The Jewel of Mirkwood

Chapter 104

Haldir stood silently at the door to the stall staring in at the elf curled up in the corner on the hay pile. Legolas was clearly identifiable, his long blonde hair cascading over his shoulders, which shook with the cold. While it was clear that Legolas was asleep Haldir could tell his son’s slumber was fitful and disturbed by worrying dreams.

“Should I move him Captain? We are in need of the space.” The blonde haired guard who had discovered Legolas went to climb into the stall to wake the prince but was stopped by Haldir’s hand.

“Nay fill the other stalls then put what remains of the horses into the fields, then continue on with your duties. I will deal with this.” The guard bowed understandingly at Haldir before disappearing out of the stable. The party had arrived almost an hour ago and while Haldir had been organizing rooms and shelter with Erestor for all the visitors to Imladris, Gildor the guard in charge of stabling the horses had come to him with a problem. That problem of course now lay before him muttering fitfully and shivering with the cold. With an ease and grace only seen in the eldest of trained warriors Haldir leapt the stall gate in a single hop and landed perfectly in the soft hay of Iest’s stall. The horse whinnied softly but Haldir calmed her with a gently pat to her side before he knelt down beside his son in the back of the stall.

“Legolas, wake up my son.” Haldir brushed a stray piece of hair from his son’s face watching with concern how Legolas’ face screwed up in fear as he began tossing more violently on the hay. Worried that Legolas was having a nightmare Haldir shook Legolas’ shoulders a little more forcefully to wake him. Haldir barely caught Legolas’ hand as he swung it up as if to strike out against his dream.

“No! I don’t want to die, go away you did this to me!” Legolas panted desperately afraid as he called out to no one. Instantly Haldir engulfed his son in a hug calming him as Legolas shook himself out of his slumber and back to the present.

”Shhhh Legolas, your Ada is here now.” Haldir soothed his hand down Legolas’ hair as his son shook terribly in his arms.

“Don’t let them do that to me Ada, I will bleed and die like she did.” Confused Haldir remained silent as Legolas continued sob incomprehensible sentences. With a soothing caress Haldir continued to rock his son in his arms before beginning to hum a soft gentle tune. It was a song he had once sung to Legolas when he was but a new babe in his arms, barely a few hours old. He had been tired and weak from the birth but Filgree had helped him to nurse his son to sleep with the song. It had been the first and last time he’d held Legolas before Thranduil had taken him from him. Haldir was forced to swallow his own tears as he held his son and continued to hum the soft tune. The song seemed to calm Legolas until his sobs were gentgentle whimpers against Haldir’s tunic.

“What is wrong my little golden light has Imladris made you so sad?” Legolas nodded against Haldir’s shoulder feeling as if he was an elfling again cuddled into Filgree’s chest having fallen from a tree and hurt himself. Filgree always spoke to him in elvish whenever things had turned bad the soft melodic tone of the elvish words soothing him and making him feel a little better.

“She is dead and they will do that to me too and I will die and never see Glorfindel or you or Ada again.” Haldir sighed softly as he heard Legolas choked explanation. Erestor had told him briefly what had happened to Gwendolyn and while he prayed for her soul he knew all to well what she had sacrificed for the life of her daughter. It was obviously Legolas was upset about it although like the others Haldir did not understand why.

“Shhh Legolas do not say such morbid things. The lady Gwendolyn suffered great complications in her pregnancy an unfortunate trait that has run in her family for centuries. She was prepared for it though and while Elrond helped her as best he could there was little that could have saved her. As it is she gave her life to save her daughters and we must make sure that as Taselion grows she understands that her mother loved her very much.”

“Taselion? They called her that?” Legolas smiled weakly having found out the name of his new niece. He had been so wrapped up in his own personal crisis he had not bothered to ask how the child was. Feeling a little guilty Legolas lowered his head to rest it back against Haldir’s shoulder taking comfort and warmth from his father, who he had missed terribly since first meeting him in Lorien.

