To Finally Belong

Chapter 16 – New Duties

Círa eyed the group of elflings suspiciously, as they did her. “Do they bite?” she asked Haldir.

“That one might,” he pointed to a little blond haired elfling with a mischievous glint in his eye. “His name is Damon and you cannot let him get away with anything, because he will try.”

Leading her over to the group of elflings, Haldir introduced them to Círa.

“Círa will be your new instructor during the times that we not at the Northern Fences,” he informed them.

“An elleth for an instructor?” Damon asked warily.

“You are a bit young to have prejudices against females, are you not?” she asked him, surprised.

“Since there are not many female wardens, it is rare that they have one teach,” Haldir quietly explained to her. “This group never has had a female instructor.”

“Can you shoot a bow?” Damon asked her, arms crossed.

“I am learning,” she admitted, somewhat defensively.

“Then how can you teach us?” he asked.

“I can teach you swords and knives as well as hand-to-hand combat,” she assured him confidently.

The elfling looked up at Haldir for corroboration.

“She is better than most of the other wardens,” Haldir told him, honestly. He gave the elflings a brief rundown of the matches that Círa had won against the other wardens, though Tamor’s name was not mentioned. Damon nodded when Haldir was done speaking.

“It sounds as though you have the skills to teach us,” the small elfling said, the matter decided.

Círa looked at Haldir, not sure how to respond. “You will really have to watch Damon,” he reiterated.

Turning back to the students, Haldir began to speak to them, making eye contact with each one at some point.

“I expect you to treat Círa as you would treat me. If there are any problems,” he looked directly at Damon, “I will be informed.”

The Marchwarden returned his attention to Círa, “I would like for you to start with knives today. They have only gone over the basics so far, so you may begin there.”

She saw that the students used knives with dulled edges and a blunted tip. The weapons would feel similar to a real knife, but should prevent serious injury. Haldir had already told her that the elflings wouldn’t be allowed to use real knives and swords until they were older and more proficient with the mock weapons.

“I need to go check on the others then I will return,” Haldir told Círa, placing a hand lightly on her shoulder and squeezing gently. It was the best he could do with an audience, though his eyes delivered an unspoken message to her. He watched as Círa took a deep breath and turned to face the elflings.

Haldir turned to leave and had made it about ten steps when he heard Círa ask, “Who wants to learn how to gut an Orc?”

Coming to a stuttering halt, the Marchwarden quickly changed directions and returned to the group of elflings, pulling Círa aside.

“Círa, please remember that these are elflings. They do not need to know how to gut an Orc just yet. In fact, their parents might not be too pleased with that lesson,” he explained as gently as possible. “At this age, we simply show them how to use the weapons and make it fun for them. It is more of a game. We do not get into serious fighting until they are much older.”

“But if it is all a game to them, how will they be able to defend themselves if it is necessary?” she asked, confused.

“They will not need to defend themselves. Their parents will do that,” he explained.

“Like my parents did?” she asked, her eyes meeting his.

“Oh,” he said, quietly. “Círa, those were unusual circumstances. Even if you had been able to use a weapon, it would not have changed anything. Your mother still would have died and they probably would have killed you, too. We want our elflings to enjoy their youth since it is so fleeting in the long days of an elf’s life. There is nothing to be gained by turning them into fierce warriors at this age.”

Círa looked over at the elflings and realized that most of them were about the same age she had been when her mother had been killed. No, she did not want to take away the carefree youth that had been stolen from her. Nobody deserved to have the childhood she had endured.

“I understand, Haldir. I will keep it fun for them,” she promised.

Turning back to the task at hand, she said, “We shall work on knives today.”

Damon frowned and looked away from her, trying not to let her see how upset he was.

“What is wrong, Damon?” she asked the child.

“I wanted to learn how to gut an Orc,” he said, dejectedly.

“Haldir does not think that it is appropriate for elflings and he is the Marchwarden,” she told the small elf. “Enjoy your youth because you will be an adult soon enough and once you are, you cannot go back to being young again. Do you understand, Damon?”

“I suppose,” Damon said grudgingly, obviously still not pleased about it.

