In Her Words
folder
Lord of the Rings Movies › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
3,192
Reviews:
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0
Currently Reading:
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Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
15
Views:
3,192
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
chapter 14
Disclaimer: Tolkien owns them, I merely play with them.
Title: In Her Words
Author: Jade (aka Aragornsfavorite)
Email: elvenjade2@gmail.com
Warning: AU, angst, implied Slash.
Rating: R mostly
Type; FPH..FPS(implied)
Pairing: Elladan/OFC.
Chapter: 14/15
Feedback: more reviews means more chapters
Summary: Glorfindel reads from Anira's journal
A/N2 In Her Words has been nominated for best original character for the 2007 MPA (My Precious Awards)
Chapter 14.
~
Elladan’s eyes opened slowly. For a few brief seconds he was not even sure where he was. Every bone in his body felt sore every muscle aches as he tried to move. He could feel his panic start to set in.
“Relax” He heard his twin voice but even that sounds distant. He managed to take a few deep breaths and was finally able to relax. Once he felt he was able to move, he turned onto his side and saw Elrohir sitting in a chair by his bed.
“ You have not slept” He commented.
“ No” Elrohir shook his head. “ I was to concerned for you.”
Elladan took another deep breath and had closed his eyes. The instant he did he saw Anira smiling at him, her head tilted slightly to the side as she held her hand out to him.
‘I am waiting.’ Even though he could not see her speak he could hear her voice clearly in his mind and his tears welled up in his eyes.
“ You will be with her soon” Elrohir spoke softly
“ I should be with her now” Elladan replied, turning to look at him again. “ I never should have let her go on her own, I should have gone with her”
Elrohir shook his head as he moved to sit next to his twin on the bed.
“ You were not ready then.” He pointed out.
“ Was she?” Elladan questioned. “ Was she ready to leave her life behind, to lose our child and suffer the way she had?”
Elrohir sighed, not having an answer for Elladan no matter how much he wish he did.
“ She did not leave because she wanted to” Elladan continued, his tears falling once more.” She left because she had to.”
Sliding his arm around his brother’s shoulders, Elrohir pulled him closer, leaning his head against his twins.
“ She’s at peace where she is Elladan.” Elrohir said.” As you will be as well.”
Elladan broke down and cried softly, gripping the front of his brother’s tunic.
“ If I could take this grief from you I would.” He told Elladan. “ If I could have taken her place and be the one attacked instead then I would have.” He added quietly
“ As would I.” Elladan finally replied.
“ We leave tomorrow morning” Elrohir said” try and hold on a while longer then you will be with her again.”
Elladan was silent and merely managed a slight nod in reply. He closed his eyes again, wanting to see her one more time.
Glorfindel had entered the hall of fire long before any of the others had replied. He had made his way out onto the balcony and looked out over Rivendell.
“You seem even more distant today.” Erestor spoke softly
“ There is only one journal entry left.” Glorfindel replied, turning to glance him. “ I feel like I am letting her go once more.”
Erestor had known it was something to do with Anira. Glorfindel may hide his feelings from everyone but if one knew where to look it was easy to see.
“ She made a difference in the life of everyone she met” Erestor said. “ She is a lot like you. Glorfindel you just do not see it.”
Glorfindel gave him a soft, tired smile and shook his head
“ No” he replied, “ She is better then me.”
Erestor walked over and placed his hand on Glorfindel’s shoulder as they both stood silently, looking out over Rivendell
When everyone had arrived, Glorfindel looked over at Elladan. The oldest twin barely had enough energy to move on his own and was leaning on his twin most of the time. He turned his head to look at Elrond
“ Finish it.” Elrond told him quietly
Glorfindel nodded and opened the journal to the last page.
~ ~
I find it hard to believe that this will be the last entry in this journal. It is kind of sad to think about, almost as if a part of my life is coming to an end. I guess in a way it is and a new chapter in my life is beginning. When I was first given this journal as a gift I never thought I would have enough things to write about to fill all the pages, I was obviously wrong. It does bring me comfort to know that I can read this journal anytime I wish. Perhaps both Elladan and I will sit and read some of the things I have written. I can just see us curling up by the fire and looking through the pages.
