Fated to Love

Chapter Nine: Confusion, Realizations, and Shock
March 14th and early the 15th

The early morning light graced its presence upon Rivendell. It was slightly warmer than in previous days and the early March breeze blew lightly into the window.

Cassie's eyes began to flutter with the light. Her head ached, as she turned her head from side to side trying to wake from her deepened sleep. Her hearing was garbled and she thought she heard a deep voice. She opened her eyes to a blurred vision only seeing an outline of someone standing near her. He stood over her, speaking in a language she did not understand. She sat up quickly only to find that the pain in her side was the worst thing she had ever felt. She cried out as the it ripped through her body.

A gentle but strong hand reached around her and began to lay her down. Her heart pounded not knowing where she was or who was in the room with her. Her hearing began to clear and her vision as well. As the image cleared, she saw a man with long dark hair staring down at her with a smile that played across his fine features.

“Hello, Cassie. I am Lord Elrond, welcome to Rivendell,” he said kindly. Cassie looked at the man in horror. The Elf Lord, she thought. The well known healer of Middle Earth. Cassie became confused at this.

“How did I get here?” she said feeling alienated that she remembered nothing.

“You have been quite ill little one. I brought you here, early yesterday morning near death,” he told her honestly. Haldir sat up and was brushing her hair from her face as she spoke. Feeling his presence she looked at him.

“What happened to me? All I remember is falling asleep on the journey here. We were only three days from Helms Deep.” She looked panicked not remembering what happened.

“Cassie, you were poisoned in battle,” Elrond said looking at the girl and then to Haldir.

“No, I was not. I only had an infection. That was it. The healer told me that,” she said looking at them in disbelief.

The Elf Lord looked at her with eyes that spoke more serious than before. “No little one, it was poisoning. You gave us quite a scare including Haldir there. He has been with you since last night,” Elrond said looking nervously at Haldir.

She looked at both of them and got the feeling she was not being told everything. “Why do I get the feeling that something happened that was bad,” she said looking each of them. They were looking at each other with eyes that spoke something had truly happened.

“You do not remember anything do you, lirimaer?” Haldir said taking her hand in his.

“No, what did I do?” she asked not really wanting to know what went on.

Elrond rose and went to stand at the window to look out. A silence reigned in the room for a short time. Cassie was starting to get anxious. She fidgeted a little and Haldir continued to hold her around her waist. The Elf lord turned and looked at her.

“Cassie, I feel that it is too soon to tell you. I think that your mind should be clearer before putting it on you. You only just awakened and you are weak from the poison.” Cassie's face began to grow hot with anger. She wanted to know and know now.

“With all do respect, I want to know. I think that the sooner I find out the faster I can accept it,” she said keeping her voice at a tolerable level.

“Lord Elrond, I think she has you on that one. But I will let you decide,” Haldir said looking up at Elrond.

Elrond decided that he might as well spill it. He settled on the bed beside her. “Cassie, when someone is affected by poisons, their body becomes quickly attacked, infection and deep sleep happens. But the poison you had is of one that we had never seen before. It was a mixture of many different ones meant to slowly eat you alive, to affect your mind, soul, and your body at the same time. Sometimes when someone is infected with poisons they act differently than they usually would. But this one had effects that had never been shown in others before,” he said.

“Okay, so I acted out, but how?” she asked.

“It was not your fault and no harm was done,” Elrond said beating around the bush.

“My lord, just spit it out,” she said to him.

“You were hallucinating, seeing things and in doing so, you attacked some of the members of the entourage,” he finally said.

Cassie sat there stunned by what she had just heard. Her, of all people, violent. She could not believe it. She would never hurt a fly. Silence filled the room as she closed her eyes. Memories flooded her mind. Suddenly everything was clearer. No wonder she was so sore. The memories were too much and she began to feel herself slip into a state of utter panic.

“Oh no, I did not do that. No! What did those Motherfucking Orcs do to me?!” she screamed it loud. Her shrill voice was no longer weak. She rose quickly from the bed. Totally ignoring her pain and began to pace. Haldir bounded from his side of the bed to try and stop her. He towered over her. “Oh My God. I threw you. I cannot believe I did that. I am so sorry Haldir, forgive me? Oh, God. I tried to stab all of you! How could I do that? You are all my friends. I would never do that!” she said shaking and shuddering at the thoughts of what she had done. Haldir tried shushing her. She would not heed. “Holy Fucking God, I hate orcs, I hate Sauron, and I hate Saruman! How the hell can they do this?” she asked and began to loose her breath. Anger filled her whole body as she went completely unglued.