They worked for an hour before she gave the elflings a break, but it was enough time for her to see who had talent with the weapons and who was going to need extra work. Damon had great potential and it excited Círa to see that he not only had the aptitude, but the ambition. There were some that had ambition but no great talent. They were the ones that would push themselves to become good and in doing so they would learn that hard work paid off. Others had some talent, but no real drive and they would also be good but they would not have to work at it. These were the students that Círa would have to push because they would not do it themselves. They would either become great, or they would be stubborn and settle for mediocrity, causing frustration for those who urged them onward. Damon was one of the rare ones. He had the drive and the talent to be great if his teachers had the patience to train him. His incessant questions were already getting on her nerves but to Círa it was a small price to pay for the privilege of being allowed to help mold this elfling into the mighty warrior that he could become.

“So if I were to gut an Orc, would I start from the center or the side?” Damon asked casually as Círa watched him use his knives.

“It will not work, Damon,” she said, fighting a smile. “I do not wish to get in trouble with Haldir.”

“We do not have to tell him, do we?” the elfling asked, raising an eyebrow much in the same manner as the Marchwarden himself often did.

Círa couldn’t help but laugh. She leaned over and whispered to Damon. “I will compromise with you. If you work hard for me and do not give me any problems, perhaps I will teach you how to gut an Orc before I return to the Northern Fences, but you must understand that if Haldir or your parents find out about it, I will be in trouble. It would have to be our secret.”

He nodded solemnly. “I will not tell Haldir and I have no parents to tell.”

Círa straightened up. “What happened to your parents?”

“They were killed by Orcs on their way to Imladris to visit relatives,” the boy said angrily, as he did practice thrusts with his knives. He turned to look at Círa. “It was a long time ago. I barely remember them now so do not be sad. I do not like it when anybody feels pity for me.”

“I understand,” Círa told him. “My parents died when I was your age. There was nobody around to feel sad for me, but if there had been, I would not have liked it.”

Damon turned and frowned at her. “How is it possible that there was nobody around to feel sad for you?”

Círa had assumed that her students knew her story and now she wondered if it had been kept from them intentionally. She wasn’t sure if it was a suitable subject to talk about or not, so she hesitated, finally deciding to tell Damon.

“Please do not tell the other elflings until I have had a chance to talk to Haldir, but when my mother was killed by the Orcs, they also killed all of the elves in our company. I was the only one spared and they captured me, taking me to live with them. It is only recently that I left the Orcs to come here.”

“Really?” Damon asked, his eyes bright with excitement. “You lived with the Orcs?”

“Yes,” she told him, “and it was not a fun life.”

“Will you tell me about it?” he asked, almost jumping with excitement.

Taking advantage of his excitement, Círa proposed another deal.

“Each day that you do not give me any problems, I will spend a few moments before training the next day, telling you about my life with the Orcs,” she promised him.

“But…” he was clearly disappointed, wanting to hear the whole story now.

“No, Damon,” she told him firmly. “This is how we shall do it. It will be a reward for your good behavior and it will not interfere with our lesson, as it is doing now.”

She quickly moved on to another student before he had a chance to argue. When Haldir returned, he watched in awe as Círa went through the lessons with the elflings without having Damon act up, even once.

“I did not think that he would actually listen when I told him to behave for you,” Haldir told Círa, shocked. “This is most unusual for Damon.”

