The Healing of Elves and Trees

Title: The Healing of Elves and Trees
Author: Eliza 422 (eliza_422@hotmail.com)
Pairing: Elrohir/Haldir (eventually), Elladan/Legolas
Rating: NC-17
Summary: AU Story. Elrohir and Celebrian are captured by orcs. They survive the attack but Elrohir is changed. Will he ever recover from what he has experienced?
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JRR Tolkien.
Author's note: Elrohir begins the more arduous task of healing mentally. I'm no psychologist, and there won't be a lot of "mind healing" in the story - just something to
set the tone of what he's going to go through.

Chapter 14

Elrohir awoke the next morning more exhausted then when he had gone to sleep the previous night. He couldn't let go of his fears about being outside, about any elf just walking up to him, seeing him in this condition. If only he could make his father understand! But he would have to voice all his fears to make his father understand, and Elrohir couldn't do that.
He was startled from his thoughts when several elves bustled into his room and descended on him.
"I've changed my mind, father, I don't want to go out today!" Elrohir said. He panicked and pulled the blanket up to his neck.
Elrond gently patted Elrohir's head. "Don't worry, son, it will be all right. Legolas has promised to stay with you."
"I'll be at your side all day, Ro-Ro," Legolas said. He sat on the side of the bed and picked up Elrohir's scarf. He quickly tied it around his friend's head.
"I'll be able to stay for a while too," said Elladan. He threw some clothes onto the bed, then helped Legolas yank the blankets down and pull Elrohir upright.
"Stop! What are you doing? Let go of me!" Elrohir protested against the treatment he was receiving. "Father! Make them stop!"
"They're going to help you get dressed so you can go out."
"I can dress myself, damn it, I'm not an infant." Elrohir snatched the light sleeveless tunic from Legolas' hand. He pulled the blanket back up to his waist, pulled his sleep garment off, and put the fresh tunic on. "And I'm not going out!"
"I won't hear any more arguments, Elrohir. I told you yesterday - my decision is final. Now let your brother help you get your trousers on."

Elrond and Anorion opened the curtains in the room and gathered all the medicines in the room into a box.
"I think you're right, my Lord, we won't need these anymore. I'll have Mindel return them to the stores. We only need to keep the unguents and supplies for his legs."
"I'm going to move him back to the main house. There is no need to keep him in the Healing House any longer." Elrond looked back at Elrohir. The elf was arguing vehemently with his brother and Legolas about the trousers.

"Let me do it, Elladan. I can put trousers on."
"How are you going to do that when you can't lift your legs up? They are still injured, and we will put your trousers on so you don't hurt yourself."
"Please, Elrohir, let us help you. We could already have had them on if you hadn't started arguing about it," Legolas said, stifling his laughter at the absurd situation they were in.
Elrohir stilled when he saw Legolas' red face. "Are you laughing at me?"
Legolas shook his head, but tears were collecting in his eyes from his suppressed laughter.
"You are laughing at me! I thought you were my friend, Legolas!" Elrohir crossed his arms and sank back into the bed, unwilling to cooperate anymore.
Legolas burst out with laughter at the pout on Elrohir's face. "We're arguing about trousers, Ro-Ro. How ridiculous is that?"
Elrohir turned to glare at Legolas, who was wiping tears from his cheeks, laughter continuing to bubble up in the blond elf. Elrohir suddenly felt a smile grow on his face at the sight of his friend. He fiercely tried to suppress it, deciding to look at Elladan instead. Big mistake - Elladan was practically purple and his shoulders were shaking. Elrohir started laughing too, despite his attempts at holding it in.

Elrond joined the three young elves. They were finally recovering from whatever had set them off on their laughing jag. "If you three are quite done, I suggest we get Elrohir situated. Elrohir! You don't have your trousers on yet - what have you three been doing?"
At the mention of the word trousers the three elves started laughing again. Elrond threw up his hands in defeat.
"Fine! Whenever you pull yourselves together, get Elrohir dressed and out to the family gardens. I'll meet you there."
"OK, Father," Elladan managed to choke out.
"And to think Celebrian and I wanted to have children, Anorion," Elrond said as he joined the other healer.
"It's a shame you can't custom-order them, my Lord."
They left the room and headed to the gardens.