Haldir rushed forward just as she began to fall forward. He lifted her as she became faint and went limp. Elrond rushed to her and checked her. Her breathing had slowed almost to a stop. He sat on the side of the bed and quickly placed his hand on her forehead to reach her mind to calm her. Haldir stood there and worried. He knew that Cassie was having a hard time dealing with what she had been through and what she had done. He could not handle seeing her like this. As he turned to leave, Elrond reached out and grabbed his arm. “Do not leave Haldir. She needs you right now,” he said calmly closing his eyes and making the connection with her mind. Haldir sat back down and gently caressed her hair.

Soon after she had passed out, Cassie's breathing returned to normal but was sleeping calmly.

~~~~~

Elrond and Haldir stayed with her for a while speaking in hushed tones.

“I knew that this would happen. She should not have been told. I am only glad I was able to calm her mind,” Elrond said looking out the window.

“My Lord, she wanted to know,” Haldir said.

“I know that Haldir, but her soul is pure, to realize that she did something so violent, is a shock to her senses,” Elrond said turning to look at the sleeping form on the bed.

“I know it is Elrond but the trauma of what she endured on the wall and seeing the horrors that went on there, were just as bad. You would think she would not have acted like this,” Haldir said grabbing her hand in his.

“Yes but battle is different when fought in the mind than in physical form. In battle there is a necessity but in the mind that is not a necessity. It is uncalled for, senseless,” Elrond said a little irritated.

“I know that my lord. Before she got so bad, it was like she was still fighting that battle,” Haldir said honestly.

“She was Haldir. When I connected with her a short while ago, I saw what had been plaguing her mind over the last few days. She does not have consciousness of it, but she will and it will be difficult to deal with. She only remembers her actions, but not what caused them,” Elrond said sitting on the foot of the bed.

“What was she seeing?” Haldir said curious.

“When she saw elves she saw the orcs. Her knowledge of our world is great, almost parallel. She knows the histories of the elves and Orcs. She knows that at one time, Orcs were elves tortured and mutilated. The poison somehow played into that causing the hallucinations. That is why she attacked all of you. I fear that it will take time for her to come to grips fully,” Elrond said.

Haldir looked at the Lord stunned. What he said explained why she acted like she did. Haldir looked at the young woman that had captured his heart. He wanted to protect her always from the evils of this world.

~~~~~

A few hours later Cassie awoke to an empty room. She remembered what she had been told and what she had remembered. Her heart was heavy with regret. She should have not chosen this life. This world was nothing like she had been apart of. She felt an overwhelming grief strike her heart. She began to cry.

The door suddenly opened and in came a woman with long flowing dark hair and blue gray eyes. She was beautiful. Cassie's eyes shot up and she quickly wiped her eyes, then looked at her.

Arwen looked at the girl sitting on the bed. Seeing her in tears made Arwen feel sorry for her. This young one had been through so much. Arwen made her way to the bed and sat down. “Hello, Lady Cassie. I am Arwen,” she said sweetly. Arwen reached to brush a hand through the young girl’s long dark hair. “Do not cry, sweetling,” she said trying to calm her.

“Arwen, you are Elrond's daughter. Aragorn is your betrothed,” Cassie said wiping her eyes.

Arwen looked down sadly. “No not anymore. He released me.”

Cassie had forgotten that. She immediately gasped. “I am sorry I forgot. But do not fear, all is not lost with him. His heart is forever yours,” Cassie said assuring her.

Arwen looked up at her stunned by her words. “ How would you know that?” she asked.

“Uh, I know, because…” she started ,trying to cover up her mistake in revealing too much, “Well, to be honest. I know because there are books where I am from that says that it is not over.”

Arwen looked up at her and smiled. “I know, I saw it in a dream. I always knew that there was hope.”

“So my lady, what brings you here?” Cassie asked.

“Oh, I came to help you bathe and get dressed. A healer will be here shortly to check your wounds and rebind it,” she said. Cassie nodded.

Arwen went in to the next room. Cassie tried to stand but felt a little dizzy. She fell and hit the floor. She did not know it but Haldir had entered the room just as she went to fall. “Cassie, lirimaer, are you alright?” Haldir said rushing to her side. Arwen came bolting from the bathing room. She gasped.

“Oh my, Lady Cassie, I am sorry,” Arwen said worried.

“You should not have let her rise on her own, “ Haldir said curtly.

Haldir do not scold her. She only went in the next room to run my bath,” Cassie said irritated that he had scolded Arwen.

“I am sorry, Cassie, Haldir,” she said sweetly.

Haldir felt irritated, but soon lost the irritation. “I am sorry, Arwen. I lost my temper a little. Forgive me?” he asked.

