Knocking At Heaven's Door

Title: Knocking At Heaven's Door
Author: Emmess
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Everything I can think of without being overly gross and offensive.
Pairings: Um, yeah…everybody.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Tolkien, and really, not much of anything else.
Summery: Ever wonder what happens to fanfic writers after they die? Would heaven be heaven without Elves and sex? Um…no. No, it wouldn't.

Chapter 10
Rivendell Raunchiness


After a long, leisurely - well, actually there wasn't much leisure involved at all - bath with the twins, I finished getting dressed and packed for my first trip to Rivendell.

We traversed the lovely open meadow that separated Lorien from Imaldris, and arrived at the path that led up into the city, pausing to admire the beauty of it all. Green and lush, gleaming white and gold, Rivendell rose on either side of a gigantic, thundering waterfall. The noise level was incredible.

"Do you wish to have something to eat before meeting with our Ada?" Elrohir, ever the solicitous escort, asked.

"What?" I asked, cupping my hand to my ear, not being able to hear a blessed thing over the rushing, pounding water.

"Do you wish to eat?"

"WHAT?"

"DO YOU WANT TO EAT?"

"MEAT?"

"EAT!"

"WHO?"

"NOT…um..ME."

"NOT NOW! I THINK WE'D BETTER MEET WITH YOUR FATHER FIRST."

I couldn't understand why the twins were snorting and laughing as we made our way up the path to Elrond's House.

Arriving at the huge, ornately carved double doors that guarded the entry into Elrond's House, I noticed a small sign hung just to the right of the doors. Unfortunately, it was written in Elvish, and I couldn't read it. Shrugging, I assumed that it was one of those historical plaques that told of the importance of the history of the building - for example, "In the Third Age, The Fellowship of the Ring Slept Here." Either that, or perhaps it said something more mundane, like, "No Solicitors."

Elladan opened the doors for me and we stepped through into a very large atrium with glossy marble floors, rich red and purple velvet accents, and dark mahogany furniture scattered about in tasteful groupings.

"Well…better do it now," Elrohir said, unhooking his tunic.

"Now? In the middle of the atrium?" I asked, raising a brow at him.

"You wouldn't want to do it in the Great Room in front of Ada and the other Elves, would you? That would be disrespectful."

"I certainly don't want to show disrespect, but I thought you two were into that sort of thing."

"Huh?"

"Having sex in front of an audience…you just finished making me watch you."

"No…not sex…although I could do with a quickie just about now," Elrohir grinned, placing his hand on my breast and kissing me.

Pushing him away, I frowned. "Then what are you talking about?"

"Getting undressed - didn't you see the sign outside?"

"I thought it was a historical plaque."

"No…it said that nudity is not optional. Ada doesn't allow any clothing in the house."

"What?"

"Rivendell is a nudist resort, and clothing is disallowed."

"None? At all?"

"He has, on occasion, made an exception for crotchless panties..." Elrohir shrugged, divesting himself of his leggings.

"One time he allowed Grandmother to wear a leather catsuit, but that didn't last long. She kept squeaking against the marble, and it drove Ada nuts," Elladan added, now nude, his clothes neatly folded in a stack by the door.

"Well, at least I know where you two get it from," I laughed, quickly stripping out of my dress and shoes. Funny how that sort of thing becomes easier the more you do it.

"Now…about that quickie," Elrohir said, running his hands over my shoulders to my back and down to my rear. His erection poked me uncomfortably in the belly.

"No…no quickie. You're father has been very patient so far, and it wouldn't be right to keep him waiting any longer," I admonished, pushing him away.

Sighing, Elrohir took my left elbow, and Elladan my right, escorting me to the door that obviously led to the Great Hall, where Elrond would be waiting.

A servant, completely nude except for the dog collar he wore, bowed to us, and opened the door. My eyes couldn't help traveling up and down his form - he was an Elf after all, and just as easy on the eyes as any of them.

"Now, now," Elladan whispered in my ear, "no carousing with the help."

I frowned at him for reading my mind again, but quickly turned my attention to the trio of Elves who stood waiting at the head of the Great Hall. Well, two of the Elves were standing…the third was on his knees doing something interesting to the Lord of Imladris' scepter.


Elrond looked just as I remembered him from the welcoming dinner - with the exception of being completely nude but for his mithril crown. Tall and darker than other Elves, his mixed heritage showing through in coloring I supposed, his thick black hair hung free under his crown, forming a cape around his broad, well-developed shoulders. His chest was deep, narrowing to a trim waist and long, muscular legs.

A dark haired head blocked my view of Elrond's assets, and I raised an eyebrow when I realized that the head belonged to Erestor. I noticed that Erestor's body was every bit as lovely to behold as Elrond's, his firm backside perched on the back of his strong looking calves.

The third Elf was, of course, Glorfindel. Standing tall next to and slightly behind Elrond, he was as light as Elrond was dark, a golden Adonis in his altogether.

"Well, it's about time you three showed up. We've been waiting for hours!" Elrond groused, his dark eyes sweeping my form. "What have you been doing, and why couldn't you wait to do it until you got here?"