"Ow, my sides hurt, Ro-Ro," Legolas said. He was lying down next to Elrohir on the bed. It had taken them quite a while to return to a normal state of mind.
"It's not my fault, you wretch. You're the one who started it. Laughing at me, your best friend!"
"If only you could have seen your face! You'd think we'd asked you to eat horse manure or something." Legolas giggled slightly at the idea.
"Don't start again, Legolas. We'll never get Elrohir out of here if you keep it up." Elladan slouched in the chair next to Elrohir's bed. "Now Elrohir, let Legolas and I put your trousers on."
"Don't say trousers!"
"Hush, Legolas. Get up and help me with these -" Elladan paused. "Things."
Elrohir sighed, but relented. "OK, El, put them on."
Legolas sat up and pulled the blanket down. Elladan gently lifted each leg and Legolas slipped the trousers over the bandages. They had picked a pair of trousers that flared widely at the bottom so as not to interfere with the bandages. They could also be easily rolled up if Elrond needed to see to Elrohir's legs.
"What about shoes?" Elrohir asked.
"Nope - father says you can't wear shoes. Your feet swell up too much still, and we'd never be able to get them off!"
"And why would you want to hide your pretty little toes anyway?" Legolas said, grabbing Elrohir's big toe and wiggling it around.
"Stop!" Elrohir yelled. "Have you been into the miruvor this morning, Legolas? You're acting insane!"
"It wasn't miruvor I had this morning, was it, Elladan?" Legolas smirked.
Elladan blushed at his husband's insinuations. 'That's enough, Legolas, let's go. Elrohir, I'm going to carry you. I'll go slowly, but let me know if you feel any pain."
"Legolas, bring the blanket - I might get cold."
"Cold? Why would you get cold? It's the middle of the summer - and you're an elf!"
"Just do what I ask."
"I've got it, I've got it, quit moaning." Legolas folded up the thick blanket Elrohir had on his bed.
Elladan leaned over and slid his arms under Elrohir's back and knees. He slowly lifted him off the bed. Elrohir linked his arms around his brother's neck.
Elrohir felt a wave of panic sweep through his body. He pulled tightly on Elladan's neck.
"Elrohir, you're hurting me. You've got to loosen your grip."
"Elladan, put me down - I can't go outside!" Elrohir began to squirm in Elladan's arms, trying to get back into the bed.
"No, father says you must go outside or you won't get better."
"I'm not going outside!" Elrohir gave up struggling but began to cry. "I can't!"
Legolas came over and started to rub Elrohir's arm. "It'll be OK, Ro, I'll be with you all day. You'll be safe with me."
"Someone might see me!"
"What does it matter if someone sees you? Besides, we're not going that far - just to the gardens."
"You don't understaLegoLegolas. I don't want anyone to see me."
Elladan decided to try a different tack. "What about this, Elrohir? We'll have Legolas walk in front of us and watch for any elves wandering around. If there are any, we can wait for them to pass or shoo them off. That way, we should get to the gardens unseen."
Elrohir thought for a long moment, and finally decided to acquiesce. "Legolas - get my knives. They are under the pillow."
"What? That's where you put them?" Legolas couldn't believe it when he pulled Elrohir's knives out from under his pillow.
"Easy access, 'Las. You never know when you're going to need protection."
"Legolas, you've been sitting with Elrohir for eight weeks - how could you not notice the knives?"
"It's been as dark as midnight in here - how was I supposed to see any knives?"
"Let's just go or we'll never get out of here!" Elladan headed to the door and waited for Legolas to open it. He could feel Elrohir start to tremble in his arms. He was surprised at how light his brother felt. "It's OK, Elrohir, we won't let anything happen to you, I promise."
Elrohir nodded, but buried his face into Elladan's chest.