“We have an understanding,” she told the Marchwarden, but would not elaborate. Damon just smiled at the much larger elf and continued to work with his knives, silently.

~~~

Círa had a second group of students after the first group left and then it was time for lunch. She was surprised to see Lady Galadriel waiting for her when the elflings were dismissed to go eat. Placing her hand over her heart and bowing to the lady, Círa approached her.

“I see that you have survived your first day with the elflings,” the Lady told her as they began to walk together.

“Yes, it was not as bad as I had anticipated,” she answered honestly.

“Did you not have Damon in one of your groups?” Galadriel sounded surprised.

“We reached an understanding,” Círa admitted, for the second time that day. She hesitated, but finally told Lady Galadriel the details. The lady covered her mouth and laughed when she heard the plan.

“Normally, I would not suggest such tactics for teaching, but I think that in Damon’s case, drastic measures may be necessary. Once you have taught him to gut an Orc, you will have to think of a new incentive for the next teaching session.”

“Yes,” Círa agreed, already having some ideas.

They walked in silence for a moment before Lady Galadriel began to speak again, more somber now.

“Círa, I wish to explain to you about Tamor,” the lady said solemnly.

Círa frowned, but she nodded. It was something that she would have rather forgotten about.

“Tamor was in love with your mother, long before she met your father,” the lady began.

Círa’s head shot up at the statement. She had never heard about this before but it explained why he had called her by her mother’s name.

“Your mother was not interested in Tamor. He was always more aggressive than most elves and we attributed that to his human blood. He scared her and though she was always polite to him, she tried to make it clear that she had no interest in him as a mate. He was obsessed with having her, though, and Lord Celeborn had to finally speak with him and tell him to leave your mother alone. Tamor insisted that they were in love and were planning to bind themselves to one another. It finally became necessary to bring your mother forward to speak to Tamor with Lord Celeborn and myself present. We thought that our conversation would be the end of the problem but instead Tamor accused us of turning her against him. It was a very tense situation for several years, until she met your father and eventually bound herself to him. Tamor was devastated and harbored ill feelings towards them both afterwards. It seemed that after their deaths, he finally quit dwelling upon it and became the elf he once was, until you came along. Círa, you look just like your mother and I think that it was more than Tamor could bear. It bothered him that the two of you were so different because it would remind him that you were not the elleth he once loved. Nothing that happened between you and Tamor was of your doing. You were simply caught up in the middle of something that did not involve you.”

“Still, If I had not come here, he would be alive today,” Círa pointed out.

“Perhaps,” Galadriel admitted, “yet he may have done some other foolish thing eventually. There have been other problems with Tamor over the years and I always worried about him. It is fortunate that he did not cause the death of another as well as his own.”

“But what of the things that he told me?” Círa asked. “He said that I distract Haldir while he works and he also said that my past will taint him. Haldir assured me that this is not the case, but yet I can see how it might be true.”

Galadriel smiled, “No, Círa. Your past is exactly that: the past. The elves in this realm have accepted you and there is not one that would harbor any ill will towards you or Haldir. I am not concerned about my Marchwarden being distracted, either. I know him well and I know how seriously he takes his duties. It is inconceivable to me that he would allow you to keep him from doing his job.”

Heartened by the words that Galadriel had spoken, Círa felt as thought a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. As she ate lunch with Haldir, she told him about it and he was pleased to see that her fears had been abated.

The afternoon was spent on the bow with Legolas, since Círa’s classes with the elflings were only taught in the morning. She had not been alone with the other elf since her return to the city and now Legolas regarded her with a slight smile.

“What is it?” she asked him, taking an arrow from her quiver.

“Something has changed, you are much less tense than before,” he told her, observing her closely.

She remained silent as she slipped the notch of the arrow onto the string.

“Have you worked out your problems with Haldir?” he asked, still smiling.

Círa’s blush told him what he wanted to know, though she simply nodded to give him an affirmative answer.

“Good,” Legolas said, deciding not to question her further. It was obvious to him that she had joined with the Marchwarden and there was no point in making her feel uncomfortable about it.

They worked hard until Haldir approached and reminded them that it was time to stop for the day. Círa told Legolas goodbye and took Haldir’s hand to walk with him back to their talan, talking along the way. They ate a meal before taking a very long bath together in Haldir’s tub. When they finally moved to the bed, Haldir began to kiss Círa, while testing out the surfaces and contours of her smooth body with his hands. She suddenly rolled him onto his back, watching his face as he raised an eyebrow. He never knew when she was going to decide to be the dominant partner, but he did not mind. Their unions were always good, no matter who led. She surprised him this time and did not mount him but instead she began to use her hand to give him pleasure. Círa watched as his eyes closed partway and his breathing grew labored.

Taking a deep breath for courage, she began to work her way down his smooth, sculptured chest, dropping kisses along the way. When she reached his very hard member, she kissed it, too, causing him to sit up and rest on his elbows so that he could observe her from beneath his lashes. She saw the desire in his face and it gave her the courage to continue. Lightly running her tongue up his shaft, she watched as he closed his eyes and dropped his head back in ecstasy.

“You liked that?” she asked him, doing it again.

“You have no idea,” the words came out in a whisper.

She experimented a little, finally getting brave and taking him into her mouth as fully as she could.

“Círa!” he cried out, reaching down to stroke her hair as she continued.

“What do you like the best?” she asked him, after a while.

He told her and she complied, deciding that it wasn’t too bad after all. Haldir continued to regard her through half-closed lids as she grew bolder in her movements and it soon became obvious that he was growing close to completion by the tension she could now feel in his body.

“Haldir?” she asked, stopping suddenly.

“Yes?” he replied through clenched teeth, wondering why she had stopped now, of all times.

“How do I…finish this?” she asked, blushing.

“Just keep doing what you were doing,” he told her, his voice strained. “Another minute should be enough.” He wanted to push her head back down but decided against it.

“What I am asking is will you pull out when it happens or will you finish in my mouth?” she queried.

“I would prefer to finish in your mouth,” he told her, groaning. “All you have to do is to swallow it.”

She sat up. “Are you jesting?”

“No, Círa,” he said, looking as though he were in pain. “I am in no position to toy with you right now. You could just spit it out if you do not wish to swallow it.”

She was about to tell him to come up with another idea but she saw the anguish in his eyes. “All right, Haldir, I will spit it out.”

She leaned over him and took up where she had left off. Haldir resisted the urge to grab her head and increase her speed. Instead, he stroked her hair as he pleaded for her to go faster. Obliging him, she followed his suggestions and when he finally finished, she found herself swallowing involuntarily. She was ready to make a comment on the whole thing, when he pulled her to his chest and kissed her intently.

“Thank you, Círa,” he told her, his breathing still not back to normal. “You did that very well.”

“I did?” she asked, breaking into a smile.

“Yes, it was perfect,” he told her, still stroking her hair. “You have no idea how much pleasure you have given me.”

“Maybe I shall do it again sometime,” she told him. “I rather enjoyed the feeling that it gave me.”

“What, the feeling of power?” he asked her, smiling.

“Perhaps,” she told him. “The knowledge that I could give you that much pleasure.”

“Now, I shall have to see how much pleasure I can give you,” he told her, rolling her onto her back.