“Aye in memory of your brother.” Legolas looked up sharply from Haldir’s tunic confused by what Haldir meant. Immediately Haldir realised his mistake and quietly cursed whatever valar was looking down upon him that evening. “You have not been told have you?” Legolas shook his head slowly not understanding what Haldir was saying. Sadly Haldir brushed his hand down Legolas’ cheek before gently taking hold of Legolas hand and holding it to his chest. “Talion is dead Legolas, he was killed taking a message to the lake town.” Haldir watched silently as the news began to sink in to Legolas. Legolas felt suddenly empty devoid of emotion like his heart had been ripped from his chest. He did not know why he cried, Talion and he had always hated one another, yet they had still been brothers and even in the darkest memories Legolas found small rays of happiness although they had been rare. Again Haldir pulled Legolas close to his chest as the youngster burst into tears for the second time. “Shhhh there is nothing you can do now Legolas, he has gone.” Trying to console his son Haldir again began to hum the tune he had before. The tune had become so familiar to him having sung it to himself for years to try and console his own guilt at having given up Legolas to Thranduil.

“No. It is all wrong. It was not supposed to be like this. All I wanted was an adventure a chance to prove myself to Ada.” Legolas no longer cared what he said, the pain he felt so heart breaking he was sure it would engulf him completely. Unable to control his emotions so bottled up Legolas spilled his emotions to Haldir. “I love him so much Haldir and it hurts to be away from him, it hurts to lie to him, it s sos so much. I don’t want to lie but I have to because I don’t belong here. I am trying so hard to make them like me but I can’t do it. They hate me, and they will hate my child. And now I will die like Gwendolyn and they will take my child and tell him bad things about me, turn him against me. And Ada will have no one when I am gone now that Talion is dead. I don’t want to be in love, I don’t want to be pregnant anymore I just want to go home and watch the horses like I used to.” Legolas was inconsolable as he sobbed his way through the unintelligible sentences that had just run free from his mouth. Unsure of where to start Haldir held Legolas shaking body against his own and willed what bond remained between them as father and son to transfer a little comfort between them. The transfer seemed to work and Haldir smiled as he felt Legolas relax against him.

“Now tell me what you are talking about Legolas, I do not understand.” Legolas sniffled against Haldir’s shoulder before sitting up a little to stare at his fathers deep green eyes. Legolas was tired of keeping his secret, and it didn’t seem to matter anymore who knew and who didn’t, it would all end badly anyway.

“My child will never know me. I will die and everyone here who hates me will turn him against me.” Haldir frowned but could not keep the smile off his face as Legolas pouted dramatically.

“Aye Legolas! What are you talking about! You will not become pregnant yet; you are far to close to your majority to be fully fertile. I was at least 100 years past my majority before I fell pregnant with you.” Haldir chuckled good naturedly confusing Legolas seriousness for an overreaction on the youngster’s behalf. “I have already told you, that you will not die like Gwendolyn because by the time it comes you will be strong enough to give birth. And what is this nonsense about them hating you?” Haldir smiled widely at his son but realization set in when Legolas shook his head determinedly tears of disbelief swimming in his eyes.

“You do not believe me do you?” Confused Haldir shrugged his shoulders as Legolas moved back from him to stare.

“I do not believe what exactly Legolas?” Haldir watched as Legolas wiped tears from his eyes before moving to his knees in front of his father.

“You don’t believe this.” Legolas bit his lip nervously as he pulled the sleeping robe up from his thighs to expose his stomach to the gaze of Haldir. Haldir could not suppress the horrified gasp that left his lips as he stared at Legolas’ belly, the skin stretched taunt over the large bump.

“By the valar you are pregnant.” Haldir could hardly whisper past his breathless shock as he reached tentatively out and pressed his hand lightly to Legolas’ swelled stomach almost in aw. It took only a moment before the shock turned to realization and so to did Haldir’s tone change. “What in Elbereth’s name were you doing at the borders! Surely Glorfindel did not allow this in your condition!” Legolas rolled his eyes and hastily pulled down the sleeping robe having batted his father’s hand away from his stomach in frustration.

