Take My Hand

Take My Hand part 13
Author: Noelwing
e-mail: Noelwing@aol.com
Pairing: Legolas/Haldir
Genre: AU
Rating: R
Warnings: none for this chapter.
Disclaimer: Everything in the realm of middle-earth belong to Tolkien and are only being borrowed for this fic-any other characters are property of the author. /Words/ denotes thoughts.
Author’s notes: I apologize for the long delay in posting this chapter. But this being the last chapter proved to be most difficult to write. Even now, I am not entirely satisfied but you know what they say, works are never finished, they are just abandoned. But please enjoy this last chapter and feel free to send me any questions, comments or feed back.


Live for now.


Queen Legolain and Galadriel made their way back to the royal chambers as fast as they could. Word had reached them that Legolas had returned to the royal quarters but he was not alone. When Galadriel heard that Haldir was indeed with the prince a sense of dread had befallen her. Queen Legolain, apparently, had the same feeling for if they knew Legolas had returned home than it was a sure bet that Thranduil knew as well. Galadriel could only imagine what kind of reaction finding his son alone with Haldir would evoke within the still, emotionally, upset king.

*********

“Get away from my son!” Commanded Thranduil’s roaring voice.

Haldir immediately recoiled from Legolas. Thranduil, paying no heed to Legolas’ pleas to leave Haldir alone, advanced upon the shocked elf. His hands shot out and took a hold of Haldir’s collar. Haldir couldn’t believe the strength the elven king exuded as he literally lifted him to his feet. His back collided with the wall behind him and was trapped between that wall and the angry king.

Through his winced eyes, Haldir could see Thranduil, his face red with furry. Legolas was just behind his father but the prince’s words were inaudible. Legolas’ pleading blended with his father’s yelling into one massive din.

Haldir couldn’t move and the feelings of entrapment triggered memories. He was back in that fight ring surrounded by noise and being assaulted by the blows of an opponent. Every fiber in his being wanted to be gone from that place and his instincts went into survival mode. An enemy was attacking him and the only way to survive was to fight back.

Legolain and Galadriel burst into the room but stopped dead in their tracks. Legolain was unable to draw breath as her husband was suddenly tackled to the ground. Thranduil lay motionless as the elf over him raised his hand to deliver a blow. Legolas was too shocked to move, he could only watch as Haldir prepared to strike his father.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Galadriel’s cry brought everyone in the room back to their senses. Haldir, realizing what he had done, nearly threw himself across the room in the attempt to get away from Thranduil. The confused elf buried his face in his hands and huddled against the wall.

Legolas went to his father. “Ada, ada are you alright?” He asked trying to help Thranduil to his feet. His body was unharmed but the same could not be said of Thranduil’s ego. The woodland king was absolutely fuming; how dare some one assault him in his own palace. Legolain was quick to join her son in assisting her husband to his feet. In that moment she didn’t know who to pity more, her humiliated husband or the terrified march-warden.

Galadriel made no word as she dashed across the room to Haldir’s side. He was obviously shaken and she knew that she had to get him out of their. He listlessly obeyed her commands to stand up and followed her lead out of the room. The two Lorien elves made a hasty exit leaving Legolas alone with his parents.

Neither Legolas nor Haldir were able to get a look at each other before they were separated once more.

********

Legolas stood quietly as his mother helped his father into a chair. The whole room was filled with awkward silence and Legolas found himself fumbling with the sleeves of his robe. He waited for the line of questions that was ultimately inevitable.

Legolain could feel the tension in her husband’s frame. Obviously he was shaken by what had just happened. The question she had was what had happened, exactly. But all the same, it was most likely for the best that Galadriel had taken Haldir and left. It was obvious that both Haldir and her husband could not be in the same room together right now.

Thranduil heaved a heavy sigh and looked to his son. The king sat in a large wooden chair with his shoulders slumped and head hanging. “Legolas, just where have you been?”

An audible grunt preceded his answer. “I was at the lotus grove. “

“And what were you doing there?”

Legolas’ brow furrowed. “I was taking a bath. Surely, I have the freedom to move about within my homeland.”

Thranduil was about to speak again but yelped aloud when his wife squeezed his shoulder and rather painfully.

“Legolas, try to understand, we were worried about you.” His mother pleaded. “The least you could have done was let one of us or your brothers know where you were.”

Legolas sobered, but only a bit. Being as logical as she always was, Legolas never had the heart to argue with his mother.

“I understand nana but I wanted to be alone.”

“Alone, by yourself? Or alone with Haldir?”

The question caught both Legolas and his mother completely off guard. Legolas was especially put out. His fingers clutched the sleeves his robe so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “Ada, what are you saying?”

“Legolas you know what I mean, by the Valar, I saw him kiss you!”

“He did not kiss me.” His words were angry but weighed with sadness. He did not recall his lips connecting with Haldir’s and his heart lamented all the more for the moment that he father had taken away from them.

