Two Towers Parody
folder
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
16
Views:
944
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Recommended:
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Currently Reading:
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Category:
-Multi-Age › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
16
Views:
944
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 10
Everything was going pretty fast in edours as Thedoen decieds to take the Men to Helms Deep there grate fortress of Rock carved deep in the mountiens Thousands of years ago by the water valar before the grate see gave way to letting Middle Earth have a little more land.Eyown made a fuss and winded to her Unlce cause he wouldn't let her come.
Theoden: I know you want to go cause Aragron is.
Eyown: How rude! *crosses her arms and stomps off to her courts*
Legolas (The rest of us head out to Helms Deep for the big show down the rumble the fight, possabily the last night of our lifes! Where Humans have no chances as they only have one way out and there is no way out father down into the caves but to wonder around tell we die.Well tell the Humans die then maybe I'll get out some how some way.Maybe Gimli can hack away through with his ax Sheesh Im getting clostrophobic talking about it.)
Gandalf: Legolas enough with the depressing stuff your suppose to be the up lifting one Im the barre of bad news!
Legolas: Well pardon me I am the story teller.( Anyways we travled to Helms Deep but before that we had a little rumble with some Wrags and some little Gobliens that road on there backs like monkeys. I took down the first two cause I have a bow an arrow.We killed them like no one buissness they died we beat them! Believe me dead goblies aren't the most lovely to smell! Lucky we finally got to the Horn burg the gate and bridge to inside of Helms Deep)
Gimli: I can't wait to see the glittiring Caves! * puts hands together sighing*
Legolas: You dwarves and your rocks!
Gimli: Well at lest there worth more then stinking Trees!
Legolas: Trees are a lot more valuable as the Breath and have voice of there own! Dwarves just hack into the rock and carve it not stoping to think if it can feel no wonder there are valcoans the Earth is upset by your volince tord it.
Gimli: That is a bunch of stuck together Macaronie And Cheese Rocks don't have feeling and never will so shut your yap elvie Prince Lad before I put my ax in it.
Legolas: Oh I shake in fear!
Gimli: That does it! *tackles Legolas*
Legolas: *Gimli goes flying over my head and there is a load crashing on the wall infront of me.*
Merry: *chucks another rock down at an orc* HA I got another one beat that Pippin!
Pippin: *chucks one and it smacks him in the head!* Ha you beat that Treebreed!
Treebreed: *Picks up something that looks like a hill and takes out 20 of them with one throw* Beat that * he laughs which sounds like a whislte.* Golly Im thisrty Quickbeam brake that damn relise the river! Quickbeam dose as he is told and soon water floods all of Isangard and Treebreed happly sucks water up from his toes.* Hold on little Hobbits! * he crys as a wave comes and hits him they do hold on*
Pippin: *screams* I can't swim!
Merry: Thats ok you won't have to!
Pippin: Ture! (So Isangard is flooded but nothing happens to the tower)
Treebreed: Oh come on brake you pice of junk! * he hollers and kicks it with his foot* OUCH ok Ents enough trying to brake the tower lets go smash some more Orcs and the Horns will get the ones who get away. You two stay here and keep watch For Gandalf alright I'll be back sometime tomrrow farewell. *he wonders away*
Merry: I can't believe he just left us here all by ourselves
Pippin: Yes I know and Im straving
Merry: *pulls a sub out of his pocket* Here you go
Pippin: Oh thanks * they split it in half and eat it very happly.*
Gollum: Lookie Master I caught cute baby bunnys for your dinner eat the heads first! * he laughs and chuckles going to night into one of the heads*
Sam: Oh thats it, Gollum thats gross give those to me there is only one way to eat a brice of connies when you don't have an oven! *starts a fire and stews them*
Gollum: NO your stewing it all wrong its counter clock wise three times then 3 again then other way. Not clock wise three the three counter clock wise and do you have any salt.
Sam: Just a little and I know how to stew connies don't worry but I think we need some Tators.
Gollum: What on the name of great Sam Hill is that.
Sam: Gollum your hopless it means POT-A-TOS!
Gollum: well why didn't you just say that!
Sam: I think.. Hey where is Mr Frodo at?
Gollum: Hey I am not his baby sitter! *glares at Sam*
Sam: Oh great who knows what he has gotten himself into now * he goes to look for him and he is running around a firn in curicles* Come On Mr Frodo we have some connie for you why are you running around in curicles like that for anyways?
Frodo: For some exsrices did I hear you say something about food?
Sam: yes sr.
Frodo: Lead on my Good Hobbit!
Sam: Sure thing Mr Frodo * skips off over the hill tord the camp fire*
Frodo: YOU lit a fire you Fool Fool Of ah *Gandalf glares: You better not use it!* You thik headed soft pillow face your not suppose to be lighting fires silly goose oh well please pass me some stewed rabbit!
Sam: Right away Mr Frodo. *dishes out his soup for him*
While Merry and Pippin sit high and dry eatting Hamburgers with cheese and mushrooms on them and golden tators and ale and they even got to smoke some old tobey longbottom leave the Pippin dreamed up!