"We had a slight disagreement in the Lady's bath, Ada…" Elrohir attempted to explain, spreading his hands out in front of him.

"We argued…we roughhoused a bit…" Elladan continued, mimicking Elrohir's actions.

"In other words, you shagged each other again! I swear you two are worse than those three Silvan brothers! Milady, I apologize most humbly for my spawn's behavior. I trust that they at least made it up to you?"

"Oh, yes, My Lord, they most certainly did. Twice," I replied, smiling at the twins.

"Ouch! Erestor…mind your teeth!" Elrond yelped, swatting the top of the head of the dark haired Elf kneeling before him. He addressed me again saying, "You remember Glorfindel and Erestor from the welcoming feast?"

"Yes, My Lord, I do," I replied, smiling and nodding at Glorfindel. My smile froze on my face when I noticed that he was slowly stroking an erection that could choke a horse.

"Mae govannen, Milady," he said, his smile turning lecherous. I gulped, turning my attention once more to Elrond.

Elrond gazed at me with those dark, deep eyes of his, and I could practically feel them as they traversed my body. I turned to look for Elladan and Elrohir, who had become suspiciously quiet, and realized that they had quietly slipped from the room, leaving me alone with the three older Elves.

Elrond whispered a soft command to Erestor, who rose gracefully to his feet, turning to look at me. He smiled that debonair smile I remembered from the welcoming feast, and I noticed he was sporting quite an erection himself. He turned to head off Glorfindel, who was slowly inching his way toward me.

"Come here," Elrond ordered, crooking his finger at me. As I walked toward him, he sat down on his 'throne,' which was actually just an oversized, wicker fan chair. In the back of my mind, I giggled, thinking that his fanny was going to look like a waffle when he got up from sitting on that wicker seat.

He reached for me, picking me up easily at the waist, pulling me onto his lap. I knelt with a knee on either side of him, impaling myself on his throbbing Elfhood. His hands on my hips, he directed my momentum as I slowly rode him. In total control, as I figured an Elf Lord would want to be, he did not allow me to move faster than he wished, keeping the rhythm slow and even. I leaned down to kiss him, thinking he tasted differently than his sons, while my fingers caressed his dusky nipples.

Erestor had gone to work on Glorfindel, and I watched them out of the corner of my eye. Glorfindel's hand was fisted in Erestor's gleaming black tresses, pushing down to force Erestor to swallow him whole. His hips bucked up into Erestor's mouth, while one of Erestor's hands wrapped around Glorfindel's hips, gripping his rear.

Erestor's other hand stroked himself furiously as Glorfindel came, his golden head thrown backwards in ecstasy, a guttural moan filling the air. Within moments, Erestor pumped his seed over his fist, splattering Glorfindel's knees with his essence.

Elrond's lips found one of my nipples, teasing it, rolling it in his warm, soft mouth, his hands lifting my hips then pushing me down onto his shaft, driving me to a fevered pitch. I came, crying his name, just before feeling his release fill me. Panting, I laid my head on his shoulder, while he whispered in my ear, "Welcome to Rivendell."

The same servant who had let us into the Great Hall showed me to the room that would be mine during my stay in Elrond's House. He smiled and winked saucily at me as he left, closing the door softly behind him.

The room was…well…different. I wondered where in my subconscious they had delved to come with the idea for it, before I realized that the décor looked suspiciously like something out of an Austin Powers movie.

The huge round bed was covered in a horrible orange shaggy bedspread, which matched the wall to wall carpeting. It looked like a pumpkin had exploded in the middle of the bedroom. Of course, the ceiling over the bed was mirrored.

Track lighting lit the room, and the nightstand held an honest-to-goodness lava lamp (also orange). The bedroom was separated from the bath by a curtain comprised of strings of multicolored beads.

Framed posters of sixties rock bands in concert decorated the walls, including one, I noticed, from Woodstock. Peace signs and giant plastic neon colored daisies completed the wall décor.

After a brief knock, the door opened and Erestor poked his head into the room.

"Oh, Good Heavens…is this where they put you? It's ghastly. I told Elrond you would much prefer more sedate accommodations, and look where they put you!"

Giggling, I replied, "It's not so bad, Erestor…it's kind of funky."

"You are entirely too good a sport. Imagine, putting you in a room where one needs to vacuum the bedspread!" he said, shaking his head, his long black hair swaying. "Well, should you realize that this decorating atrocity is giving you nightmares, I'm sure we can find a more suitable room for you. I came to invite you to dinner this evening."

"With you?"

"Yes, with me…who did you think? Elvis?"

"Why, Erestor! Was that sarcasm?"

He smiled at me, winking. "I can be just as playful as anyone else…I just do it in better taste."

I laughed, accepting his invitation. He told me he would be back to escort me to dinner at sundown, before telling me to rest - it was likely to be long night. Quietly, he slipped back out the door, shutting it behind him.

I lay back on the orange shag bedspread, and quickly drifted off to sleep.