The Corruption and Degredation of Mary Sue

Chapter 13: Working Girl

Kalina opened her eyes sometime around midday and blinked wearily at her surroundings. She’d fallen asleep with her head on Legolas’s chest which had resulted in a severely stiff neck. Without paying too much attention, she grabbed some clothes and dressed well enough to crawl to the kitchen for some much needed life-giving caffeine. She opened the door and nearly screamed as a bedraggled human wench stood waiting in front of it, her bloodshot eyes gleaming.

“Have you got any more of that shit?” demanded Celebelen.

“What the fuck is that stuck to your face?” asked Kalina, mesmerised by the state of the human. Apparently she hadn’t washed her face since her tearful breakdown, and her face was streaked with makeup and something else that was probably some kind of bodily secretion.

“Look… I woke up three hours ago and I really want some of that stuff Haldir gave me last night. I figured you’d know where to get some,” she demanded.

“What the fuck are you on about…. Oh!” Kalina’s cunning plan suddenly returned to her sleepy brain. ‘Fuck me, he actually did it!’ Kalina’s eyes blinked in disbelief before an evil grin crossed over her face. “Well, it’s rather expensive stuff and while I have some, it’s medicinal value is fairly great. What do you have to trade for it?” asked Kalina.

“I- I- I don’t know,” said Celebelen, her eyes darting around wildly. She really really wanted more of that herbal medicine. It obviously made her relax, and right now she wasn’t relaxed. Therefore her logic dictated that she needed more of that wonderful substance.

“Well tell you what. You have this,” said Kalina, handing Celebelen a joint she’d managed to misplace and found lying on the floor next to the door for some convenient reason. “Then I suggest you clean yourself up, find something tight to wear and start spending some time with the more lonely looking denizens of this household.”

“How is THAT going to get me money?” demanded Celebelen. Kalina made no response but merely smiled at her. It suddenly dawned on the hapless human what this monstrous bitch was insinuating. Her jaw dropped in horror.

“Of course it’s entirely up to you. I mean, it’s not like you need it, is it now?” asked Kalina sweetly. Celebelen looked awkward and tried to think of something to say but she couldn’t. And all she wanted was another hit of that sweet sweet smoke she had breathed the night before. “Look. Why don’t you go and clean yourself up and see how you feel in an hour or two?” Kalina stifled a yawn. Looking at the joint confusedly, Celebelen headed back to her room. Legolas appeared beside Kalina, yawning and scratching himself and blinking at Celebelen’s departure.

“What have you done to her now?” he asked.

“Nothing. If she wants more crack she’ll have to find a way to pay me,” said Kalina. Legolas leaned his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her.

“You’re evil,” he said lovingly.

“And your breath smells decidedly unpleasant this morning,” retorted Kalina, pushing him off her. “I also believe you promised me you wouldn’t fall asleep here where certain parental units could potentially walk in and get very upset seeing their youngest child being taken advantage of.”

“It’s not my fault you drive me to the brink of exhaustion,” muttered Legolas, feeling cranky and wanting some caffeine.

“Is that a complaint?” Kalina’s voice turned subtly threatening.

“No, no, just an observation,” said Legolas quickly.

“Good. Now go forth and bring me tea. I need to acquire some slutty garments,” said Kalina.

“Why?” asked Legolas.

“To help the pitiful human dress up her assets. Call it a business investment. I can charge her extortionate prices for crack and make a tidy profit out of it.”

“Other than the fact she’s blonde and annoying, what have you got against her?” asked Legolas, curious more than anything else.

“She’s so bloody vapid! It’s like she has no personality yet she swans in here and expects us all to drop everything. You know how you just meet some people and the first thing you do is get an urge to stick something sharp through the base of their skull? Well that’s how I feel about her,” said Kalina.

“Fair enough.” That was perfectly valid justification as far as Legolas was concerned. After all, she’d juriedried to subject the poor prince to the likes of commitment. He shuddered mentally at the thought. Life was good as it was and Kalina as a friend came with distinct benefits without the constant nagging and constant inquiries about her weight and appearance and had no interest whatsoever in any kind of commitment beyond sex when it was convenient. And best of all, he wasn’t expected to recite poetry or look his prettiest.

“Are you going to do my bidding or are you just going to stare off into space until I stab you in the arse to make you move?” demanded Kalina, breaking Legolas’s reverie.

“Sorry, mistress,” said Legolas, hanging his head and pouting slightly.

“And stop looking so intolerably cute or I’ll have to punish you right here and now,” said Kalina.

“That’s a bad thing?” asked Legolas.

“Fetch me my tea. I have deviant plots to carry out,” said Kalina imperiously, turning and returning to her boudoir. Legolas looked briefly disappointed as he headed to the kitchens but that soon dissipated once he ran into Haldir, raiding the larder.

“I see you accomplished your mission,” said Legolas dryly.

“And got a blow job to boot,” he said smugly, biting into a leftover chicken thigh.

“She’s quite pliable when you pump her full of drugs,” agreed Legolas. “And I think Kalina’s about to make her existence more wretched.”

“I’d believe that. What’s the bitch doing?”

“Aside from keeping her strung out on drugs? I think she’s coercing her into doing nasty things to get cash to pay Kalina for the crack,” said Legolas. Haldir laughed sadistically as the other elf poured some tea and decided to suck up and bring Kalina breakfast in her room.

“I still can’t believe you allow yourself to get naked in front of something with a mind like that,” said Haldir mockingly. Legolas shrugged and tried not to smile too much.

“What can I say. She holds my interest,” said Legolas simply. Haldir snorted.

“Chains it to the wall then beats seven shades of shit outit mit more like.”

“Well, that too. And it’s so worth it,” sighed Legolas.

“Urgh. She’s done something horrible to your mind as well as your nether regions,” snorted Haldir.

“You’re just jealous that I get excruciatingly divine sex while you’re stuck coercing lost human girls to suck you off,” retorted Legolas.

“I seem to remember you doing something of a similar vein…”

“Yes, but that’s in addition to all the great sex I get.” The smug glean returned to Legolas’s eyes aslaidlaid out an assortment of cold cuts, bread, and cheese on a plate.

“Right. Which clearly makes you more of a sick fuck than me,” sniffed Haldir.

“Where exactly does all this animosity come from?” asked Legolas, curious.

“Aside form the fact that she tried to lure me into her chamber to torture me not ten minutes after we me? Well, the next day after that I find her in bed with not one but both of my brothers. And I wasn’t invited!!” Haldir’s voice quivered with indignation.

“And?” inquired Legolas.

“Well that’s it! The bitch assaults me and then gets it off with both my brothers! AND I’M THE PRETTY ONE!!!” His composure broken, Haldir’s fury was beginning to show.

“Well if she lured you off in the first place she must have found you attractive. At least until you ran away.”

“Oh shut up. At least I’ve got some self respect.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” said Legolas, stopping to kiss Haldir patronizingly on the head before leaving the sullen elf to his brooding.

“I hate you. I was in a good mood and now you ruined it!” yelled Haldir as Legolas meandered off feeling incredibly pleased with himself. Kalina was right. Winding up Haldir was a great way to amuse one’s self.