Pippin: I wounder if it means I am smoking to much when I see walking talking trees?
Merry: Nope this is real life now if you didn't see walking talking trees them you'd be smoking to much. *He did have a good point you know.*
Theoden: I know you want to go cause Aragron is.
Eyown: How rude! *crosses her arms and stomps off to her courts*
Legolas (The rest of us head out to Helms Deep for the big show down the rumble the fight, possabily the last night of our lifes! Where Humans have no chances as they only have one way out and there is no way out father down into the caves but to wonder around tell we die.Well tell the Humans die then maybe I'll get out some how some way.Maybe Gimli can hack away through with his ax Sheesh Im getting clostrophobic talking about it.)
Gandalf: Legolas enough with the depressing stuff your suppose to be the up lifting one Im the barre of bad news!
Legolas: Well pardon me I am the story teller.( Anyways we travled to Helms Deep but before that we had a little rumble with some Wrags and some little Gobliens that road on there backs like monkeys. I took down the first two cause I have a bow an arrow.We killed them like no one buissness they died we beat them! Believe me dead goblies aren't the most lovely to smell! Lucky we finally got to the Horn burg the gate and bridge to inside of Helms Deep)
Gimli: I can't wait to see the glittiring Caves! * puts hands together sighing*
Legolas: You dwarves and your rocks!
Gimli: Well at lest there worth more then stinking Trees!
Legolas: Trees are a lot more valuable as the Breath and have voice of there own! Dwarves just hack into the rock and carve it not stoping to think if it can feel no wonder there are valcoans the Earth is upset by your volince tord it.
Gimli: That is a bunch of stuck together Macaronie And Cheese Rocks don't have feeling and never will so shut your yap elvie Prince Lad before I put my ax in it.
Legolas: Oh I shake in fear!
Gimli: That does it! *tackles Legolas*
Legolas: *Gimli goes flying over my head and there is a load crashing on the wall infront of me.*
Merry: *chucks another rock down at an orc* HA I got another one beat that Pippin!
Pippin: *chucks one and it smacks him in the head!* Ha you beat that Treebreed!
Treebreed: *Picks up something that looks like a hill and takes out 20 of them with one throw* Beat that * he laughs which sounds like a whislte.* Golly Im thisrty Quickbeam brake that damn relise the river! Quickbeam dose as he is told and soon water floods all of Isangard and Treebreed happly sucks water up from his toes.* Hold on little Hobbits! * he crys as a wave comes and hits him they do hold on*
Pippin: *screams* I can't swim!
Merry: Thats ok you won't have to!
Pippin: Ture! (So Isangard is flooded but nothing happens to the tower)
Treebreed: Oh come on brake you pice of junk! * he hollers and kicks it with his foot* OUCH ok Ents enough trying to brake the tower lets go smash some more Orcs and the Horns will get the ones who get away. You two stay here and keep watch For Gandalf alright I'll be back sometime tomrrow farewell. *he wonders away*
Merry: I can't believe he just left us here all by ourselves
Pippin: Yes I know and Im straving
Merry: *pulls a sub out of his pocket* Here you go
Pippin: Oh thanks * they split it in half and eat it very happly.*
Gollum: Lookie Master I caught cute baby bunnys for your dinner eat the heads first! * he laughs and chuckles going to night into one of the heads*
Sam: Oh thats it, Gollum thats gross give those to me there is only one way to eat a brice of connies when you don't have an oven! *starts a fire and stews them*
Gollum: NO your stewing it all wrong its counter clock wise three times then 3 again then other way. Not clock wise three the three counter clock wise and do you have any salt.
Sam: Just a little and I know how to stew connies don't worry but I think we need some Tators.
Gollum: What on the name of great Sam Hill is that.
Sam: Gollum your hopless it means POT-A-TOS!
Gollum: well why didn't you just say that!
Sam: I think.. Hey where is Mr Frodo at?
Gollum: Hey I am not his baby sitter! *glares at Sam*
Sam: Oh great who knows what he has gotten himself into now * he goes to look for him and he is running around a firn in curicles* Come On Mr Frodo we have some connie for you why are you running around in curicles like that for anyways?
Frodo: For some exsrices did I hear you say something about food?
Sam: yes sr.
Frodo: Lead on my Good Hobbit!
Sam: Sure thing Mr Frodo * skips off over the hill tord the camp fire*
Frodo: YOU lit a fire you Fool Fool Of ah *Gandalf glares: You better not use it!* You thik headed soft pillow face your not suppose to be lighting fires silly goose oh well please pass me some stewed rabbit!
Sam: Right away Mr Frodo. *dishes out his soup for him*
While Merry and Pippin sit high and dry eatting Hamburgers with cheese and mushrooms on them and golden tators and ale and they even got to smoke some old tobey longbottom leave the Pippin dreamed up!
Pippin: I wounder if it means I am smoking to much when I see walking talking trees?
Merry: Nope this is real life now if you didn't see walking talking trees them you'd be smoking to much. *He did have a good point you know.*