“Legolas I know what I saw, that elf probably sought you out so he could-”

“Haldir appeared to me by chance.” Legolas raised his head and stared his father right in the eyes. He paid no heed to the look of indignation at being cut off expressed by his father

“But what does that matter; what business is it of yours if Haldir and I see each other.”

Thranduil nearly jumped up from his chair but his wife stayed him. Legolain gripped her husband’s shoulder so hard that he yelped. But he had gotten her message and sat back down.

“Legolas please listen, we know you have been through a terrible ordeal, you and Haldir both. It is only natural that you would feel a strong bond with him but what your father and I are afraid of is that you might be seeing something that is not really there.”

“No mother, there is something there. Haldir and I both lost something; a part of our innocence. “ Again, Legolas felt the dark memories threaten him and he longed for Haldir’s presence. “He’s the only one I can really turn to for understanding and comfort.”

“But Legolas, we are your family!” Thranduil exclaimed. “You have us to come to, you shouldn’t need that elf!”

“How can I come to you when I know your opinion of me has changed? You said so yourself that I am defiled.”

Thranduil nearly doubled over as his insides constricted with the pain of his son’s words. “Legolas, I only spoke those words out of anger, you know I could never mean such a thing.”

“But you said them none the less. You cannot take back your words. And you are wrong about Haldir as well and you should not blame him for anything. “

Thranduil exploded, “He failed in his duty to protect you…” Thranduil’s anger was suddenly overpowered by his sadness and in a heartbeat, he leapt up from his chair enveloped his son in a strong embrace.

“All that time you were missing I worried so, I could only pray that you were safe. When I finally found you again I was heart broken but when I learned what your captors had done to you I thought I would die.

“I was so angry Legolas, both at Haldir and myself. I was angry with myself for not being there for you and angry at Haldir for not protecting you.” Thranduil rested his head on his son’s shoulder and sobbed quietly. Legolain had joined her son and husband in there embrace, all of them were in tears.

“But ada, I wasn’t alone, Haldir was with me, even when we were separated he was still with me and I with him. We thought about each other all the time.” Legolas pulled out of his parents embrace and wiped the tears from his face.

Thranduil inhaled deeply as his son looked him in the eye. Never before has the king seen such resolve within the eyes of his youngest child. Legolain saw it as well and she knew in her heart that what her son was about to say would change everything.

“I love Haldir, I have loved him for a very long time, possibly from the moment I first met him.” Legolas was not surprised by his mother’s gasp or to the way his father went weak in the knees.

“I have no idea if he feels the same about me. But what I do know is that no matter what, the two of us are forever changed. What we experienced cannot be erased…”

“But Legolas,” Thranduil heaved, “Would it not be better if you could just try to forget…”

“Better for me ada, or better for you?” I know you want me to recover but I cannot forget about what has happened just because you want me to. And you do me further harm by refusing to acknowledge Haldir’s half of the experience.”

By this time, Legolain was in tears. Everyone was so sad, there was so much pain and she had had enough of it. “Tell us then,” She sobbed, “What can we do to make it right, how can we begin to heal, all of us?”

Legolas went to his mother and embraced her. She held her son close to her and waited for him to guide the way. “Will you listen,” He said softly. “Will you listen as Haldir and I tell you of all that has happened to us. I do not know if it will do any good but by knowing what happened, you might be able to understand Haldir and myself a little better.”

Legolain nodded her head against her son’s shoulder; of course she would listen, anything that would help her to help her son she would do. Thranduil came into the embrace as well and was relieved to be accepted by his son. With a simple look, Thranduil relayed his agreement to his son.

Many emotions welled within the king but for now, Thranduil suppressed them. Any feelings that he had, he would have to deal with later. Right now, healing his son was the most important thing and the king would do whatever he had to help. Even if it meant having to surrender his place at Legolas’ side to Haldir.

*******

Haldir kept his head down as he followed Galadriel wherever it was that she led him to. In his mind he reprimanded himself over and over again. How could he have been so stupid as to have attacked the woodland king? Just when Haldir thought things could not get any worse, Celeborn appeared.

Galadriel could literally feel the mood of her charge darken at the appearance of her husband. Never the less, she called to Celeborn and together, they guided Haldir through the halls. By the time they finally got him to his room, his whole upper torso was hunkered down with depression. Galadriel sighed internally; this was going to take a lot of work.

“Come, sit here.” She guided Haldir to the bed and helped him to sit down. Celeborn helped as well and was equally concerned. /By the Valar/ he thought /what did I miss/.

“Haldir, can you here me, are you alright?” She stroked his hair softly. It was something she had done to him when he was a child. It always seemed to calm him.

“Galadriel, what has happened?” Celeborn asked being unable to withstand his curiosity any longer.

Haldir’s head craned forward and rested upon Galadriel’s shoulder. For the moment, he just wanted to forget what he had done and just find comfort in the care that Galadriel offered him. But he couldn’t hold back his feelings for long.

“Galadriel, Celeborn, forgive me, please forgive me…” His voice buckled under the sudden onslaught of sobs.

