melme Colle (or: hidden love)

Chapter ten Returning home

Elladan and Elrohir screamed in glee as they saw their home come into view. Their horses felt and shared their happiness and eagerly accelerated.

Erestor smiled as well and patted his horses’ flanks. “Well, Voronwië, we are home.” His voice carried his eternal gratitude and his eyes were filled with love. Imladris was his home in more ways than one. He stopped and jumped off.
Yulë cocked her head at the action but Voronwië already came forward, resting his head on Erestor. They had done this so often in the past he knew his master’s routines.
Erestor closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the land welcoming him back.
yelpyelped softly when he felt something touch his lower back and he grinned after turning around. “Aiya, Yule, forgive me.” He caressed her nose and smiled. “We have reached Imladris, and I enjoy hearing the welcome.”
The horse shook her head. Sometimes the elf was a bit weird, but it was his prerogative to do so and she allowed him to walk himself, though she didn’t like it one bit. In her opinion Erestor was too weak to be walking unaided. Voronwië shared her views and soon Erestor found himself flanked by the horses.

He smiled fondly at their affection and care and placed a hand on each of them, leaning a little on them both. He frowned when he felt the sweat on his stallion’s fur. Have the books been too heavy??
Elrond grinned and moved his horse closer to Erestor. “Do not worry about it, Erestor. He’ll get some extra food and attention and he’ll be happier than before, you know that.” He shrugged. “Besides, I am sure he would have thrown them off if they had been too heavy, even if they are yours.”
Erestor grinned. “Aye, he is very loyal.”

He rested his head on Voronwië and sighed. He was happy but a feeling of pain and emptiness remained. “How is Legolas?”
Elrond’s eyes saddened and he sighed. “No change yet, but we’ve only just arrived. Give it time.”
Erestor nodded.

He forced himself to focus on his horses. “Well, Voronwië, we will have to show our new friend around.”
Voronwië neighed in anticipation. He loved roaming the valley, with or without Erestor.
The elf laughed and shook his head. He settled his gaze on Yule. “Don’t you let him talk you into sneaking out. He always walks away and gets himself into trouble.” He grinned. “And then Elrond has to heal him again.”
Yule threw the other horse a shocked look. `Do not dare to trouble him!`
Voronwië stoically stepped forward.

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Glorfindel, the twins and Celeborn spend a lot of their time helping everybody settle in. The twins especially were pleased to see so many Imladrian elves remained.

Celeborn smiled fondly at them. “If they really wanted to leave, they would have done so before your departure to Mirkwood, Elladan. I think they were awaiting the outcome of our meeting.”
Elrohir grinned. “Aye, they are all unpacking.” His eyes twinkled in delight, which grew when he saw his favourite soldiers walk closer. Celeborn’s smile warmed and he shook hisd asd as the twins rorwaorward, happily hugging them.
Haldir frowned but had no choice but to allow the hug. Orophin and Rumil happily returned it and saved their brother more squishing.

Celeborn smiled at Haldir. “Still not used to it, I see.”
Haldir shrugged. “I don’t think I ever will.” His eyes had that certain look and Celeborn frowned, wondering what troubled him.
Haldir smiled, realising Celeborn had already picked up on his troubles. He sighed. “It’sn. Hn. He’s in love but he i doi doing anything to win him.”
Celeborn grinned. “Let him be, Haldir. Orn han has never been the one to be rushed, you know that.”

He placed a calming and understanding hand on the warrior’s shoulder. “How are things going with Glorfindel? Do you manage to divide the work?”
Haldir nodded. “Aye, Glorfindel, I and Mirkwood’s Captain will take equal parts in leading and training the warriors, though for the time being we will take our orders from him.” He shrugged. “He knows Imladris and her defences best.”
Celeborn nodded. “And he will take orders from me.”