Legolas led the twins to the family gardens. They moved slowly so Legolas could check around each corner and peak behind each door they went through. It was early enough in the morning that not too many elves were wandering about.
Elladan heaved a sigh of relief when they arrived in the wing of the main house reserved exclusively for the family. They reached the ence nce to the gardens without seeing any more elves.
Elrond was waiting on a bench just outside. "Finally! I thought you would never get here."
"I'm sorry, father, but we were delayed," said Elladan. "Where are we putting him?"
Elrohir finally looked up and squinted in the bright sun. He hadn't been outside of his room in the Healing House in 8 weeks. He took in a shaky breath, smelling the fresh air, and immediately felt his heart lift. He knew his father was right, but he wasn't going to admit it!
"We're going to set him up in the side garden to the left - he won't be in the direct sunlight, and it's close enough to the outdoor privy that we shouldn't have a problem getting him there. I'm going to post a servant nearby so he can aid Legolas or whoever is with Elrohir."
Elrond led them to a small walled garden. He had set up a comfortable chaise for Elrohir to lie on, and several lounge chairs for visitors. There was also a large side table on which there was a jug of water, mugs, cutlery, and a bowl of fruit. The tall trees surrounding the garden let filtered light through.
"This is all I've set up for now. We can raise the chaise so you're upright, or lower it so you can sleep comfortably. We can bring out whatever you want, Elrohir, and leave it here - books and whatnot - the drawers in the table are empty. You can make this your private hideaway."
Elladan lay Elrohir down on the chaise. Legolas ghim him his blanket and knives. He promptly unfurled the blanket and covered himself from neck to foot, then slid the knives under the chaise where he could reach them quickly.
"Thank you, father," he mumbled. He felt very exposed out in the garden.
"I'm going to get some decks of cards and your chess set so we can play some games," said Legolas.
"OK."
"And I can practice my lute," Elladan said. He wrapped his arms around Legolas from behind, pulling his husband close.
"Fine."
"Son, don't forget Gailind will be coming to see you later today and he..."
"Enough!" yelled Elrohir. "Stop hovering! Leave me alone! I'm here just like you ordered! Now go away!" urneurned away from the other elves as much as he could, his anger almost more than he could handle.
Elrond was taken aback momentarily by the en oen outburst. He sat down on the chaise next to Elrohir.
"Elrohir, I know this is a big step for you - I'm proud that you made it. It will get easier with time. I've told your mother and sister that you'll need a few days before you can see them, so it will only be Gailind you see today."
Elrohir turned back around. "Really?"
Elrond nodded. "I spoke with your mother last night, and she was the one who suggested it. She thought I was throwing too many things at you at once."
Elrohir smiled faintly. "She's always been very wise."
"Yes, she is! Legolas, I've arranged for a servant to bring lunch out here for three elves everyday, so don't worry about missing a meal if either of you are here."
"Thank you, my Lord, that's a relief. And whatever we don't eat I'll get Elrohir to eat - he's just skin and bones!"
"I am not!"
"Yes you are - you'ardlardly eaten anything these past few weeks."
"I've been sick!"
"That's enough, Elrohir. Legolas is right - you haven't been eating, but that's probably because you've been cooped up in that dark room. I'm sure your appetite will return after enough time outdoors."
Elrond stood up. "I'll be back later on today. Legolas, if you need anything, just let the servant know and he can fetch me or someone else immediately." Elrond motioned toward a small alcove about fifty feet away where an elf was mending some clothing.
"Yes, sir, I'll keep that in mind. Elrohir, do you want me to get those cards or anything?"
"No, I just want to relax today."
"Have a good day, son." Elrond stooped over to kiss Elrohir. "I'll see you tonight. You might want to think about dining with the family soon."
"Stop pushing, father."
"It's just a request. Good bye." Elrond kissed Elrohir again and headed out of the garden.
Legolas pulled one of the lounge chairs over and turned it so he could lie on it and face Elrohir. He settled in and looked at Elladan.
"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to pour me some water? And Elrohir needs to eat something - slice up one of those apples."
"Playing lord of the manor, are we? Is there anything else I can do for you, o prince?" Elladan laughed.
"Nothing you can do in mixed company." Legolas waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Elrohir smiled at the banter between the two elves.
"I'm glad you are in a good mood today, Legolas - you were crying yesterday. I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain."
"No, it was my fault. I was just missing Elladan so much, and you've been so ill, I was scared, and I didn't tell anyone how I was feeling."
"But I thought you and Elladan have been seeing Gailind. Haven't you talked about this?"
"We've only been dealing with our issues as a couple, not my own petty problems."
Elladan sat down on Legolas' lounge chair and cuddled up to him. "Your problems are not petty. You should have gone to see Gailind, or found someone to talk to. I love you, 'Las, and whatever hurts you hurts me."
"I know, hon, but I just got wrapped up in it all, and the darkness didn't help. Now that we're out in the garden, I already feel much better. And you will feel better too, Elrohir. Look at how all the flowers your mother planted have come up. Gorgeous!" Legolas nestled back into Elladan's arms.
The three elves lay in silence for a while.
"Elladan?"
"Yes, Ro?"
"Where's my apple?"
Legolas burst out laughing.
"Your is is my command, brother," said Elladan, ignoring the peals of laughter coming from Legolas.
"Legolas, you really have been in the miruvor, haven't you," said Elrohir.
"I just haven't felt so good in weeks, that's all."