“Glorfindel does not know.” Legolas bit his lip guiltily as again Haldir gasped in horror.

“You mean you have not told him yet! Legolas!” Haldir’s chastising tone didn’t help Legolas guilt and the younger elf glanced sadly down at where he was twirling his hands around in his lap.

“Ada, you don’t understand. I had to go to the borders to prove to them I was capable of being the husband that they want for Glorfindel. I need their trust Haldir, I want to fit in and I want my child to be loved like one of their own. I didn’t want to be a stupid wife, stuck at home waiting for him to return to me. I am a warrior Ada not some maiden fit for producing children and nothing else. If I had told him he wouldn’t have let me go and I can not bear the thought of them all laughing at me like I am nothing.” Legolas continued to twist his hands nervously in his lap desperately trying to hold back more of the tears that threatened to fall. “Besides Elrond said to me that you were at the borders until the last month and I though if I was careful it would not do any harm.” Legolas trailed off and closed his eyes guiltily as he heard Haldir sigh heavily.

“I did not know I was pregnant Legolas, until I was at least six months into pregnancy and by then there didn’t seem much point in me returning. Besides I was stubborn and stupid to risk your life for my own gain and I should have listened to Lord Celeborn. I went through hell carrying you Legolas, and there were times I only just managed to get away unscathed during attacks because of my girth. I was foolishly naive and young, do not repeat the mistakes I have made no matter how important the outcome is.” Legolas sighed heavily the tears he’d kept bottled up now flowing freely down his cheeks yet again. Haldir sighed in reply as he watched Legolas break down again before he moved forward to engulf Legolas in a hug. “Shhhh Legolas I understand your dilemma but their acceptance is not worth risking the life of your child. Glorfindel loves you for who you are and I am sure he does not care at all what everyone else thinks of you. There will be time enough for you to prove yourself but now is a time for you to concentrate on your child and looking after yourself.” Legolas sniffled and nodded understandingly finally feeling a little better with such wise council from his father. “Now tell me who else knows of this?” Haldir put his hand to Legolas stomach rubbing softly as Legolas snuggled into his father’s chest.

“I do.” Legolas and Haldir nearly jumped out of their skin as a voice replied from above. Both elves glanced up to see Elladan leaning on the stall door an amused smile on his face.

“Elladan!” Legolas held his arms open as he beckoned his friend into the stall. Just as easily as Haldir had Elladan leapt into the stall and sat down easily next to Legolas who instantly snuggled into Elladan’s arms.

“How long have you known?” Haldir smiled as his son took comfort in his friends arms, Elladan’s hand mirroring the gently rubbing that Haldir had only a few moments ago had also done.

“Three days. I found out the day before we met you at the ford.” Elladan smiled warmly across at Haldir who nodded his head in understanding.

“Does anyone else apart from Elladan know Legolas?” Legolas shook his head in reply before remembering about the young elf maiden he’d first spoken with in the kitchens.

“Oh apart from the maiden in the kitchen, she told me where to get the belt that would hide my stomach but she promised me that she wouldn’t speak of it.” Legolas bit his lip as he looked cautiously from Elladan to Haldir both of them dubiously thinking. After a few moments silence Haldir looked to Elladan in question.

“Well you can not hide that swell for much longer Legolas, it is not good to for the child to hold yourself in so you must tell Glorfindel soon. Where is Glorfindel now Elladan?” Legolas frowned at his Ada but refrained from arguing already knowing that what Haldir spoke of was the truth. The belt he had been wearing was becoming far too tight and was hurting him more than it prevented pain. Plus Legolas was sure that he would have to move back in with Glorfindel now that Imladris was full of visitors and injured.

