Sex, Drugs, and Orcish Theatre
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,027
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
43
Views:
2,027
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Consoled
Chapter 10
"Haldir's shrieking," said Legolas, mildly concerned. He was smoking a pipe and reclining on the ground. Aragorn had wandered off to see if he could find something worth killing and cooking to prove he was a manly man.
"Here's hoping he's in excruciating pain," said Kalina, building a fire.
"Think we should go check on him?" Legolas was feeling mildly guilty that he had neglected Haldir. It would be ideal if Haldir and Kalina could stop trying to kill each other. That would make for interesting group sex. He put down his pipe and grabbed his bow and quiver.
"Meh. It might be funny," said Kalina, getting the fire going. She grabbed her bag and produced a torch. It wasn't dark yet but she reckoned that light would be useful to get a good look at Haldir naked so she could mock his genitals. She lit the torch then the pair headed off towards the stream.
Haldir's eyes were screwed shut with fear and humiliation as the slimy creature had his way with the near catatonic elf. Sméagol was too intent on elvish violation to notice the flickering torch that was headed their way.
"Oi!!! THAT'S MY GIMP!!!!" Legolas was enraged. He had no objection to Haldir being a slut and in fact encouraged it. It was a great way to meet new and willing playmates. However what was occurring here was clearly not right. He grabbed his bow and fired a few arrows into the water.
Kalina, meanwhile, was torn between doubling up in hysterical laughter and indulging her violent urges telling her to kill that thing assaulting Haldir. Bloodlust won in the end. Kalina grabbed her dagger, pulled off her cloak and charged, screaming battle cries in Quenya.
"NO!!! Nasssty elveses spoiling Smeagol's pleasure! Gollum, gollum!!" wailed Sméagol, panicking. Kalina jumped into the water, flailing her knife. Sméagol hissed at her, then whispered to Haldir, "we shall see you later, precioussss... oh yes," then ducked under water.
"MOTHERFUCKER!!!! He got away!!" screamed Kalina, diving under to try and spot her prey. It was too dark and Kalina was slowed by her armor. She emerged from the water and waded to the edge of the pool and crawled out.
"You alright?" asked Legolas, helping a shivering Haldir out of the water.
"Freezing his balls off if the size of them is anything to go by," muttered Kalina vaguely. She actually found herself reluctant to verbally brutalize Haldir at the present. "What the fuck was that, anyway?" she asked.
"I don't know... it just emerged from the water and grabbed me and..." Haldir trailed off into a series of sobs.
"Here. Take this and shut him up," said Kalina, picking up her cloak and handing it to Legolas. "I'm going to dry off and find Aragorn." Kalina left Legolas cradling a sobbing Haldir in his arms and headed off back to camp.
Legolas draped Kalina's purple cloak around Haldir's shoulders and hugged him. "You saved me," he uttered in-between sobs. Legolas picked up Kalina's torch.
"Want to go somewhere quiet?" offered Legolas, stroking Haldir's damp and tangled hair. He nodded, looking gratefully at the prince. With one arm around Haldir's shoulders Legolas guided Haldir to a small clump of trees a small distance from the camp site. He sat Haldir down on a fallen tree trunk and set about building a fire. Once it was blazing he sat down beside Haldir and kissed him on the side of his head.
"Dwarf liquor?" offered Legolas, producing a small hip flask of the amber alcoholic booze and offering it to Haldir. He grabbed the flask and downed it in two massive gulps.
"That was the most hideous experience of my life. I don't think I'm ever going in water on my own again," moaned Haldir, finding the liquor taking the edge off of his terror. "Got any more alcohol? That was nice."
"Only back at the camp and not much. It's expensive stuff imported from the Lonely Mountain based on a recipe apparently passed down from Durin himself," said Legolas as Haldir leaned his head on Legolas's shoulder.
"Never mind," sighed Haldir, moving in a little closer. Legolas pulled him onto his lap and held him. Haldir burst into tears again.
Seeing Haldir in such a pathetic state made Legolas feel empowered and turned on. The fact he was mostly naked was also a good thing. Legolas slipped a hand under the cloak and stroked Haldir's back in a more than just comforting way.
"Mmm... don't suppose you're any good at back massages?" asked Haldir.
"Here, give me that." Legolas removed Kalina's cloak from Haldir's shoulders and spread it on the ground. "Lie face down on that and I'll see what I can do about easing those taught muscles of yours." Haldir stretched out while Legolas removed the more cumbersome elements of his ensemble, then straddled Haldir's lower back, leaning forward and starting to work on Haldir's shoulders.
"Mmm... go down," requested Haldir.
"My pleasure." Legolas, rolling Haldir over.
