the trouble with love

Chapter 36 Departure

They stood gathered in front of the house. The picture seemed a cof tof the day of arrival, only today it was a departure and not an arrival that had gathered them together. Thranduil had decided not to delay his departure and now both parties would leave together.
Horses welrealready groomed and waiting patiently for their masters, eager to be going. They had been in the stables during the celebrations and they hadn’t liked it one bit.
None of the elves was seated for both parties were still lacking some elves and most that were here were saying their goodbyes. Every elf personally thanked Elrond for his hospitality and generosity, which Elrond always waved away, thanking them for their good moods and participation.

Knowing that it might be a long while before he could come back here, if the Half-elf still wanted him, Thranduil took a good look around. He would have loved to grasp Elrond in a final embrace, but their promise not to show anything kept him in place. He smiled when he saw Melpomean meekly coming out of the house, joining the parties. He looked at the scene that, unknown to all others, enfolded itself before him.

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Melpomean sighed as he saw the bright lights of the outdoors. There was no going back now. He had to step outside, walk over to the gathering crowd and keep his composure. He closed his eyes as he swaa lia little. He wanted to run back to his room, but in stead he forced himself to slowly walk forward. He wondered if he wouldn’t fall. He felt a bit dizzy and there would be no wall to support himself on. /Why did I come here?/

But he knew perfectly why. He knew Elrond might leave today. Every time the lord had mentioned the departure of the elves a sad look had invaded his posture. Melpomean knew it was about Thranduil. That Elrond did not wish for the Mirk kin king to leave. And he had figured Elrond would not decline an offer from Thranduil to join him and move to Mirkwood. So he knew today might be Elrond’s last day in Imladris.
Melpomean had cried long and painful tears when he had reached that conclusion. Tears Glorfindel had been unable to understand, who had joined him to take him for a walk. And when the blond had left, saying he would fetch Elrond, Melpomean had closed the door. He had heard Elrond’s knocks upon it only minutes later. He had heard Elrond softly calling to him. But he had not stood to open the door. He was miserable and wanted to be alone.
After a while he had decided he did not wish for Elrond to leave, not without seeing him off. So he had dressed in his most formal robes, even more formal than the ones Elrond had caught him in before, and had made his unsteady way towards the yard.

But now that he was finally there, he felt insecure. /How am I going to keep my face straight? Well, if I just keep on walking and look at the ground, none will notice./ And that’s what he did. Not a second before Thranduil had looked his way.

Slowly putting one foot in front of the other he carefully, but determinedly stepped onto the stony soil. He was panting slowly as he tried his best to appear normal. It took a lot of energy to do that and the walk here had already tired him.
Suddenly a stick appeared put of nowhere in front of his feet. Tired as he was, he was unable to step over it and he tripped. Closing his eyes, he reached out his hands, ready to plummet to the floor, embarrassing himself yet again. He heard Elrohir screaming his name suddenly two strong arms encircled his waist, stopping his fall. He let the arms manhandle him until he was standing upright again, but he kept his gaze lowered.

Elrohir looked at his father. Something didn’t feel right. He wondered why Melpomean had not even tried to stop his fall, the arms had not even left the upper body. He had been shocked when he had seen what was about to happen.
He had been carrying various sticks for Daiz. What the elf wanted to do with them he did not know but he had promised to keep them with him until Daiz came back. And then Melpomean had approached him. At first he wondered why the secretary did not manoeuvre around him, but then he saw Melpomean had his eyes and head lowered to the floor.
He figured Melpomean would see soon and if he would move them now he would only risk hurting the elf. But Melpomean had not moved away, had walked straight into them and Elrohir gasped as he saw what was happening. “Melpomean!” His voice had been soft, he had been too shocked to make much sound and he stood transfixed.

Melpomean would have collided with the ground had Elrond not heard his son’s gasp and had seen for himself as he turned his head. He immediately was at their side and stopped the fall. When Elrohir looked at him questioningly he shook his head. Whatever Elrohir wanted to ask, it would have to wait.
He helped Melpomean upright and, feeling the heavy breathing of the other, kept him steady as he slowly guided him towards a bench, Elrohir tailing them.