Galadriel reaffirmed her embrace. “Forgive you, forgive you for what?” She said sympathetically. Celeborn squeezed Haldir’s shoulder, adding silent support.

“For attacking Thranduil. I have shamed both of you greatly.”

“Attacking Thranduil?” Celeborn cried out in obvious shock. “But how…why…”

Acting just as un-characteristically, Galadriel elbowed her husband in the stomach. “I assure you, it is not how it sounds. Thranduil became enraged when he found Haldir together with Legolas. Haldir had no choice but to defend himself.”

“I didn’t want to do it…I…I just reacted…I didn’t mean to…”

“Haldir, you could never shame me.” Galadriel spoke firmly. “Nothing you have ever done or could ever do would make me think any less of you.”

Her words were reassuring and Haldir tried to compose himself but it was difficult. Memories from the fight rings still haunted his mind and his body reacted to the intense recognition of fear mixed with adrenaline.

“Haldir please, tell me what it is that you are feeling, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Thranduil had no right to attack you the way he did.”

“But Galadriel I…” He trailed off as shame overtook him once more.

“Haldir if there is anything you have to say in your defense then please say it. Your silence will not help any.” Celeborn urged.

Celeborn’s gentle but honest manner was comforting to Haldir and it gave him the confidence to continue. “When I was held captive I was forced to fight. My captors made a game of it. They fought for amusement whilst I fought for my life. When Thranduil attacked…I felt like I was back there…”

Galadriel’s heart went out to Haldir for it was obvious that he had been through a traumatic experience all his own.

“I see, you had a flashback and reacted. I can understand that.”

Haldir, deftly, nodded his head. Haldir had become very numb suddenly but at least he his body had calmed down for the time being. Galadriel sat down on the bed with him and put an arm around him.

“Haldir,“ She sighed, preparing herself to express what her position as a queen demanded of her. “You know as a queen, I cannot condone your behavior towards King Thranduil. I have no idea what kinds of repercussions this incident will evoke on his part.”

Haldir’s head hung. Galadriel was not at all surprised by this reaction. Haldir was a smart elf and knew just as well that he would not get away with assaulting a royal. The Valar knew that she and her kin were already in enough trouble with the woodland king. But still, Galadriel couldn’t help herself.

“But, as a person who is rather tired of Thranduil’s attitude, I say good job.”

A laugh, a small laugh but one un-pained and pure, came from Haldir. Haldir had never before heard Galadriel say such a thing. Even Celeborn laughed.

“Haldir, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

Galadriel pulled something fourth from her robes. She could clearly see the look of astonishment on Haldir’s face and it heightened her curiosity. “When we found you, this was in your hand. You were clinging to it so tightly. What is it about this cloth that makes it so dear to you?”

Haldir still couldn’t believe he was looking at that same piece of cloth; he had thought it was lost forever. “Legolas gave that to me to bandage a wound I received just before we were captured. It was a piece of his tunic. I held onto it and continued to do so in my captivity.”

Celeborn and Galadriel regarded each other warmly, how their prized march-warden had changed. “Perhaps you should keep it then.” Celeborn said and Galadriel handed the cloth to Haldir.

Haldir accepted the cloth with a sigh. He looked at the cloth, the edges were frayed and the once vibrant, silver color was now dulled by dust and blood. “What are we to do now?” He asked like that of a confused child, looking to his parents for guidance.

“Submit to Thranduil’s wishes,” Celeborn said with notable dissatisfaction. “What else can we do?”

“I see. When do we leave?”

“Three days from now,” Answered Galadriel. “By then our people will be rested and our necessities for the return trip to Lothlorien will be ready.”

Haldir nodded his head but the sigh he emitted did not escape Galadriel or her husband. The sound was more surrender than agreement. Clearly Haldir would acquiesce to return to Lothlorien but they knew him too well. Both Galadriel and Celeborn knew that Haldir did not agree with that decision at all but they had already established that there was nothing to be done. The king had made his opinion quite clear and it was best not to upset him further.

*******

Night had descended on Mirkwood and Haldir had retired to bed. He had spent the rest of that day with his brothers, Galadriel and Celeborn. Rumil and Orophin insisted on staying close but Haldir, in the end, asked his brothers to leave him alone and they consented.

A solitary candle glowed upon the nightstand next to his bed, its light casting shadows everywhere. But the subtle dance of light and shadow did little to relax Haldir. His mind grappled with whether he should return to Lorien or find a way to remain in Mirkwood.

His logic told him that leaving was probably the best for everyone. Thranduil was already greatly upset and to push him further could cause potential damage to political relations between the two realms. But also, perhaps what was needed was time and maybe even distance. Yet Haldir found great unrest with that logic. After all, he and Legolas had been through so much: was it right to just go home.

Haldir left his bed, sleep would be impossible and he no longer wished to try. Desiring to leave his chambers, Haldir dressed and ventured out. The routes of the Mirkwood palace still eluded him thus he did not stray too far from his chambers. He finally found his way to a balcony that opened up and was bathed in the light of the moon.

