Take My Hand

Take My Hand
Author: Noelwing
e-mail: Noelwing@aol.com
Pairing: Legolas/Haldir
Genre: AU
Rating: R
Warnings: none for this chapter.
Disclaimer: Everything in the realm of middle-earth belong to Tolkien and are only being borrowed for this fic-any other characters are property of the author. /Words/ denotes thoughts.
Author’s Notes: Alright people, it looks like I will be unable to deliver on yet another promise. I hoped to be able to wrap up this story with this chapter but as things stand, there will yet be another chapter to come. But I look at it this way, I have worked on the fic for so long and I don’t want to short change anything. So I would much rather write two smaller installments and have them be good than write one big last chapter and have it be bad. Besides, I have wanted to update this fic for while now. So please enjoy this next chapter and feel free to send me any comments or questions.

Part 11: A Father’s Decree

“Nana, Orophin, it is alright, you can come out now.” Haldir called out. His hands shook fiercely around the knife clutched in his hands. The blade was covered in black blood from the orc that lay dead at Haldir’s feet.

“Oh, Haldir,” Cried his mother. “You have done it.” The orc that now lay dead at her son’s feet had been tracking their small family for several days. With Orophin still so small and another baby on the way, Haldir’s father had grown very weary of the orc.

Fearing that the orc would try to attack his children or wife, Haldir’s father had left his mother, Orophin and him self to shelter in hollowed out space at the base of a massive tree. Haldir had waited with his pregnant mother and little brother while his father went to hunt the orc. Nearly three days had passed and his father had not yet returned. Then, without warning, the orc attacked.

Fearing for his mother and Orophin; Haldir had grabbed the knife his father had given him. He did not know yet how to use it fully but that meant nothing; he had his family to protect. It was that single minded desire that guided his weapon and allowed him to smite his enemy.

“Oh, Haldir,” His mother cried once again and she ran and embraced her son. “Don’t ever do that again,” She grasped him by his shoulders and shook him. “Do not ever frighten me that way again.” With tears flowing from her eyes and glistening on her cheeks she looked at her son again. He began to shake with the adrenaline that still pulsed through his body and he was covered in dirt and orc blood. All were marks of a very foolish act for a child to commit but never had she been more proud of her son.

“Come here,” She said as she pulled hi into another embrace. “My hero,” She whispered. “My guardian.”

Haldir returned his mother’s embrace, well, as much as he could for her belly was so huge. “Mother, you should sit down,” Said Haldir as he helped his mother back to their shelter in the tree roots. Neither one looked back at the dead orc. Haldir helped his mother to sit down as comfortably as possible before he sat down next to her. Orophin, believing it now to be safe, crawled out from the hollow and joined his mother and big brother.

“Is the m…monster dead?” The little elfling whimpered.

“Yes, we are safe now,” Said Haldir’s mother as she wrapped an arm around Orophin. Her free hand rested upon her belly and she could feel the kicks of the child within. She sighed; it was nice to know that one of them had not been frightened by the orc’s attack.

“Nana, what is it?” Haldir said as he leaned in closer to his mother.

She patted her son’s face. “Oh, nothing my dear, your new sibling is kicking me again.”

Haldir placed his hand on his mother’s belly and he too felt the jolt of the infant kicking from inside. “How much longer now till the baby comes?”

“Not very long now; I think within the next few weeks you will have yet another baby brother to look out for.” She said patting her belly again.

“A brother, how can you tell nana?” Haldir asked in rapt fascination.

“Because he kicks so fiercely in my womb,” She sighed. “Just the way you two did.”

Orophin and Haldir looked at each other; both were equally excited by the prospect of yet another brother for them. “But nana,” Said Orophin, “There is a chance that the baby inside you is a girl.”

Orophin and Haldir delighted in the way their mother suddenly exploded with laughter. “That is true and what a blessing that would be. Having a girl would mean a daughter for your father, a sister to you two and a friend for me.” Both brothers joined their mother in her laughter.

Haldir drank in the moment of joy that he had with his family and looked forward to the return of his father so that he might share in their mirth as well. It was just what Haldir needed to break the last of the tension in his body. The orc attack had really frightened him.

But it was not the fear of the creature itself, rather, it was the threat it brought to his mother and brother. That beast would have killed them and Haldir knew it which is why Haldir had fought so ferociously. He knew that in his father’s absence protection of the family fell to him.

Orophin and his mother began to play a game of cat’s cradle and Haldir was content to just watch. In a short while he would have a new sibling; one that would be just as precious to him as Orophin. His entire family was dear to him and Haldir vowed that he would always guard and defend anything and anyone he held precious with his very life.

“Haldir,” Said his mother. “Don’t be by yourself come and join us.”

