Return to Mirkwood COMPLETE

Title: Return to Mirkwood
Chapter Ten.
Author: Sarah
Pairing: Legolas/Gimli
Rating: PG this chapter.
Disclaimer: I love them and thank Tolkien for them. They are not mine. I claim only the original ideas and characters. The Legolas and Gimli I write belong solely to Tolkien. They are not related to the movie characters.
Archive: Axe and Bow. Cuddle Slash. Others please ask.
Feedback: Please. saraharizonaanne@hotpop.com
Author notes: I titled this story Return to Mirkwood because that is the name Legolas' home is most known by. I will gradually be phasing that name out of the story itself in favour of the names it was changed to: Eryn Lasgalen or Greenwood. Thank you to everyone who gave me fb. The encouragement helps me very much. Thank you to erobey for her guidance and aid. Thank you to Nefertiti. Thank you to Marigold for the beta work and for telling me I should write this story. Any mistakes left are mine. Marigold went over the chapter several times with her special touch. I am very grateful.
Thank you to Brazgirl, Sivan, and Nina for the nice reviews. I'm always glad to know what someone liked in a chapter.


Gimli sat against an evergreen tree with a puzzle Lisse had given him. It was different from the types of puzzles he was used to. It sat in a tray and had little wooden pieces that slid around the board. One could not just pick the pieces up. They had to be moved in the tray and sometimes one part that was correct would have to be shifted in order to fit other pieces around it. The whole formed a picture of birds against a dark winter sky. It had been made for adults and designed to be difficult. Gimli shoved a few of the pieces around and leaned back to consider the whole thing.

The puzzle had the advantage of being portable, it even had a handle, and Gimli had brought it with him when Legolas had talked him into a walk. When they had reached the doors, Gimli had protested that it was raining.

"It is only a light rain, Gimli, and will soon cease. I shall find us a dry spot under a nice tree."

Gimli had complained a little for the sake of doing so but in truth he found that the wet fallen leaves had made the woods seem new. The reds had never appeared so bright and the oranges and yellows had a gleam he had never seen before. The forest had revealed a melody that spoke of bells and elven singing to Gimli.

His elf had stopped to contemplate every seedling there was but Gimli, enraptured by the music, had no complaints about having the walk drawn out. When Legolas began to tell him how broad-leafed trees could be identified by their autumn colour, Gimli's thoughts were that they each had a different bell sound, too. He had looked at Legolas in awe. Was he sensing the song through the bond?

Legolas, who was clearly happy himself, alternated between a few comments to Gimli about the forest, and humming and singing softly the whole way to the tree where they now sat. His fair voice always seemed to blend perfectly with the song Gimli kept hearing and the dwarf marvelled anew at his elf.

As Gimli's fingers worked on the puzzle his mind was still dwelling on the wonder. The spruce he leaned against was silent to him, nothing more than what a tree always was but the tune was remembered.

Gimli's thoughts strayed to Fangorn and his first encounter with this unfamiliar music. It had been their last full day and night in that forest and he was finally comfortable with the place. *Or at least as comfortable as any dwarf could be there,* he thought. He had throughout the entire day felt there was something just beyond his hearing. He had discovered that straining to hear it faded the sound completely but as he relaxed against Legolas, he caught the snatches of music for a brief second. Gimli had attempted to explain it to Legolas but unsure himself of what was happening his words had not been plain enough.

Legolas had thought that he was being asked what he heard in Fangorn and had answered with, "The forest sings. I wish you could listen to it, Gimli. I would give much for you to be able to appreciate the joy of it if only once." Legolas' voice was melancholy and Gimli had not continued for fear of saddening his elf if he was mistaken about what he believed he had heard.

When they had first arrived in Mirkwood Gimli had detected nothing out of the ordinary and he decided that what he had perceived before had been due to some magic in Fangorn. Mirkwood had made him uncomfortable. He did not like eyes staring at him in the dark. Even when Legolas had explained what creatures the eyes belonged to, Gimli had not felt at ease. He wished they would find something to stare at besides him.

Yet when he had awakened the next morning nestled in Legolas' arms the music had been there. It was very dim and extremely faint and not the same as that which he had heard in Fangorn but it was there. Gimli had mulled over it. The music was beautiful but he had not spoken of it. Partly because Legolas had enough concerns and Gimli had concentrated on being support for his elf. There was, also, the fact that Gimli was only aware of the harmony briefly. It never lasted long enough for him to be confident of what he was listening to. He had even had a few thoughts about his sanity. So he had kept silent.