Mirkwood was even more mysterious at night. He could here the flapping of many bats yet he could not see them. But judging by the noise his elf ears detected, there must have been swarms of them. Also, he could here the howling of wolves and the sounds of creatures he could not identify. All of it gave a sense of danger mixed with wonder.

“Do our woods fascinate you?”

Haldir turned to see that it was none other than Legolain, Mirkwood’s queen, who addressed him. For a moment, Haldir stood stiff, then his sense of formality kicked in and he bowed to the queen. Yet, he could not find the words to address her; this was the mother of Legolas after all. Did she have reprimanding of her own that she wished to deal him?

“Come now, it is too late at night to be so worried about customs and protocol.” The queen spoke in an almost light hearted manner. Haldir raised his head but he could not look her in the eye.

“I hope I have not disturbed you.”

“No my lady, I…I could not sleep.” Still, Haldir averted his gaze.

“Haldir, I have not come to harass you in any way so you need not be nervous. I have come to speak with you. It is about Legolas.”

At the mention of her son’s name, the queen instantly had Haldir’s undivided attention. Haldir was finally able to look at her. She had a likeness that was all her own for her hair was dark and her eyes were green like maple leaves in spring. All were physical traits that were not passed on to her three sons for all of them resembled the father. But yet, her face, it was gentle and greatly beautiful; just like Legolas’. Indeed, he had his mother’s face and from what Haldir already knew, he had her heart as well.

“Please allow me to explain about this afternoon I…I had no ill intentions for your son …I…”

“My son says that he is in love with you. I think for now I will leave it at that but that is not why I sought you out. I came to find you because your help is needed.”

“My help?” Haldir asked quizzically.

“In a way, you see, we, I mean my husband and I, only know so much about what happened to Legolas. He wants to be able to tell us but he wants you to be with him when he does. He wants us to here of your experiences as well because he believes that we will help us to better understand everything.”

Haldir took a moment to think. He wondered if divulging everything to the Mirkwood royal family would help anything. But then again, Legolas was asking for him. Haldir realized that if he was ever to be able to tell his side of the story, he would need Legolas’ support just as much as Legolas needed his.

“I agree but I want my brothers, Galadriel and Celeborn to be there as well.”

“I understand. Inform you family that we meet tomorrow morning. I will have a servant escort all of you to the reception room of the royal family quarters. I also promise that my husband will be on his best behavior.”

Haldir blushed and turned his face away. Tackling Thranduil was something that even an eternal life was not long enough for him to get over. Therefore, having to be in the same room with the volatile king was the last thing that Haldir was looking forward to. But this could very well be his last chance to see Legolas again, best take it and put any worries aside.

“Very well my lady, we shall see you and yours on the morn then.”

Legolain nodded and extended her arms. Her hands came to rest lightly and Haldir’s face and she gently tipped his head down. “Thank you for bringing my son back home to me.” She said warmly and placed a kiss upon his brow. With that, she turned and went on her way.

Haldir wondered what tomorrow might bring but the queen’s words had given him comfort. Upon retuning to his chambers he sent a wish to the Valar that whatever tomorrow would bring, please let some of it, any of it, bring understanding and healing to all involved.

********

The next morning came with a feeling of great optimism. Haldir and all concerned followed a servant to the royal quarters just as the queen had instructed. They waited as the servant went inside to inform the royal family that they had arrived. When the servant appeared again he told Haldir that it was alright to enter.

Once inside Haldir was met by many eyes, most noticeable of were Thranduil’s. The elven king sat behind an ornate, oak desk with Legolain at his side. Her gaze was one of patience and understanding and Haldir was glad of her presence. Thalion and Elgalad were there as well. The two of them were leaning, side by side, against the wall opposite the doors through which Haldir and company and just entered. Haldir was uncertain of what to make of the way they looked at him. But Haldir could definitely feel the air of mistrust that they directed at him. But then his eyes found a most welcome sight; Legolas.

“Haldir,” Legolas exclaimed before getting up from the sofa he occupied and strode over to Haldir. The prince’s arms opened and wrapped Haldir in a strong embrace. Haldir was so overwhelmed by Legolas’ essence that he was oblivious to the reactions of the prince’s family. Both Elgalad and Thalion gasped out loud and Thranduil clenched his fists so hard his knuckles popped.

But Galadriel, her husband as well as Rumil and Orophin all had the same thought when they saw Haldir drop his inhibitions and embrace Legolas right back; ‘its about time’ they all thought.

“Mae govanen Legolas” Haldir whispered into his ear, “Did you sleep well?”

Legolas giggled. “Is that all you have to say to me?” He said coyly.

Haldir smiled but then made the mistake of looking up for he made direct eye contact with Thranduil. Obviously the warm feelings were not shared by all. But Haldir threw his inhibitions into the wind. Thranduil was not the person with whom he should concern himself with at this time.

The two elves moved out of their embrace. Legolas took Haldir’s hand within his own and guided him to the sofa he occupied only moments before. The two of them sat side by side as casually as if they were settling down for tea. But the setting was anything but casual. Indeed, there was a sense of apprehension in the air; apprehension and nervousness.