“That is okay, Haldir. We are all a little on edge,” she said brushing her hand against his arm.

“Okay now that that is over, can someone help me please?” Cassie said annoyed.

Arwen and Haldir took the hint and helped Cassie to her feet. Cassie felt another rush of dizziness. She shook her head to clear it away. Haldir helped to walk her into the bathing room.

“Cassie, I will leave you with Arwen. Now do not try and do anything on your own anymore. Promise me?” he asked giving her a stern look.

“Okay, I will not, I promise,” she said sweetly.

Haldir bent and kissed her forehead. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

Cassie had not thought about food. Her stomach did feel empty so she looked up at him. “Yes, I am famished.”

“Alright then, I will get some food and be back to dine with you,” he said turning around to leave.

“Thank you Haldir,” Cassie said. Haldir turned back to her and smiled.

~~~~~~~

Cassie had just been settled back into bed and waited for Haldir to come. She and Arwen had become fast friends on the last hour and a half of talking. Rivendell was peaceful. Cassie sat listening to the sounds of the birds outside. The air smelt of blossoms in the late afternoon.

A soft knock sounded on the door. Cassie broke from her reverie to call out. “Come in,”

Haldir came through the door carrying a tray loaded with food. He smiled, “Hello there. You look refreshed. I saw that the healer had left a few minutes ago, how did that go?”

“Fine, he said that the wound is healing beautifully,” she said smiling. Haldir sat the tray on to the table. He filled two plates with food and filled two goblets with wine. He grabbed her robe and handed it to her to put on. After helping her a little, he bent down.

“My lady, our late lunch awaits us,” he said regally. He placed his arm under her knees, then one behind her back and lifted her off the bed to carry her to the table. Cassie protested.

“Haldir, put me down! What about your arm?” she said wiggling in his arms.

“No I will not allow you to walk and injure yourself. My arm is fine. Besides I like having you in my arms. The power of control over you feels wonderful and intoxicating,” he said with a broad smile.

She put her arm around his neck and then kissed his cheek. “Well fine then. I am not going to argue with you,” she said taking in his strength. She loved being in his arms. Never had she had any man carry her like he did. They reached the table and Haldir gently placed her in her chair. He scooted his to sit closer to her.

The food was piled high on the plate. Haldir had given her a huge portion of everything. She looked at him overwhelmed. Although the food looked wonderful, she felt a little woozy from the dose of potion that the healer had given her. She decided that she would eat the bland food first. She picked up the fork and took a bite. After not eating for several days, her stomach felt too small. She looked at Haldir who looked at her with an eye of approval. He took a bite of the food and washed it down with the wine.

“Haldir,” she started, “ I wanted to say I am sorry.” Haldir looked at her funny.

“For what, lirimaer?” he asked handing her some bread.

“For what happened the night I threw you,” she said.

“There is no need for apologies. You were sick and we all knew it was not like you. It was forgiven the moment it happened,” he said reaching and taking her hand in his.

“I am just sorry. I would never hurt you or anyone. I had to apologize to clear my conscious. Although I still feel a little confused by what happened to me. I don't even know why I did it,” she said.

“I know but do not worry. Now eat,” he said releasing her hand.

“Haldir, I don’t think I can eat much more. I feel full,” she rubbing her stomach.

Haldir looked at her. “You have hardly touched anything,” he said looking at her plate.

“I am just not as hungry as I thought I was,” she said honestly.

“Alright. Did you want to lie down?” he said looking at her intently seeing that she did look tired.

“If you do not mind,” she said starting to stand as Haldir grabbed her hand to stop her. He stood quickly and bent to pick her up. He took her to the bed and sat her down. He pulled the covers over her legs and sat on the bed beside her.

“I brought a book of poetry. Do you like poetry?” he asked.

“Yes I do,” she said.

Haldir stood up and went back to the table and picked up the book. He settled himself beside her and leaned up against the headboard. Pulling her into the crook of his arm, he settled her head on his chest and began to read. His voice slowly relaxed her and she soon found herself falling asleep.

After a short time, Haldir finished the poem and realized that Cassie was asleep. He smiled to himself knowing that he brought her the feeling of protection that she needed. Haldir laid the book on the nightstand. He gently pulled her to lie down more and turned to his side to snuggle closer to her. He laid there for a time gently stroking her cheek with his fingers. Memorizing every contour of her face and the softness of her skin. His heart swelled with love for this woman in his arms. He lightly kissed her forehead and noticed she smiled in her sleep.

“I love you,” he said to her in his mind. He smiled and soon fell asleep.