Today, however, there could be no mistaking what he had heard or what the music was.

The song. The song that was denied his people. A wonder that no other dwarf had ever heard.

Legolas was happy now and they should talk. He resolved to tell Legolas of the music along with asking about a few other things. His elf had, true to his word, taken them to a dry spot under the huge tree. Legolas had found an opening in the branches and inside was dry and cosy. They were surrounded by branches that gave them privacy and shelter. It was dim and felt similar to a cave to the dwarf.

Gimli came out of his rapturous thoughts to scrutinise his elf. Legolas was lying with his legs across Gimli's lap and his eyes focused upward into the branches.

"Let me guess," Gimli said, "You are looking at a ladybird. It is on the third branch from the top and doing something that holds your interest."

Legolas laughed. "Nay, I was studying raindrops and making sure none fell this way so you could say that I failed to find you a dry area."

Gimli looked at Legolas doubtfully. He was never sure how to take such statements.

Seeing the look on Gimli's face, Legolas smiled. "I can't control the raindrops but I do know the trees and how they are built. This kind gives good protection from rain and I was being happy about the tree and thanking it for the comfort. It likes you, Gimli. Thinks you are an unusual and special being. I, of course, agree completely. I've known this tree since it was but a seedling."

Gimli glanced up at the tree he was resting against and back at Legolas. His elf appeared so young. Not old enough to have watched a tree grow and mature yet he knew Legolas was indeed that old. After a few minutes, Gimli asked, "Legolas, does Ada mean father?"

"Yes."

"Why does only Tasar call your Lord Ada?" Gimli had a strategy for the puzzle now and he began to shuffle the pieces around.

"Celduil and I deemed it was too immature to call him Ada after we were hundreds of years old but Tasar...When Celduil's oldest, Varyar, came of age Tasar felt he was no longer needed as an heir. I think he was concerned that his importance to our Lord had lessened. I don't know how it was solved but they've been very close since and he's never stopped calling our Lord Ada."

Gimli worked with the puzzle for a few minutes and then said, "What is all this about the eyes?"

"You can tell an elf that is bonded by looking in their eyes."

"I can't. I saw nothing in Tasar's eyes."

"Nor in mine, either, beloved?"

"No. I..." A sudden memory came to Gimli. "At Helm's Deep, Merry said he missed Pippin. And I remember thinking how much I'd miss my elf if he was separated from me and I looked over at you and you met my eyes. It almost took my breath away because I thought I could see what we had been, what we were, and what we will be reflected in your eyes. I remember when I first noticed your eyes shortly after the Quest began but at Helm's Deep I observed so much more. I still feel as if I can see a reflection of us sometimes in your eyes. It seems fanciful."


"You are observing our bond."

"Tasar and Lisse are bonded though and their eyes show me nothing."

"Another elf can tell but if you see ours that is all I care about and more than I ever dared hope for. Besides, in time, you might come to know elves well enough to be able to discern their bonds. I am indeed a happy elf."

Legolas gazed at Gimli with admiration.

Gimli did not feel so joyful. There were several things they needed to talk about and he wasn't looking forward to it. Deciding to start with something that was not likely to ruin Legolas' happy mood Gimli began, "Sometimes, when I want to tell you something of dwarven culture, I feel as if every dwarf that ever existed is looking at me aghast that I would divulge what is not to be discussed. And this puzzle. It is how I think, too, in my desire to tell you of our ways. Where to start? With what? What if you look at me like you've never heard anything so foolish in your life?"

Legolas smiled and said, "I promise to keep such expressions off my face if that will help."

Gimli took a deep breath. "The issue about my house. I'm of two minds on it. It would make you equal with any dwarf of my family, more so perhaps than some, as you are my mate. And that is good. Though I worry if you will know how to respond the first time you are treated as a dwarf and not as an elf. The main disadvantages are that you may find yourself asked for your input about anything that concerns elves and you will have yet another King to answer to. I expect that to be minimal as we will not be in Erebor. However..." Gimli looked up at Legolas who was watching him. "The tattoo I have on my ankle shows what house I belong to. You will be asked to receive one and I have objections to it."

"Why?"

"I do not like changing anything about you. You are perfect the way you are."

When Legolas said nothing, Gimli said, "My elf?"

"Whose decision do you consider this to be?"

"Yours unless you wish otherwise. I do think before you make a decision you should talk to Naur as he can give you a much better idea of the laws and the ramifications either way."

