Isolation
folder
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
25
Views:
4,461
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
-Multi-Age › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
25
Views:
4,461
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Part 10
Part 10…
Despite Erestors expectations, Glorfindel did not immediately start asking questions. Instead he had talked about the weather, minor issues under debate at Imladris, Elrond and his temper tantrums, but so far not a single question. They had passed the morning beside the river like that, Glorfindel blithely babbling away with Erestor making small comments here and there. Deciding he could not handle another moment, let alone hour, waiting for Glorfindel to start questioning him. With his stomach already in knots as it was, he decided to perhaps ask a question of his own. He waited for Glorfindel to pause in his theatrical rendition of ‘fire-breathing Elrond in a fit over some prank-or-other’, which he had to confess was rather amusing, and softly inserted his question.
“Why the sudden interest in me Glorfindel?”
Glorfindel stopped mid-Elrond impersonation and lo at at Erestor. “Ah.” Sidling over to the other elf’s side, he settled himself close to Erestor, gazing out at the river. He had postponed his questions because he did not know quite how to ask them or how to start a conversation that would lead to the topics he desired to address; now he had an opening. “This trip just got me to thinking, I never really understood why we… clash… the way we do. It was not always so, not in the beginning at least.” Glorfindel paused to gather his thoughts as he remembered those early days when they had first met. “We got along once, for a short time…”
“Twelve days.” Was Erestors quiet interruption.
Glorfindel turned his head and observed Erestors profile as the other gazed out across the river, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Why did it end after twelve days? There was a time over the space of a few days when I thought we might even be… more, and then… then it was as though I woke up one morning and you were closed off to me… distant and composed. What changed?”
“Do you not know? Do you not remember?”
“No, I do not. If I did I would not have asked.”
A light exhaling of breath from the still form at his side and then silence as Erestor contemplated what to say, and how to say it. During this time Glorfindel began to feel edgy, worriedly thinking that perhaps he didn’t really want to know, because he had a sinking feeling in his gut it would not be to his liking. At length Erestor spoke.
“I had also thought we might become… more. There was something between us, a feeling I couldn't name. Perhaps I was foolish in this thinking, but I even speculated that we were kindred spirits, soul-mates even, but I was merely being juvenile, thinking that way.”
Even though he was dreading the answer, Glorfindel had to ask. “Then what changed?”
“The night of the celebration officially welcoming you to Imladris…” Erestors tone was steady, his gaze never wavering from the river. “It was nearing midnight and I went down to the cellar to collect a few more bottles of wine for the last guests who were not yet ready to retire. You followed me.”
Glorfindel felt his gut twist and although he did not remember what had happened he knew he had done something that had ruined their potential friendship, and possibly more. Swallowing he heard his voice, a tortured whisper ask “What did I do?”
“You kissed me. You wereher her inebriated actually.” A small twisting of the lips that could have almost passed for a smile. “You professed your undying love and affection for me and you…*ahem*… you attempted to seduce me.”
Erestor paused and Glorfindel would have sworn that the pounding of his heart drowned out the rushing sound of the nearby river as he held his breath.
“I turned you down; I did not want to… take advantage of your state of intoxication. I thought it would be unfair to do so. I took the wine back to the celebration and retired. The next morning I discovered that you had spent the night with Gildor of the Wandering Company. I was more hurt than I had a right to be I suppose, it was not as though I had a claim. I… put up a wall; I hid from you, not wanting you to see my hurt. After that I never got out of the habit of keeping you at a distance, of constantly wearing a mask… I was afraid.”
“Oh Erestor, I didn’t know. I do not remember much of that night, I think my last clear memory was of the two of us dancing together… spinning around and around, you even laughed, but even that's a little fuzzy. Later I convinced myself that had imagined it. As for the wine cellar... I can only assume that the alcohol made me bold, the Valar know I had wanted to make a move on you since laying eyes on you in Lord Elronds library that first day.” Glorfindel halted briefly, and then continued. “And Gildor… Gildor spent the night in my chambers but nothing… nothing happened, I passed out when he was helping me to bed, and he stayed with me. There did not seem to be any point in denying the rumors and speculation at the time. If I had known, remembered…” Glorfindel focused his crystal blue eyes on Erestors own black-brown, trying, without words to convey his regret and sorrow, seeing matching regret and sorrow reflected back at him. “I would have approached you earlier. Instead I let you keep me at a distance, never questioning why things changed…”
"It was not as if I gave you much of an opportunity."
“Do you think we could possibly start over? Make a fresh start with this trip… put the past and the bickering behind us?” Glorfindel waited, taking heart from the fact that Erestor smiled at him, a full smile that reached his eyes and caused them to sparkle.
