Two Towers Parody
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
16
Views:
947
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
16
Views:
947
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 13
Witch King: was flying around mordor doing the whole wk thing and stuff screeeching here and there and what not havein his beast flappin his wings "lalalalalala...i'm the witch king the witch king hmhmhmhmmmmm" he was singing in his head
Sarouns One eyeball: *from tower sighs*
Pippin: Again how can an eye sigh?"
Witch King: lalallalalal" singing coughing a bit, screeeching some more flying around not watching where hes going he about smacks a few wraiths on their beasts wraith 1:KING STOP SINNGING!!" he passes him by "sorry jim hmmmmhmmmm lalalalala"
Saroun: Why did I take humans as servents again?*thinks* OH Yeah they make Good Salves! Witch King get your Bottom out there and look for the ring again take your black 8 wariths with you don't come back tell you find MY RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Eye Blazes all hot and fireie like*
Witch King:Talk about a temper
(Warith #2)Jim: I know
Witch King: *Flys off with Pinkie* Good Girl Pinky if we find the ring I'll give you some stake
Pinky: *liked the sound of that so she flew as fast as she could not really know what a ring was but she'd look as hard as she could to find it*
Warith # 2 Jim: *Fallows after the Witch King*
Witch King: Jim go with those 3
#2 Jim: Aw there really nuts
Witch King: What do you mean * Looks over at Wairths #3. Tom #4.Will #5 Phill.*
Tom: Ring
Will: Ding!
Phill: Aling *they fly around in curiles singing this*
Witch King: They are not now away Jim I have things to do! *Witch king zooms off leaveing Jim with Phill Tom and Will.* Drat I forgot my glasses again if I returen who knows what Saroun will do.
Pippin: He is an eye ball! Never really saw what was so scarey about a big eye ball on top of a tower anyways.
Witch King: Shut it if you got swepted up in his spell then you wouldn't be talking Hobbit! *screeshes!*
Pippin: I wouldn't be dumb enough to get hipnotized by the eye!
Gandalf: Actually Pippin your too dumb for the eye not to take effect on you. *smiles happly*
Pippin:*Sighs*
Legolas: Anyways!!!!!!*Witch King flew over high above again but once again he couldn't see anything* So he flew a little closer to the ground but as he could see he kept going closer and closer tell Pinky hit the ground*
Witch King: *SCHREECH!* OH Doubble Cheese Burgers with Mustered and Pickles! How did the ground get so close!
Wariths # 6,7,8&9 *snicker high above on there fell beasts.*
Witch King: Pinky you alright
Pinky: *nods slighty!*
Witch King: Golly Gum Drops now I want a cheese Buger Come on Pinky we must make a stop at the Local Mc donalds! Im starved!*gets back on Piny and flys off looking for Mc Donalds.*Witch King's cell phone rings* What in the good watermelon?" He thinks and flips open his phone* Yellow Witch King!
Saroun: While your going to Mc Donalds will you Pick me up 100 Big Macs and Fries with a 1000 gallon Cup of water please
Witch King: But Sr you can't eat
Saroun: JUST DO IT Kinging your my slave *eye Laughs!*
Witch King: Yes Master *says in a mocking tone and Ordered out all the Big Macs and fires and Pinky Carried the cup and They set it on a table before Saroun and the eye just stared at it*
Saroun: *stares! barling blaring* sigh it looks so yummy.
Pippin: AHHHHHHHH this is so so so weird! Im out of here!
Legolas: No your going back with Merry and you won't move tell this is over
Pippin:Fine then * goes back with Merry*
Merry: Did someone say Mc donalds
Jim Phill Tom Will: *on there flying beasts sing* Ba Ba Ba Im loveing it!
Pippin: *hack Hack cough cough spudder* I am about to *hack hack cough cough chock chock!* to die!* Holds throat eyes watering.*
Merry: *Slaps him on the back and one mushroom comes spitting out of his mouth and hits Grima who comes ridding on his horses into the gates* Ewww * it stuck there like paste
Pippin: Oh thank you *he says laying down.
Grima: EWWW * he says trying to take if off his eye.
Saruman: OH thats just sick! * he says seeing this from his tower window.*
Saroun: Oh I think Im going to lose my cookies!
Frodo: *lost his already!*
Sam: *same here!*
Legolas: Thats just not right!
Gandalf: Fool of a Took Though I must say thats pretty funny!* chuckles!*
Treebreed: * come lumbering by and picks Grima up and tosses him in the water laughing and watching him sputter around*
Merry: NO thats more funny!
Treebread: Get over there to your rattie Master you worm! * shakes his woodie fist at him!*
Grima:* Can't see now out of his right eye even if the mushroom is gone he swam as fast as he could to the other side*
Saroun: *pulls him in* Oh Im so glad Im not alone in here anymore! *he says slambing the doors and 100th time locking it with all the dead bults!*
Gimli: If 100th time make since
Legolas: IM telling this story shut your mouth!