The room was filled with silence; with anticipation. Who would be the first to speak? Who would tell his story first and what would the listeners in the room learn? But many long moments went by and still, neither Legolas nor Haldir said a word.

Legolas could feel it; everyone was waiting for him to speak. Legolas didn’t know where his voice or words had gone. He opened his mouth once, than twice but nothing came out. The inability to say anything began to feel like a weight growing heavier and heavier upon his chest. Every gaze was focused upon him, waiting for him to relive his ordeal. Legolas would have surrendered to his fear and ran to his room but all was no lost for him. There was still one thing he could rely upon and that was Haldir’s hand gripping his own, tightly.

Gathering his courage and taking a deep breath he began. He started with the day that he and Haldir had been captured. It was not long before Legolas and Haldir began to take turns speaking and detail after detail poured from there mouths. All present listened to their tale with great attention. They learned of the cruel Nanook and his cunning yet ambiguous brother Brodda.

When Legolas and Haldir began to speak of their most horrific experiences, every one in the room nearly ceased to breathe. Many tears were shed for Legolas as he recounted the events that led to his violation. The feeling of disgust was shared by all when the true motive of Nanook’s actions against Legolas was reveled. And disgust quickly turned to pity for the consequences that fell upon Haldir as a result of that motive.

At one point both Legolas and Haldir were in tears and all in the room were seized by the want to rush to their stricken loved ones. But no one moved. All the comfort Legolas and Haldir needed they found in each other. Not once did their hands ever separate and the bond that had grown between the two of them was clear for every one to see.

When Legolas and Haldir finally reached the end of their tale the room fell silent for several minutes. Each person took his or her time to take in all that they had just heard. Legolain noticed that her husband was not only silent but seemed very solemn. The look in his eyes absolutely baffled her and she could only wonder what Thranduil was thinking.

Galadriel already knew of Nanook’s death at Haldir’s hands. But hearing it compiled with everything else Haldir had suffered caused her to re-experience the shock all over again. Yet in all that Legolas and Haldir had suffered there was hope. If it had not been for the actions of Turin, Gimli and Namel then Legolas and Haldir would certainly have been lost.

“Turin was the first of the slaves to approach us. It was because of him and what he told that we knew to look for you and Haldir outside of the mine,” Elgalad said.

“I am just glad that Turin as well as Gimli and Namel survived the riot. They risked so much to help us,” Legolas said in response to his brother.

“And just think Legolas, soon the three of them as well as all the other people rescued from the mines will be returning to their homelands. They are free now.”

Galadriel’s words struck a chord of sadness within Legolas. Indeed, his three friends were free now but they would not be in Mirkwood for too much longer. Legolas had no idea if he might ever see any one of them again once they left.

“I want to go and see them.” Legolas declared.

“Are you sure my son, you have just had a trying morning. Perhaps you should-“

“Rest, I know mother but right now all I really want is to be out in the open.”

The queen-mother nodded her head in acquiescence. “Alright, just do not exert yourself.”

“Do not worry my lady, I shall be with him.” Haldir spoke up suddenly. “Of course, if that is alright with you Legolas?”

“Of course it is Haldir. I’m sure our friends would like to see you again as well.”

Legolas eagerly reached for Haldir’s hand but stopped the moment his father rose from his seat. “Very well then,” Said the elven king. “I would like if you would return before sunset.”

Legolas was silent for a minute but then assured his father that he would return upon the requested time. If he was surprised by his father’s action he did not show it. Haldir on the other hand, sighed audibly. Obviously he had braced himself for a much more rash reaction from Thranduil.

Legolas wondered if his father would ever be able to forgive Haldir. Even after telling his father everything, Legolas could still detect a note of distrust in his father’s words. But at least his father had given him leave to spend time with Haldir and Legolas knew better than to waste any one moment of it asking questions.

Galadriel watched as the Legolas and Haldir left the room and she hoped that the time they would have together would be peaceful. She, herself, was still trying to take in all that she had learned from them. Indeed, every one else in the room was trying to take in their stories in his or her own way. Yet, there was this deafening silence in the room and the demeanor of the woodland king only darkened the mood.

Galadriel found that she could no longer take the silence. She tried to speak but only managed to lose her words. She wanted to tell Thranduil that surely, by now, he must realize that his mistrust in Haldir was unfounded. As tragic as the situation had been for them there was nothing in heaven or earth that could change it.

But Thranduil, though subdued by his sullen mood remained in his previous opinion. He believed that the ordeal of their loved ones could have been prevented if she had just sent more bodyguards. He refused to say anymore other than that he wanted time to think. Legolain strongly urged Galadriel to obey the wishes of her husband. Celeborn found himself agreeing with the woodland queen. At this point there was nothing more that any of them could do.

********

“Do you think they are still talking?” Legolas asked Haldir as they made their way to the grove where the humans were being sheltered.

“I honestly don’t know. If I was anyone of them I would be too shocked to be able to say much. We both gave them a lot to take in and for all we know, it could be days before we get an honest reaction from any one of them.”