Elrond stood on the balcony off of his bedchamber, looking toward the walled garden where Elrohir was. He didn't notice Celebrian coming up behind him until she put her hand on his shoulder. He turned, surprised she had caught him unawares. He smiled and pulled her into a hug.
"We managed to get Elrohir into the garden."
"That's wonderful."
"I told him that nether you nor Arwen would go see him today, and that you recommended it." Elrond smiled at her. "He said you were very wise."
"He was always a smart little elfling!"
"It still bothers me that he doesn't want to see you."
Celebrian reached up to stroke Elrond's hair. "It will be fine, my love. I understand why he doesn't want to see me - I watched everything those monsters did to him. I was the reason he forced himself to cling to life when I'm sure he wanted to let go. He was the one who managed to spring us from the jail." Tears welled up in her eyes. "My baby was tortured and assaulted, and what did I do? Nothing! He was the one who had to protect me! I failed him!"
"Don't say such things, Celebrian. You didn't fail him."
She shook her head. "I did. Of course he doesn't want to see me - I witnessed everything they did to him. How shameful that must be - how abhorrent the sight of me must be to him!"
Elrond hugged her tightly. "I won't have you talk like this!"
"I'll be alright. Gailind and I are working it out - somehow I have to learn to live with this guilt I feel."
"Maybe when he's ready you and Elrohir should see Gailind together."
"Why?"
"You went through this experience together, so it seems only logical that you would have to face some of the consequences together."
Celebrian smiled through her tears. "That's a good idea. Maybe Elrohir got some of his wisdom from your side of the family after all."
"Oh, really?" Elrond replied.
"A tiny little bit."
Elrond growled at her smirk, but leaned down to kiss her gently. "I love you."

The day passed uneventfully, although Elrohir was too anxious to enjoy it. Every little noise he heard made him start with fright, and he forced Legolas to investigate every real and imaginary sound he heard in the trees for evidence of intruders, elven or otherwise.
"Legolas! What is that?"
"It's nothing, Elrohir, I'm not checking the underbrush again. No one is sneaking around out there."
"I know I heard something - I think someone is coming down the path! Legolas, please go out there and look! You have to stop them"
Elrohir panicked - he just knew he heard someone coming toward the garden. He reached under the chaise for his knives and held them tightly in his hand, ready to defend himself as best he could.
Legolas came back around the corner, a sheepish look on his face. "You were right this time, Elrohir. There was someone coming - Gailind."
He gestured toward the tall, stately elf behind him.
"Good afternoon, Elrohir."
"Hello," Elrohir replied softly. He let go of his knives and pulled the blanket back up to his neck. He started to tremble, terrified of what this elf would say, and even more frightened of what he would ask.
"Legolas, would you mind leaving us alone? It will only be for about 15 minutes - you can return then."
"Of course, sir, I'll come back."
"I spoke to Elladan earlier - he said that you had some issues you wanted to talk about? Let's schedule a session for you later on this week."
"I will. I'll just go now." Legolas quickly scooted out of the garden.