That news widened Haldir’s eyes and the others, who by now had joined them, gasped in shock.
Elrohir cocked his head. “What about ata?”
Celeborn smiled. “Your father has had enough of ruling, ionníon. The three of us, Thranduil, your father and I have decided I shall rule Imladris with their help.” He smiled warmly. “But if you see it fit to take over, you are more than welcome to do so.”
Elladan shook his head. “Nay, we’d only make a mess of things. And with Erestor’s help you are more than capable of guiding us all.”
Celeborn inclined his head at the compliment but frowned when he saw Orophin’s expression.
The warrior shrugged. “I’m just thinking that idleness doesn’t become well with Lord Elrond, my lord. He needs to do something or he’ll go crazy.”
Celeborn nodded. “Quite true, but for the time being he has Legolas and Erestor to worry about, for which I am very grateful. And in the meantime we might find him a hobby.”
The twins nodded. “Aye, we will take his mind of his gloomy thoughts. We don’t want him to sail.” They leaned against Celeborn. “Do you miss nona?”
Celeborn pulled them closer and nodded. “Of course I do, I always will. The two of us have shared so much, but it was time for us to part. Come, let us go inside. You will have to aid me these first few days.”

The twins groaned but followed; they would willingly suffer the paperwork if they could spend more time with their grandfather.
Haldir grinned when Orophin dashed off, eager to spend some more time with Elrond. Now that the Peredhel was staying he would make sure it was forever. Haldir pulled Rumil along, needing to talk to him.

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Thranduil growled and stood, leaving Legolas’ bedside and walked to the window. Why wouldn’t his son wake up? What had happened?

He turned a little when the door opened and he smiled grimly at Erestor. “Counsellor.”
Erestor inclined his head. He had come here to hopefully strengthen Legolas enough, but how could he do that with Thranduil present?

He smiled warmly. “Lord Glorfindel wishes to speak with you.” He looked at the bed. “I will keep an eye on Legolas.” Demonstrating his point he silently sat down.
Thranduil’s eyes narrowed minutely, seeing Erestor lie, but he sighed and left, not calling his bluff. /Erestor is right. I shouldn’t be there, my tension is too great and it might affect Legolas badly. O what is wrong him, Elbereth? Please save him./

He found he could not go to his rooms and he headed to the training grounds instead. He needed to let this tension out. He frowned when he saw nobody there. He looked around and scanned the surroundings, but was unable to detect anyone. “Where is everyone?”
A chuckle from his left made him turn and he widened his eyes when he saw Glorfindel come closer. “Exploring the valley and patrolling the borders.”

His eyes filled with sympathy when he saw Thranduil’s state. It was obvious the other was worried for his son and had forgone sleep, meals and even some baths. “You came here to spar?”
Thranduil nodded. “Aye, this tension needs a way out.” He smiled gratefully when Glorfindel removed his cloak and handed him a sword.
“I can do wiome ome exercise myself.”

They sparred for some hours and found they learned a lot from each other. Glorfindel was pleased, for it meant their men would learn from each other as well. But he was getting tired and could see Thranduil was losing attention as well.

He signalled a stop. “We are tiring and should stop, lest we injure each other.” He saw the longing look and smiled warmly. “I’m going to inspect the cabins after I’ve cleaned up. Feel free to join me.”
Thranduil was tempted to decline the offer, needing to stay close to his son, but on the other hand he realised he should go. Maybe if he talked to Legolas about Imladris, it would help? He nodded and smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Glorfindel. Where do we meet?”
Glorfindel grinned. “At the stables, and bring your weapons. Perhaps we will have time to spar later.” He twirled and ran back.

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Erestor gently caressed Legolas’ hair, silently begging the Prince to wake up. He didn’t turn but heard the twins and Gimli enter.

The Dwarf sighed and sat down. “It’s not right to see him like that.”
Erestor nodded. “Aye, he should be roaming the place.”
Elladan took Erestor into an embrace, sensing the other’s turmoil. “Erestor, Gimli told us he heard Legolas talk to Mandos.”
Gimli nodded. “And don’t you say it wasn’t there, for it was. I may not have elveneyes, but I can trust them none the less.”
Erestor smiled warmly. “I know, masDwarDwarf. And I believe you.” He sighed. “But it doesn’t explain why he is like this.”
Elrohir sighed. He hated thinking it, and he hated saying it even more, but he had to. “Is it possible only his body is alive, and his soul already dwells with Mandos?”
Erestor shrugged. “I don’t know, pen-neth. I don’t think so. It’s never happened before.”
Elladan sighed. “But doesn’t the bond affect things?”
Erestor shook his head, but he did doubt. What if Elladan was right? He looked at Legolas.
Gimli frowned. “What bond?”