“Yes brother come back to us.” Orophin extended his hands out to Haldir. “Come on brother…brother…”

********

“Brother, brother can you hear me?” Orophin repeated firmly as he stood by Haldir’s bed side. It had been two days since they had arrived in Mirkwood and Haldir had been asleep the whole time. Rumil and Orophin had stayed by his side ever since waiting and hoping that they would soon have their brother back entirely. They kept repeating their brother’s name over and over hoping he would follow their voices out of the darkness.

Warmth, that was the first thing Haldir could feel. Next was the feeling of weight covering his whole body but it was not an uncomfortable weight. He breathed in deeply warm air and a slight moan echoed his exhale.

“Haldir please wake up…”

/A voice, who calls me/

Rumil gripped the sheets of the bed as his brother stirred more and more; he would wake at any moment, Rumil was sure of it. Orophin was just anxious as he saw Haldir’s eyes wince and his body moved ever so slightly. Finally the moment came when Haldir’s eyes opened.

Haldir’s vision was blurry but he could just barely make out the two faces that hovered over him. He blinked his eyes and soon he could see that the faces were smiling at him. Finally he was able to decipher the two faces that smiled so brightly at him. They were the faces of his brothers, Rumil and Orophin. They were smiling yet they had tears on their cheeks.

“Rumil, Orophin why are you crying?” As soon as the last word left Haldir’s lips both of his brothers flung themselves at him.

“Oh brother, we were so worried.” Rumil sobbed onto Haldir’s chest.

“We thought we would never find you,” Said Orophin, clinging to Haldir’s shoulder.

Haldir could feel the intensity of the emotions of his brothers and, with great effort, he lifted his arm and draped it over them. Haldir shut his eyes, he couldn’t remember anything. Where was he and how did he get to where ever ‘here’ was? His brothers were still clinging to him thus Haldir’s mobility was limited. Only his eyes were free to move and he used them to analyze his surroundings.

He was in a small room and the only light he could detect came from several large candles. Haldir had never seen such candles before. Each one was at least a foot thick and had three wicks at the top. The wall, opposite the side of the bed in which Haldir now lay, was covered by a massive drapery. In the light of the candles, Haldir could just barely see the green color and gold embroidery of what must have been a tapestry of some kind. Other than that, the room lacked any other kind of decoration and Haldir had no way of knowing if it was night or day.

His surroundings awoke a feeling of anxiety inside of Haldir. This feeling increased when Haldir noticed that the walls around him were stone; he was in a cave of some sort. /No, I escaped from there/ cried his thoughts. He did escape didn’t he? He and Legolas escaped that Valar forsaken mine, or had they? Was this just some cruel dream that now sought to torment him by deluding him with the tender touch of his brothers?

“Haldir, what’s wrong?” Rumil could feel Haldir grow tense and wondered what it was that alarmed him so. Then it occurred to him that Haldir might actually be having a claustrophobic attack.

“Is this a dream? Are the two of you really here with me?” Haldir’s eyes moved form Rumil to Orophin and back again. His breathing came in quick, shallow pants and a fine sheen of sweat formed on his brow.

“Orophin, keep him calm before he hurts himself,” Rumil left the side of the bed and went to the large tapestry that hung form the wall. He pulled the tapestry back and the room was suddenly filled with light-sun light.

The light was so intense Haldir had to cover his eyes with his hand. He rubbed and blinked his eyes fiercely but he was not yet able to handle the light. It was several minutes before Haldir was able to remove his hand from his eyes and several more minutes before he could look at the light without squinting. Sun light, blessed sun light, Haldir was being bathed in it yet he still couldn’t believe it.

“Yes brother, it is the sun and it is real; we are real and you are safe.” Orophin placed his hand on Haldir’s forehead only to grimace when his hand met clammy skin. “Brother please calm down, we are in Mirkwood now. You need not fear anything.”

“Mirkwood…” Haldir repeated. It was the place that he was trying to reach with Legolas. Haldir gasped out loud and Rumil and Orophin both startled at the sudden outburst of their brother.

“Haldir, what’s wrong, shall I get the healer?” Rumil said, ready to spring into action should he need to.

“Legolas, where is Legolas is he alright?” Haldir pushed him self up from the bed but the action caused a wave of dizziness to come over him.

“Haldir, you mustn’t try to get up your strength is not yet recovered.” Orophin burst out. He tried to push Haldir back onto the bed. Haldir allowed himself to be placed back down; Orophin was right, he was still too weak to get up.

“Haldir it is alright, you do not have to worry. The prince is with his family right now and they are taking care of him.” Orophin said trying to calm Haldir.

“Legolas, he is with his family. I have to know, is he alright?”