“That is what I was coming to find you for. Father has called a meeting at lunch to discuss the situation with the men from Gondor, he is eager to remove the men from the house especially now with Thranduil here and in such a temper. We have all been asked to attend. At present Glorfindel is looking for Legolas. It seems Erestor has moved you back into your rooms.” Legolas swallowed nervously as he looked to Haldir for guidance. For a moment Haldir furrowed his brow in thought seemingly weighing up the alternatives in his mind.

“I do not think this is the best time to tell Glorfindel of the pregnancy. There is a lot happening in the house and it is best that his full attention is focused on the decisions that have to be made. We will have to conceal this for another week until the men have left and things have calmed down again, but you must be careful Legolas and under no circumstances are you to take to the borders again. I don’t ose ose you have been examined by a healer since your conceiving have you?” Legolas shook his head; a little relived that telling his husband about their child had been momentarily postponed. Haldir rolled his eyes dramatically his fatherly concern for his son’s health clearly his top priority.

“I could not risk them spreading the news should they examine me.” Haldir nodded understandingly but furrowed his brow in thought.

“Yes but we need to make sure you are healthy Legolas and that the baby is progressing as it should.” Legolas squirmed uncomfortably on the hay only now realizing that he would have to endure all the physical inspections and questions that now came with having told his Ada about the baby.

“I could tell Elrohir. Ada and Filgree have been tutoring him in caring for Legolas when he becomes pregnant. My brother would not say anything and until the secret is out and my father can look at Legolas, surely my brother’s expertise is better than none at all.” Elladan looked hopefully at Haldir and Legolas. For a moment Haldir looked dubiously doubtful but at length he nodded in acceptance.

“Aye it is better than nothing I suppose and he is already trained in the techniques of a healer. I will allow it if Legolas is willing.” Haldir looked to his son and watched with amusement as Legolas blushed and continued to shift uncomfortably on the hay.

“Fine I agree but he has to promise not to tell and I do not want him touching my… things.” Both Haldir and Elladan chuckled as Legolas gestured embarrassed down to his lower regions.

“He will do nothing you don’t want him to Legolas but when Elrond finds out he will not spare you from such things, so prepare yourself to be touched.” Legolas growled low in his throat at the mere thought of Elrond prodding his private parts. Elladan stood from the floor and offered a hand down to Haldir who took it gratefully. Both elves turned to help Legolas up who was gingerly attempting to right himself from the floor. Haldir chuckled and shook his head at his son’s weak attempt at standing. “Come here and give us your hands, now keep you back straight so you don’t injure the babe.” On Haldir’s prompting Legolas accepted the hand up doing as his father told him as not to injure himself in the process. Outside it had grown light with the late morning sun and it was only then that the three of them realized how long they had been sitting in the stables.

“We better hurry and get ourselves dressed lunch will not be far away.” Haldir agreed heartily with Elladan and both elves leapt easily out of the stall leaving Legolas pouting dramatically with his hands on his hips still trapped inside the stall.

“If you have not noticed I can not get out so easily anymore. Plus Glorfindel will be waiting for me in our rooms; I cannot get changed with him there. Which brings to mind how in Elbereth’s name am I to sleep in the same bed as he and have him not find out about this!” Legolas ran his hand over his stomach frowning at his friend and father who were looking at him mildly amused over the stable wall.

“Do not worry Legolas I will think of something for tonight, but for now I will keep Glorfindel from your rooms while Elladan helps you dress. Now come along or we will be late.” Legolas found himself waddling like a duck from the stables as Elladan held the stall door open while Haldir held Iest back from escaping. Straightening his walk Legolas chastised himself for walking like Gwendolyn had. There was really no need to waddle, for he was not that large at all but he had forgotten himself for a moment and vowed not to do it again. “Come along Legolas!” At his fathers urging Legolas quickened his steps and followed both elves out into the sunshine of the courtyard. There was no telling how all of this would work out but Legolas felt at least a little better for having the sound guidance of his father to steer him in the right path………..

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>