The Music in My Heart
folder
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
75
Views:
3,761
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Lord of the Rings Movies › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
75
Views:
3,761
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings book series and movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 10 Good Morning
Hi. This is my first fic and I'd really appreciate some feedback. Thanks.
Title: The Music in My Heart, Chapter 10
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, Glorfindel/Haldir, Elladan/OFC, Elrohir/Legolas, others implied
Rating: NC-17 for future chapters
Warning: AU --- Story set 770 years after ROTK; Some slash but, mostly het
Feedback: This is my first fanfic, so constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive:
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Alex Cat for her help in betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Any of the residents of Middle-earth and Aman that you recognize belong to Prof. Tolkien’s estate. The same is true about Middle-earth and Aman. I’m only visiting and admiring the “views”.
Summary: Sauron may be gone, but his legacy of evil still lingers. As Middle-earth faces the threat of another dark lord, a party of elves departs Aman on a mission for the Valar, a mission of mercy long delayed.
Chapter 10 --- Good Morning
“Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning.”
Maya Angelou
*****
The mists of deep sleep were slow to slip away as he settled deeper into his warm nest of pillows and blankets. A slight curl to his lips marked the slow passage to wakefulness as his mind began to sort the various sounds of the morning --- ah, the rumble of waterfalls --- Imladris! The veil of elven sleep slowly lifted from silver-grey eyes and smiling lips parted to draw in a deep, satisfied breath. Full awareness returned and his first morning back in his home settled over him. The soft smile gracing Elrond’s lips gave way to a soft laugh as his joy sought a means of greater expression.
Looking about his chambers with satisfaction, he was pleased and, in no small measure, relieved that his rooms had been left as they were the day he departed for Aman. There had been no awkward sense of ‘settling in’ to a new space, but rather one of returning home after a long, tiring trip. He had slept deeply and awoke refreshed.
After the grueling hours spent in the Healing House, he had been relieved to escape to his chambers for the night. When a servant offered to show him to his rooms, he had been startled until the elleth had quickly clarified her reason for suggesting it was to allow her to “make sure the Lord of Imladris had everything he needed for his comfort.”
/It seemed so odd to be shown to chambers I inhabited for over 4000 years… as if I were a guest in my own house. Still, I was grateful Erestor had had my rooms returned to their former condition and that a hot bath was quickly drawn upon entering the rooms. I was indeed weary when I finally retired, but it was, at least, a weariness that had a reason. For so long, I have been tired to my very bones and what sleep I found seldom left me refreshed./
Thinking of the servant, Lomelinde had irritated him with her forward manner. He had been strangely reluctant to have her accompany him as her intent had been all to clear. She had made a point of stressing “everything he needed” a little too much. /A little too obvious for my tastes,/ he thought.
/Yes, all too clear what she was after --- the chance to become my mistress and elevate her standing in the household. She thinks highly of herself, that much was obvious./ Smirking, he decided, /more Glorfindel’s type than mine. I am not expecting a potential mistress to be madly in love with me, but I do not think a little regard and respect are too much to expect --- both of which were glaringly lacking in the elleth’s approach./
/Besides, I much prefer a subtle flirtation to an overt proposition. Aye, she was pretty enough, …but she had a hard edge to her./
The image of another elleth entered his mind. /Not like Seere. She showed great strength and ability last night while still being caring and compassionate; no she did not look hard in the least. And quite beautiful even exhausted after hours in the healing rooms. Now that is an elleth I would like to get to know better!/
His reaction to her still puzzled him. While he had long seen her in visions, he had had many visions over his long life and this was not the first time he had foreseen someone he was destined to meet. It was the first time, however, that he had felt an instant connection. He had been amazed to feel his heart start to race and had been overcome with a desire to pull her to him in a tight embrace.
He settled back into the warm comfort of his bed and let his mind conjure the image of the intriguing Seere. / Lirimaer, you have captured my attention unlike anyone I have met in … longer than I can recall. I am looking forward to spending time alone with you to discuss your visions and dreams now more than ever! I wonder…./
Sitting up suddenly, a second image slipped into his thoughts. /Erestor! By the Valar, I am laying here lusting after my dear friend’s daughter. This will not do! Nothing but trouble will come of thinking about her like that. There is no way I could make Erestor’s daughter my mistress and I am not ready to contemplate marriage./
*****
Now that he was sitting up, he shifted to bunch several pillows behind his back. Elrond settled back and positioned himself so he could enjoy the view out his open balcony door. Glancing down at his lap, he gave a rueful shake of his head. “Wonderful, the first erection I have had in a very long time and the one to inspire it cannot be touched. I need to put this ridiculous attraction behind me quickly. There is vital work to be done and an inappropriate interest would only make it more difficult.”
