Because of You, I Am Afraid
folder
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
11
Views:
2,922
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
11
Views:
2,922
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 10
Chapter 10
Admitting his fear put to rest his turmoil with himself, but it did not stop him wanting Imrhienna. Now that she had returned, even for a so very short a time, there were reminders of her presence all around him.
And he could no longer face the Lady, finding that when he looked into her eyes he no longer saw his own reflection, but Imrhienna’s.
His nerves were frayed, his temper raw, and his spirits low.
He walked, finding that the stiller he was, the more his thoughts ran rampant. He ran, wanting to escape that which plagued him, but to no avail, until he finally threw himself between the trees into a clearing, and found himself at the same cliff face where he and Imrhienna had watched the red sun rise so very long ago.
Thinking to turn away, (and perhaps to hit something,) he was stopped by a shout from below. Turning to look down at the village, he allowed himself for the first time, in all the years that he had been coming to this very spot, to see.
He stood, looking at the charred remains of the village, and for the first time, he found he was noticing all the things he had never seen before.
There were children helping rebuild housing and planting crops, despite the early hour and bitter cold.
None of the people had very warm clothing on, and despite standing and watching for more than two hours, never once did he see them break for food.
He watched Imrhienna too. He watched as she moved through the village, to where she was needed. She did not stop either. And even from his place, high above them all, he could see the defeat in all their stances. They knew that despite all their efforts, they would not last the winter.
And he knew it to.
And he saw then what Imrhienna had seen all along.
This was not about he and Imrhienna. This was about something much larger, (than even his pride, he thought wryly) something that should, could not be ignored.
It had never been about Imrhienna’s feelings for him.
It was he who had made it about them. It was his own insecurities that had driven her from him.
It was he, and he alone who was responsible for the suffering of them both now. And upon realising this, truly knowing than that it was only he who could resolve the situation, he squared his shoulders then, and turned back into the forest, leaving all his old bitterness and resentment behind him. Turning and looking back over the Village one last time before disappearing into the trees, he murmured, to the remains of the Village far below him;
“I do not like who I have become.”
And upon his return to Lorien, he did what he should have done so very long ago, when the subject of aiding the village was first brought to him.
&&&67
Imrhienna sat in her room, fighting the tears that she knew eventually would come. She knew that it was over for the people. If she left to beg the help of the Lady, her countless patients would die in her absence, and if she did not, the whole village would perish. It was a choice that rendered her heart in two. And despite the fact that even now, as she prepared to leave for the borders, she knew that with the men dead, even with aid from the elves, the women of the village would not last much longer with no one to do the heavy work of the fields. No new children would be born. And knowing that she had no other choice other than to let the men die, she swallowed her tears and left her cottage, to make her way into the forrest.
Just as she was about to step in to the shadows, she looked up at the shouts coming from the village. Shouts that could have passed for….joy? she turned and ran to the village center, intent upon seeing what had caused the first sign of joy in so very long.
One look at the marked crates, the piles of preserved goods, the blankets, the livestock, the staple food supplies that were carried past her, and she knew who was responsible for them. Elves passed her, all baring armfuls of clothing, which they distributed amongst the children, even their stern dispositions weakened at the children’s cries of delight at the beautiful strangers who came bearing gifts.
She reached out to grasp the arm of one who walked past her, and her eyes widened in shock when she saw it was Orophin.
“Orophin?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper. Orophin shook his head, trying to hide his smile.
“Nay, Imrhienna. Haldir.” He said, before he continued on his way, leaving her gaping in his wake.
Haldir? After all these years his acknowledgment of these peoples problems, of her plight, made her knees weaken. Surely not! She thought in disbelief. But then she saw Haldir’s own brigade amongst the elves distributing goods, and she knew that it must be so.
She was so sure she could stay away from him. But as yet another pile of blankets passed her, she knew she could not. It was the last stone on her mountain of resolve. It toppled.
She had convinced herself that she didn’t want to know him anymore. That maybe after all these years she could begin to forget the way she burned for him, the way her breathe caught when she saw him. And maybe, she thought, as she turned to go back into the forest, after seeing that Loriens finest healers were seeing to the men. Maybe, she did forget the old Haldir, only to fall instantly in love with the new one. She wanted to know him again. She wanted him to love her again. And she wanted to love him.
A/N:only one chapter left now. And I know this was only a short one, I’m sorry! And then its all over my friends. Thankyou all for your support through this story, and for your kind words and advice. It has been greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, this will be my last LoTR fic for a while, as I will be starting university soon, and want to concentrate on that for a while. I will be writing ficlets still, and am perhaps looking into an X men fic or two. So enjoy this chapter. An end is near now. And thankyou. Don’t forget to tell me what you think!
