In the Garden

Title: In the Garden, Chapter 13 (Betaed)
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, others implied
Rating: R
Warning: AU (Story set several hundred years after ROTK in Aman); Het.
Feedback: Constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive: Adult Fanfiction; Fanfiction
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Lady Victoria for betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Prof. Tolkien. A quick check of my bank account should prove I’m not making anything off of writing my stories. Sigh!
Summary: Life in the Blessed Land has not been so blessed for Elrond. Can the happiness that has long eluded him be found in the words of a red-bound journal, the help of his scheming friends, and the granting of a wish that none thought possible?

Chapter 13 --- Estë, the Gentle

The past day and a half of travel had been long and hard for the worried family. The rain had fallen in relentless torrents for much of the time and the road to the Gardens of Lorien had been barely passable. On several occasions, they had been forced to pull one of the carriages out of deep ruts in the path caused by the swift moving water, as small flash floods all but obscured the road.

In those moments, they had been doubly grateful that Olórin had met the carriages at the outskirts of Valimar and had insisted on accompanying them to the Gardens. The presence of the Maia had been reassuring to the elves and his magic had helped them free the carriages on more than one occasion. After so many years on Middle-earth, the Maia had long ago come to consider the elves of Elrond’s household as his family… a family he would stand with in its hour of need.

They had stopped for brief periods to allow their horses to recover and graze in the grasslands that flanked the road. Little had been said by the travelers beyond that which was necessary to accomplish the tasks associated to their journey. The mood of the group had been somber as the lingering pain of old wounds warred with worry and guilt over the current condition of their kin.

Elrond, Glorfindel, and Lindir had overtaken the carriages two hours into the journey, relieved to see their old friend, Mithrandir. The four had ridden ahead for brief stretches to scout the road and look of convenient places to rest the horses. Seeing the restlessness of the younger elves, they had traded places with them periodically to allow them to escape the tension and gloom of the carriages.

As they entered the last leg of the journey, the rain had finally stopped, allowing them to ride along side the carriages rather than act as scouts. Exhausted, Elrond found his thoughts drifting back to the day before. He had returned home to find his friends and extended family gathered in his study, working on the plans for the new school. Lindir, as he had expected, had not told them about the events of the preceding day nor of his decision to attempt to seek an end to his marriage.

Seeing them all there, he felt an obligation to tell them what had happened… and what had precipitated the current crisis. Once word of their trip to the Gardens became generally known, his household was going to again draw unwanted attention from a gossip-hungry public. He owed them the courtesy of hearing the truth from him so that they might have time to prepare for the coming onslaught.

Flashback

Obviously having been watching for his return, Lindir met him in the hallway near the entrance to his study. It had not taken him long to update the Teleri about the new complication of Haldir’s condition and their decision to take the ailing elves to the Gardens of Lorien. “Would you please ask the stable hands to prepare the carriage for a long trip? I will need for one of the servants to pack saddlebags for my sons and myself, as well as, provision the carriage with supplies for several days… perhaps a week. I will also need to have my horse saddled and readied for the journey.”

“I will see to it immediately, Elrond. I will also have them saddle my horse so that I may accompany you,” he added. “I will ask Taerad to have one of the staff pack our supplies for the trip, so that we can keep this news close to the family.”

“I would appreciate your company, old friend, but the weather is foul and I cannot ask this of you,” Elrond began.

“You have not… I have volunteered. What else must we do before we depart?”

Feeling a little of the weight that had settled on his shoulders ease, he sighed. “I need to tell the others. Gossip will start once our departure is known. While I trust our people and those loyal to Galadriel and Celeborn not to betray us, it is doubtful we will be able to leave the City without being seen. Two carriages leaving in a heavy rain… no we will not so fortunate.”

“Tis likely you are right. Most of our closest friends and family are already here working in the study.” Hesitating, he asked, “Are you ready for Meril to hear you plan to seek the mercy of the Valar? She is here as well.”

“Why would…?”

Rolling his eyes at the unasked question, Lindir reminded him, “I have known you since you were an elfling, Elrond. I have never seen you form a connection with anyone else such as you have with her… and in such a short time. You are reserved in letting people close to you and so is she. I think the two of you may be good for each other. You have both been too much alone for far too long.”

“First the twins and now you… am I that obvious?”

Smiling slightly, he nodded, “For those of us that know and love you… yes, you are. We have been worried for so long, it is a relief to have reason to hope again! Hope you may yet find the happiness you… and Meril deserve.”

Shaking his head, Elrond muttered, “I have not come to any decisions! I simply like her company and find her very attractive.”

“I would hardly expect you to have made any decisions! You have much yet to resolve before you can come to that point, but I still have hope you will be given the chance to make that decision… make a decision that is in your best interests and for love. If that comes to be, I will rejoice… be it with Meril or some other lucky elleth,” Lindir replied, pleased that he had managed to say all of that with a straight face. He had plans… and Meril was at the center of them.