We have been at the cottage now for three weeks and will return home tomorrow. All my things will have been moved into our room and what I am not taking there with me will be given to anyone who can use it. I have become used to having Elladan sleep next to me every night so that will not be a big chance for me. I will miss being here at the cottage and almost hate to leave. Elladan has assured me that we will return whenever it is possible. I like that idea though I do not think we will be doing much travelling once the baby is born. That is fine with me though. I look forward to being at home with Elladan and our child. Elladan says that I have started to show just a little. I think he is just telling me that to humour me for no matter how much I try and see it, I cannot.
I wonder how everyone at home is doing. If arwen has yet convinced Aragorn that he is in love with her. Last time I had a chance to speak with her she said she knew that he was, she just needed to make him see it. I do not doubt that she will manage to do just that. I also wonder if my own father has yet realized who is love with him. It has been clear to everyone else except to him. Or if perhaps Erestor has finally admitted it to him. There have been times when I would catch Erestor watching my father or my father watching Erestor and I just want to smack their heads together and tell them both to get a clue. Elladan laughed as I told him this and he said I have not been the only one to notice this. Apparently it is the main reason why Elrond always asked the two of them to work together on something, he two has seen how the two of them are and wanted them to spend more time together.
~ ~
Both Glorfindel and Erestor had looked over at Elrond, both with arched eyebrows and making Elrond laugh as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders.
“ Glorfindel?” Elrond cleared his through
“ Yes?” Glorfindel replied, his eyebrow arching just a little more
“ Keep reading” He grinned.
Glorfindel whispered something under his breath as he went back o to the journal
~ ~
Elladan had packed our things before we retired for the evening, yet I find I cannot sleep. It will be hard to leave her, not only has it been peaceful but I have had Elladan all to myself. I do not mean to sound selfish I just cannot help but wonder how busy things will be when we return home. Elladan will soon be back on patrol and I will once again assist Erestor, mostly in the library. I know I will be looking forward to the end of each day when it will be just Elladan and myself again. I do now that Elladan has been missing Elrohir as well. The twins are used to always being together for at least a few hours of the day so being away from his twin for three weeks now has been different for him. I can just imagine the trouble they will get into just to make up for lost time. As long as I am not on the receiving end of any pranks they may try and get away with it.
I will be riding with Elladan for the trip home, for more then one reason. First I enjoy riding with him, being that close to him as we travel slowly. The other reason is we believe my horse is also carrying. Elladan said he will know as time goes by so for now, just in case I will ride with Elladan.
We find it amusing that if indeed my horse is carrying it is by Elladan’s horse. Elladan said it was a sign that we were meant to be together if even our horses have chosen each other. We will see, in time, how things will go with the two horses. I do hope that she is carrying so that our child will already have a horse of their own and will be able to grow up with it.
It is almost morning now and still I find I cannot sleep, nor do I feel tired. Elladan is resting peacefully and looks as handsome ever. I almost hate to wake him up but I know he wants to get an early start. We will have breakfast first then be on our way home. I already know Elladan plans to travel slowly. I do not mind that only means getting to ride with him for a while longer. I look forward to riding with him. He is most comfortable to lean back on and just relax against. I love how he sometimes rests his chin on my shoulder softly or will just turn his head and kiss my neck. I know I will not be able to go riding for too much longer. Perhaps while Elladan is on patrol I will take a short ride though the countryside while I still can. It will help the pass the time until he returns. I am sure he will try and convince me not to, I will just to assure him that I will be careful and not go too far.
It is almost time to wake Elladan so we can begin our journey home. I am tempted to make him breakfast in bed but every time I have tried while we have been here he has woken up before I even leave the bed then insists that he will serve me in breakfast in bed. I love how sweet he can be and hope that will never change. I love Elladan just as he is.
~ ~
Glorfindel closed the journal slowly and placed it down on the table. He glanced at Elladan who seemed lost in his own thoughts. He took a sip of his drink and glanced briefly at Erestor. He hoped he would have a chance to speak with the advisor at some point.
“ Elladan?” Elrohir’s voice caught Glorfindel’s attention, making him look back at the twins.
“ I am fine.” Was Elladan’s quietly reply as she had gotten up and started to walk away. Elrohir was by his side the instant Elladan fell to his knees, as was Elrond
“ I can not do this” Elladan spoke quietly but the pain and the exhaustion was clear in his voice.
Glorfindel’s anger was getting the best of him. He stood up quickly, ignoring Erestor as the advisor had tried to stop him. He walked over and grabbed Elladan by his arms and pulled him to his feet.