Haldir made several more paces before he realized that Legolas was no longer at his side. He looked over his shoulder to see that Legolas had stopped in his tracks.

“Legolas, what is it?”

Legolas lowered his gaze, almost as if he were ashamed. “We didn’t tell them everything.”

Haldir knew right away what Legolas was referring to. “I had already confided in Galadriel, Celeborn too, about how I reacted when you told me that…when you told me that you loved me. Speaking for myself I prefer that they are the only ones who know, at least for right now.”

Legolas sighed heavily. “My parents know as well but sadly, that information was not given in confidence but I had to do it. I had to tell my father how I felt about you. My brothers will learn soon enough but for right now, I would prefer that only my parents know.”

Haldir returned to Legolas’ side and put his arm around the prince’s shoulders. “The people who matter the most know what really happened, let us leave it at that.”

Legolas nodded and let Haldir set the pace as they continued on. “Yes, I think it best for now.” It was enough that his parents and Galadriel knew how the ordeal had really started. Now it was time to move on.

*******

For Legolas, the reunion with Gimli and Namel had been a most joyous one. Haldir couldn’t help but laugh at the way the old dwarf waddled on his stubby legs at full speed towards Legolas. To add to the moment, Haldir was finally able to introduce Legolas to Turin. Legolas embraced Turin like a brother and thanked him for looking after Haldir. The five spent the entire day simply enjoying each others company.

Haldir stood back and watched as Legolas frolicked with Namel and Gimli. Haldir couldn’t help but to notice how Turin kept glancing at Namel. More amusing still was how the man’s glance dashed away every time the girl looked at him. For a moment, Haldir found it hard to believe that the man, who now looked so abashed, was still the man who had fought along side him in the fight rings. But Haldir was happy for Turin, even though he had no way of knowing if Turin had a future together with Namel, he wished happiness for the both of them any way.

But despite the joy there was bitterness. Gimli, Namel and Turin would be leaving as soon as their people came for them. Haldir himself would be leaving for Lorien and there was no telling when, if ever, he would see Legolas again.

He did not doubt Legolas’ strength but he had become so accustomed to being the one to look out for Legolas that the idea of leaving him was almost unfathomable. Yet Haldir was still conflicted by a desire to once again walk under Lothlorien’s golden canopy. In Haldir’s mind he could see the golden leaves falling while with his eyes, he saw Legolas smiling. Both visions grappled within his heart and Haldir felt torn.

********

The next two days in Mirkwood flew by like an arrow and the night before the Lorien elves were set to leave had arrived before Legolas and Haldir were ready. Haldir had made it a point to spend every waking minute with Legolas though. Their routine became one of leaving on the morning and not returning till dusk.

Normally Haldir escorted Legolas back to his chamber; wished him a good night and left but on this night he remained. Legolas lay down in his bed while Haldir kneeled on the floor next to the bed. For the time being, the two just looked at each other.

“I wish you weren’t leaving tomorrow.” Legolas’ tone was sad but resigned to the fact that his father’s decision had not changed.

Haldir leaned forward, crossed his arms on the bed and rested his head upon them. “You know, I used to think that you royal children could have whatever they wanted.”

“I can understand why one might think something like that.” Legolas responded. “But despite the influence granted to us by our lineage you will find that are bound by rules of our own.”

“The rule of your families and the duties of your crown, I know that now. I guess even royals cannot have everything that they want either.” Haldir combed his fingers through Legolas’ hair.

“There is only one thing that I want right now though.” Legolas reached for Haldir’s hand and gazed deeply into those gray eyes that he loved so much. Haldir accepted the prince’s hand and listened intently.

“I will not be there to see you off in the morning so I want to wish you a safe journey home to Lothlorien.” Legolas only half smiled before shutting his eyes. To Haldir’s dismay, Legolas rolled over, ultimately turning his back to Haldir. “You should go and rest now. You have a long journey ahead of you tomorrow.”

Haldir could not believe how the tables had turned. Now it was Legolas one pushing people away from him. What saddened Haldir more was that he knew Legolas was trying to spare him self from any more pain by pushing him away.

Haldir wanted so much to cry with Legolas but he knew he should leave, while he still could. As much as wanted to linger he knew he could not for Legolas was fighting an emotional battle of his own. Rather then make it worse for Legolas, Haldir forced himself to leave.

One last thought occurred to him before Haldir left. He reached into the pocket of his tunic and pulled fourth the silver cloth. He didn’t know if it would do any good but he felt right in leaving it for Legolas. He placed it on the night stand before quietly leaving the room.

The clicking of his door echoed in Legolas’ ears and he hugged his pillow to him. The soft fabric was the only thing there to absorb his tears.

********

Haldir leaned up against the door of Legolas’ and tried to compose himself. He soon realized that he was not alone. Thranduil sat in chair across the room and regarded Haldir with those same critical eyes.

“Does Legolas sleep?”

Haldir was surprised by Thranduil’s casual tone but answered. “He has retired though I do not know what rest he will find.”