Gimli: Make me
Legolas: *ties a gag in his mouth* So anyways back tooo Frodo Sam having a big! party.With Faramir.
Faramir: So what brings you out to this place of great place of danger little ones?
Frodo: as I said this is something I cannot tell.
Faramir: I think its something you could tell but you just won't cause you like to keep me guessing thats mean you know.
Frodo: No its not I can't if I tell you then I'd have to kill you and that wouldn't be very nice.
Faramir: You kill me HAHA *slaps his knee* I half a host at my call and you think you can kill me.*stops and thinks* Unless your like this mighty little person *starts to get afread* your not are you.
Frodo: No
Faramri: mwahahahaha then how do you exsapct to kill me? Have you ever killed anyone before? Like Oh I don't know like my brother?
Frodo: Never He tired to kill me he has no self control!
Faramir: You little rat don't talk about my brother like that I know you killed him you tell many falsehoods he is dead and you killed him thats why you ran away!
Sam: No we didn't sr we didn't run away cause he killed him we ran away cause Frodo was trying to keep his The One Ring Of Power Safe.
Frodo: *Punches Sam in the gut! knocking the wind out of him*
Sam: *eyes buldge out and makes a puffing sound*
Faramir: HAHAHA I knew it I could so kill you and take it for myself. But I don't want to so don't worry.* he says patting Sam on the head*
Frodo: Sam your a Great Lump Of Patapieoca Pudding!*tackles him to the ground and sits on him and starts pounding the living lights out of him!*
Faramir: *Laughs* wow I never knew you had so much rage!
Sam: Oh please stop sr I am sorry! Don't make me hurt you.
Frodo:* dosen't hear!*
Sam: *kicks Frodo over his head he lands on the wall getting knocked out* Opps well he needed to sleep anyways * picks Frodo over his shoulder* well good night Mr Faramri* walks to there chambers and lays Frodo down on the bed. *Gets in bed himself and falls asleep.*
Now we sit again waiting for the army Im beganing to think they are never coming cause we been sitting here now for the last 3 days.*yawns*
Gimli: *sits there with the gag still in his mouth*
Aragron: Legolas I am getting nerves!
Legolas: about what?
Aragron: Well the battle is comeing what if I die who will be king of Gondoe then?
Legolas: your not going to die!
Aragron: how do you know?
Legolas: Cause your Not
Aragron: Ok
Legolas: Trust me I am an Elf I know these things. Like see that guy over there * points to some Random human standing on the wall*
Aragron: Yes?
Legolas: His life isn't going to last past this stroy this page.
Aragron: HOW do you know that!
Random Guy: *gets a heart attack and falls over dead*
Aragron: How did you do that?
Legolas: Its an elf thing
Theoden: This is not good our men our dieing off before they even get here!
Aragron: Maybe thats there stratagie to keep us here tell we all die one by one.
Legolas: No way Yurks are't that smart * squints looking out tord the marching line* hold on I don't even think that is them it looks like a bunch of cardbored painted black moving up in down in the deinstance with lightbulbs." *Laughs* Thats pretty funny.Maybe they are more clever then we know.
Theoden: So what on Earth could this mean? * lighting flashes and rain poors down on them like really hard like a water fall*
Gimli: *blinks* Crap Im going to get rusted!
Legolas: *stands there looking good all wet*
Aragron: NO My collection of Mud on my Boots!
Theoden: Hello I asked a question
Aragron: Perhaps they are stalking for some reason.
Legolas: Or this could just be something to pass the time.
Gimil: Unless we are all on the wrong set this is the stuodios set and the Helms deep one is all the way back in Rohan?
Theoden: But these dircations lead us here." says looking down at the paper in his hand*
Legolas: Let me see * looks at it* I think this is Pippin's hand writing
Gandalf: *At the other Helms Deep* *sigh*
Pippin: What What did I do now?
Aragron: you gave Thedoen the wrong Dicractions you No words can describe how stupied you are!
Pippin: Hey how was I suppose to know he was going to believe me.
Legolas: That is very true.
Theoden: Hey don't turn this around on me.
Aragron: Yes but your the one who took the Dircations from Pippin.
Theoden: Well I thought he was Merry.
Merry: What how we don't anything alike!
Theoden: Im sorry Pippin.
Merry: You mean Merry
Theoden: Yes Yes Pip I mean Merry *smiles*
Legolas: OH why did Gandalf of leave me with these Mortals *sighs*
Gimli: I have just about had enough of you Blondie!
Legolas: OH really have some more then!
Aragron: Ok everyone lets ask for real dircations.
Gimli: from who?
Aragron: That nice Moth.