“Go and speak to our family while I make the necessary arrangements.” Leaving Elrond to handle this matter, the white-haired elf hurried off to find his wife.

-----

Taking a deep breath, he walked into the study. “I am glad you are all here, for I need to share certain information with you. While I have no worries that any of you will repeat what I am to tell you, it would be naïve of me to expect this news will not soon be a topic of much speculation throughout the City.”

Concerned by the deep lines that had appeared in the peredhel’s face over the course of the last day, Erestor rose and walked over to lead his friend to a wing chair by the fire. “Elrond… what has so unnerved you, meldir? You look quite distressed.” (friend)

Taking the offered seat, Elrond rested his head against the back of the chair for a moment so that he could organize his thoughts. Looking across the room, he found the eyes of his foster father. Steadied by their calm and loving regard, he began. “The twins and I will be away for some days on an urgent matter. They must accompany their mother to the Gardens of Lorien in hopes she can find healing from the Lady Estë. She has fallen into a deep, yet fretful sleep and we cannot waken her.”

“Ai! Elrond what has caused this?” Glorfindel asked.

“There is more. Haldir too has fallen into a confused and highly agitated state. We found him under a tree near Galadriel and Celeborn’s house this morning, oblivious to the rain. I sedated him when his siblings were unable to calm him.” Reaching up to massage his temples, hoping to relieve the building tension, he continued. “We feel they have begun to fade from the isolation and censure that has been directed toward them since they openly broke faith with our customs and laws. I do not say this to excuse their behavior, only that it seems the only explanation.”

The room was silent for several minutes before Melpomaen hesitantly asked, “Why must you go, Elrond? You have suffered enough and I hate to think of you being subjected to yet more.”

Smiling slightly, Elrond tried to explain. “While I sincerely thank you for your concern, my brother, I must go. My sons and our dear friends, Galadriel and Celeborn, need my support… as will Haldir’s siblings. Their parents have refused to acknowledge him and it falls to them. Then too, until the Valar…”

Noting the blush that had colored Elrond’s pale features as he broke off speaking in mid-sentence, Ereinion traded a look with Erestor. Suspecting… hoping he knew what Elrond had been about to say, the former High King decided to push his foster son to admit the rest. “Until the Valar what, ion?” (son)

Sighing, Elrond cast a quick glance at Meril before looking out the window at the rain-swept garden. “I was meeting with Celebrian yesterday at her parents… with theirs and my sons’ blessings, to tell her I had resolved to go to the Valar and ask to be released from our vows. She… did not handle this news well. I must go as I am still, in name at least, her husband. The Valar may wish… to question me.”

The room again fell silent, though there was an expectant quality to the charged atmosphere. Each was lost in his or her own thoughts when Linder broke the silence. Startled, all eyes turned to mark the ancient elf’s entry into the room. “Our saddlebags have been sent to the stables, meldir and Taerad has had packs prepared for the twins. The horses and the carriage are being readied for the trip, so that we may leave within the hour.” (friend)

“The carriage needs to be sent to collect Himiel and her brothers, before it goes to Romen Kard to carry Haldir to the Gardens. The twins’ packs can be stored under the seats for now,” he replied. (Sunrise House)

“Good. This will give you time to change into more appropriate attire for our trip. I hardly think a robe is the most suitable clothing for traveling by horseback,” Lindir observed, the habits of millennia allowing him to take charge of his emotionally exhausted friend.

“As you say, my dear friend. I will return shortly.” Rising, Elrond headed for the door. Glorfindel rose to intercept him.

“Give me a time to ready my horse and a saddlebag of my own, for I will accompany you as well, mellon nin. You may be safely home to Aman, but I still wish to stand with you and your sons. I do not yet feel ready to believe Celebrian is not acting at being ill to make you feel guilty. I must see her myself to be reconciled.” Holding Elrond’s gaze, he added, “The news that you have at last made the decision to go to the Valar is something we have all waited many years to hear. I will not see her play her games to impede this.” (my friend)

‘While your company is indeed welcome, I have no doubts she is indeed fading. This is no act. My sons and their grandparents are deeply grieved. In truth, you surely saw how irrational she has become when we encountered them in the park.” Sighing, he concluded, “Sadly, this time she is not playing one of her games. She is in a very bad way.”

A faint, pain-filled, “I am so sorry! So sorry!” caused all of them to turn in surprise to stare at the maiden sitting silently by the window. Tears streamed down Meril’s face as she hung her head in shame and grief.

Worried by her reaction, Elrond strode over and knelt on one knee in front of her. Taking her hands, he asked, “Meril? What grieves you so? For what do you think you owe an apology?”

Unable to face him, she attempted to pull away, intending to flee the house. “I should never have spoken as I did to her that day! I should have seen how… unstable she had become. I did not mean to make matters worse. I am so sorry!”