“ Has Anira not suffered enough?” He growled. “ What they did to her, the loss of her child and having to leave everyone she cared about behind. Will you make her suffer losing you now as well”
Elladan’s tears fell but he did not have the strength to answer and merely stared at Glorfindel.
“You are allowing yourself to fade from grief, while her last words to you had been how she would wait for you.” He snapped, fighting the urge to shake Elladan, He wanted him to see what he was doing and what it would do to Anira.
“ She needed to go.” Glorfindel continued. “ We both wanted to stay, asked her to stay. She pleaded with us to let her go and we did. Do you not realize that I regret this as well?”
Erestor had walked over to Glorfindel and placed his hand on his arm, getting him to release his tight hold on Elladan.
“ If I fade…” Elladan started but stopped as Glorfindel shook his head.
“ You have no idea what death is like.” Glorfindel replied. “ You do not just wake up in the halls of Mandos. You have no idea of the pain and emptiness you feel, as you lay there, unable to move, to speak. All you can do is think and feel.” He reached over to tilt Elladan’s head up to face him, making him look Glorfindel right in the eyes. “ And you remember nothing. You have no idea why you are there or even where you are. You would not remember Anira, your parents or even Elrohir.”
Elladan’s face had paled even more then it had been as he listened to Glorfindel, not sure what to say.
“ You fight this now, you survive long enough to get on the ship come morning and you sail.” Glorfindel commanded. “ If you let go now then she will have lost everything.” He snapped before turning and walking away.
“He is right Elladan” Erestor finally spoke. “You need to go to Anira. Not only for her sake or you, but for Elrohir’s as well.” He added before he turned to follow Glorfindel.
Elladan turned to look at Elrohir. His twin’s eyes had filled with tears as he silently pleaded with him to do as the others had said.
“ I need to be alone,” Elladan whispered, forcing himself to walk away.
“ Elladan?” Elrohir called after him.
“ Meet me at the ship first thing in the morning, Elrohir” He replied.” Do not worry I will be there.”
Elrohir could only stand there and watch his twin leave the room slowly. He wanted to go after him but he forced himself not to, wanting to respect his brother’s wishes. He could only hope it was a choice he would not regret in the end.
~ ~ ~
TBC
Title: In Her Words
Author: Jade (aka Aragornsfavorite)
Email: elvenjade2@gmail.com
Warning: AU, angst, implied Slash.
Rating: R mostly
Type; FPH..FPS(implied)
Pairing: Elladan/OFC.
Chapter: 14/15
Feedback: more reviews means more chapters
Summary: Glorfindel reads from Anira's journal
A/N2 In Her Words has been nominated for best original character for the 2007 MPA (My Precious Awards)
Chapter 14.
~
Elladan’s eyes opened slowly. For a few brief seconds he was not even sure where he was. Every bone in his body felt sore every muscle aches as he tried to move. He could feel his panic start to set in.
“Relax” He heard his twin voice but even that sounds distant. He managed to take a few deep breaths and was finally able to relax. Once he felt he was able to move, he turned onto his side and saw Elrohir sitting in a chair by his bed.
“ You have not slept” He commented.
“ No” Elrohir shook his head. “ I was to concerned for you.”
Elladan took another deep breath and had closed his eyes. The instant he did he saw Anira smiling at him, her head tilted slightly to the side as she held her hand out to him.
‘I am waiting.’ Even though he could not see her speak he could hear her voice clearly in his mind and his tears welled up in his eyes.
“ You will be with her soon” Elrohir spoke softly
“ I should be with her now” Elladan replied, turning to look at him again. “ I never should have let her go on her own, I should have gone with her”
Elrohir shook his head as he moved to sit next to his twin on the bed.
“ You were not ready then.” He pointed out.
“ Was she?” Elladan questioned. “ Was she ready to leave her life behind, to lose our child and suffer the way she had?”
Elrohir sighed, not having an answer for Elladan no matter how much he wish he did.
“ She did not leave because she wanted to” Elladan continued, his tears falling once more.” She left because she had to.”
Sliding his arm around his brother’s shoulders, Elrohir pulled him closer, leaning his head against his twins.
“ She’s at peace where she is Elladan.” Elrohir said.” As you will be as well.”
Elladan broke down and cried softly, gripping the front of his brother’s tunic.