“Yes Haldir, as far we know. I imagine he must still be recovering as well. Do not worry I am sure you will see him again soon. But for now you must rest.”

/That’s right/ thought Haldir. He and Legolas had been found by one of Thranduil’s troops. Galadriel had been there as well. At the moment, that was all Haldir could really remember accept how happy Legolas had looked when he was embraced by his father. Legolas would be fine now that he was back where he belonged, that is what Haldir told himself.

Haldir turned his attention back to the sun light. Beyond his window he could see a vast green land and the air was fresh and clean. The sun light warmed his skin and he began to feel better already. Perhaps it would not be long before he could return to Lothlorien. Already, his heart began to yearn for the golden canopy of that fair wood-his home.

Haldir looked to his brothers. Rumil and Orophin must have been so worried about him and were still worried now. There were many things Haldir wanted to ask them but for now, it would be better to put all fear to rest.

“Rumil, Orophin,” He said raising his arms. “Come here.” Instantly, Haldir was enveloped by both of his brothers in a fond embraced. Haldir put an arm around each brother. “I missed you two, I missed you so much.” Haldir held his brothers as tightly as he could. He took their scent, their warmth and let their tears fall upon him. It was better than any dream could be.

********

Thranduil sat at his desk but he could not keep his eyes off of the door that joined his study to the living quarters of his family. Legolas was on the other side of that door with his two brothers. Legolas was now at home and safe and Thranduil intended from this day onward to keep it that way.

“Oh, my son.” Thranduil whispered mournfully as he remembered looking upon Legolas’ face. The once perfect, porcelain skin was now sallow and sad. More grievous still was the bruise that stilled marred his face. Thranduil choked back a sob, it had nearly broken his heart to listen to the healer tell all that the examination had revealed. Knowing that Legolas had been captured and endured slavery had been hard enough but that was not the worst of it.

Thranduil wanted nothing more than to stay by Legolas’ side but there were matters that he needed to attend to. Thranduil wished his son a pleasant sleep any way but knew it was too much to wish that his son wake up and be as he always was. Legolas would now be changed forever. Now it was time to face those who were responsible.

********

Galadriel and Celeborn stood outside of the royal chambers. While they waited to be summoned inside Galadriel recapped the last several days in her mind. The elven parties had made great haste in getting Legolas and Haldir to the safety of Mirkwood. They had made the trip in an astonishing three days. All the while Legolas and Haldir remained unconscious. Thus far, it had been two days since they had arrived and word had reached her that Legolas had awakened. Galadriel wanted so much to check on Haldir, to see if he had awakened as well. But at the moment, she was not free to do so.

The doors to the royal chambers slowly opened and from behind them appeared an elf maiden clad in a dress of green hues. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into one long braid and her green eyes regarded Galadriel with a kind of sad neutrality.

“Legolian, Queen of Mirkwood.” Galadriel exclaimed. The one standing before her was wife of Thranduil and mother of Legolas.

“My Lady, My Lord, My husband will see you now.” Legolian’s voice was laden with a subdued sadness. Galadriel admitted internally that she did not know Legolian all that well but she was intuitive enough to know that the meeting with the king was not going to go well at all. Both Galadriel and Celeborn followed the queen of the green wood into Thranduil’s study.

The air in the room was already tense but when they saw Thranduil at his desk, the tension grew all the more. For a moment Galadriel and the woodland king just stared at each other. It was clear that emotions raged within Thranduil and his body grew more and more rigid.

“I left my son in your care.” A bitter rage boiled within every syllable of Thranduil’s words.

Galadriel could feel herself shaking. For the first time in a long time she did not know what to say or what to do other than the let Thranduil speak his piece.

“I expected his safety to be of the utmost priority and you sent him off with only one escort.”

“Thranduil please,” Galadriel said trying to calm the king. “I believed Legolas to be more than capable-“

“You stop right there, I let myself be fooled by your flattering words before but not anymore.”

“That is enough!” Celeborn exclaimed. He refused to stand by while someone insulted his wife. “Galadriel does not mean to fool anyone for it is the truth. Legolas is indeed a capable fighter and Haldir is our most trusted guardian.”

“Most trusted or not he still failed. He failed to protect my son and now look at what has happened. My son is ruined, defiled and there is nothing now that can make him ever the same!”

“Thranduil no, that’s enough!” Cried Legolain. The queen’s outburst had brought everything to a standstill. “Thranduil don’t say that, don’t ever say that.” Her eyes brimmed with tears and her hands shook. Being unable to control her feelings, the queen went back inside the royal chambers and shut the door behind her.

Thranduil felt like screaming, punching a wall; doing anything that would quell the anger inside of him. But all his rage was swallowed by his grief and he knew that for the rest of his life that he would hold Galadriel and that failure of a guardian, Haldir, personally responsible.