"That's NOT what I... oooh... oh yes..." Slowly but surely Legolas's attentiveness to Haldir's anatomy allowed Haldir to relax and gasp with pleasure
"Haldir's shrieking," said Legolas, mildly concerned. He was smoking a pipe and reclining on the ground. Aragorn had wandered off to see if he could find something worth killing and cooking to prove he was a manly man.
"Here's hoping he's in excruciating pain," said Kalina, building a fire.
"Think we should go check on him?" Legolas was feeling mildly guilty that he had neglected Haldir. It would be ideal if Haldir and Kalina could stop trying to kill each other. That would make for interesting group sex. He put down his pipe and grabbed his bow and quiver.
"Meh. It might be funny," said Kalina, getting the fire going. She grabbed her bag and produced a torch. It wasn't dark yet but she reckoned that light would be useful to get a good look at Haldir naked so she could mock his genitals. She lit the torch then the pair headed off towards the stream.
Haldir's eyes were screwed shut with fear and humiliation as the slimy creature had his way with the near catatonic elf. Sméagol was too intent on elvish violation to notice the flickering torch that was headed their way.
"Oi!!! THAT'S MY GIMP!!!!" Legolas was enraged. He had no objection to Haldir being a slut and in fact encouraged it. It was a great way to meet new and willing playmates. However what was occurring here was clearly not right. He grabbed his bow and fired a few arrows into the water.
Kalina, meanwhile, was torn between doubling up in hysterical laughter and indulging her violent urges telling her to kill that thing assaulting Haldir. Bloodlust won in the end. Kalina grabbed her dagger, pulled off her cloak and charged, screaming battle cries in Quenya.
"NO!!! Nasssty elveses spoiling Smeagol's pleasure! Gollum, gollum!!" wailed Sméagol, panicking. Kalina jumped into the water, flailing her knife. Sméagol hissed at her, then whispered to Haldir, "we shall see you later, precioussss... oh yes," then ducked under water.
"MOTHERFUCKER!!!! He got away!!" screamed Kalina, diving under to try and spot her prey. It was too dark and Kalina was slowed by her armor. She emerged from the water and waded to the edge of the pool and crawled out.
"You alright?" asked Legolas, helping a shivering Haldir out of the water.
"Freezing his balls off if the size of them is anything to go by," muttered Kalina vaguely. She actually found herself reluctant to verbally brutalize Haldir at the present. "What the fuck was that, anyway?" she asked.
"I don't know... it just emerged from the water and grabbed me and..." Haldir trailed off into a series of sobs.
"Here. Take this and shut him up," said Kalina, picking up her cloak and handing it to Legolas. "I'm going to dry off and find Aragorn." Kalina left Legolas cradling a sobbing Haldir in his arms and headed off back to camp.
Legolas draped Kalina's purple cloak around Haldir's shoulders and hugged him. "You saved me," he uttered in-between sobs. Legolas picked up Kalina's torch.
"Want to go somewhere quiet?" offered Legolas, stroking Haldir's damp and tangled hair. He nodded, looking gratefully at the prince. With one arm around Haldir's shoulders Legolas guided Haldir to a small clump of trees a small distance from the camp site. He sat Haldir down on a fallen tree trunk and set about building a fire. Once it was blazing he sat down beside Haldir and kissed him on the side of his head.
"Dwarf liquor?" offered Legolas, producing a small hip flask of the amber alcoholic booze and offering it to Haldir. He grabbed the flask and downed it in two massive gulps.
"That was the most hideous experience of my life. I don't think I'm ever going in water on my own again," moaned Haldir, finding the liquor taking the edge off of his terror. "Got any more alcohol? That was nice."
"Only back at the camp and not much. It's expensive stuff imported from the Lonely Mountain based on a recipe apparently passed down from Durin himself," said Legolas as Haldir leaned his head on Legolas's shoulder.
"Never mind," sighed Haldir, moving in a little closer. Legolas pulled him onto his lap and held him. Haldir burst into tears again.
Seeing Haldir in such a pathetic state made Legolas feel empowered and turned on. The fact he was mostly naked was also a good thing. Legolas slipped a hand under the cloak and stroked Haldir's back in a more than just comforting way.
"Mmm... don't suppose you're any good at back massages?" asked Haldir.
"Here, give me that." Legolas removed Kalina's cloak from Haldir's shoulders and spread it on the ground. "Lie face down on that and I'll see what I can do about easing those taught muscles of yours." Haldir stretched out while Legolas removed the more cumbersome elements of his ensemble, then straddled Haldir's lower back, leaning forward and starting to work on Haldir's shoulders.
"Mmm... go down," requested Haldir.
"My pleasure." Legolas, rolling Haldir over.
"That's NOT what I... oooh... oh yes..." Slowly but surely Legolas's attentiveness to Haldir's anatomy allowed Haldir to relax and gasp with pleasure