Spring In Rivendell

“Nana?”

Galadriel turned at the sound of the much missed voice. “Celebrian? Where are you?”

“Nana? What have you done, Nana?”

That Lady of the Golden Wood turned frantically in the place she now found herself. There was a black floor of some indeterminate substance underfoot that stretched into dark eternity. There was darkness all around except for what seemed a single beam of light that illuminated the immediate area. She turned frantically in circles searching for the voice that had so long been denied her. “Celebrian! Celebrian where are you?!”

“I’m right here, Nana.” Galadriel turned one more time to see her daughter settled on the floor, a familiar form cradled in her lap. Celebrian pulled a very haggard and still bloodied Erestor into her arms. That was when Galadriel noticed that she, too was still bleeding. Celebrian looked up into her mother’s eyes. “What did you do, Nana?”

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Glorfindel could do nothing but scream as Erestor lay still and quiet upon the bed. He couldn’t bring himself to calm down, to analyze the situation and take action. All he could do was shake the dying elf and scream.

The warrior was pulled away from the prone form on the bed by forceful hands. He struggled, fighting to stay by his love’s side. The sight of Elrond kneeling by Erestor on the bed calmed him somewhat, and he let the hands pull him to the other side of the room. He could do nothing but whimper as he watched his husband pull the second baby from Erestor’s womb.

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“Celebrian,” sobbed Galadriel happily. Her daughter! She finally had her daughter again! She went to embrace her child once again, but the anger in the once sweet, bell-like voice stopped her.

“You have no right to touch me.” Celebrian’s eyes were hardened in anger and sadness.

“Baby…daughter…I’m here,” she whispered.

“You are here, but at what cost?” came the scathing reply. “I gave my beloved husband a chance at happiness. I begged and pleaded with the Valar for him to finally have some happiness after so many years of turmoil and pain. Look at what you have done! You have ruined it all. My final gift to my husband has been destroyed by your misplaced anger.” She comforted Erestor as he whimpered in pain, stroking his hair and settling him more comfortably in her arms. “It won’t be long now.”

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Glorfindel sat on the floor braced against the wall and watched in numb disbelief as healers swarmed the bed. The babies were so quiet. So very quiet and still as they were taken into the bathing room to be cleaned off. Glorfindel didn’t have the heart to see them. All he could do was watch as Elrond hurriedly tried to close the gaping wound in Erestor’s abdomen.

He watched as Erestor stopped breathing.

He watched as Elrond breathed for him.

He watched as another sewed his husband together.

He watched as another became Erestor’s heart beat when his own failed.

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Erestor’s eyes opened and he gazed up at the silver-haired ellith that held him. “Celebrian?” he murmured in confusion.

“Yes. I’m here to help you.”

“My babies?”

Celebrian dipped her head to hide her eyes. “Their future is shadowed, but I fear the worst. They were born too early.”

Erestor nodded in comprehension and slowly sat up. He was no longer in any pain, which was a small relief. His eyes however, focused upon the other person standing near them.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!”

The dark-haired elf was up and attacking before Galadriel had a chance to register he was awake. He attacked with all the fury of an animal protecting its babies…or an animal denied its children.

Neither noticed when a dark-clad figure joined them.

Erestor fought until Galadriel lay underneath him on the floor. Tears ran down his face as he held her throat in his hands. His head drooped as he sobbed quietly one more time. He backed off the silver-haired Lady with his breath still shuddering. “You’re not worth it. You are not worth my time or my anger. You are nothing.”

He walked back and slowly dropped back into Celebrian’s arms. “My babies. My babies,” was his heart-broken whisper as he was rocked back and forth consolingly by the former Lady of Imladris. Galadriel sat up and stared in shock at her bodied hands. The enormity of what she had done hit her in one blindingly terrible moment.

“Erestor,” came a smooth as glass and rich as honey voice from seemingly everywhere at once. Erestor raised his head and was confronted by who he could only assume was the Vala of Death. Not knowing what to do, he simply stayed where he was and leaned his matted head against Celebrian’s shoulder.

“Will my babies die?” he asked quietly.

For some reason, Erestor thought he saw the dark eyes of the Vala soften slightly. “There is a choice to be made here.” The majestic figure gestured and two more bodies stepped forward. Erestor recognized them as elves, and looking at them closely made him gasp. They were absolutely identical, and they looked like Elrond, if a little slimmer. They regarded him with warm, laughing eyes that were filled with mischief and love. These were what his sons would one day be if they lived.

Namo came to Erestor’s side and helped him to stand. As he was helping Celebrian to her feet he said, “You have a choice this day, dark one. Elrond and Glorfindel will be needed in Middle Earth for many years to come. They have too much of the future riding upon them to fade from grief now. The loss of both you and your sons would sure kill them. Therefore, I must return either you or your sons. Choose now. Who will return to life and who will remain here in death?”

“There is no decision. I will die and they will live. There is no other choice I could make.”

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Glorfindel sobbed anew as he heard the wail of the two newborns pierce the air. His children would live. He knew that in his heart. Just as he knew Erestor had passed to the Halls of Waiting.

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Erestor watched the forms of his sons fade from view, and he was comforted that they would live in love with his husbands. There was nothing more he could ask for in a time so terrible as this.

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Elrond slumped disconsolately against the side of the bed. His hands were wrapped around one of Erestor’s. Glorfindel, who could not find the strength to walk, crawled to where his husband kneeled and wrapped his arms around him. “I failed him,” cried Elrond, his voice breaking with tears. “I failed him like I failed Celebrian. Why didn’t I see this coming. What use is foresight if I cannot save my loved ones when they need me!?”