“And yourself, will you be able to rest tonight?”

“Why are you talking to me like this, what are you playing at?” Haldir’s voice was sharper than he had intended. But he was in no mood for games at the moment and if Thranduil was preparing for yet another quarrel Haldir preferred to have it out now.

Thranduil could see the tension build within Haldir and knew right away how greatly he had wronged the march-warden.

“I knew of my son’s feelings for you as I knew that Galadriel’s offer to let Legolas reside in Lothlorien was an effort to try and bring the two of you together.”

“If you knew that then why did you still agree to let Legolas stay in Lothlorien?” Haldir’s tension grew with his confusion but he managed calm himself a little.

“Mainly because he wanted to so much, it was as simple as that. I have yet to meet the father who could deny an eager wish of his child. But in all honesty, I didn’t think you would ever come around to him. I had always thought you a very cold individual.”

Haldir’s nostrils flared and his lips pursed; the final insult had been delivered. “I will not stand for this. You do not know me and I am in no mood to bicker with the likes of you.” The room suddenly felt very constricting and Haldir stormed towards the exit.

“Haldir, please wait.”

Haldir stopped just one foot shy of the door. It was only because of the sudden humility in the King’s voice that Haldir even cared to do so.

Thranduil stood up from the chair and approached Haldir but came no closer then a few feet thinking it best to give Haldir his space. He heaved a deep sigh and then began.

“I will not deny the anger that I harbor towards you. I can send you back to Lorien, I could see to it that you and my son never meet again but it would all be in vain. Even if I had the power to send you beyond the circles of the world it would not be enough to make Legolas forget you.

“Whether I like it or not you are apart of my son’s life now despite all that has happened. When he told me he loved you I was scared because I knew that he meant it. ”

Haldir was completely taken over by his confusion. “If you have accepted all that you then why are you still so opposed to me?”

Thranduil sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping as looked Haldir in the eye. “I am a father and he is my child. If you are ever a father you will understand that the only a parent has aside from their child’s happiness is to protect them from suffering of any kind.“
Haldir sighed sympathetically. The understood very well what Thranduil saying. Even though his parents were gone, Haldir knew beyond doubt that they would want him and his brothers to be happy. But He was still confused as to Thranduil trying to tell him.

“My Lord, I don not understand what you are trying to tell me?”

“Do you love my son?” The king’s words could not have been more direct.

Haldir felt completely taken by surprise. Not by Thranduil asking him the question but more because he had never asked the question of himself. Did he love Legolas?

After a few moments of thought, Haldir could only arrive at one conclusion. He had always been taught to be honest and honest he would be.

“I do love him,” Haldir said with soft eyes. “He has become very important to me and occupies a great deal of my thoughts now. He probably will from now on. That is how I feel about him. Can that not be called love? But still, if you can call this feeling love, is it the way Legolas wants me to love him? Of that, I am uncertain.”

Thranduil nodded his head considering Haldir’s feelings. When Thranduil returned his gaze; Haldir no longer saw the face of a stern king, but rather the face of an understanding equal. Thranduil was actually smiling but it was not complete smile. The smile seemed as though it was born more of acquiescence rather then satisfaction.

“At least my son has a place in your heart somewhere.”

“But that is not good enough for you, is it?”

“No, I can’t say I approve of my son being with someone who does not love him whole heartedly but that is not my decision to make. I know that now. I cannot alter my son’s wish to be with you anymore than I change the bond that you two apparently share.”

Haldir’s heart skipped a beat. Had Thranduil changed his mind? “Are you saying that you will allow me to remain here Legolas?” Haldir’s words were laced with disbelief.

“That is your decision to make. Being a warrior my self I know what it is to hear my home calling me back. Can you resist that call? Can you forsake the golden wood for Legolas and be at his side?”

“Are you saying that you will trust me to look after Legolas?” Haldir spoke with a degree of hope for he also wanted Thranduil to find it in his heart to forgive him.

“I am doing this for my son.” Thranduil strode to the entrance of his own person chambers. But before entering he turned back to Haldir. “Of course this is not a royal command, I cannot make you stay but nor do I ask you stay. I am asking you to decide what really matters most to you.” With that, the woodland king disappeared behind his door.

Haldir staggered leaving the royal chambers, his thoughts in a daze. Now that he had the choice it was proving to be more difficult than he had realized. By the time he returned to his own chambers he was no closer to making a decision.

Just like before the image of Legolas’ face grappled with images of golden leaves floating in the air. And just like before, Haldir felt torn between the two. As he lay down and awaited sleep one last thought occurred to him. /Thranduil said to decide what mattered most to me/

With this thought came a moment of perfect clarity and though Haldir was saddened he felt encouraged for he knew what he had to do now. Everything else he put into the hands of the Valar and prayed for their strength.

*********

A new morning dawned to find the elves of Lothlorien making final preparations for their journey back to the golden wood. There were many good byes among the warriors of both realms for many bonds were formed during the quest to find Legolas and Haldir. Among the closest of allies were wishes and hopes to see each other again someday. It was well known that relations between the two realms were damaged. But all hoped that such ill feelings between Mirkwood’s king towards Galadriel would not last forever.