He frowned when he realised Melpomean kept his head lowered. /Is this another flash of self-loathing?/ He decided to do away with that now and he would do that by putting the blame with the one who was to blame. “Melpomean, is everything alright? Elrohir, what were you thig? Yg? You should know better than to wave those sticks and poles around so everyone will fall over them. If you’re not careful the little ones will think it some kind of game. Now get rid of them.”
The second he had started speaking Melpomean’s head flew up. He had had no idea it was Elrond who held him. He reddened in embarrassment at his clumsiness, which worsened at the words. /He’s blaming Elrohir. But it’s not his fault. I did not see them, I didn’t watch where I was going./
But before he could voice any of this Elrond was addressing him, having successfully dismissed his son. “What were you thinking, Melpomean? Why did you not say you really did wanted to see everybody off? We would have helped you. You are still very weak, meldir.” He could see they were a long way from healing the other mentally, but he would not give up. /Now that I now how to read the signs, I find it odd I did not see before. Forgive me./

Melpomean started to shake a little, forcing back his tears. Just the thought this might, and probably would, be the last time he would have Elrond close, touching him, filled him with sadness. “I am sorry, my lord, but I only thought of it now. I did not realise and…” he stopped speaking when Elrond made him look at him. His eyes, one of which still hidden from the world, widened at the expression in the other’s eyes. “Call me Elrond, meldir. You know how I hate titles. The create so much unwanted and unnecessary distance.”
Melpomean nodded. But, in spite of Elrond’s good intentions, the words fuelled his believe the lord of Imladris was indeed leaving this realm to live in Mirkwood. It stabbed him in the heart and he could no longer hold back his tears.
“If you insist, Lord Elrond. You are right, I am too weak for this. I will go back to my room.” He stood to go, suddenly feeling stronger in his determination to get away from here. “Please excuse me with the others. Merin ten mallën varnavë ar arwálassë, Heru Elrond. Nai eleni silë tiënyassë.”

At first the words didn’t register with the elf-lord and he watched the other go, stunned at the steady walk Melpomean suddenly adopted. But then they did. /He thinks I’m leaving? But why? Is that why he came? To say goodbye?/
Elrond’s thoughts were reeling. He should remain here, being the host he had a duty to perform, but something urged him on. He looked around and saw Thanduil standing there, a smile on his face. When the blond king realised Elrond looked his way he indicated to the door, telling him he should go after Melpomean. But Elrond had already left.

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“Ata?”
Thranduil looked next to him and saw Legolas standing there, insecure as if he were an elfling again. He drew him in a tight hug. “Ion-nîn, what troubles you?”
Legolas smiled. It did not surprise him Thranduil had sensed his inner battle. Quickly he told his father of what Erestor had told him and of Galadriel’s words.

Thranduil listened intensely and nodded when he finally realised the origin of the invitations. He told himself to thank Galadriel and Celeborn. He knew they had somehow known what was about to happen and had wanted to prevent it as well. And with success, for he had never seen his son so alive after the Ring had been destroyed.
But he would not enlighten Legolas on it. “I think you should take that job. Elvil and Elnihir are at the right age and you are one of the best there is. And you seem happy here, my son. If not for them do it for yourself. And if it doesn’t work out you can always go back.”

Legolas locked his eyes and, for the first time, really opened to his father. He felt he was drowning, lost in a world without directions or a map to guide him. Thranduil read his fears and doubts and squished his shoulders. He could tell Legolas would rather run away and never look ba
“I
“It is easier to flee than to stand firm and face the upcoming fight. Especially if one doesn’t know his enemy. And the temptation only gains in power when the battle is internal. When faced with themselves even the most experienced warriors become defenceless and the most fearless person turns into a shaking little bundle. A person’s real strength decides whether or not he can concur himself and emerge victoriously from those battles. I know you, Legolas Thranduilion, maybe better than you’d like me to, but that tells me that should you fight this, you will win.”
During his father’s speech Legolas’ eyes had filled with tears, for it had given him hope. Hope and trust, the two things he so desperately needed. He flung himself at his father and cried. At that moment he let go of all his grief and pain. Thranduil tightened his hold, soothed him and locked eyes with Celeborn.