Sighing deeply, he kicked the covers off of his naked body and sat shivering as the chilly morning air assaulted his frame. Nights in early summer offered a pleasant respite from the heat of the Imladrian day as the mountain air cooled as it slide down the valley walls and passed through the mist of the waterfalls. Early morning retained a touch of that crisp chill, a gentle balm to ease one into the heat of the day.
Hoping the chilly air would cool his ardor, he sought less a balm to his senses and more a bracing reminder of the folly of failing to control his behavior. /I am over 7000 years old and I am acting like an elfling with his first crush!/
*****
Looking for a distraction, he let his mind drift to his view --- the tiny rainbows sparking in the thick dew still clinging to the trees and balcony railings. Several tiny birds were hopping about under the table where he and the twins had shared a late meal before retiring the evening before.
His deep joy at being with his sons again moved him beyond words. A smile returned to his lips as he remembered his sons’ arrival with a tray shortly after he had finished his bath. Their conversation had been of inconsequential matters, but it had been a welcomed end to the day. His only regret was that Arwen could no longer join them for one of their informal family dinners on the balcony, a tradition he and Celebrian had started when the twins were toddlers.
Arwen --- for the first time in hundreds of years he thought of his daughter without the pain in his heart robbing him of breath. While he still grieved that Arwen was not with them, he was still glad to be back home. Arwen’s warmth and beauty… her love of her family, her love for him was engrained in the very fiber of Imladris. For the first time since her passing, a passing he had felt even in Aman, he sensed her spirit again. The moment he rode into the valley he had felt her presence embrace him and he finally began to hope that he would see her, see Estel again, even if he had to wait to the end of time.
A sense of contentment was stirring in his fëa in a manner he had not felt in … /How long? Since before Celebrian sailed? The moment I realized I would lose Arwen? Or does it go back longer still, to the day Erenion died?/
Saying a prayer of thanks to the Valar and Eru, he began to consider why he had been allowed to return. For Elrond, this mountain sanctuary, built to shelter mortal and immortal alike, his Imladris which embodied his unique heritage, this place where he had made a home and raised his family, where he had retreated after the pain and loss in Mordor, this place had become the true sanctuary of his fëa.
On a profoundly deep level, he had always felt like he did not quite belong in Aman. He could never find the peace he craved because Aman was not all that he was. So they had allowed him to come home to Middle-earth, home to his valley of waterfalls, back to the only sanctuary he knew. For the peredhel, Imladris was his blessed land.
*****
Seeing movement just beyond the balcony railings, he tilted his head to the side to get a better look. / Elrohir and Legolas seem to be off for a morning swim in the Bruinen. Maybe I should join them and enjoy a swim as well as their company. Besides, a little cold water may be just what I need to face Erestor and not betray my thoughts./
Motivated by his plan, Elrond swung his feet to the floor and rose. He had just reached for his morning robe when a knock sounded on the outer door to his sitting room. Calling for his visitor to enter, he finished pulling on his robe and walked into the adjacent room belting his robe as he went.
Erestor stepped into the room carrying a breakfast tray. “Erestor, quel amrun. How are you this beautiful morn, mellon nin?” Wincing inwardly at how cheerful he sounded, he was relieved to find that the sight of his friend was sufficiently bracing to allow him to face him without any embarrassing evidence of his earlier ardor. (Good morning.)
Moving further into the room, Erestor smiled and said, “Quel amrun, Elrond. You seem quite cheerful this morning. I trust you slept well.”
Indicating the tray, he went on, “I thought we might have breakfast together as we often did in the past. We did not have time to talk yesterday and I was hoping we could do so this morning.”
“I would enjoy that, mellon nin. Shall we move to the balcony to enjoy the view and the cool breeze while it lasts? Before you knocked I was thinking how nice it would be to go outside,” he confessed.
Motioning for the Chief Counsellor to precede him, the pair stepped out onto the patio. “I sometimes thought I was remembering too fondly the beauty of this valley; that it could not be this lovely. Tis a joy to be here again and prove to myself my memories were correct.”
Taking, out of long habit, their ’usual’ seats, Elrond reached over and poured them both a cup of fragrant herbal tea. After adding a dollop of honey to his cup, he sank back into the cushions of his chair with a contented sigh happy to simply look out across the lush landscape before him.
“Are you telling me Imladris is more beautiful than Aman?”