“I will see to the protection of the human slaves. But as for you and your kin, I will give you leave to remain until you are recovered. But the moment you are able to travel I want you gone from my lands, is that understood?”

Galadriel could feel her head spinning. Ruin, defiled, what did Thranduil mean by those words? What had happened to Legolas that she did not yet know? “Thranduil, please tell me,” Begged Galadriel. “I don’t understand what you are saying. What do you mean by ‘defiled’-“

“DO NOT MAKE ME REREAT MYSELF!” Thranduil shot up from behind his desk, his voice thundering.

Galadriel had never seen anyone so consumed by rage. Her body froze and she would have keeled over if Celeborn had not been there to support her.

Thranduil slammed his fists down onto the desktop and clenched his hands so much that his knuckles turned white. He wanted to yell at the two elves in front of him to his heats content but Thranduil reigned in his anger.

“Leave, just leave now.” Thranduil said stoically as he sank back down into his chair. He brought his hand up to his forehead and let his blonde locks hide the rest of his face.

There was no use fighting this. Galadriel let herself be guided away by Celeborn and left the study. They did not even look back at the woodland king whose tears were hidden by the veil his hair provided. Neither Galadriel nor Celeborn needed words to express what they both were feeling. At this point there was nothing to be done other than to honor the king’s wishes.

********
Inside his chamber, Legolas lay in his bed curled under the blankets. His brothers, Elgalad and Thalion were with him as well. Both Thalion and Elgalad sat in the bed with their upper bodies leaning against the headboard. Legolas lay nestled in between them and by all appearances seemed to be asleep. Both brothers sincerely hoped that their youngest slept for they had heard the angry words of their father. Elgalad stroked Legolas’ back and hoped that their father had not meant the words he had spoken.

Legolas had heard what his father had said about him and he wondered if they were true; was he truly defiled? Legolas lay as still as a leaf on a windless day yet his mind kept repeating the same words.

/Ruined…defiled…ruined…defiled/

********

The day passed into the afternoon and in all that time, Rumil and Orophin remained with Haldir. He listened intently while his two brothers recounted all that had happened since the day he and Legolas went missing. Haldir was not the least bit surprised to learn that it was Galadriel’s premonition that caused the search to be launched. It was just one more thing to add to the long list of things Haldir had to be grateful to Galadriel for.

As Rumil and Orophin continued, Haldir was told of the fate of the slaves that had been rescued from the mine as well as the Easterlings. As far as the elves knew, all the Easterlings were either slain in battle or had fled. In that instant, Haldir pondered that fate of Brodda; was he slain or did he flee? That was as much thought as Haldir was willing to spare the man. He only wished that he would never hear the name Brodda, or Nanook for that matter, ever again.

The slaves, however, had mixed fortune. Sadly, some had been slain in the fray while others were so terrified of the elven fighters that they too fled in fear. But some heeded the words of Galadriel when she promised them freedom. Those people were given haven in Mirkwood by Thranduil. The humans were allowed to stay as long as they liked but as Haldir had already imagined, many wished to return to their places of origin. According to Orophin, messengers had already been dispatched to the realms of men, including Gondor, informing that their missing citizens wished to return home.

“I imagine it will not be too much longer before the realms send escorts to take the former slaves home.” Rumil said smiling empathetically. Rumil was always one for a happy ending.

“You know, the slaves far out numbered their captors. They could have rebelled at anytime and escaped, I wonder why they didn’t.”

“Don’t be so sure Orophin,” Rumil interjected. “After all, the only count we have of the Easterlings were those that had died. Whose to say there were not more.”

“They were too afraid,” Haldir said in somber respect. “Those people were not warriors they were just common folk. The Easterlings used brutality and fear as their greatest weapons and sooner or later, the slaves abandoned their hope.” Haldir trailed off and wrapped his arms around himself. His breath came in deep sighs. He shut his eyes and trembled knowing full well what it was like to lose hope.

“Oh Haldir what did they do to you?” Rumil said as he stood up to embrace his brother.

Haldir accepted the embrace and Orophin was quick to join. He had endured so much during his captivity and Haldir wanted nothing more than to forget all of it. But he knew he couldn’t do that, he knew that sooner or later he was going to have to tell his story. Most likely Legolas would have to do the same. The idea of retelling his captivity filled Haldir with dread for he knew that meant he would have to relive it, all of it.

Both Rumil and Orophin could feel Haldir tremble in their arms; they were deeply concerned. Then as if an answer to their concerns, the door to the room opened and into the room came Galadriel.

“My Lady, I am so glad you here.” Rumil exclaimed. “Look Haldir, it is Galadriel.