The ‘Lóriën ruler smiled and inclined his head. He was glad Legolas had finallund und the strength to let go. When he felt his wife’s hand seeking his he gently squished it. This was one problem that now would solve itself in time.
Galadriel rested her head on Celeborn’s shoulder, happy with what she saw. /This almost makes up for all those insane moments I’ve had here. Almost./

Celeborn decided he did not wish to leave, not without knowing the other troubles where over as well. “I wish Valthroman did not have to leave. Sealbeth needs him close.” Galadriel sighed. “I know, but they need his skills on the road. The journey to Mirkwood is still a dangerous one.” “I know”

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When Thranduil’s other children finally arrived at the yard they hurried to their father and brother. They wondered what was wrong but one look from Thranduil told them to remain silent and not to worry.

Silinde decided that now would be a good time to execute her plan. “Father, I was thinking..” Makaik smirked, this was a good opportunity. “What? Really? Did it hurt your brains after such a long time of uselessness?”
Silinde glared at him, but did not take the bait. “Valthroman has never taken a vacation and we all know his time on greatly outweighs that of others. He seems to like it here, maybe he could come later and take his vacation.”

Without releasing his hold on his youngest Thranduil thought it over. It was true that Valthroman hardly ever took time off and his vacation was long overdue. He would not begrudge him a vacation at all. In fact, he agreed with Silinde. But he also knew the road was full off dangers and he was sure they would already leave Legolas behind.
Joreb read his thoughts and made a suggestion. “Look, we’re already travelling with ‘Lóriën for a while, I am sure they would not mind if we travelled together a little longer. It will add some days to our journey but if we were to take the mountain-pass with them, we would all be a lot safer and we could split up afterwards.”
Seeing his father’s agreement he strode away, determined to get Celeborn and Galadriel to agree, which they would. The others would make sure Valthroman would agree to it as well and Silinde made it her task to know what both he and Legolas would be needing from home.

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As soon as he was out of hearing-range Melpomean’s strength left him and he shrank down to the floor. He drew his legs to his body, placed his arms around them and started rocking himself. The tears that left his eyes flew freely only on one side. Angered he pulled at the hindering cloth around his eye until the second could cry freely as well. He closed his eyes as his agony overwhelmed him.

It was in this state that Elrond found him. He quickly sat down next to him, pulling him in an embrace, shocked when Melpomean flinched and pulled back. “Meldir, it is only me. What is wrong?”
All Melpomean could think of was to get away from him and he made clumsy attempts to rise, hindered by his blurry vision, his robes and hitigutigue. Elrond sighed. “Why don’t accept my help, meldir? I offer it freely. Now let me help.” His voice said it would not be denied and Melpomean sagged to the floor, feeling Elrond’s arms steady him and support him. He never wanted those arms to leave him, but he knew they would, forever. He cried harder.

Normally Elrond would have ushered the elf to hid, md, making sure he got rested, but this puzzled him and he instinctively knew this needed priority. “Melpomean, why are you crying?” Elrond realised it was easy to make the other cry, but he had never seen Melpomean cry this hard, not even what Elladan had told him compared to this misery. /It’s like he’s just lost everything/ Suddenly Elrond knew what it might be. /But no, he’s been in his rooms all the time and none of us are leaving./
Then Melpomean’s words came back.erinerin ten mallën varnavë ar arwálassë, Heru Elrond. Nai eleni silë tiënyassë./ He thinks I am leaving. Is he crying because he thinks I am leaving? But he hates me./

Shaking his head he decided to get rid of that miscomprehension first. “You’re probably wondering why I came after you.” He saw Melpomean nod and knew his words were heard and now had Melpomean’s undivided attention.
But how was he going to say it without catapulting him away again? How to convince the elf of the truth, when he was so stubborn. “I guess I just wish to know where you got the idea that I am leaving.” Melpomean looked at him with disbelieving eyes. “The celebrations are over and they are leaving.” Elrond sighed. “So?”
Melpomean swallowed, realising Elrond had not wished him to know, had not known the twins knew. “Elrohir and Elladan told me.” Elrond had to fight to keep his temper under control. “Told you what?”
Melpomean blushed and quickly turned away, before his feelings would show. “Thranduil’s leaving today.”

