The Price of Pride
folder
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
61
Views:
1,852
Reviews:
53
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Multi-Age › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
61
Views:
1,852
Reviews:
53
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Lord of the Rings (and associated) book series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 10
Elvish translations
Pen-neth – young one
caun-neth – young prince
Chapter 10
“A problem, hir nín?” I could not imagine what problem could possibly exist. I was healed, and Arwen was still as much mine as she would ever be.
“Have you been injured, even scrapes or bruises, since you were last in Imladris, other than this current injury?”
“I am a warrior, Lord Elrond. What warrior does not occasionally have those kinds of minor injuries?” Elrond was a warrior himself. I did not imagine that he could have forgotten the kind of minor injuries that a warrior lived with regularly. Practice swords had dull edges, but they could still leave bruises, even scrapes if they slid across exposed skin.
“And have you noticed those injuries taking longer to heal than they used to?”
“I never paid attention. They healed, that was all I cared about. The only time I have ever noticed the speed of an injury healing was the time Arwen’s sword cut my hand here and it healed the same day.” I did not understand why he was asking me these questions.
Elrond looked pensive. “Did you ever have a more serious injury, one you could not treat yourself?”
“No. I have been lucky until this winter. What does this have to do with this problem you say I have?” I was growing impatient with the roundabout questions. I wished Elrond would get to his point so I could return to Arwen. We had plans to return to her waterfall, seeking some privacy. I was looking forward to making love to her again after so long.
“It appears, Legolas, that your healing ability has been compromised. You have taken months to recover from an injury that should have healed in a matter of weeks.”
“But I have recovered.”
“Yes, you have healed almost miraculously in the past three weeks, given your previous rate of recovery. Do you not find it odd, pen-neth, that in three weeks, you have recovered from an injury that kept you bedridden for months?” he asked incredulously
“I had not thought about it,” I admitted. “I just rejoiced in being free from pain again.”
“Well I have thought about it, and I am troubled by my conclusions.”
“Hir nín?” I prompted when he did not immediately continue.
“I warned you fifty years ago that Arwen was not for you.”
“And I have done nothing but fulfill the task I was given as her lover for her Cuivië,” I replied hotly.
“Nothing, Legolas? Will you deny that you have fallen in love with her?”
I could not deny it, though I knew Elrond wanted me to. I could not have Arwen, but I would not deny what I felt for her if asked. To do so would be to dishonor all that I felt. I only prayed that she would never ask me about my feelings. “No, I can not deny it, but what does that have to do with my healing?”
“You were not exactly fading before you came to Imladris, but when you arrived here and Arwen did not meet you, not only did your healing stop, your condition actually worsened. Your unrequited feelings for Arwen are weakening you, decreasing your ability to heal. Since her return, her presence and her devotion have strengthened you and helped you heal.”
“What does that mean?”
“I do not know for sure, but I suspect that this situation will occur again if you are injured badly and Arwen is not there to care for you. You must be careful, caun-neth. Your father can ill afford to lose you.”
“Are you saying I could die because someone else takes care of me?” I found that hard to believe.
“Not because someone else does, but because Arwen does not.” Elrond sighed. “I told you she was not for you, but you did not listen.”
“I listened,” I retorted, “but your vision does not rule my heart.”
“So I see. Do you truly understand the gravity of your situation, Legolas? In your current state of mind and heart, without Arwen to care fou, yu, you could fade from an otherwise minor injury. Not from a bruise, or a scrape, but anything that might take you to the healers. You are so proud of being a warrior. How do you expect to be a warrior in such a state?”
“Surely I am not the only warrior in love. How do others deal with it?”
“Others have their mates waiting at home to help care for them if they are injured. Arwen will not be in Mirkwood for you, and you cannot transfer to Imladris. Your father would nevermit mit it.”
“What do you propose I do?” I asked, trepidation in my voice.
“Forget Arwen. She cannot be yours, by tradition now as well as according to my vision. Find someone else to love.”
“Just like that,” I said bitterly. “I have loved her for fifty years, and you expect me to stop just because you say I should.”
“Fifty years is nothing to an Elf.”
“Could you stop loving the Lady Celebrian if her father ordered you to?” I challenged. “Could you do what you are ng mng me to do?”
I did not really expect Elrond to answer that question. Why should he humor one so young as me? But finally, he did answer. “No, Legolas, I could not,” igheighed, dejectedly. “I could not stop loving my wife just because someone said it was unwise. I would be left half-alive without her.”
“Then you know how I feel. I accepted your role for me in Arwen’s life. I condemned myself to living half a life because it was that or nothing. I will never speak of my love to her, and I will not stand in the way when she meets the one you say she is destined to love, but I cannot stop loving her to suit you. As long as she wants me as her lover, I will be her lover. When she no longer desires me, I will be her friend, though it will break my heart to let her go. I will not leave her while she still has a use for me.” I knew my anger was showing, but I resented Elrond, resented him putting me in this situation, even if he was doing so to fight the Shadow.
“You are long past your majority, caun-neth. I cannot force you to abide by my wishes. I will, however, inform your father of your situation.” I started to protest, but the look he gave me made me hold my silence. “He has a right to know, as your father and as your King. If you are ever too seriously injured to travel, he needs to know to send for Arwen, lest you fade despite yourself.”
“Are you sending me home, then?”
t qut quite yet. I want to make sure you have fully recovered the use of your leg before you go. Yu can train with the Imladris guards for a few weeks before you return home.” I took his words as a dismissal and rose to leave. My hand was reaching for the doorknob when I heard him say, “I am not heartless, Legolas. I see the joy you bring to each other. I hope that will be enough for you in the end.”