“Oh, my Lady,” Haldir said as his formal instincts took over and without even thinking, he tried to stand in proper respect for his lady.

Galadriel tried to tell him that he did not have to get up but it was too late. Haldir swung his legs over the edge of the bed but the moment he tried to stand his legs buckled and he collapsed to the floor.

Galadriel went to Haldir although Rumil and Orophin beat her to Haldir’s side. “Haldir you mustn’t push yourself. Your body as been at rest for several days and needs time to recover.”

“I’m sorry, I only meant to-“

“Oh for the love of the Valar Haldir you aren’t on duty.” Rumil snapped

“Goodness the elf maids are right about you,” Orophin grumbled. “Besides your duties you are completely oblivious to anything else.”

“If you are done chastising me then how about helping me back to the bed so I might begin my recovery then.” With smiles on their faces, Galadriel, Rumil and Orophin helped Haldir to get up but before they could place him on the mattress Haldir changed his mind. He asked to be taken to the window instead. Light still poured into the room from that window and Haldir asked to be placed there.

So Orophin helped Haldir to stand while Galadriel and Rumil placed some of the linens and pillows on the floor by the window so Haldir could have something soft to rest upon. As soon as they were done Haldir was able to sit down in the light.

Haldir was going to be fine where he was and though Galadriel really did not want to she asked that Rumil and Orophin leave the room for a while. She wanted to be alone with Haldir.

“But why, this is our brother and we are worried about him.” Rumil snapped though he meant no disrespect. Orophin was equally disgruntled and like two upset children, they stoutly refused to heed Galadriel’s request.

“Rumil, Orophin, it is alright for the two of you to leave,” Haldir said calmly. He understood perfectly well how his brothers felt but he could sense that the time that Galadriel wished to spend with him was of great importance.

The two brothers were willing to yield if their elder asked it of them. But they wouldn’t leave unless Haldir was absolutely positive. “Haldir, are you sure it will be alright?” Orophin said. He was still reluctant to leave his brother’s side.

“Yes I am sure and besides shouldn’t the two of you get some rest. You have been with me for most of the day anyway.” Haldir gave his brothers a reassuring smile. Rumil and Orophin decided to respect their brother’s wishes and the two of them left the room.

With the two brothers gone, the privacy that Galadriel wished for was now available to her. Haldir sat amongst the pillows and linens and looked very content sitting in the sunlight. Already some rest had done him well.

“Haldir,” She asked. “Have you rested well so far?”

“Yes I have. Before I woke up I had a dream about something from my past.”

“Oh,” Galadriel said with affectionate interest. It was no often that Haldir spoke of his past.

“I dreamed about a time when Orophin was still an elflings and Rumil; he hadn’t even been born yet. My mother was there as well. It was a good dream but I was happy to wake and see that my brother’s were with me.”

Galadriel sighed happily. Good dreams were a sign of a strong spirit, in her opinion anyway. But she wondered if the floor was a good place for Haldir. “Are you sure you are comfortable there? Maybe it would be better if you got back into bed.”

“I would but after spending six weeks sleeping on a cavern floor I just cannot get used to a bed.”

Galadriel wasn’t going to nag him; if Haldir was more comfortable on the floor than that is where he would remain. However, she was surprised to hear that Haldir was already aware of the estimated time he spent in captivity.

“So I take it that your brothers informed you of all that transpired since you left Lothlorien.”

“Well, I don’t know if they told me everything but a lot of what they did tell me answered any questions that I had. But when Rumil told me that the search for Legolas and I was about six weeks I couldn’t believe it.”

“What do you mean?”

Haldir took a somber breath and reflected for a moment before speaking again. “I couldn’t believe that was all it had been…just six weeks.” Haldir could feel his heart speed up, almost as if he was going to have a claustrophobic attack. But it wasn’t his surroundings that brought on his discomfort, it was his memories.

“There was no way to tell if it was night or day in that place. We were deep underground and there was nothing to do but work and sleep. It wasn’t long before it all blended together and life became blurred.”

Haldir pulled his knees to his chest and let the silence fill the room. His attention was focused upon the scene outside of his window. Very peaceful really and it appeared as even the sunlight itself played with the leaves. But he could feel Galadriel’s eyes upon him and the weight of severity fell upon him.

“Galadriel, something weighs heavily on your mind, I can tell.”

“Haldir Thranduil has commanded that we are to leave as soon as possible. He is furious and holds me responsible for what has happened. He says that Legolas is defiled.“

Haldir’s face went pale and a chill so strong that it shook his entire frame ran through his body. Galadriel did not expect such a reaction and she worried that something was physically wrong with Haldir.

“Then Thranduil knows; he knows…” Tears formed in Haldir’s eyes and he dropped his head in shame. “Legolas was defiled but not by the captivity but by the captors…Legolas was rapped.”