“You did see this, but none of us knew what it was at the time.”

Elrond looked over his shoulder at the red-rimmed eyes that usually sparkled with happiness. “The night you brought me here. After we fought at the bon-fire. You saw me standing over you with a bloodied knife in my hand. You thought you saw your own death, but what you saw was the death of that imposter.”

Elrond eyes overflowed with tears. “So I did know what would happen, and I did nothing. I did nothing to save my husband.” The last was drowned in sobs as he buried his head in the blood stained blankets. Glorfindel could think of nothing to say, so he held Elrond tighter and cried with him. The healers in the room looked on in silence as they watched their Lords grieve for the loss of their husband.

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Namo held Erestor’s head in his hands and tilted the elf’s face upward to gaze into tear and pain filled chocolate eyes. He used one thumb to brush away a trail of tears that ran down a pale cheek. “You truly are one of the most beautiful elves to ever live. Even I am in awe of your loveliness.” Namo drew the much smaller being to his breast and embraced him. He turned to Galadriel, who still sat on the floor staring at her bloodied hands. “Galadriel.” She looked up at the Vala, shame etched into her face. “You too still have a purpose upon middle earth. You will be returned.”

“I-I can’t. I can’t go back. Not after what I have done. I am a kinslayer. I would sure fade from shame and grief if I went back to Arda.”

Namo rubbed Erestor’s back reassuringly while he processed this information. “I see the truth in your words. I would send you back time and again only for you to fade from your guilt.” He pondered slowly and shook his head. “What would it take for your conscience to be cleansed so you may once again dwell in Lothlorien?”

“Return him to where he belongs,” she pleaded as she pointed to Erestor.

“He belongs here.”

“He belongs with the family I took him from. It’s the only way I will feel even in a small way cleared for my sins. He needs to go home.”

Namo once again picked up Erestor’s face to examine him. He sighed quietly. “Such beauty should be enjoyed in life, not in death. No matter how much I long for your allure to grace my halls.” He hugged the dark elf close one more time. “I will long for you my dark one, but I will do this thing for the Greater Good.” Namo caressed Erestor’s face lightly and ran his hand through his hair. He leaned forward and pressed a deep kiss to the dark elf’s mouth. When Namo released him, Erestor looked up into the face of death above him in confusion and not a little fear. “I will look forward to holding you in my arms another time. Enjoy your family,” Namo whispered as Erestor faded from view. Namo turned again to face Galadriel. “Remember what I gave up so that you could live. If you ever forget this I will make sure you spend your eternity in the worst Hell I can conjure.”

With that Galadriel felt herself slip into unconsciousness, but not before she saw the Vala of Death embrace her daughter and whisper his love into her ear.

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Elrond thought that his grieving mind had finally snapped when he felt the hand he held squeeze slightly. He squeezed back anyway, just to comfort himself if nothing else. He felt the hand squeeze back. He raised his head from where it was buried in the bed sheets, and his grey eyes widened in incomprehension.

“Melin chen, meleth nin,” whispered Erestor.

“Oh, Valar be praised!” Elrond whispered harshly as he surged upward to gently cradle Erestor in his arms.

Glorfindel looked up from were he sat on the floor, disbelief filling his eyes. He slowly crept up the side of the bed to sit beside his beloveds. He reached out a trembling hand to caress Erestor’s face. With a sob he embraced both of his husbands in his strong arms.

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Many days later, Erestor sat on the balcony of their rooms absorbing the sun. His sons lay next to him in a large bassinette sleeping away the afternoon while Elrond slowly rocked the cradle. He gazed through tired but happy eyes at his home that was bathed in the golden light of the sun. He mused that the sun shone so much brighter now that he had survived the Hall of Waiting.

“Glorfindel?” he queried quietly so as not to disturb the babies.

“Hmm?” came the half-awake answer from the elf that cradled him.

“I met Namo.” Erestor had yet to talk to anyone about his brush with death, and now seemed like a good time. The bright and lively sunlight seemed to chase away the darkness that still lingered from his short stay in the realm of the dead.

Glorfindel chuckled. “You are confused.”

“Yes. He-he kissed me. Like we were lovers, and I…I didn’t feel anything wrong with it. Shouldn’t there be something wrong with having the Vala of Death lust after you?”

Glorfindel chuckled again. “Namo loves all of his charges, be they young, old, beautiful, ugly, rich or poor. I’m not surprised he fell in love with you.”

“My mind cannot wrap around this.”

“Namo shows all of those in his Halls all the love they could possibly want. He loves them as father, brother, son, and lover. It is how the fea heal.”

Erestor turned his head to gaze into Glorfindel’s sincere eyes. “Did you love him?”

“Yes. He was my lover for a time, until I healed enough to be on my own. Every soul is a precious thing of indefinable and immeasurable value to him. Each and every one must be loved unconditionally. It is what keeps the souls from shattering when they die. He would have loved you as we do.”

Erestor turned that over in his mind for awhile. “No matter how much he loved me, I could never, ever forget you and Elrond. Never. No amount of consoling would have healed my spirit. I love you two so much.”

“And I you,” said Elrond and Glorfindel at the same time. Glorfindel pulled Erestor closer as Elrond came to sit beside them. They curled into each other’s arms and they watched as the spring sun once again danced over Imladris. It was springtime in Rivendell.