Falling into an easy conversation as if they had shared their morning tea without interruption, he answered, “Nay, Aman is the most beautiful place I have ever seen.”
His eyes became unfocused as his sight turned inward and he tried to find the words to explain the past 750 years to Erestor. “When I arrived, I was so weary and broken that I do not think I would have survived much longer without the healing and peace I found in the Blessed Land. But, for me at least, it was only a partial peace. This place never stopped calling to me, never left my heart, my soul. I felt like a ship without rudder or anchor, adrift and lost in a sea that seemed both familiar and alien. I had no purpose, nothing to occupy my days except reading and studying.”
Refocusing on his amused friend, he smiled in return as he continued, “I know that must sound like my idea of the perfect existence as you know my love of both. And, it was for quite a few years, but as the years went by it lost its savor. Perhaps a better analogy is it was like being fed your favorite food and only that food everyday year after year. I grew to crave the other foods I had known, even the ones I did not like because they could add variety, spice, change to my day. The ones I expected to miss the least or be glad never to see on my plate ever again became the very ones I craved the most. They seemed the most real, the most vital because they were not of my choosing, not necessarily to my liking. Those are the ones that force you to make the best of what is offered or go hungry. I began to turn away from the once favored and go without rather than face yet more of the same. But, without something to sustain you, you begin to wither and fade.”
“You’re telling me you found the Blessed Land, the place of elven peace and healing… boring?” Erestor teased.
Chuckling softly, he finally understood. “Maybe that was the problem. It was the place of ‘elven’ peace and healing. I am half-elven. I wonder if Elros found mortality an easier fit for the isolation that comes with being half-blooded… not whole? Did my Arwen?” He looked away as his eyes misted over, a single tear slipping free.
A pale hand covered the slightly darker hand of the peredhel as it gripped the arm of his chair. Squeezing it gently, Erestor prompted, “You have come home, mellon nin. Why should you feel isolated here in the sanctuary you built, a place that reflects all that you are, in the company of elves and men and a dwarf and even a few other peredhil, a place where you are surrounded by the family that loves you?”
Turning his hand to grip the comforting hand of his friend, Elrond sighed. “I think that is the very reason the Valar let me come home, tinechor toror.” (my shield brother)
*****
Stepping away from the balcony door of the adjacent suite of rooms, golden eyes filled with tears of their own as one of those “other peredhil” took a deep breath to try and control the rush of empathy his words had evoked.
Title: The Music in My Heart, Chapter 10
Author: Sorsha
Fandom/Pairing: Elrond/OFC, Glorfindel/Haldir, Elladan/OFC, Elrohir/Legolas, others implied
Rating: NC-17 for future chapters
Warning: AU --- Story set 770 years after ROTK; Some slash but, mostly het
Feedback: This is my first fanfic, so constructive feedback appreciated.
Archive:
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Alex Cat for her help in betaing this fic.
Disclaimer: Any of the residents of Middle-earth and Aman that you recognize belong to Prof. Tolkien’s estate. The same is true about Middle-earth and Aman. I’m only visiting and admiring the “views”.
Summary: Sauron may be gone, but his legacy of evil still lingers. As Middle-earth faces the threat of another dark lord, a party of elves departs Aman on a mission for the Valar, a mission of mercy long delayed.
Chapter 10 --- Good Morning
“Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning.”
Maya Angelou
*****
The mists of deep sleep were slow to slip away as he settled deeper into his warm nest of pillows and blankets. A slight curl to his lips marked the slow passage to wakefulness as his mind began to sort the various sounds of the morning --- ah, the rumble of waterfalls --- Imladris! The veil of elven sleep slowly lifted from silver-grey eyes and smiling lips parted to draw in a deep, satisfied breath. Full awareness returned and his first morning back in his home settled over him. The soft smile gracing Elrond’s lips gave way to a soft laugh as his joy sought a means of greater expression.
Looking about his chambers with satisfaction, he was pleased and, in no small measure, relieved that his rooms had been left as they were the day he departed for Aman. There had been no awkward sense of ‘settling in’ to a new space, but rather one of returning home after a long, tiring trip. He had slept deeply and awoke refreshed.
After the grueling hours spent in the Healing House, he had been relieved to escape to his chambers for the night. When a servant offered to show him to his rooms, he had been startled until the elleth had quickly clarified her reason for suggesting it was to allow her to “make sure the Lord of Imladris had everything he needed for his comfort.”