I hoped so as well. This whole experience had shown me a vulnerability I had not known I could possess, a vulnerability that stemmed from my role as Arwen’s lover. When I no longer had even that role, how much more vulnerable would I become?
Pen-neth – young one
caun-neth – young prince
Chapter 10
“A problem, hir nín?” I could not imagine what problem could possibly exist. I was healed, and Arwen was still as much mine as she would ever be.
“Have you been injured, even scrapes or bruises, since you were last in Imladris, other than this current injury?”
“I am a warrior, Lord Elrond. What warrior does not occasionally have those kinds of minor injuries?” Elrond was a warrior himself. I did not imagine that he could have forgotten the kind of minor injuries that a warrior lived with regularly. Practice swords had dull edges, but they could still leave bruises, even scrapes if they slid across exposed skin.
“And have you noticed those injuries taking longer to heal than they used to?”
“I never paid attention. They healed, that was all I cared about. The only time I have ever noticed the speed of an injury healing was the time Arwen’s sword cut my hand here and it healed the same day.” I did not understand why he was asking me these questions.
Elrond looked pensive. “Did you ever have a more serious injury, one you could not treat yourself?”
“No. I have been lucky until this winter. What does this have to do with this problem you say I have?” I was growing impatient with the roundabout questions. I wished Elrond would get to his point so I could return to Arwen. We had plans to return to her waterfall, seeking some privacy. I was looking forward to making love to her again after so long.
“It appears, Legolas, that your healing ability has been compromised. You have taken months to recover from an injury that should have healed in a matter of weeks.”
“But I have recovered.”
“Yes, you have healed almost miraculously in the past three weeks, given your previous rate of recovery. Do you not find it odd, pen-neth, that in three weeks, you have recovered from an injury that kept you bedridden for months?” he asked incredulously
“I had not thought about it,” I admitted. “I just rejoiced in being free from pain again.”
“Well I have thought about it, and I am troubled by my conclusions.”
“Hir nín?” I prompted when he did not immediately continue.
“I warned you fifty years ago that Arwen was not for you.”
“And I have done nothing but fulfill the task I was given as her lover for her Cuivië,” I replied hotly.
“Nothing, Legolas? Will you deny that you have fallen in love with her?”
I could not deny it, though I knew Elrond wanted me to. I could not have Arwen, but I would not deny what I felt for her if asked. To do so would be to dishonor all that I felt. I only prayed that she would never ask me about my feelings. “No, I can not deny it, but what does that have to do with my healing?”
“You were not exactly fading before you came to Imladris, but when you arrived here and Arwen did not meet you, not only did your healing stop, your condition actually worsened. Your unrequited feelings for Arwen are weakening you, decreasing your ability to heal. Since her return, her presence and her devotion have strengthened you and helped you heal.”
“What does that mean?”
“I do not know for sure, but I suspect that this situation will occur again if you are injured badly and Arwen is not there to care for you. You must be careful, caun-neth. Your father can ill afford to lose you.”
“Are you saying I could die because someone else takes care of me?” I found that hard to believe.
“Not because someone else does, but because Arwen does not.” Elrond sighed. “I told you she was not for you, but you did not listen.”
“I listened,” I retorted, “but your vision does not rule my heart.”
“So I see. Do you truly understand the gravity of your situation, Legolas? In your current state of mind and heart, without Arwen to care fou, yu, you could fade from an otherwise minor injury. Not from a bruise, or a scrape, but anything that might take you to the healers. You are so proud of being a warrior. How do you expect to be a warrior in such a state?”
“Surely I am not the only warrior in love. How do others deal with it?”
“Others have their mates waiting at home to help care for them if they are injured. Arwen will not be in Mirkwood for you, and you cannot transfer to Imladris. Your father would nevermit mit it.”
“What do you propose I do?” I asked, trepidation in my voice.
“Forget Arwen. She cannot be yours, by tradition now as well as according to my vision. Find someone else to love.”
“Just like that,” I said bitterly. “I have loved her for fifty years, and you expect me to stop just because you say I should.”
“Fifty years is nothing to an Elf.”
“Could you stop loving the Lady Celebrian if her father ordered you to?” I challenged. “Could you do what you are ng mng me to do?”
I did not really expect Elrond to answer that question. Why should he humor one so young as me? But finally, he did answer. “No, Legolas, I could not,” igheighed, dejectedly. “I could not stop loving my wife just because someone said it was unwise. I would be left half-alive without her.”
“Then you know how I feel. I accepted your role for me in Arwen’s life. I condemned myself to living half a life because it was that or nothing. I will never speak of my love to her, and I will not stand in the way when she meets the one you say she is destined to love, but I cannot stop loving her to suit you. As long as she wants me as her lover, I will be her lover. When she no longer desires me, I will be her friend, though it will break my heart to let her go. I will not leave her while she still has a use for me.” I knew my anger was showing, but I resented Elrond, resented him putting me in this situation, even if he was doing so to fight the Shadow.
“You are long past your majority, caun-neth. I cannot force you to abide by my wishes. I will, however, inform your father of your situation.” I started to protest, but the look he gave me made me hold my silence. “He has a right to know, as your father and as your King. If you are ever too seriously injured to travel, he needs to know to send for Arwen, lest you fade despite yourself.”
“Are you sending me home, then?”
t qut quite yet. I want to make sure you have fully recovered the use of your leg before you go. Yu can train with the Imladris guards for a few weeks before you return home.” I took his words as a dismissal and rose to leave. My hand was reaching for the doorknob when I heard him say, “I am not heartless, Legolas. I see the joy you bring to each other. I hope that will be enough for you in the end.”
I hoped so as well. This whole experience had shown me a vulnerability I had not known I could possess, a vulnerability that stemmed from my role as Arwen’s lover. When I no longer had even that role, how much more vulnerable would I become?