In Her Words

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns them, I merely play with them.
Title: In Her Words
Author: Jade (aka Aragornsfavorite)
Email: elvenjade2@gmail.com
Warning: AU, angst, implied Slash.
Chapter: 10/15
Feedback: more reviews means more chapters
Summary: Glorfindel reads from Anira’s journal

A/n. Sorry this took so long. I promise it will not be so long until the next chapter

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Chapter 10.


Elladan had finally been allowed to get up and walk around. Once his decision had been made to go to Anira he had felt some of his strength return, at least enough to walk around a few minutes at a time. With his twin at his side, they had taken a walk outside and were now sitting under a tree in the gardens.
“ you will leave soon” Elrohir spoke.
“ I will” Elladan replied, turning to look at his twin. He opened his mouth to say more but was silenced as Elrohir shook his head.
“Do not say that I do not have to go when you do” he said quietly “I could never stay and not have you close. You are half of who I am and to survive I must go when you do”
Elladan sighed and nodded his head silently. He felt as his twin did and had it been Elrohir’s choice to sail, Elladan would have chosen the same way as his twin. For now he merely rested his head on his twin’ shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying the soft breeze he could feel.
“Elladan?” the younger twin grinned when his brother opened his eyes.” I would let you sleep longer however I know you do not wish to miss having Glorfindel read more of Anira’s journal.”
Elladan looked around and realized he had fallen asleep. Sitting up slowly he heard Elrohir chuckle as he had to remove some of the grass from his hair.
“Come” Elrohir helped him to his feet “we have just enough time to make it there”

Glorfindel had known the twins would be there and had chosen to wait until they arrived. He grinned when Elrohir had explained of how Elladan had fallen asleep in the gardens. The older twin merely rolled his eyes as the twins moved to their places. Looking around he saw everyone waiting for him to start and he took a sip of his wine first, opened the journal to where he had left a marker.

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A few days until we are to be bound and I am more nervous now then ever. I can only imagine how I will be the day of the ceremony. Arwen finds this mildly amusing and assured me that I am not t he first to feel this way. Celebrian has even assured me that she had been nervous before her ceremony as well. Hearing this had brought me some comfort. It is not the fact that I will bind myself to Elladan that has me this nervous, I just want everything to be perfect and not have anything go wrong. We have both waited too long for this day to have anything go wrong.
Though I have spent most of my days planning and worrying, my nights as always are spent relaxing with Elladan. Last night we enjoyed a nice quiet evening relaxing in front of the fire. No one came to disturb us and we had fallen asleep by the fire, the blanket wrapped around us with Elladan’s arms wrapped around me, it was perfect.

He was already gone when I woke up but he had moved me into my bed and as usual left me a small note. I enjoy getting his notes and letters yet look forward to the day that I can wake up and still have him with me. To see his smile first thing in the morning and lose myself in his eyes. Just one look from him with the charming smile is enough to effect me. He knows this to and loves to use this against me. Of course, I do not mind at all and he knows this as well. There is nothing that I would change about him or about us. I know things will always be this way for us and that is how we want it to be.

As stressful as it sometimes can be to have everyone always around, tailors always taking measurements, servants wanting to make sure that the menu is as we wish I have still enjoyed every moment of planning our day, our moment. Elladan had promised we will have a few days away; it will be nice not to have to share him with anyone for a while. I also know that he wishes to use this time to start our family. We have already discussed this and both agree that we do not wish to wait. I will only tell my father this afterwards though, just to save Elladan from getting yet another lecture from him.
My father means well but can be a little bit over protective. I have seen Elrond be this way with Arwen as well so perhaps all fathers are the same way when it comes to their daughters. I have no doubt that Elladan will also be like this should we have a daughter.

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Glorfindel stopped reading as Elladan had gotten up and walked out onto the balcony, Elrohir getting up shortly afterwards and going to see him. Whatever was said between the twins, only they knew. After a few minutes the came back in and sat down. Elrohir now sitting closer to his brother and Glorfindel did not fail to notice the swollen look of Elladan’s eyes. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that the older twin was still hurting, nor did they blame him.