“I would like that.”
TBC…
Despite Erestors expectations, Glorfindel did not immediately start asking questions. Instead he had talked about the weather, minor issues under debate at Imladris, Elrond and his temper tantrums, but so far not a single question. They had passed the morning beside the river like that, Glorfindel blithely babbling away with Erestor making small comments here and there. Deciding he could not handle another moment, let alone hour, waiting for Glorfindel to start questioning him. With his stomach already in knots as it was, he decided to perhaps ask a question of his own. He waited for Glorfindel to pause in his theatrical rendition of ‘fire-breathing Elrond in a fit over some prank-or-other’, which he had to confess was rather amusing, and softly inserted his question.
“Why the sudden interest in me Glorfindel?”
Glorfindel stopped mid-Elrond impersonation and lo at at Erestor. “Ah.” Sidling over to the other elf’s side, he settled himself close to Erestor, gazing out at the river. He had postponed his questions because he did not know quite how to ask them or how to start a conversation that would lead to the topics he desired to address; now he had an opening. “This trip just got me to thinking, I never really understood why we… clash… the way we do. It was not always so, not in the beginning at least.” Glorfindel paused to gather his thoughts as he remembered those early days when they had first met. “We got along once, for a short time…”
“Twelve days.” Was Erestors quiet interruption.
Glorfindel turned his head and observed Erestors profile as the other gazed out across the river, refusing to meet his gaze.
“Why did it end after twelve days? There was a time over the space of a few days when I thought we might even be… more, and then… then it was as though I woke up one morning and you were closed off to me… distant and composed. What changed?”
“Do you not know? Do you not remember?”
“No, I do not. If I did I would not have asked.”
A light exhaling of breath from the still form at his side and then silence as Erestor contemplated what to say, and how to say it. During this time Glorfindel began to feel edgy, worriedly thinking that perhaps he didn’t really want to know, because he had a sinking feeling in his gut it would not be to his liking. At length Erestor spoke.
“I had also thought we might become… more. There was something between us, a feeling I couldn't name. Perhaps I was foolish in this thinking, but I even speculated that we were kindred spirits, soul-mates even, but I was merely being juvenile, thinking that way.”
Even though he was dreading the answer, Glorfindel had to ask. “Then what changed?”
“The night of the celebration officially welcoming you to Imladris…” Erestors tone was steady, his gaze never wavering from the river. “It was nearing midnight and I went down to the cellar to collect a few more bottles of wine for the last guests who were not yet ready to retire. You followed me.”
Glorfindel felt his gut twist and although he did not remember what had happened he knew he had done something that had ruined their potential friendship, and possibly more. Swallowing he heard his voice, a tortured whisper ask “What did I do?”
“You kissed me. You wereher her inebriated actually.” A small twisting of the lips that could have almost passed for a smile. “You professed your undying love and affection for me and you…*ahem*… you attempted to seduce me.”
Erestor paused and Glorfindel would have sworn that the pounding of his heart drowned out the rushing sound of the nearby river as he held his breath.
“I turned you down; I did not want to… take advantage of your state of intoxication. I thought it would be unfair to do so. I took the wine back to the celebration and retired. The next morning I discovered that you had spent the night with Gildor of the Wandering Company. I was more hurt than I had a right to be I suppose, it was not as though I had a claim. I… put up a wall; I hid from you, not wanting you to see my hurt. After that I never got out of the habit of keeping you at a distance, of constantly wearing a mask… I was afraid.”
“Oh Erestor, I didn’t know. I do not remember much of that night, I think my last clear memory was of the two of us dancing together… spinning around and around, you even laughed, but even that's a little fuzzy. Later I convinced myself that had imagined it. As for the wine cellar... I can only assume that the alcohol made me bold, the Valar know I had wanted to make a move on you since laying eyes on you in Lord Elronds library that first day.” Glorfindel halted briefly, and then continued. “And Gildor… Gildor spent the night in my chambers but nothing… nothing happened, I passed out when he was helping me to bed, and he stayed with me. There did not seem to be any point in denying the rumors and speculation at the time. If I had known, remembered…” Glorfindel focused his crystal blue eyes on Erestors own black-brown, trying, without words to convey his regret and sorrow, seeing matching regret and sorrow reflected back at him. “I would have approached you earlier. Instead I let you keep me at a distance, never questioning why things changed…”
"It was not as if I gave you much of an opportunity."
“Do you think we could possibly start over? Make a fresh start with this trip… put the past and the bickering behind us?” Glorfindel waited, taking heart from the fact that Erestor smiled at him, a full smile that reached his eyes and caused them to sparkle.
“I would like that.”
TBC…