No amount of emotional strengthening could have prepared Galadriel for what Haldir had just reveled to her. For a moment she was unable to breathe and a pained cry left her mouth. In that moment, everything made horrible sense; Thranduil’s anger and his words. It all hit her with the force of a thousand blows and tears began to fall from her eyes.

Haldir noticed that Galadriel was crying but once he had begun talking he could not stop himself. He recounted the events that had led to him and Legolas being separated and how Legolas had only wanted to rescue him. But his actions angered his captors and so they punished him in the worst way imaginable.


“Oh Haldir,” Her voice was muffled by her sobs. “If only I had sent more guards with you mayhap none of this would have ever happened.”

“Galadriel, there…there is something else I need to tell you…”

“What is it Haldir…what?” Something about Haldir’s words was different for his voice sounded of fear. She had never heard him sound this way before.

“I did something…something terrible…I…oh Galadriel please don’t hate me.” In that moment, Haldir shattered and cried like a frightened child.

Galadriel, like a mother, opened her arms and held Haldir to her breast. She stroked his hair and whispered reassurances to him. She told him that there was nothing that he could possibly do that could ever make her hate him. She kept repeating that to him, waiting for him to gain enough courage to tell her what he had wanted to.

“I ki…killed him. I killed the man who violated Legolas.”

Galadriel nearly stopped breathing, her body trembled and she couldn’t form a single thought. Her arms instinctively held Haldir to her tighter. If ever there was a moment where he needed her the most, this was most certainly it.

“I didn’t mean to…I was so angry…I killed in cold blood.”

“You were only doing what you had to in order to survive.” Galadriel stated fiercely for the blood of warriors ran within her veins. She knew, just as any warrior did, that when people are pushed to their limits in the struggle to survive people often did things that they came to regret later. But it was that same regret that set warriors apart from murderers.

“Haldir, listen to me,” She said as she cupped his face in her hands and looked him straight in the eye. “In the end you are the only one who can determine if you can make peace with this or not. You may think yourself a villain but would a true villain regret his deeds? One whose soul is so dark can kill and not feel the regret nor shed the tears that you have now.”

He inhaled deeply before lowering his head into Galadriel’s lap. She stroked his hair and rocked him gently as a mother trying sooth away the nightmares of her child.

“Whatever happens I will be there to support you no matter what.” She whispered to him.

The atmosphere in the room had returned to that of calm and quiet; gone was the tension and even Haldir had become very sedate. It gave Galadriel time to reflect on the past and she came to the conclusion that she owed it to Haldir to tell him what her true intentions had been.

“Haldir there is something I have to tell you.” Haldir merely hummed his acknowledgement

“I knew it would have been wise to have sent a larger escort with you and Legolas but I sent the two of you alone deliberately. The truth is, you see, I wanted you and Legolas to have some time alone together. I wanted that because…because-“

“You knew that Legolas harbored feelings for me.” It was a statement that surprised Galadriel very much.

“You mean…you knew?”

“No, but in a moment of anger mixed with fear he told me and I didn’t know what to say or to do. I chose to reject him but Legolas clung to his feelings for me; even when he had the chance to escape he wouldn’t abandon me.”

Galadriel inhaled deeply and released a heavy sigh, it seemed as though this emotional pool went deeper and deeper. Yet there seemed to be no direction back and no indication of where to go next.

“My lady,” Haldir said finally breaking the silence.

“Yes, Haldir, what is it?” Galadriel’s tone was one of a supportive nature.

“I’m so tired.”

For the first time in what seemed like a century, Galadriel felt her lips turn upward into a smile and her voice emit a giggle. It was obvious to her that this situation was not yet over but what Haldir needed was rest and just like her love and support, Galadriel was happy to give him that as well.

Haldir could feel his body begin to succumb to sleep but his mind had not yet relinquished thinking. So he and his Lorien kin were to leaves as soon as possible; those were the orders of the king.

/Legolas/ Haldir thought mournfully /the two of us just keep getting separated/ It was the last conscious though he had before he fell into sleep.

********

A new day had dawned in Mirkwood but not all felt the hope of what a new day promised. Legolas stood by his window and stared at the world beyond. The songs of the birds and the whispers of the trees were dead to him and the sunlight held no joy either. All Legolas could here were the words his father had spoken the day before-ruined-defiled. It hurt to hear those words in his mind just as much as it had when his father had spoken them allowed.

A lock of hair fell in front of his face and when Legolas lifted a hand to push it aside he caught a glimpse of his wrist. The bruises were nearly gone but the memory of their reception had lost no potency. Cold sweats formed on Legolas’ brow as he was once again assaulted by the unwanted memories.