Admitting his fear put to rest his turmoil with himself, but it did not stop him wanting Imrhienna. Now that she had returned, even for a so very short a time, there were reminders of her presence all around him.
And he could no longer face the Lady, finding that when he looked into her eyes he no longer saw his own reflection, but Imrhienna’s.
His nerves were frayed, his temper raw, and his spirits low.
He walked, finding that the stiller he was, the more his thoughts ran rampant. He ran, wanting to escape that which plagued him, but to no avail, until he finally threw himself between the trees into a clearing, and found himself at the same cliff face where he and Imrhienna had watched the red sun rise so very long ago.
Thinking to turn away, (and perhaps to hit something,) he was stopped by a shout from below. Turning to look down at the village, he allowed himself for the first time, in all the years that he had been coming to this very spot, to see.
He stood, looking at the charred remains of the village, and for the first time, he found he was noticing all the things he had never seen before.
There were children helping rebuild housing and planting crops, despite the early hour and bitter cold.
None of the people had very warm clothing on, and despite standing and watching for more than two hours, never once did he see them break for food.
He watched Imrhienna too. He watched as she moved through the village, to where she was needed. She did not stop either. And even from his place, high above them all, he could see the defeat in all their stances. They knew that despite all their efforts, they would not last the winter.
And he knew it to.
And he saw then what Imrhienna had seen all along.
This was not about he and Imrhienna. This was about something much larger, (than even his pride, he thought wryly) something that should, could not be ignored.
It had never been about Imrhienna’s feelings for him.
It was he who had made it about them. It was his own insecurities that had driven her from him.
It was he, and he alone who was responsible for the suffering of them both now. And upon realising this, truly knowing than that it was only he who could resolve the situation, he squared his shoulders then, and turned back into the forest, leaving all his old bitterness and resentment behind him. Turning and looking back over the Village one last time before disappearing into the trees, he murmured, to the remains of the Village far below him;
“I do not like who I have become.”
And upon his return to Lorien, he did what he should have done so very long ago, when the subject of aiding the village was first brought to him.
&&&67
Imrhienna sat in her room, fighting the tears that she knew eventually would come. She knew that it was over for the people. If she left to beg the help of the Lady, her countless patients would die in her absence, and if she did not, the whole village would perish. It was a choice that rendered her heart in two. And despite the fact that even now, as she prepared to leave for the borders, she knew that with the men dead, even with aid from the elves, the women of the village would not last much longer with no one to do the heavy work of the fields. No new children would be born. And knowing that she had no other choice other than to let the men die, she swallowed her tears and left her cottage, to make her way into the forrest.
Just as she was about to step in to the shadows, she looked up at the shouts coming from the village. Shouts that could have passed for….joy? she turned and ran to the village center, intent upon seeing what had caused the first sign of joy in so very long.
One look at the marked crates, the piles of preserved goods, the blankets, the livestock, the staple food supplies that were carried past her, and she knew who was responsible for them. Elves passed her, all baring armfuls of clothing, which they distributed amongst the children, even their stern dispositions weakened at the children’s cries of delight at the beautiful strangers who came bearing gifts.
She reached out to grasp the arm of one who walked past her, and her eyes widened in shock when she saw it was Orophin.
“Orophin?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper. Orophin shook his head, trying to hide his smile.
“Nay, Imrhienna. Haldir.” He said, before he continued on his way, leaving her gaping in his wake.
Haldir? After all these years his acknowledgment of these peoples problems, of her plight, made her knees weaken. Surely not! She thought in disbelief. But then she saw Haldir’s own brigade amongst the elves distributing goods, and she knew that it must be so.
She was so sure she could stay away from him. But as yet another pile of blankets passed her, she knew she could not. It was the last stone on her mountain of resolve. It toppled.
She had convinced herself that she didn’t want to know him anymore. That maybe after all these years she could begin to forget the way she burned for him, the way her breathe caught when she saw him. And maybe, she thought, as she turned to go back into the forest, after seeing that Loriens finest healers were seeing to the men. Maybe, she did forget the old Haldir, only to fall instantly in love with the new one. She wanted to know him again. She wanted him to love her again. And she wanted to love him.
A/N:only one chapter left now. And I know this was only a short one, I’m sorry! And then its all over my friends. Thankyou all for your support through this story, and for your kind words and advice. It has been greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, this will be my last LoTR fic for a while, as I will be starting university soon, and want to concentrate on that for a while. I will be writing ficlets still, and am perhaps looking into an X men fic or two. So enjoy this chapter. An end is near now. And thankyou. Don’t forget to tell me what you think!