Gimli: *slaps his head* Ouch
Legolas: *Laughs*
Theoden: I know where it is everyone fallow me! (Peanut Gallory moans!) do it or I'll cut off your heads (fallows still not likeing it)
Sarouns One eyeball: *from tower sighs*
Pippin: Again how can an eye sigh?"
Witch King: lalallalalal" singing coughing a bit, screeeching some more flying around not watching where hes going he about smacks a few wraiths on their beasts wraith 1:KING STOP SINNGING!!" he passes him by "sorry jim hmmmmhmmmm lalalalala"
Saroun: Why did I take humans as servents again?*thinks* OH Yeah they make Good Salves! Witch King get your Bottom out there and look for the ring again take your black 8 wariths with you don't come back tell you find MY RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Eye Blazes all hot and fireie like*
Witch King:Talk about a temper
(Warith #2)Jim: I know
Witch King: *Flys off with Pinkie* Good Girl Pinky if we find the ring I'll give you some stake
Pinky: *liked the sound of that so she flew as fast as she could not really know what a ring was but she'd look as hard as she could to find it*
Warith # 2 Jim: *Fallows after the Witch King*
Witch King: Jim go with those 3
#2 Jim: Aw there really nuts
Witch King: What do you mean * Looks over at Wairths #3. Tom #4.Will #5 Phill.*
Tom: Ring
Will: Ding!
Phill: Aling *they fly around in curiles singing this*
Witch King: They are not now away Jim I have things to do! *Witch king zooms off leaveing Jim with Phill Tom and Will.* Drat I forgot my glasses again if I returen who knows what Saroun will do.
Pippin: He is an eye ball! Never really saw what was so scarey about a big eye ball on top of a tower anyways.
Witch King: Shut it if you got swepted up in his spell then you wouldn't be talking Hobbit! *screeshes!*
Pippin: I wouldn't be dumb enough to get hipnotized by the eye!
Gandalf: Actually Pippin your too dumb for the eye not to take effect on you. *smiles happly*
Pippin:*Sighs*
Legolas: Anyways!!!!!!*Witch King flew over high above again but once again he couldn't see anything* So he flew a little closer to the ground but as he could see he kept going closer and closer tell Pinky hit the ground*
Witch King: *SCHREECH!* OH Doubble Cheese Burgers with Mustered and Pickles! How did the ground get so close!
Wariths # 6,7,8&9 *snicker high above on there fell beasts.*
Witch King: Pinky you alright
Pinky: *nods slighty!*
Witch King: Golly Gum Drops now I want a cheese Buger Come on Pinky we must make a stop at the Local Mc donalds! Im starved!*gets back on Piny and flys off looking for Mc Donalds.*Witch King's cell phone rings* What in the good watermelon?" He thinks and flips open his phone* Yellow Witch King!
Saroun: While your going to Mc Donalds will you Pick me up 100 Big Macs and Fries with a 1000 gallon Cup of water please
Witch King: But Sr you can't eat
Saroun: JUST DO IT Kinging your my slave *eye Laughs!*
Witch King: Yes Master *says in a mocking tone and Ordered out all the Big Macs and fires and Pinky Carried the cup and They set it on a table before Saroun and the eye just stared at it*
Saroun: *stares! barling blaring* sigh it looks so yummy.
Pippin: AHHHHHHHH this is so so so weird! Im out of here!
Legolas: No your going back with Merry and you won't move tell this is over
Pippin:Fine then * goes back with Merry*
Merry: Did someone say Mc donalds
Jim Phill Tom Will: *on there flying beasts sing* Ba Ba Ba Im loveing it!
Pippin: *hack Hack cough cough spudder* I am about to *hack hack cough cough chock chock!* to die!* Holds throat eyes watering.*
Merry: *Slaps him on the back and one mushroom comes spitting out of his mouth and hits Grima who comes ridding on his horses into the gates* Ewww * it stuck there like paste
Pippin: Oh thank you *he says laying down.
Grima: EWWW * he says trying to take if off his eye.
Saruman: OH thats just sick! * he says seeing this from his tower window.*
Saroun: Oh I think Im going to lose my cookies!
Frodo: *lost his already!*
Sam: *same here!*
Legolas: Thats just not right!
Gandalf: Fool of a Took Though I must say thats pretty funny!* chuckles!*
Treebreed: * come lumbering by and picks Grima up and tosses him in the water laughing and watching him sputter around*
Merry: NO thats more funny!
Treebread: Get over there to your rattie Master you worm! * shakes his woodie fist at him!*
Grima:* Can't see now out of his right eye even if the mushroom is gone he swam as fast as he could to the other side*
Saroun: *pulls him in* Oh Im so glad Im not alone in here anymore! *he says slambing the doors and 100th time locking it with all the dead bults!*
Gimli: If 100th time make since
Legolas: IM telling this story shut your mouth!