Legolas wrapped his arms around himself and fought with all he had to not collapse to the floor. To do that would certainly cause his family to swarm all over him and that was the last thing he wanted. He felt dirty and the walls to his chambers felt so confining and Legolas felt like he couldn’t breathe-he had to get out. He wanted to go someplace where he could be alone and not have to think about his troubles.

********

Rumil and Orophin were happy to see that Haldir had awakened with a healthy appetite. Indeed, he had made short work of the breakfast soup and bread the two brothers had brought for him. But then again, after weeks of nothing but crusty, old bread and dirty water even the most humble soup seemed like a magnificent feast.

“Keep eating like this and we will be out of here in no time.” Rumil said with a smile. By now it was common knowledge among the Lorien elves that they were to leave Mirkwood as soon as possible. No formal explanation had been given to them but many speculated that their welcome had been shortened by Thranduil. Rumors, some of which Rumil and Orophin had heard, flew about Thranduil’s anger at the Galadrim over the failed protection of prince Legolas.

Even so, both Rumil and Orophin were eager to return to their home in the golden wood and more eager still to return with their brother. Haldir himself wished to return but there was a part of him that was not yet ready to relinquish his responsibilities as Legolas’ guardian. What if Legolas still needed him? If so then Haldir felt willing to do what ever he could to help Legolas heal but he wondered if such a thing would be possible. As Legolas’ father, Thranduil was the only one who decided who was allowed near his son and who wasn’t.

Haldir had no idea how things would turn out but the forest of Mirkwood had instilled a sense of optimism within him. Ever since he had awakened that morning the trees had been inviting him to come outside. Haldir longed to feel the sun on his face and to be surrounded by the fresh air. It would most definitely take his mind away from his concerns for a while

*********

Haldir had not yet regained his full strength but he did not let that stop him. When he stepped outside of the Mirkwood palace he looked at the blue sky as though he were seeing it for the first time. Haldir let the rays of the sun warm him, let the wind blow through his hair and let the tranquility of it all drown out the nightmare the he had so recently been liberated from. The confines of the mine where he endured captivity were fading from his mind; even the memory and fear of his near execution was becoming only that-a memory. Feeling confident that Haldir was doing just fine on his own, Rumil and Orophin excused their selves so that there brother might have some time alone to explore.

Haldir took in every detail of the Mirkwood realm. This was indeed the mighty forest he, up until now, had only ever heard about. The oak trees that made up this ancient forest were not as grand as the golden trees of Lorien but they had grandeur of a different kind. These trees embodied endurance and the strength to shine in any darkness. Haldir even found his way to the stables. There, he was happy to be reunited with his horse and was glad to see that the animal had made a full recovery. The horse was clearly happy to see that its master had returned to it.

As Haldir explored further he came upon the area where the now liberated humans were being sheltered. They too, were feeling the benefits of healthy food and a healthy environment. In due time emissaries from the realms of men would come to take the people home. Home, Haldir once again envisioned Lothlorien and its golden canopy; already he could see the golden leaves floating in the air as the wind played with them. But his attention was called back to green oak trees. Their rustling leaves sounded almost like some kind of message.

“What is it?” Haldir whispered as he placed his hand upon the bark of a particularly old tree. “Is their something you wish to tell me?”

Haldir’s reverie was interrupted by a sudden embrace. Haldir nearly jumped out of his skin with surprise but then he was able to see who had sneaked up on him; it was Turin. The former fighting companions embraced like old friends and both were glad to see that each was recovering well. To add to the joy, two other friends emerged; Namel and Gimli. Both were doing well and Gimli was quick to tell that he had kinsfolk living in the mountains east of Mirkwood; they would be coming for him very soon for they were eager to retrieve their long lost comrade. Namel, who once appeared as a frightened girl now stood as a proud young woman in the sun light. In the few days of her new found freedom she had begun to recover her voice yet her eyes still did the majority of her communication.

Overall the three of them had endured many years in captivity but had come through with their spirits intact. Also, with a steady stream of good meals, their bodies would thrive as well. But their reunion was not complete for there was one still missing; Legolas. Turin, Namel and especially Gimli wanted to know how Legolas was fairing but sadly, Haldir had no answers for them.

********

“Legolas,” Elgalad said as he knocked on the door to his little brother’s room. “Legolas I’m coming in.” Elgalad pushed the doors open and entered; he noticed right away that Legolas was not in bed.

“Legolas are you here?” Getting no answer Elgalad began to search the room. Last night Legolas had been left alone to sleep and now Elgalad began to feel that it was a mistake. Now it appeared that Legolas had wandered off. Most likely he had sneaked out through one of the many secret exits.