~~~

The lessons with the elflings had been going on for almost two weeks when Damon showed up late one morning. Círa had been about to reprimand him when she saw the look on his face.

“Damon, what is wrong?” she asked, dropping onto one knee to speak with him at his own level.

“Lady Galadriel told me that I am to go to Imladris and live with relatives there. I do not wish to go,” he said, fighting back tears.

“Why are they making you do this?” she asked him.

“The family that I live with here does not want me any longer,” he said, angrily wiping away a tear.

“Damon, I do not believe that,” she told him. “They may have reasons why it is not working out, but that does not mean they do not want you. It is probably simply the case that the relatives in Imladris want you even more than this family does.”

“No, that is not the case,” he insisted, sobbing now. “I stay with a family for a while then I get moved to another family, even though I try to behave myself. Maybe it would have been best if I had been raised by Orcs, as you were. At least I would be learning to use real weapons now.”

She hugged the elfling briefly, surprised that he allowed it. She could understand why Damon could be a difficult addition to a family, as he was quite a handful, but it bothered her to think of him being shuffled around from one home to another. Once you learned the key to controlling Damon’s behavior, he was not difficult to be around, except for the constant questions.

“I am sorry, Damon,” she told him, not sure what else she could say. “Let us do our lesson now.”

As she had thought, working with the knives had distracted the elfling and soon he was intensely working with the others. Occasionally a cloud would seem to pass over his face, but it would soon disappear as he set his mind back to the task at hand. When they broke for their noon meal, Círa found Haldir and asked him about the situation but the Marchwarden had not heard anything and was equally upset to learn that Damon would be leaving.

“He needs to be here. This is his home and it is all he knows,” he stated, angrily. “They will be good to him in Imladris, but I do not think that it will be any different for him there. I am willing to bet that his new guardians will have no better luck with him than the families who have had him here.”

“Could we talk to the family that he is with now?” she asked Haldir. “Maybe we could convince them to change their minds.”

“No, the mother is to give birth soon and Damon is apparently too much for them to handle in addition to a newborn elfling,” he sighed. “I had assumed they would find him another home here.”

She frowned. “I would think that he would actually be helpful to them when they have their new child.”

Haldir sighed. “Apparently they do not see it that way. This couple, unlike the others, made it clear from the beginning that it would not be a long term arrangement. It sounds harsh, but they were doing him a favor, too, for he may have been sent away earlier had they not taken him. Of course, after having Damon around, I’m a little surprised that they decided to have their own child at all.”

Círa frowned at him. “I do not understand any of you! Damon is a wonderful elfling once you learn how to handle him. He is talented and motivated and so much fun to teach. He is a good listener and a quick learner. Some of these elflings are just boring to be around, but Damon is always fun.” She turned away before Haldir could see the tears in her eyes, but he grabbed her arm.

“Yes, I know,” she snapped as he turned her back to face him, “I am not supposed to turn away from you!”

“No, Círa, that is not it,” he said gently. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair. “I apologize. I should not have said what I did about Damon. I am also very fond of him and I did not mean what I said. I would suggest we try to take him for a while ourselves, but it would be difficult if not impossible while spending so much time at the Northern Fences.”