Gimli: Make me
Legolas: *ties a gag in his mouth* So anyways back tooo Frodo Sam having a big! party.With Faramir.
Faramir: So what brings you out to this place of great place of danger little ones?
Frodo: as I said this is something I cannot tell.
Faramir: I think its something you could tell but you just won't cause you like to keep me guessing thats mean you know.
Frodo: No its not I can't if I tell you then I'd have to kill you and that wouldn't be very nice.
Faramir: You kill me HAHA *slaps his knee* I half a host at my call and you think you can kill me.*stops and thinks* Unless your like this mighty little person *starts to get afread* your not are you.
Frodo: No
Faramri: mwahahahaha then how do you exsapct to kill me? Have you ever killed anyone before? Like Oh I don't know like my brother?
Frodo: Never He tired to kill me he has no self control!
Faramir: You little rat don't talk about my brother like that I know you killed him you tell many falsehoods he is dead and you killed him thats why you ran away!
Sam: No we didn't sr we didn't run away cause he killed him we ran away cause Frodo was trying to keep his The One Ring Of Power Safe.
Frodo: *Punches Sam in the gut! knocking the wind out of him*
Sam: *eyes buldge out and makes a puffing sound*
Faramir: HAHAHA I knew it I could so kill you and take it for myself. But I don't want to so don't worry.* he says patting Sam on the head*
Frodo: Sam your a Great Lump Of Patapieoca Pudding!*tackles him to the ground and sits on him and starts pounding the living lights out of him!*
Faramir: *Laughs* wow I never knew you had so much rage!
Sam: Oh please stop sr I am sorry! Don't make me hurt you.
Frodo:* dosen't hear!*
Sam: *kicks Frodo over his head he lands on the wall getting knocked out* Opps well he needed to sleep anyways * picks Frodo over his shoulder* well good night Mr Faramri* walks to there chambers and lays Frodo down on the bed. *Gets in bed himself and falls asleep.*
Now we sit again waiting for the army Im beganing to think they are never coming cause we been sitting here now for the last 3 days.*yawns*
Gimli: *sits there with the gag still in his mouth*
Aragron: Legolas I am getting nerves!
Legolas: about what?
Aragron: Well the battle is comeing what if I die who will be king of Gondoe then?
Legolas: your not going to die!
Aragron: how do you know?
Legolas: Cause your Not
Aragron: Ok
Legolas: Trust me I am an Elf I know these things. Like see that guy over there * points to some Random human standing on the wall*
Aragron: Yes?
Legolas: His life isn't going to last past this stroy this page.
Aragron: HOW do you know that!
Random Guy: *gets a heart attack and falls over dead*
Aragron: How did you do that?
Legolas: Its an elf thing
Theoden: This is not good our men our dieing off before they even get here!
Aragron: Maybe thats there stratagie to keep us here tell we all die one by one.
Legolas: No way Yurks are't that smart * squints looking out tord the marching line* hold on I don't even think that is them it looks like a bunch of cardbored painted black moving up in down in the deinstance with lightbulbs." *Laughs* Thats pretty funny.Maybe they are more clever then we know.
Theoden: So what on Earth could this mean? * lighting flashes and rain poors down on them like really hard like a water fall*
Gimli: *blinks* Crap Im going to get rusted!
Legolas: *stands there looking good all wet*
Aragron: NO My collection of Mud on my Boots!
Theoden: Hello I asked a question
Aragron: Perhaps they are stalking for some reason.
Legolas: Or this could just be something to pass the time.
Gimil: Unless we are all on the wrong set this is the stuodios set and the Helms deep one is all the way back in Rohan?
Theoden: But these dircations lead us here." says looking down at the paper in his hand*
Legolas: Let me see * looks at it* I think this is Pippin's hand writing
Gandalf: *At the other Helms Deep* *sigh*
Pippin: What What did I do now?
Aragron: you gave Thedoen the wrong Dicractions you No words can describe how stupied you are!
Pippin: Hey how was I suppose to know he was going to believe me.
Legolas: That is very true.
Theoden: Hey don't turn this around on me.
Aragron: Yes but your the one who took the Dircations from Pippin.
Theoden: Well I thought he was Merry.
Merry: What how we don't anything alike!
Theoden: Im sorry Pippin.
Merry: You mean Merry
Theoden: Yes Yes Pip I mean Merry *smiles*
Legolas: OH why did Gandalf of leave me with these Mortals *sighs*
Gimli: I have just about had enough of you Blondie!
Legolas: OH really have some more then!
Aragron: Ok everyone lets ask for real dircations.
Gimli: from who?
Aragron: That nice Moth.
Gimli: *slaps his head* Ouch
Legolas: *Laughs*
Theoden: I know where it is everyone fallow me! (Peanut Gallory moans!) do it or I'll cut off your heads (fallows still not likeing it)