more. His evenings were spent in the company of Glorfindel, often playing chess or just talking. Or sometimes with Elrond, Celebrian, Elrohir and Elladan, or any combination there of.

..........

The morning was bright as Erestor worked at his desk. Elrond had closed the door between their adjoined offices. This was not unusual in itself, for sometimes Elrond needed his privacy for whatever reason he sought.

However, this time, the door opened fairly soon after it had closed and Elrond walked somberly up to his chief advisor. Erestor looked up sensing his lord's presence. "Aye, my lord?" he asked hesitantly, feeling something amiss.

"Erestor, Carandhol is in my office and requests a meeting with you," Elrond put a hand on his friend's shoulder in support, "he wishes to talk of the dissolution…."

Erestor stiffened at those words…. "Glorfindel, I… I need Glorfindel."

"Of course, meldir, let me send someone for him." Elrond leaned his head into the library, "Melpomaen, please retrieve Lord Glorfindel immediately."

The little librarian glanced over and stood as his name was called, "Aye my lord," he answered and immediately went to retrieve the captain.

Glorfindel was fresh off the training fields and was heading to his office when he heard his name being called. Turning, he saw Melpomaen heading his way in a rush of dark robes.

"Lord Glorfindel," he repeated, " Lord Elrond requests your presence in his office immediately."

Glorfindel nodded once, following Melpomaen into the main house. Upon entering the library, he saw Elrond's silhouette in Erestor's doorway. Elrond turned towards the captain upon hearing the sound of footsteps on the stone floor. "Thank you for your promptness, Glorfindel, Melpomaen," nodded Elrond to both.

"What is amiss Elrond?" worried Glorfindel with deep concern in his eyes as he was bid entrance into the chief advisor's office. Erestor stood and crossed the floor to stand besides his dear friend. Glorfindel looked betwixt the two and automatically placed an arm around Erestor's shoulder for support.

"Carandhol is in my office awaiting to speak to Erestor about the dissolution of their marriage." Elrond said honestly.

The grip tightened on Erestor's shoulder and he swore he heard a low growl emanating from Glorfindel's throat. Carandhol had immediately been moved out of Glorfindel's office during Erestor's time in the healing wing.

Glorfindel did not wish much contact with that elf. Yes, he was a good captain, and yes, he protected Imladris well, nevertheless Glorfindel found he had no stomach for his once friend. They only spoke of assignments now and even that was perfunctory and strained.

Erestor looked up and into Glorfindel's flushed face, "I just needed you beside me," he whispered.

"I am here and will stay by your side, always." Glorfindel answered with such devotion that Erestor looked quickly into those blue eyes and felt a flutter within his belly, for he knew it to be true.

Carandhol stood upon seeing all three elves enter the room. "Glorfindel?" he questioned aloud. "Why is Glorfindel here my lord?" He narrowed his eyes feeling a ghost of jealousy? No, he shook the thought from his head. 'He cared not,' he told himself.

"He is here by the request of Erestor," stated Elrond as he gestured for all to sit.

"Now then, what do you wish to say Captain Carandhol, on your behalf?" Elrond encouraged the redhead to speak.

"I wish to dissolve this marriage as quickly as possible, today even, my Lord Elrond, for I wish to take leave and travel." Carandhol answered briefly.

"Does this have anything to do with Sirlith's request to change to Lothlorien's guard?" asked Elrond quickly, adding, "For this very morning I received his request upon my desk."

Erestor looked at Elrond, he had not been told of this occurrence as of yet.

"Yes," answered Carandhol hurriedly, finding himself looking down at his hand that still held the gold ring. Reaching down, he pulled it off and even after centuries of use, it slid easily off. Carandhol placed it on Elrond's desk.

Glorfindel felt Erestor stiffen at that gesture. Even though Erestor knew this was the best course of action, he was still unprepared for all the surfacing emotions inside of himself.

"Will you be coming back to serve Imladris?" Elrond steepled his fingers on his chin, looking deeply into green eyes.

"I…I do not know, my lord." Carandhol replied uneasily, avoiding Elrond's gaze.

Glorfindel made some noise of disdain and Elrond sharply whipped his head around to glare at his seneschal. Glorfindel lowered his eyes, humbled by that look. This wasn't about him; it was about them, about Erestor. He put one large, calloused hand on Erestor's shoulder and it stayed there for silent support.

Elrond glanced with sympathy at his dear friend and counselor of old, "I already have a document ready to be signed by the two of you and myself, Erestor, if this is alright with you? I had procured this document myself during the last week, in case of this need. Here, you may read it first." He handed it to Erestor who took it with shaking hands.

Glorfindel felt the shuddered breaths as Erestor read the document. Reading it quickly and thoroughly as he did with all papers of import, Erestor then handed it back with a nod to Elrond.

Elrond then handed the document to Carandhol. Reading it slowly, he felt a lump form in his throat. 'This is crazy,' he thought to himself, 'this is what you wanted.' "Aye, it is fine." He spoke as his voice faltered slightly.

"Well, then, " Elrond withdrew his quill and filled it with ink. "I will serve as witness to the dissolution of the marriage contract made of old, I was there to witness its inception and I am here to witness its conclusion."

Handing the quill to Carandhol, the elf signed his name as Elrond kept speaking, "Since this was a marriage of politics, and not love, since it was of convenience, and not bonding, it shall also be rendered served in full. Both involved shall leave with what they brought into their contract."

Carandhol handed the quill back to Elrond who dipped it once more and handed it to Erestor. Standing, the counselor took the quill and with an elegant hand that belied his nervousness, signed the agreement of dissolution. Elrond retrieved the quill and also signed his script to the parchment. He then took his stamped seal and pressed it into a thin plate of ink, placing his mark upon the document. He sanded the signatures and stood. "It is done, this marriage is dissolved in the eyes of Imladris, and all of Arda."

As he walked to the door to leave, Carandhol stopped, his hand on the door handle, and paused. He turned and looked into Erestor's eyes for the first time since this meeting was held. Erestor returned his gaze and though they did not speak, he thought he saw regret flash past Carandhol's face. Carandhol shook his head, "I win," he smiled, and began to laugh as he walked out the door. Erestor's face fell; he still had to belittle Erestor before he left.

Erestor was shaking, all of this still so close to the surface. The years of underlying abuse resurfacing so easily. Elrond was immediately at Erestor's side putting an elegant hand on each side of the counselor's face, forcing him to look into his eyes. "No one wins, meldir, do not listen to him, you are free…free of pain, free to heal, and free to love." Here Elrond looked into Glorfindel's face in acknowledgement of the captain's feelings for their dear counselor.

Erestor unconsciously leaned back against a solid wall of hardened muscle as strong arms surrounded his waist. He could feel the warmth and love radiating from the one who held him. He put his hands onto warrior forearms and gently squeezed. He knew his friends were sincere; though everyday he had to fight within himself to rid the thoughts of worthlessness that years of abuse had caused him. He knew Glorfindel loved him and he hoped that one day he could return that love. For now, he must heal.

TBC….