/It seemed so odd to be shown to chambers I inhabited for over 4000 years… as if I were a guest in my own house. Still, I was grateful Erestor had had my rooms returned to their former condition and that a hot bath was quickly drawn upon entering the rooms. I was indeed weary when I finally retired, but it was, at least, a weariness that had a reason. For so long, I have been tired to my very bones and what sleep I found seldom left me refreshed./
Thinking of the servant, Lomelinde had irritated him with her forward manner. He had been strangely reluctant to have her accompany him as her intent had been all to clear. She had made a point of stressing “everything he needed” a little too much. /A little too obvious for my tastes,/ he thought.
/Yes, all too clear what she was after --- the chance to become my mistress and elevate her standing in the household. She thinks highly of herself, that much was obvious./ Smirking, he decided, /more Glorfindel’s type than mine. I am not expecting a potential mistress to be madly in love with me, but I do not think a little regard and respect are too much to expect --- both of which were glaringly lacking in the elleth’s approach./
/Besides, I much prefer a subtle flirtation to an overt proposition. Aye, she was pretty enough, …but she had a hard edge to her./
The image of another elleth entered his mind. /Not like Seere. She showed great strength and ability last night while still being caring and compassionate; no she did not look hard in the least. And quite beautiful even exhausted after hours in the healing rooms. Now that is an elleth I would like to get to know better!/
His reaction to her still puzzled him. While he had long seen her in visions, he had had many visions over his long life and this was not the first time he had foreseen someone he was destined to meet. It was the first time, however, that he had felt an instant connection. He had been amazed to feel his heart start to race and had been overcome with a desire to pull her to him in a tight embrace.
He settled back into the warm comfort of his bed and let his mind conjure the image of the intriguing Seere. / Lirimaer, you have captured my attention unlike anyone I have met in … longer than I can recall. I am looking forward to spending time alone with you to discuss your visions and dreams now more than ever! I wonder…./
Sitting up suddenly, a second image slipped into his thoughts. /Erestor! By the Valar, I am laying here lusting after my dear friend’s daughter. This will not do! Nothing but trouble will come of thinking about her like that. There is no way I could make Erestor’s daughter my mistress and I am not ready to contemplate marriage./
*****
Now that he was sitting up, he shifted to bunch several pillows behind his back. Elrond settled back and positioned himself so he could enjoy the view out his open balcony door. Glancing down at his lap, he gave a rueful shake of his head. “Wonderful, the first erection I have had in a very long time and the one to inspire it cannot be touched. I need to put this ridiculous attraction behind me quickly. There is vital work to be done and an inappropriate interest would only make it more difficult.”
Sighing deeply, he kicked the covers off of his naked body and sat shivering as the chilly morning air assaulted his frame. Nights in early summer offered a pleasant respite from the heat of the Imladrian day as the mountain air cooled as it slide down the valley walls and passed through the mist of the waterfalls. Early morning retained a touch of that crisp chill, a gentle balm to ease one into the heat of the day.
Hoping the chilly air would cool his ardor, he sought less a balm to his senses and more a bracing reminder of the folly of failing to control his behavior. /I am over 7000 years old and I am acting like an elfling with his first crush!/
*****
Looking for a distraction, he let his mind drift to his view --- the tiny rainbows sparking in the thick dew still clinging to the trees and balcony railings. Several tiny birds were hopping about under the table where he and the twins had shared a late meal before retiring the evening before.
His deep joy at being with his sons again moved him beyond words. A smile returned to his lips as he remembered his sons’ arrival with a tray shortly after he had finished his bath. Their conversation had been of inconsequential matters, but it had been a welcomed end to the day. His only regret was that Arwen could no longer join them for one of their informal family dinners on the balcony, a tradition he and Celebrian had started when the twins were toddlers.
Arwen --- for the first time in hundreds of years he thought of his daughter without the pain in his heart robbing him of breath. While he still grieved that Arwen was not with them, he was still glad to be back home. Arwen’s warmth and beauty… her love of her family, her love for him was engrained in the very fiber of Imladris. For the first time since her passing, a passing he had felt even in Aman, he sensed her spirit again. The moment he rode into the valley he had felt her presence embrace him and he finally began to hope that he would see her, see Estel again, even if he had to wait to the end of time.
A sense of contentment was stirring in his fëa in a manner he had not felt in … /How long? Since before Celebrian sailed? The moment I realized I would lose Arwen? Or does it go back longer still, to the day Erenion died?/
Saying a prayer of thanks to the Valar and Eru, he began to consider why he had been allowed to return. For Elrond, this mountain sanctuary, built to shelter mortal and immortal alike, his Imladris which embodied his unique heritage, this place where he had made a home and raised his family, where he had retreated after the pain and loss in Mordor, this place had become the true sanctuary of his fëa.