Sitting back and closing his eyes, Glorfindel waited until more food had been brought in for everyone. Choosing not to eat, he merely took more wine instead.
“When was the last time you ate?” Erestor’s voice suddenly broke into his thoughts
“I am merely not hungry” Glorfindel replied, arching an eyebrow slightly at the look Erestor gave him. The advisor shook his head and went to take his place.
“Elladan is not the only one who needs to be watched” Erestor commented quietly to himself but when Glorfindel looked his way, he was sure the elf lord had heard him. Erestor sighed softly when Glorfindel had chosen not to comment and opened the journal once more.

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It was Elladan who figured it out after I had become sick for perhaps the fourth time in a row during the night. The morning light had began and still I had not been feeling any better. I thought it was just my nerves at first but Elladan proved that to be wrong. It had not been too long ago when we both decided that we would start our family right away and it seems time had not been wasted. Two days left until the day we are to bind ourselves and it seems I am already carrying our child. Elladan swears he is more then happy for this news and the sparkle in his eyes confirms this. He has not left my side since and although the others are beginning to question this, no one had yet been told. Only one other knows and that is Elrohir and only because he knows his twin better then anyone and neither twin have ever been able to hide anything for each other. Elrohir knew without Elladan even saying a word. I wanted to tell my father yet when he came earlier I hesitated, not because I fear him being upset for I know that will not be the case. He knows that of my love for Elladan and of Elladan’s for me. Still it is not easy to find the words when facing my father. He is intimidating even when he does not wish to be. I love him dearly though and hope nothing about him will ever change.

As happy as I am for this, it is also making me even more nervous. I can barely even think of food without getting sick again and I wonder if I ill be able to get through the whole Ceremony without having to excuse myself all the time. Elladan had told me who knows if some herbs that will help and I hope that it does. I wonder if there are any herbs that will help me sleep. It seems that the closer our big day gets the less I sleep. Elladan stays awake with me though which I do think is sweet. It will not look too good though should be both look exhausted on the day we are to bind ourselves. I mentioned this to Elladan and he thought it was amusing until he had noticed how worried I was. He assures me that everything will be perfect. I know he is right yet I still am nervous.

There are just a few last minute things that need to be taken care of, the servants and the others who are assigned to help are all taken care of things. This leaves me with little to keep me distracted. I have tried to rest, it does not help as I am to anxious to stay still for long. Erestor was kind enough to bring me a few books I could read and I have tried but something always makes me start to wonder what everyone else is doing and I get restless once more. Elladan has been trying to convince me that being this stressed and nervous is not good for the baby and I know he is right. I just feel that it cannot be helped at this time. When and after we get through the ceremony then I should be able to relax more and just enjoy my days with Elladan, providing I can stop getting sick each morning.

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Glorfindel had closed the journal and looked up in time to see Elladan wiping his eyes. The older twin had never been one to cry in front of anyone other than his own twin. Always the proud warrior yet this had been the one thing that had broken him and in same ways had broken all of them. Anira had been a part of everyone’s daily life. It was not until after she had left did everyone realize just how much they counted on her being there and how empty their days had become now that she was no longer there. Looking over he saw the twins silently get up and leave the room. He watched them then turned to Elrond.
“They will sail soon” Elrond nodded. “They have not said this yet but I can feel it”
Glorfindel did not even have a chance to reply before Elrond and Celebrian also took their leave, Arwen and Aragorn following them shortly afterwards. Sighing softly, Glorfindel picked up Anira’s journal. He was not surprised that the twins would sail together and he knew Elladan wanted to be with Anira. He had watched the twins grow up and seeing them leave would be hard.
“I will have no one left” He said quietly.” All my family has either left or will soon be leaving”
Without another word he to left the room, leaving Erestor sitting by himself.
“No Glorfindel” He whispered softly.” You will still have me”

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TBC.