"And if you were the one to decide it?"

Gimli paused with the puzzle and answered, "I'd probably say we should despite my objections."

"Then I will talk to Naur when we are in Erebor and choose."

Gimli finished with the puzzle and went to set it aside.

"You've finished that already?" Amusement coloured Legolas' voice. "It is of birds against a winter sky, Gimli. I expected that it would present more of a challenge."

Gimli chuckled. "I am aware of your illusion that I never looked up at anything until you came along and insisted I do so."

Gimli felt ready to try a subject he anticipated might be unpleasant. "Legolas, I want to know something, but it will probably be a painful subject for you."

"Ask, meleth- nín.


"Your Lord. How did he survive the death of your mother?"

Legolas frowned and reached for Gimli's hand. "He almost did not. They loved each other very much but I don't believe they were as close as Tasar and Lisse are. They both had parts of their lives untouched by the other. Still we came close to losing him. We did everything we could for him. Gimli, you are right to ask, I do need to tell you this part of my life."

Legolas put his hand into Gimli's palm and said, "I didn't think much of Lisse back then. Honestly, I thought she was not very intelligent. I've known her all my life and I had developed my own perceptions about her. My thinking was that she always agrees with Tasar and never has an opinion of her own. What I didn't know is that out of respect, she refuses to disagree in public saving any disagreements to be discussed in private."

Gimli did not understand how this answered his question but he was sure Legolas had a reason for making this a part of his reply. He enclosed Legolas' hand in his own and listened.

"We were all very worried over our Lord. We took over his duties and watched nearly helpless as he slowly faded away from us. We were desperate to keep him here with us. Finally Lisse said, ' We should make him feel he can't leave us. That he is essential to the well being of his family and of Mirkwood. We should stop sparing him the problems. Tell him the whole kingdom mourns and it aches for his guidance.' We decided that we had nothing to lose. He was no longer even talking to us. We lay before him every problem there was for his decision and even invented a few. We brought Celduil's newborn in and left him with the infant for an hour. We stopped hiding our sadness and grieved in front of him. It seemed mad and cruel but it worked, Gimli."

Legolas smiled. "Celduil was telling him a long and mostly untrue story of a spider discovered in a dwelling and someone trying to remove it by singing. And our Lord finally responded by saying, 'Have you simply lost your sanity or has the whole kingdom been struck by stupidity? I'm not even to be allowed to die in peace.' And in a way, it was Lisse's wisdom that paved the way for our own friendship. At the beginning of the Quest, whenever I imagined you found my very presence offensive, I would remember how I misjudged Lisse and think, 'if he doesn't outright say he hates elves than I won't assume that he does.' "

Gimli put his other hand on Legolas' chest.”You have a good heart, my elf. Often do I think so."

Gimli felt a bit of hope. It was survivable. Legolas would need to have his family around him. Surely, as different as they were, they would continue to have separate areas of their lives. Celduil, however, was most certainly right. The stronger the bond the less chance that Legolas would outlive the breaking of it. Yet, it would not be right to pull back or let it weaken with lack of nurturing. Not when they both longed for its growth so much. This would have to be dealt with in the future but for the present there were other topics to be discussed.

"Legolas, what did you overhear?"

Legolas sighed. "The rain has ended." He was silent for a few minutes and Gimli touched his knee.

"Lie down on the blanket next to me, meldiramin. If I am to continue to talk of unpleasant subjects, I want to be surrounded by your arms while I do so." Legolas replied. He swung his legs off Gimli's lap and the dwarf moved to his side and held him close.

Legolas put his head on Gimli's shoulder. "I overheard only a few things. Not on purpose. It was close to the dinner hour and I was hunting for you. It happened only once, as I was careful not to put myself in a position where I might overhear again. Still, I stood too long. Targ said that he thought I was overly honoured because most dwarves would not be willing to take an elf to their bed. Not for any love because everyone in Middle-earth knows how Elves are and he made an allegation that if I'm a thousand years old then I've likely had a thousand lovers. I did not stay to hear more. It was one thing to listen at a door when I knew you were cognisant of me doing so and you warned that I could hear. This, however, seemed dishonourable. I knew you'd defend me."

Legolas was calm but Gimli did not see how hearing this could not have hurt. He ran his fingers through the blonde hair. "Why did you not tell me this before?"

"I tried to Gimli. I just kept thinking that it would be better confessed in your arms but then once you held me...I'm sorry but my thoughts went elsewhere and our love is so much that I was not overly concerned with his charges."