“ If I could take this grief from you I would.” He told Elladan. “ If I could have taken her place and be the one attacked instead then I would have.” He added quietly
“ As would I.” Elladan finally replied.
“ We leave tomorrow morning” Elrohir said” try and hold on a while longer then you will be with her again.”
Elladan was silent and merely managed a slight nod in reply. He closed his eyes again, wanting to see her one more time.
Glorfindel had entered the hall of fire long before any of the others had replied. He had made his way out onto the balcony and looked out over Rivendell.
“You seem even more distant today.” Erestor spoke softly
“ There is only one journal entry left.” Glorfindel replied, turning to glance him. “ I feel like I am letting her go once more.”
Erestor had known it was something to do with Anira. Glorfindel may hide his feelings from everyone but if one knew where to look it was easy to see.
“ She made a difference in the life of everyone she met” Erestor said. “ She is a lot like you. Glorfindel you just do not see it.”
Glorfindel gave him a soft, tired smile and shook his head
“ No” he replied, “ She is better then me.”
Erestor walked over and placed his hand on Glorfindel’s shoulder as they both stood silently, looking out over Rivendell
When everyone had arrived, Glorfindel looked over at Elladan. The oldest twin barely had enough energy to move on his own and was leaning on his twin most of the time. He turned his head to look at Elrond
“ Finish it.” Elrond told him quietly
Glorfindel nodded and opened the journal to the last page.
~ ~
I find it hard to believe that this will be the last entry in this journal. It is kind of sad to think about, almost as if a part of my life is coming to an end. I guess in a way it is and a new chapter in my life is beginning. When I was first given this journal as a gift I never thought I would have enough things to write about to fill all the pages, I was obviously wrong. It does bring me comfort to know that I can read this journal anytime I wish. Perhaps both Elladan and I will sit and read some of the things I have written. I can just see us curling up by the fire and looking through the pages.
We have been at the cottage now for three weeks and will return home tomorrow. All my things will have been moved into our room and what I am not taking there with me will be given to anyone who can use it. I have become used to having Elladan sleep next to me every night so that will not be a big chance for me. I will miss being here at the cottage and almost hate to leave. Elladan has assured me that we will return whenever it is possible. I like that idea though I do not think we will be doing much travelling once the baby is born. That is fine with me though. I look forward to being at home with Elladan and our child. Elladan says that I have started to show just a little. I think he is just telling me that to humour me for no matter how much I try and see it, I cannot.
I wonder how everyone at home is doing. If arwen has yet convinced Aragorn that he is in love with her. Last time I had a chance to speak with her she said she knew that he was, she just needed to make him see it. I do not doubt that she will manage to do just that. I also wonder if my own father has yet realized who is love with him. It has been clear to everyone else except to him. Or if perhaps Erestor has finally admitted it to him. There have been times when I would catch Erestor watching my father or my father watching Erestor and I just want to smack their heads together and tell them both to get a clue. Elladan laughed as I told him this and he said I have not been the only one to notice this. Apparently it is the main reason why Elrond always asked the two of them to work together on something, he two has seen how the two of them are and wanted them to spend more time together.
~ ~
Both Glorfindel and Erestor had looked over at Elrond, both with arched eyebrows and making Elrond laugh as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders.
“ Glorfindel?” Elrond cleared his through
“ Yes?” Glorfindel replied, his eyebrow arching just a little more
“ Keep reading” He grinned.
Glorfindel whispered something under his breath as he went back o to the journal
~ ~
Elladan had packed our things before we retired for the evening, yet I find I cannot sleep. It will be hard to leave her, not only has it been peaceful but I have had Elladan all to myself. I do not mean to sound selfish I just cannot help but wonder how busy things will be when we return home. Elladan will soon be back on patrol and I will once again assist Erestor, mostly in the library. I know I will be looking forward to the end of each day when it will be just Elladan and myself again. I do now that Elladan has been missing Elrohir as well. The twins are used to always being together for at least a few hours of the day so being away from his twin for three weeks now has been different for him. I can just imagine the trouble they will get into just to make up for lost time. As long as I am not on the receiving end of any pranks they may try and get away with it.
I will be riding with Elladan for the trip home, for more then one reason. First I enjoy riding with him, being that close to him as we travel slowly. The other reason is we believe my horse is also carrying. Elladan said he will know as time goes by so for now, just in case I will ride with Elladan.