Círa nodded. If she and Haldir could not bind themselves together and have their own elflings, of course they could not take Damon in, for the same reasons.

“I will talk to the Lord and Lady and see if anything can be done,” Haldir promised her. “Maybe there is still another family here that can be convinced to take him, though I think he’s already been through most of them.”

~~~

Orophin leaned over Círa to look at the meat cooking in the pan. “It is almost done,” he informed her.

“Haldir will be so surprised,” she told him. “I have burned the last two meals I tried to cook. I offered to catch him a rabbit and he turned pale. Still, it is not fair for him to have to do all of the cooking.”

“The trick is to watch the meat constantly when you know that it is close to being done,” Orophin instructed. “Also, it tends to keep cooking for a bit after you take it off the heat, so it is better to take it off sooner rather than later.”

She nodded. That made sense, since the pans were still hot even if they were not on the flame. She cut into a piece of the meat and looked at it.

“Now?” she asked, showing it to him.

He grabbed her wrist to lift the bite of food to his mouth. “It is perfect,” he proclaimed.

She took the pan off of the heat and set it aside to anxiously wait for Haldir’s return.

“Rúmil should have been here by now, too,” Círa said, worried about the meal growing cold. “I hope that he will not be late.”

As though summoned by her words, the sound of Rúmil’s voice raised loudly in song began to drift her way as the elf grew nearer. Haldir’s deeper voice suddenly joined him in conversation and the two elves entered the talan together.

Haldir kissed Círa before nervously lifting the lid of the kettle to inspect the contents inside. “Ah, I see that Orophin has cooked our meal tonight.”

“On the contrary,” his brother corrected him. “Your beautiful elleth cooked the entire meal herself. I only offered advice along the way.”

Haldir raised an eyebrow and glanced at Círa who smiled back broadly at him.

They filled their plates and Haldir was surprised at how good the food was.

“Excellent, Círa,” he told her, kissing her cheek. “I could not have done better myself. Of course, now I will expect you to do more cooking.”

She smiled. “Only if Orophin is around to supervise me.”

“A few more lessons and you will be able to do this alone,” Orophin assured her. “I think that tomorrow, we should cook some fowl.” Círa nodded, excited about learning something new.

When the meal was drawing to an end, Haldir finally brought up the subject that Círa had been waiting for.

“I spoke with the Lord and Lady about Damon. They wish for him to leave as soon as there are wardens available to escort him to Imladris.”

Círa sighed. “There is no way to convince them to let him stay?”

“There is no family left that is willing to take him,” Haldir told her. “They are grateful that these distant relatives are able to do so.”

“What if we took turns looking after him?” she suggested, eyeing Rúmil and Orophin.

“Oh, no,” Rúmil said, shaking his head as he noticed her thoughtful gaze. “I cannot control that elfling. He walks all over me.”

Círa glanced at Orophin who nodded. “It is true. Besides, Círa, it just would not work. It would mean completely changing our guard duties and the three of us work well together. I do not think it would be a good thing for Damon to be moved around so much anyway. If his relatives are willing to take him, maybe it is for the best.”

She finally nodded, knowing that there was nothing else she could do unless she was willing to give up being a warden to stay home and care for Damon, instead. Her relationship with Haldir was too new and fragile for her to be away from him for such lengths of time, so she did not consider it an option. Maybe Damon would be happy with his new guardians.

“I would like to accompany him to Imladris, if it is possible,” she announced. “May I at least be allowed to do that?”

“I could not go along with you,” Haldir pointed out. “I have been away from my post far too much lately and do not dare to be gone even longer.”

“I will go with her,” Orophin stated as he picked up some of the dishes.

“As I will,” Rúmil added.

Haldir considered it. If he couldn’t be with Círa, there were no others that he trusted with her life as much as he did his brothers and for that matter, she would help to keep them safe as well. Of course, Rúmil would flirt with Círa, but that was all he would do, now that he understood how much she meant to Haldir.

“I shall see if I can find replacements for you and I will speak with the Lord and Lady about it,” he concluded, not wanting to be away from the elleth, but at the same time understanding how important this was to her.

The Lord and Lady were happy with the offer, knowing that Damon would be safer with the three wardens than with anybody else, short of Haldir himself. They agreed that the party should leave as soon as possible, so plans were made for their departure in one day, giving Damon time to say goodbye to his friends first. Círa wondered how she would bear to be away from Haldir during the journey, but it was something she had to do.

~To Be Continued~