Legolas went on in a quieter, more serious tone, "I did not feel upset about Targ's comments until the party when we arrived here. Gimli, dwarves are known for their jealousy and everyone wanted to talk to me so I was surrounded by other elves unknown to you yet you displayed no concern over my past, only about what happened with your father. I confess I was beginning to feel jealous of your father. At least, I thought, his past is cared about. I began wondering if Targ's allegations bothered you to the point that you had decided to have no feelings on the matter. It was then everything that I overheard began to sting. I don't really yearn to have you jealous. I just want you to..." Legolas looked up at the tree. "I don't know what I want Gimli."

Gimli had several thoughts about Legolas' confusion and an idea of what his love required. Targ's assertions had caused him to ponder deeply on how he felt and how he was going to deal with the many years his elf had lived and those thoughts had included the issue of Legolas' former lovers he might have to meet at Mirkwood. He responded, "Legolas, we need to change something."

"And that is?"

"From now on when I sit with my pipe, you need to talk, not stare at me lustfully. We should have a time we've agreed on that we inform each other of any circumstance that has occurred and that shall be the time. Plus, it would aid us in learning what we need to in order to continue well in our love."

"You are right. Although it pleases me to stare at you."

Gimli put a hand firmly on Legolas' shoulder and said, "I trust I can help you understand my position on the past. I'm going to talk about this matter and something else, too, for to me, it ties together." Legolas' fingers had gone to Gimli's beard and he was gripping rather tightly but Gimli said nothing about it.

"When our love was very new your age was a concern for me. I foolishly felt that I will be such a small part of the span of your immortality that I could not mean to you what you are to me. I no longer feel that way. I may truly live only a short part of your lifespan but I'm the person that you are willing to risk everything for and that proves to me that I am of great value to you. And Legolas, you could hold onto my beard with a little less strength."

"Sorry." The fingers unclenched a bit but Gimli could tell his elf feared what his next words might be. Gimli was going to add that beards were not meant to give comfort but before the words were said, Legolas had buried his face in the dwarf's beard.

*Legolas had taught him there were many uses for beards.* Gimli concluded. Gimli wished Legolas did not expect pain from his words but he was very grateful that his elf clearly trusted in his honesty.

"I do care about your past. I asked you often in Gondor about your days before we met. I know of many of your years and hopefully will learn more. As for lovers we have had in the past, we are new to each other are we not? What came before is not the same. Our love is such that there can be no comparison. And you may pay a price for loving me that you would not if your heart could accept one of your own. So I know I mean much more to you than anyone prior. I see no need to be envious of a former lover or of who talks to you for I know my importance to you. Besides, we dwarves are not blind despite what you and your people often think. I can tell you are as surprised by the passion betwixt us as I am."

Legolas laughed and his fingers began to softly caress Gimli's beard. "That is an understatement. I'm surprised, overwhelmed, and sometimes even fearful of it. By the stars, Gimli, I do not know what caused the fire between us but I've only experienced one thing stronger in my life. That stronger feeling is my love for you and it, too, scares me but in a good way. I cannot fathom what I did to deserve such love but always I am thankful and I offer praise to your Creator for truly I love both the way you are and how you are fashioned. I delight in you, I feel joy in each touch both given and received, and I realise you feel the same toward me and my heart holds happiness that I never knew existed before."

Legolas paused and laid his head on Gimli's chest, his fingers still moving tenderly through his dwarf's beard as he said, "I do not know how you manage to decipher so often what to say to put to rest my troubled thoughts, especially when I cannot express them, but I am very grateful. You are correct. We need to converse more. I should have told you the first time I noticed the bond in your eyes, for instance, but as we were passionately locked together at the time...Later, though, I should have said something. I simply didn't want to sadden you by having to also tell you all it can mean between two elves: the sensing of the other's feelings, an instinct about the other and much else I haven't told you. No more of that. It is clear to me that our bonding is not limited by your being a dwarf. I believe we are doing very well despite not always communicating as we should. I sense our bond even in my rest now."

"Aye, we must be doing all right, my beloved, as our love seems to me to grow more powerful by the day. We did talk in Minas Tirith, though clearly not enough. Our future plans were much discussed and we were better prepared for your Lord calling for a contract because we had already dealt with our conduct during times of separation."