Celeborn put the last of the supplies in his saddlebag and made one last look around his host. Everyone was packed and eager to return home but there were two he could not see. Neither Galadriel nor Haldir were present and Celeborn was not sure where they were. Rumil and Orophin had not seen their brother either so Celeborn ordered his host to stand by until he found his wife and march-warden.

Celeborn set out and found that he needn’t look far. Underneath the canopy of a mighty oak tree (referred to as the mother oak if he recalled correctly) stood Galadriel as well as Haldir. The two of them looked as though they were deep in conversation and a very serious one at that. Celeborn decided to wait until they were finished before approaching them.

His wait was not long for Galadriel became aware of Celeborn’s presence and both she and Haldir made their way towards him.

“Husband,” Galadriel greeted warmly before resting her face against his shoulder. Celeborn could tell by her emotional state that something very important had just transpired between her and Haldir.

“Haldir has something he would like to tell us.

Celeborn put his arm around Galadriel and the two of them listened to Haldir as he explained what Thranduil had offered him as well as the decision he had come to.

********

The morning sun rays passed and the light of noon took their place yet Legolas remained in bed. He knew that sooner or later one of his brothers, his mother or his father would come to rouse him. Most likely they would plead that remaining in bed for so long was not healthy and that moving about would make him feel better. He would listen to their advice, if only to make them feel better, but Legolas had no idea what would make him feel better. Was there any way to ever really feel ‘better’ once the love of someone’s life was absent?

Legolas’ body lay still with sleep but his mind was awake. He was aware of the sheets pulled up to his chin as he lay on his side as well as the piece of cloth clutched in his hands. Legolas had awakened earlier to find him self alone. Not that he was surprised for Haldir had left last night. What did surprise Legolas was what Haldir had left behind. There, folded upon the nightstand was a piece of silver cloth stained with blood.

Legolas could hardly believe his eyes when he saw it. That cloth stained with both the blood of Haldir as well as his own. Haldir had kept it in his time of need and Legolas knew he would do the same. Soon the world would beckon his return and Legolas would find himself making his way through it somehow. But at the moment, he was content to ignore the world.

The door to his chambers suddenly creaked open and someone entered. So the world came calling already. It was too soon for him though, too soon. Legolas could feel his mattress sink under the weight of the person who was now sitting next to him-his ada no doubt. Legolas still gave no heed even as a hand began to rub his shoulder lightly.

“Don’t worry ada I’ll wake up in a minute.” Legolas grumbled still not wanting to get up.

“Take a minute, or an hour, I will still be here when you wake up.”

Legolas opened his eyes, surely what he just heard was a dream; it couldn’t possibly have been him. But Legolas found that he dared to hope and turned to see the one who now sat beside him.

“Haldir…” Legolas couldn’t believe his eyes, it couldn’t possibly be and yet there he was. Haldir was there, smiling down at him.

“It is bit late to still be in bed so you family asked if I would check on you.”

Legolas numbly sat up. He was still trying to accept that Haldir was right in front of him. There was only one way he could test the situation. He raised his hand inviting Haldir to take it. The moment Legolas felt Haldir’s fingers entwined with his own was more magical then any dream.

“How is this possible?” Tears formed in Legolas’ eyes and Haldir was quick to brush them away.

“Your father and I had a little talk last night. I don’t think we understand each other completely but the one thing we do agree on is you. We just want you to be happy again.”

“But what about your brothers and Galadriel and Celeborn? What about Lothlorien, Haldir, I know the golden wood still calls to you.”

“It does, Lothlorien will always call to me.” Haldir pulled Legolas to him. “But Lothlorien will always be there.”

Legolas looked up to Haldir. “Are you certain, what if my father…”

Haldir placed a finger over Legolas’ lips. “I severely doubt your father will change his mind and order me away. I will miss my brothers as well as Galadriel and Celeborn. But they understand that now I’m needed here at your side. I’ll be here for as long as fate allows.”

Haldir then sealed this vow with a kiss upon Legolas’ lips. With that kiss, Legolas received all that Haldir had to offer him. Legolas had waited and wanted this kiss for so long and it was better then he could have ever imagined. Of all the moments in his elven life, Legolas knew this moment was one he would cherish forever.

The silver cloth slipped from Legolas’ hand as he brought it up to Haldir’s face and their kiss deepened. The cloth came to rest on the floor. Legolas would not need the cloth for his memory now that Haldir was there with him. Whether the future held joy or sorrow was yet to be seen. But like the blood that stained the cloth, the destinies of Legolas and Haldir were entwined forever.

The end

If you are reading this then that means that you have read this story all the way through. By doing so, you have joined me on the nearly four year odyssey that was this stories development. I would like to thank all of those who have arrived here at the end with me. An extra special thanks goes to all of those who were kind enough to send me feed back. Any projects I do in the future I hope to make as enjoyable and good for you as this story. Every one take care.