Gailind turned back toward Elrohir. The ellian was lying on the chaise covered neck to toe in a blanket with his fighting knives on his lap. His face was tense and white with fear. Gailind sat in the chair closest to the chaise and spent a few moments rearranging his robes.
"Your hair is so long!" Elrohir blurted out. He had been watching Gailind and had been startled to see the long brown braids. "It looks strange."
"Strange?"
"I guess I'm not used to seeing an elf with long hair."
"Ah. Well, I didn't get back to Imladris until about 3 weeks after your return. It would have been very awkward to cut my hair then, so I didn't. Does it offend you?"
"No."
"Good. So how are you enjoying the garden? I understand this is your first time outside in 8 weeks."
Elrohir shrugged his shoulders. "It's all right. I don't really care."
"I see." Gailind feel silent.
Elrohir kept looking at the other elf, and the silence unnerved him. "I would have preferred to stay in my room in the Healing House, but I was forced to come out here."
"Forced, you say?"
"Yes, forced. When you can't walk you're helpless. Elves can do whatever they want to you."
"You can't walk?"
Elrohir felt his fear recede, but his anger was starting to build. "Stop that!"
"Stop what?"
"You're just repeating what I say!"
"And why does that bother you?"
"Leave me alone! I have nothing to say to you!" Elrohir turned his face away.
"That's fine. You've said plenty already. I can see we have a lot of work ahead of us."
Elrohir couldn't resist looking back at Gailind. "What do you mean? I haven't said anything at all."
"Not all communication is verbal."
"I hate mind healers."
"Everyone says that, but our services are indispensable nonetheless."
"Your services? You're just going to try to make me talk about my feelings, about what happened to me and my mother, and all that nonsense. Well talking about it isn't going to change anything!"
"Healing your mind isn't about changing the past, it's about moving into the future."
"The future? Who cares about the future! It will take centuries to get me back to the way I was before!"
Gailind sat silently for a moment. "That's not what we're going to do here, Elrohir."
"What do you mean?"
"We're not going to be able to return you to the elf you were 2 months ago. That elf is gone."
Elrohir let go of the blanket and pulled himself more upright, so he could face Gailind.
"I don't understand," he whispered.
Gailind smiled kindly, taking Elrohir's hand in his. "The things we experience - whether good or bad - change us permanently. We can only move forward with what we have. That's life."
Elrohir slowly shook his head. "No."
"Do you think your father, your grandparents, Glorfindel, Erestor, and all the other elves who went through the battles with Sauron are the same elves they were before that time? Celeborn and Thranduil and hundreds of other Sindar and Silvan elves lost most of their kin. Many elves faded or passed to the West after that war - they were unable to cope with the losses they sustained and the life changes they faced. I don't mean that in a judgmental way - they were elves who received mortal wounds in the war, only they weren't physical."
Elrohir slid back down on the chaise and pulled the blanket back up. He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were forming.
"I just thought...I thought that once I got better everything could go back to the way it was."
"There's nothing wrong in thinking that way. Sometimes that's the only way to get through the physical healing."
"But it's not true....nothing will ever be the same again...." Elrohir began to cry in earnest.
Gailind continued to hold Elrohir's hand, letting him cry. He waited until the sobs had subsided to continue.
"I do have a question for you - I didn't talk to your father about any specifics of your current condition. You mentioned that you can't walk?"
Elrohir nodded. "I know that my legs have a long way to go before the bones are fully healed, but that's not the problem. The nerves and flesh have been so damaged that I can't feel anything below the knees. I can't move my feet. My father doesn't know that I know - I think he's hoping that it will change soon, but I know it won't."
"I see."
"So what kind of life am I going to lead? What use am I if I can't walk? What elf would ever..." Elrohir stopped, unwilling to continue.
"We're not going to be able to answer those questions today."
"What a surprise."
Gailind ignored the comment. "I do have one thing I want you to do. If I remember correctly, you developed quite a skill in embroidery during your tenure in Mirkwood. Is that right?"
"Yes."
"I want you to work at least a couple of hours each day on some kind of embroidery project. It can be whatever you want it to be - a decorative piece, a robe, the details don't matter."
"And why do you want me to do that?"
"Just indulge me. I think we're done for today. We've set up some good groundwork."
Gailind stood up. He gave Elrohir's hand one last squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"What? That soon?"
"I'm going to be seeing you everyday."
"Everyday!"
"For now. Good bye, Elrohir."
Gailind left the garden, not giving any sign that he heard the curses thrown his way.

Legolas was waiting outside the garden wall. He was worried about Elrohir. Gailind had said they were only going to talk for a few minutes, but that seemed like hours ago!
"Legolas?"
"Finally! You were in there forever!"
Gailind chuckled. "Young elves have no sense of time! It was 15 minutes, tops."
"That's impossible."
"You can return to him now. I don't think he'll feel like talking too much - it's been very difficult for him."
"And it's just going to get worse before it gets better."
"That's usually the case. Now, I'll see you Friday, midmorning."
"Yes, yes, I'll be there. Good bye!" Legolas yelled over his shoulder as he ran back into the garden.

Legolas stopped short when he saw Elrohir. He was huddled under the blanket, shaking. His knives had fallen to the ground. Legolas didn't know what to do, but remembered Gailind's comments. He hesitated for a moment, then lay down on the chaise and pulled Elrohir close.
"I'm here, Ro, you're not alone," he whispered.
Elrohir didn't reply. He turned to face Legolas and buried his face in his friend's chest, clinging tightly. The two elves lay like that until the sun slipped below the horizon.