Legolas nodded. "No questions remaining on that. It is not possible for me to take a lover just because we are apart for a while. I could not abide another's touch now. It is well you feel the same as I would hate to be held responsible for what I might do to any person who dared to touch you in an intimate fashion. I am convinced that we will both struggle during any absence from each other. I will not be surprised to find out that you are right, though: it will be easier for you as you can work happily until exhaustion, fall into bed tired and sleep, thereby avoiding your body's other wants. Whereas I shall find it very difficult indeed to reach a state where tiredness overcomes my desire for you. I will probably do most of my resting while working in order to keep away from a lonely bed."

He sounded so mournful that Gimli who normally would have felt humour about the situation felt only sympathy instead. He said, "Remember my one love, if you cannot leave Ithilien and our time apart becomes too long for you to bear, you can send for me. No disgrace in that. I know I will be back in Ithilien unexpectedly at times. I don't intend to let my pride stop me. Besides, it will be interesting to me to see Naur's face when I suddenly hand it all over to him and leave with no warning." Gimli chuckled.

Gimli's thoughts went back to that night in Minas Tirith. He had meditated on Targ's beliefs for over a week and had sorrowfully decided that he could not be certain of the perspective of elves and so reluctantly had offered Legolas the option of taking a lover in Ithilien. The dismay on Legolas' face had been an adequate answer. "Is this the way of your people?" he had demanded of Gimli. The dwarf had assured him that it was not. They had spent hours afterwards conversing not only on how the separations would be dealt with but, also, on what each meant by faithfulness down to the last detail.

"It was good that this was settled so it did not have to be discussed while we were trying to decide about the contract. Better always to talk when neither of us is already upset. We would do better to converse more. Starting this instant. I have been deliberating over something but today I am certain. “

He stopped. Perhaps this would not be so easily done. "My people...They don't..." Gimli groaned. He felt the disapproving stare of every dwarf there ever was. *Why had he been taught to be so secretive?*

Legolas tugged at his beard and said, "Are all those dwarves bothering you again? Command them to go away. You belong to an elf and he wants you to reveal all to him."

Legolas' words, somehow, allayed Gimli's discomfort. He began again. "My people do not hear the song. It is to our sorrow. Some of us, in anger, deny it exists but none really believe so."

Legolas had moved up and regarded his dwarf sorrowfully. He began to say something but Gimli laid a finger across his lips. "You were pointing out trees and their colours to me. My elf, the red ones have a deep bell sound. The yellow ones have a lighter sound and the ones still green tinkle with a light, high melody."

Gimli saw Legolas' astonishment and continued, "Behind it all is a slow music and floating on the air is a song but I cannot discern the words. They are too faint but I am positive they are there. Your singing blends in harmony with the music and adds wonderfully to the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. One could be enchanted by it and forget all else. I think I know what the words were about even though I could not precisely hear them. The trees were offering praise for the rain." Gimli stopped for breath and noticed Legolas appeared to be so shocked he was speechless.

Gimli waited but after a few minutes during which Legolas continued to stare in amazement, he added, "I understand that I'm only aware of fragments. There are music and words I cannot catch. I noticed, for instance, that those," he pointed to a big tree opposite from them, "have a sound much like a wooden bell so I presume that all the trees have a different note and resonance and that there is more to the music than bells and elven singing but that I can not hear it in full. If this is all I am ever able to descry, I will not complain. I do not hear it all of the time. I do not perceive it now. I believe I will again at times as there can be no doubt that it is due to the bond we have. It is wonderful, enthralling, Legolas. 'Tis a great gift you have given me."

Legolas grabbed Gimli, pulled his dwarf into his arms. Legolas held him very tightly. Gimli felt a tremble run through the elf's body. "Amin mela lle. Gimli, how good you are for my heart. The thought once was in my mind to fear that you would have to give up too much for our love. I could no longer survive without you but you do not need me in the same way. If I can by our bonding give you such gifts then my heart is at rest with this concern, too."

Gimli returned Legolas' hold and meeting his eyes replied, "I might survive but I would not wish to live without you. You are a part of who I am and if something happened to you, half my spirit would be ripped from me."

Legolas wrapped a leg around Gimli and said, "If I promise to tell you everything about elven bonds on the way back, may I partake of other pleasures now, meleth?" His lips brushed Gimli's in a promise of bliss and he laid a hand on Gimli's hip.

Gimli could only nod as his ability to form words disappeared into the heat that was igniting inside him. Legolas' lips captured his own and all else vanished.

Gimli's one thought before the fire burned between them was that he finally understood how two elves could stay together for all eternity. Because forever could not give him enough of Legolas' kisses and the consuming fire of their love.

TBC