We find it amusing that if indeed my horse is carrying it is by Elladan’s horse. Elladan said it was a sign that we were meant to be together if even our horses have chosen each other. We will see, in time, how things will go with the two horses. I do hope that she is carrying so that our child will already have a horse of their own and will be able to grow up with it.
It is almost morning now and still I find I cannot sleep, nor do I feel tired. Elladan is resting peacefully and looks as handsome ever. I almost hate to wake him up but I know he wants to get an early start. We will have breakfast first then be on our way home. I already know Elladan plans to travel slowly. I do not mind that only means getting to ride with him for a while longer. I look forward to riding with him. He is most comfortable to lean back on and just relax against. I love how he sometimes rests his chin on my shoulder softly or will just turn his head and kiss my neck. I know I will not be able to go riding for too much longer. Perhaps while Elladan is on patrol I will take a short ride though the countryside while I still can. It will help the pass the time until he returns. I am sure he will try and convince me not to, I will just to assure him that I will be careful and not go too far.
It is almost time to wake Elladan so we can begin our journey home. I am tempted to make him breakfast in bed but every time I have tried while we have been here he has woken up before I even leave the bed then insists that he will serve me in breakfast in bed. I love how sweet he can be and hope that will never change. I love Elladan just as he is.
~ ~
Glorfindel closed the journal slowly and placed it down on the table. He glanced at Elladan who seemed lost in his own thoughts. He took a sip of his drink and glanced briefly at Erestor. He hoped he would have a chance to speak with the advisor at some point.
“ Elladan?” Elrohir’s voice caught Glorfindel’s attention, making him look back at the twins.
“ I am fine.” Was Elladan’s quietly reply as she had gotten up and started to walk away. Elrohir was by his side the instant Elladan fell to his knees, as was Elrond
“ I can not do this” Elladan spoke quietly but the pain and the exhaustion was clear in his voice.
Glorfindel’s anger was getting the best of him. He stood up quickly, ignoring Erestor as the advisor had tried to stop him. He walked over and grabbed Elladan by his arms and pulled him to his feet.
“ Has Anira not suffered enough?” He growled. “ What they did to her, the loss of her child and having to leave everyone she cared about behind. Will you make her suffer losing you now as well”
Elladan’s tears fell but he did not have the strength to answer and merely stared at Glorfindel.
“You are allowing yourself to fade from grief, while her last words to you had been how she would wait for you.” He snapped, fighting the urge to shake Elladan, He wanted him to see what he was doing and what it would do to Anira.
“ She needed to go.” Glorfindel continued. “ We both wanted to stay, asked her to stay. She pleaded with us to let her go and we did. Do you not realize that I regret this as well?”
Erestor had walked over to Glorfindel and placed his hand on his arm, getting him to release his tight hold on Elladan.
“ If I fade…” Elladan started but stopped as Glorfindel shook his head.
“ You have no idea what death is like.” Glorfindel replied. “ You do not just wake up in the halls of Mandos. You have no idea of the pain and emptiness you feel, as you lay there, unable to move, to speak. All you can do is think and feel.” He reached over to tilt Elladan’s head up to face him, making him look Glorfindel right in the eyes. “ And you remember nothing. You have no idea why you are there or even where you are. You would not remember Anira, your parents or even Elrohir.”
Elladan’s face had paled even more then it had been as he listened to Glorfindel, not sure what to say.
“ You fight this now, you survive long enough to get on the ship come morning and you sail.” Glorfindel commanded. “ If you let go now then she will have lost everything.” He snapped before turning and walking away.
“He is right Elladan” Erestor finally spoke. “You need to go to Anira. Not only for her sake or you, but for Elrohir’s as well.” He added before he turned to follow Glorfindel.
Elladan turned to look at Elrohir. His twin’s eyes had filled with tears as he silently pleaded with him to do as the others had said.
“ I need to be alone,” Elladan whispered, forcing himself to walk away.
“ Elladan?” Elrohir called after him.
“ Meet me at the ship first thing in the morning, Elrohir” He replied.” Do not worry I will be there.”
Elrohir could only stand there and watch his twin leave the room slowly. He wanted to go after him but he forced himself not to, wanting to respect his brother’s wishes. He could only hope it was a choice he would not regret in the end.
~ ~ ~
TBC