On a profoundly deep level, he had always felt like he did not quite belong in Aman. He could never find the peace he craved because Aman was not all that he was. So they had allowed him to come home to Middle-earth, home to his valley of waterfalls, back to the only sanctuary he knew. For the peredhel, Imladris was his blessed land.
*****
Seeing movement just beyond the balcony railings, he tilted his head to the side to get a better look. / Elrohir and Legolas seem to be off for a morning swim in the Bruinen. Maybe I should join them and enjoy a swim as well as their company. Besides, a little cold water may be just what I need to face Erestor and not betray my thoughts./
Motivated by his plan, Elrond swung his feet to the floor and rose. He had just reached for his morning robe when a knock sounded on the outer door to his sitting room. Calling for his visitor to enter, he finished pulling on his robe and walked into the adjacent room belting his robe as he went.
Erestor stepped into the room carrying a breakfast tray. “Erestor, quel amrun. How are you this beautiful morn, mellon nin?” Wincing inwardly at how cheerful he sounded, he was relieved to find that the sight of his friend was sufficiently bracing to allow him to face him without any embarrassing evidence of his earlier ardor. (Good morning.)
Moving further into the room, Erestor smiled and said, “Quel amrun, Elrond. You seem quite cheerful this morning. I trust you slept well.”
Indicating the tray, he went on, “I thought we might have breakfast together as we often did in the past. We did not have time to talk yesterday and I was hoping we could do so this morning.”
“I would enjoy that, mellon nin. Shall we move to the balcony to enjoy the view and the cool breeze while it lasts? Before you knocked I was thinking how nice it would be to go outside,” he confessed.
Motioning for the Chief Counsellor to precede him, the pair stepped out onto the patio. “I sometimes thought I was remembering too fondly the beauty of this valley; that it could not be this lovely. Tis a joy to be here again and prove to myself my memories were correct.”
Taking, out of long habit, their ’usual’ seats, Elrond reached over and poured them both a cup of fragrant herbal tea. After adding a dollop of honey to his cup, he sank back into the cushions of his chair with a contented sigh happy to simply look out across the lush landscape before him.
“Are you telling me Imladris is more beautiful than Aman?”
Falling into an easy conversation as if they had shared their morning tea without interruption, he answered, “Nay, Aman is the most beautiful place I have ever seen.”
His eyes became unfocused as his sight turned inward and he tried to find the words to explain the past 750 years to Erestor. “When I arrived, I was so weary and broken that I do not think I would have survived much longer without the healing and peace I found in the Blessed Land. But, for me at least, it was only a partial peace. This place never stopped calling to me, never left my heart, my soul. I felt like a ship without rudder or anchor, adrift and lost in a sea that seemed both familiar and alien. I had no purpose, nothing to occupy my days except reading and studying.”
Refocusing on his amused friend, he smiled in return as he continued, “I know that must sound like my idea of the perfect existence as you know my love of both. And, it was for quite a few years, but as the years went by it lost its savor. Perhaps a better analogy is it was like being fed your favorite food and only that food everyday year after year. I grew to crave the other foods I had known, even the ones I did not like because they could add variety, spice, change to my day. The ones I expected to miss the least or be glad never to see on my plate ever again became the very ones I craved the most. They seemed the most real, the most vital because they were not of my choosing, not necessarily to my liking. Those are the ones that force you to make the best of what is offered or go hungry. I began to turn away from the once favored and go without rather than face yet more of the same. But, without something to sustain you, you begin to wither and fade.”
“You’re telling me you found the Blessed Land, the place of elven peace and healing… boring?” Erestor teased.
Chuckling softly, he finally understood. “Maybe that was the problem. It was the place of ‘elven’ peace and healing. I am half-elven. I wonder if Elros found mortality an easier fit for the isolation that comes with being half-blooded… not whole? Did my Arwen?” He looked away as his eyes misted over, a single tear slipping free.
A pale hand covered the slightly darker hand of the peredhel as it gripped the arm of his chair. Squeezing it gently, Erestor prompted, “You have come home, mellon nin. Why should you feel isolated here in the sanctuary you built, a place that reflects all that you are, in the company of elves and men and a dwarf and even a few other peredhil, a place where you are surrounded by the family that loves you?”
Turning his hand to grip the comforting hand of his friend, Elrond sighed. “I think that is the very reason the Valar let me come home, tinechor toror.” (my shield brother)
*****
Stepping away from the balcony door of the adjacent suite of rooms, golden eyes filled with tears of their own as one of those “other peredhil” took a deep breath to try and control the rush of empathy his words had evoked.