Elgalad left to inform his parents as well as his older brother of Legolas’ disappearance. Elgalad made haste for he knew that the sooner he told his father the sooner his father would be finished chastising him and he could be off searching that much quicker.

********

Haldir didn’t know why he had chosen the path on which he now walked but he felt relaxed none the less. He had left Turin, Namel and Gimli behind some time ago to continue on his walk. He enjoyed spending time with his three companions but he had felt bad for not being able to tell them anything about Legolas.

Once again Haldir found himself debating the future. Yes, he missed his home in Lorien but it didn’t feel right to just leave. Another side of him wondered if it would be at all possible to stay, at least until he was sure that Legolas would be alright. More mystifying still was when had Legolas’ wellbeing grown into something more than just that of a guardian/protectorate relationship? Why couldn’t he accept that Legolas was in the care of his family and just leave it at that?

Haldir had been so pre-occupied with his thoughts that he hadn’t paid attention to where he was going. When he finally did take a moment to look around he found himself in the midst of many trees. Haldir, being a stranger in this wood, had no idea where he was or which way to go. But the sound of trickling water seemed promising and Haldir, feeling a bit thirsty, headed in the direction of he sound.

When Haldir cleared the brush he found himself in the most stunning of places. In front of him was a pond with water so clear he could see straight to the bottom and it was surrounded by plants with white lotuses in bloom. There were waterfalls, small and large, that fell all around the edges of the pool and coming down directly from a gap in the canopy of trees was a shaft of sun light. Haldir had long heard tales of Mirkwood as being a place of fell creatures and darkness. But upon seeing this place of tranquility Haldir found such tales hard to believe.

The silence was broken by the sudden splashing of water. Haldir’s head snapped in the direction of the sound and saw that he was not alone. There, at the edge of the pool furthest from him was an elf hunched over weeping; it was Legolas.

For the moment, Haldir just stood their, he had no idea what to do. /What’s wrong/ He thought to himself. /I wanted to see him again didn’t I/

Legolas did nothing other than weep. If he was aware of Haldir’s presence he gave no sign of it. Haldir, still having no idea what to do, approached Legolas. He treaded carefully not wanting to alarm Legolas. But Legolas remained motionless; even when Haldir knelt down only a few feet away from him.

Haldir had come as close as he dared for he didn’t wish to unnerve Legolas in any way. Legolas was covered by a bulky robe and thus Haldir could not read his body language. There was no use in trying to read his facial expression either, Legolas’ head was hunched over and his face was hidden behind a curtain of wet, blonde locks.

Haldir was struck by a sudden fear, would Legolas fade still? Haldir had hoped that in the care of his family, Legolas could overcome his violation and recover. But now Haldir was not so certain. He knew that no matter how much care Legolas would receive, in the end, it would be up to his own will to live. Legolas might still fade and Haldir’s heart ached in a way it had never before. Was this to be the way he would remember Legolas, hunched over and Broken.

“What’s wrong, why do you just sit there?” Legolas’ voice breaking the silence was not nearly as surprising as the sound of his voice. It sounded cold and hollow and Haldir was very taken aback this.

“Aren’t you going to do anything, offer comfort or is my defiled body too filthy for you to touch?” Legolas turned his tear-stained face and Haldir gasped out loud. Legolas’ eyes were red from crying, dark circles showed prominently under his eyes and his cheeks were flushed.

Haldir’s first instinct was to run of away from this person who was grasped by madness. But he held his ground, his heart told him that behind the bitter words and the angry tears was the Legolas that he had come to care for.

“You were right about me Haldir, you were right not to want me.”

“Legolas what are you talking about?”

Legolas sprang forward and collided against Haldir. He fisted his hands in the collar of Haldir’s shirt and clung madly. It took all of Haldir’s upper body strength to stand against Legolas’ sudden attack. He wanted to tell Legolas to stop but he was too gripped by shock to form words.

“I acted like a filthy whore, so desperate for your touch, you were right to push me away, I deserved your punishment.” Haldir could feel the grip on his collar intensify and hot tears from Legolas’ eyes fell onto his face.

“Just like I deserved what ‘he’ did to me.” Legolas’ face went ghostly pale and his body began to shake; Haldir could feel it.

“If I had never done anything to attract his attention, if I hadn’t…if I hadn’t tempted him by opposing him then…then…oh it’s my fault!” Legolas let go of Haldir’s collar and backed away to where he was originally sitting.

“I am ruined…I feel so disgusting.” He wrapped his arms around himself and hunched over his knees. He began to cry and rock back and fourth. What was before Haldir was not Legolas, but a defeated and broken shadow of what had once been a noble and proud prince. The image began to blur as tears welled up within Haldir’s eyes.

Next Chapter: Healing and Decisions

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