Elrond was about to tell the other to start making sense when he suddenly saw the train of thought the other had taken. /Elladan and Elrohir know about us and have told Melpomean. Of course, he figures I will accompany Thranduil to Mirkwood./ He drew the crying elf closer, uncaring of the reluctance. “I understand why you think I would leave, Melpomean, and I am highly honoured you came all the way out there to see me off, but it was unnecessary.”
Seeing Melpomean take in a deep breath he knew his words had been taken wrong. /He thinks I never wanted him to see me off./ Now that he knew the signs he could read the other like a book and he hurried to reassure him. “It’s unnecessary because I am not going anywhere. Imladris is my home and the people here my life. What reason do I have to leave?”
Melpomean shrugged. “Love.”

/But I don’t love him/ that realisation hit Elrond. He had taken no time to say that, even if it was only in his mind. He squinted his eyes in annoyance. He remembered his own words to Thranduil. He had said that if they hadn’t been attracted to one another the potion would not have worked.
Feeling Melpomean attempt to leave shook him out of his thoughts. “Melpomean, listen. I am not leaving and that’s final. Now let me get you to your room, where I will check on your eye.”

Melpomean pushed him away and when Elrond looked about to explode he hurried to explain. “The healer can do that and you have to see the others off. I am sure King Thranduil will want to say goodbye.” /and ask you along./ When Elrond had told him he wasn’t leaving he figured the king had not yet made his move and that it would only be a matter of time before Elrond did indeed leave.
But Elrond shook his head. “Lómiol is sulking. After having to see to you and Sealbeth he went on strike. The twins will have to see the others off. And they will understand that I value an elf’s health above good manners. Now come with me.”
Melpomean pushed him off again. “I can wait. You should go.” He drew in a deep breath and spilled it out before Elrond could explode, for that was near. “I am sure King Thranduil will want you to accompany him.”

Elrond was stunned. For a moment he did not know what to say but then he did. He lifted the other’s head, making sure Melpomean could see he was serious. “I do not think so Melpomean. There is no love between us, only lust. And even if he would ask me along I would never leave my realm, my people or my friends.” Seeing Melpomean about to argue he hurried to stop this once and for all. “I see you don’t believe me but it is true and I will tell you how it started if you follow my next order.”

Melpomean looked at him in wonder. Now what was Elrond up to? He would follow any order. Elrond smiled. He knew it would work. “Good. My order is that you stop arguing me over this and let me take you to your rooms and see to your eye.” Melpomean placed his hand over his chest and lowered his head. “My lord.”
“And another thing. Call me Elrond. Not My lord, not Lord Elrond, but Elrond.” And with that he took a shaking elf back to his rooms where he saw to Melpomean’s eye, which relieved for it was almost healed. Whilst tending to the injury he told Melpomean all about the potion and it’s result.
He never once felt guilty about being there in stead of outside on the yard, seeing the others off.

None questioned the twins when they said their father was temporarily indisposed. The twins had been pleased when Legolas told them he would stay to teach the elflings. But Elladan had wondered why the news of Valthroman staying pleased his younger twin.
Elrohir grinned, he had not yet enlightened Elladan on what Daiz, Celeborn and he had been doing. And right now he couldn’t. He hoped Thrilmaldur could stay as well, he still didn’t know what was going on between Erestor and him. Everything looked the same, but he just didn’t know.
/O well, things will calm down now that everybody is leaving and I can bug Erestor till he talks./ he thought as the two parties moved out of sight.

But that’s where Elrohir was wrong.

End chapter 36
TBC

Translations:
Merin ten mallën varnavë ar arwálassë, Heru Elrond. Nai eleni silë tiënyassë
I wish you a pleasant and safe journey, Lord Elrond. May the stars shine over your path.
Ion-nîn my son