Erestor silenced the twins who were about to scold Gimli and tell him lies. He held Legolas’ hand. “Do you remember what happened in Moria?”
Gimli nodded and his eyes narrowed, catching on. “He -did- die!”
Erestor nodded. “Elrond challenged Mandos and claimed him back.”
Gimli snuffed. “But he needed life-force to do that. And he can’t give his own for he has to channel it.”
Erestor smiled at Gimli’s show of knowledge. He nodded. “Aye, he used mine. And his swaying is probably the result of that. His soul remembers being dead.”
Gimli nodded. So much more made sense now. But he did frown. “One thing.” Erestor cocked his head and Gimli smiled. “Why did you do it? Does it not stop you from finding a mate? And why keep silent? Laddy would want to know.”
Elladan kicked the Dwarf, who jumped up and uttered some curses, making Elrohir grin.
Erestor shook his head. “Silence!”

He sighed. Why would he stay silent any longer? And the Dwarf could keep the twins under control, he knew that.

“I had a mate once.”
Elladan and Elrohir widened their eyes. This was unexpected.
Erestor closed his eyes and sighed. “I was still a young scribe at Ereinion’s court and it was my greatest wish to become a counsellor.” His eyes filled with tears as the past came back. “One day he told me I couldn’t do this. That I had to choose between him and the papers.” He shrugged. “Obvious which I choice, isn’t it?”
Elrohir grabbed Erestor’s hand, needing the contact. “But that’s cruel. Why would anybdo tdo that to her mate?”
Erestor laughed a bitter laugh. “She was a he, Eir, ir, and had planned on getting married and starting a family. And as I am no female I could not give him a family and so I had to at least play the part.” He stood and glared. “Well, I refused!”

Suddenly his energy left him and he sagged down, resting his head on Lego che chest. Before he even realised it all his pain came out and he cried.
It worried the twins. They had never seen him cry. About to console him they were dragged back and they glared at the dwarf. Gimli answered it with a glare of his own. “He needs solitude right now. Come on, let’s make sure he has it.” He sighed. “There will be enough time to hold him later.” Reluctantly they followed him out.

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Legolas paced his room. He was feeling agitated. So much time had passed and still he felt his love for Erestor as strong as the day he died. It hadn’t grown less and neither had he forgotten the elf’s features, voice and skills. It made it hard for him to bear this. If only he was allowed to see Erestor, to watch him live. But he wasn’t.
He closed his eyes and wiped away fresh tears. He didn’t even know if Erestor was still amongst the living.

/How much time has passed?/ He couldn’t tell. He had tried counting time by the visits from the Valar, but they told him nothing. Not that he wasn’t grateful. It stopped him from going completely insane. But he had no way of telling hoch tch time passed between the visits. Could be minutes, could be years. /How long have I been here?/

And why didn’t they tell him anything? No matter how much he asked, they never answered his questions. Not even Nienna. He growled. Before meeting the Valië he had never known anyone that could talk this much and say so little.

He jumped when he turned and bumped into Mandos.
The Vala smiled. “You resemble a caged animal, Legolas.”
Legolas glared. “Small wonder. You forbid me to leave this room.” He snuffed. “You won’t even tell me anything about my friends. How are they doing? Is Erestor alive?” /Is he happy? Married? I hope so, he deserves to be happy. I hope Elladan told his other half what he did./
Mandos smiled inwardly at hearing the thought. He hadn’t held it possible but Legolas’ love for the counsellor had only grown. He felt guilty for keeping him in the dark, but he couldn’t geopardize things now.

He placed his hand on Legolas’ shoulder. “It is time.”
Legolas narrowed his eyes. “Time? Time for what?”
Mandos smiled. “Time to be reborn.” His smile widened. “It is always a pleasure to send someone back.”
Legolas’ heart fluttered in his chest. “Will my body be the same?”
Mandos nodded. “Aye. There will be no differences from before your journey here.”

He placed his hand on Legolas’ forehead. “It is time.”
The elf felt himself fade and being pulled towards… towards something. He was happI hoI hope I will remember everyone and find them back. Especially you, Erestor/

Mandos closed his eyes and his smile widened. He turned round and nodded. Instantly his wife and sister materialised. “His last thoughts were of Erestor.” He grinned. “Why am I not surprised?”
Nienna grinned. “It’s not over yet. Rest now, brother, for you have some straining hours ahead of you.”
He nodded, knowing what she referred to. His eyes shone with determination. “I will not fail him.” His voice was determined.

Translations:
Voronwië endurance
Yule see chapter 8

TBC