“You are not to blame for this, Meril. This has been a long time coming and your words did not trigger this. Even for the Eldar, there must come a time of reckoning. They betrayed our laws and customs and brought the ridicule of Aman upon themselves. You have suffered enough because of their behavior. Do not take on the responsibility for their actions.” Squeezing her hands hoping to reassure her, he whispered, “As your uncle reminded us all this morning, we are not the ones that brought this upon them. You are no more responsible for this by what you said than I am for speaking to her yesterday. This sickness has been building for some time now. We will take them to the Gardens and hope they can be helped.”

“But…”

“But, nothing, Lirimaer. You are not responsible for their actions… now or in the past. Let your guilt go and concentrate on your own healing.” Tear-filled blue eyes finally lifted to lock with his. “Promise me you will do this.” (Lovely one)

Meril stared into his worried silver eyes for several minutes, weighting his words. Finally, she spoke. “I will give you this promise on one condition… you likewise promise me to do the same.”

Caught off guard by her demand, Elrond found himself smiling for the first time since the scene with Celebrian the day before. “Then we are in agreement. We will both work on healing our spirits and accept we are not responsible for what has happened to Celebrian and Haldir. It is indeed time we both moved beyond the grief of the past… and present.”

End Flashback

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Lost as he had been in his thoughts, Elrond was slightly startled to realize that they had, at last, entered the realm of Estë, the Gentle and the Lord of Desires, Irmo. The Gardens of Lorien stretched out in front of them, their lush greens and jewel-tones sparkling in the aftermath of the cleansing rains. The onset of night cast a pale, silvery glow across the landscape and the power, the grace of the Valar that lived in these hallowed grounds, reached out to touch and sooth the heavy hearts of the elves that had sought their aid.

Shivering in reaction to the warmth that wrapped around his chilled heart and spirit, Elrond closed his eyes as ancient wounds, ones that still bleed, began to heal. A soft, soothing voice whispered to his heart, “Welcome to Lorien, Elrond Eärendilion. You have waited too long, pen vuil, to seek us. Your fëa is torn and frayed from too many losses… too many pains. You will find rest and healing in our gardens.” (dear one)

“Ada? We have arrived.”

Forcing his eyes open, Elrond struggled to focus on his sons. Finally noting the worry marking their faces, he shook his head to clear his thoughts and smiled. “So we have, my sons. The Lady welcomes us.”

“The Lady, Ada? No one has as yet come to greet us,” Elrohir questioned, sharing a distressed look with his twin.

“Your father’s spirit hears our welcome, penneth. I spoke to his heart, for I feel his pain.” (young one)

Whipping around, the younger peredhil found themselves face to face with the captivating beauty of the Vala Estë. Dropping to their knees, Elladan whispered, “Forgive us, Lady. We meant no disrespect.”

A gentle smile lit the silver eyes of the Vala as a faint breeze shifted and fluttered the flowing grey robes she wore. Midnight black hair trialed behind her, brushing the ground as she slowly approached the younger peredhil. Resting a gentle hand atop Elladan’s head, she tilted Elrohir’s chin so that she could see into his troubled grey eyes. “No apologies are required, young ones, for I find nothing disrespectful in your worry for your parents. You have much grief weighing at your hearts. I will help you find the healing… the peace you have long desired.”

Looking around the quite glade, Estë studied the kneeling elves. “Long have we seen the trials of those that struggled to help free the lands of Middle-earth from the evil of the Fallen One… his corrupted followers. My brethren and I hold much love and affection for you and your peoples. It is time that the Blessed Lands become thus for you, my children. Now begins the time of your healing.”

Galadriel cautiously raised tear-filled eyes to meet the knowing gaze of the Vala. “My daughter… can she yet be saved, my lady? I would give my life… my spirit if it is needed to have her whole and hale again.”

Hearing Celeborn’s pain-filled gasp in response to his wife’s words, Estë walked over to lay a hand on the tops of both of their heads. “Well I can understand the grief of a mother, Galadriel, but I would never ask you to pay such a price. Celebrian must take responsibility for the choices she has made… the pain she has caused, before she will find healing from the damage she has wrought to her spirit... to the fëar of those around her.” (spirits)

Looking over at the young elves of a far-away realm that bore the name of her home, she continued. “Haldir must do the same. They retain the freewill given them by our creator, so the choice in this is theirs.”

“Be comforted… we love the children of Eru Ilúvatar. Together, we will help Haldir and Celebrian find their way back to us. The wrongs they have done cannot be undone, but the wounds and grief they have caused can be healed. In this garden… there is healing and rest for you all.”

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Thanks MarzBar! I do love Elrond... in case you hadn't noticed! He does deserve some luck!

Hi Aglarien! Yes, poor Haldir needs some help! Let's hope the Valar can help him and the others! Thanks for reading!