This, And My Heart Beside *added ch. 20/part 1*

I owe everyone another huge apology! I told you that Ilandros would figure into this chapter, but other things seemed more important at the time. We're almost there though, I promise. And I shall try to never lie to you again. :o)

CHAPTER 10


“I think that is everything,” Legolas said as he looked over the bags he’d packed for the journey to visit his friend, Isalith. The provisions had been loaded onto the backs of two horses. He wasn’t taking that much with him; not much would be *needed*. Other than clothing, books, and of course, his bow and arrows, his basic needs would be provided for in Ilandros. “Here they come,” he said to Thranduil, when he saw his mother approaching, with Hania in tow. His voice was subdued; he’d been dreading this all day.

His father laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Your sister will survive this, yondo nin. We *all* will, I promise you.”

Legolas nodded slightly, not entirely convinced. As Naniel and her daughter drew near, the Prince saw the confusion in Hania’s little face, as she gazed about at the horses and the mounted guards who waited for him. Belorfilad and the Elves under his command had removed themselves to a distance far enough away to give the famirivarivacy as they said their goodbyes.

“Naneth,” Legolas said softly as he enfolded his mother in his arms. She clutched him tightly, whispering in his ear, “You must not worry, lisse. Enjoy yourself; all will be well here. Give our love to all three of them for us.”

The Prince pressed a lingering kiss to her cheek before letting her go and turning to Thranduil. His father’s strong arms enveloped him in a powerful embrace that took him by surprise. It was hard, knowing that his family would miss him so, and yet it was paradoxically comforting. Legolas basked in Thranduil’s uninhibited display of love for a few more seconds before speaking softly into his father’s ear. “I should not delay this any longer.”

The King nodded and gave his son an encouraging smile, before stepping aside. Hania looked up at her brother suspiciously.

“Cua,” he began, as he knelt before her, “I will be away for a while, but I shall be home again before you know it.” Her eyes narrowed in doubt. Was this another of her brother’s games? The grave expression in his eyes told her it wasn’t, and she began backing away from him, slowly shaking her head in disbelief. Legolas held out his arms to her.

“Will you not give me a kiss to take with me on my journey?” he pleaded.

Clouds gathered in Hania’s violet eyes as her brows drew together, and she turned her back angrily on her brother. Running to Thranduil, she held up her arms to him in a silent request to be held, and he picked her up, cradling her in his arms. She would not look at Legolas.

“Hania,” the King said disapprovingly, “Legolas wants only to say goodbye. He will miss you while he is away; and you will miss him.”

She refused to grant her brother’s wish, as she scowled over her father’s shoulder, in the general direction of the woods behind him.

Legolas’ shoulders slumped in defeat, and when he spoke, the hurt in his voice was evident. “Hania, I am sorry you cannot forgive me for this. I am not leaving to upset you. I love you, my heart, and I shall think about you everyday. I hope you will think of *me*.” Still no reply, and the Prince looked helplessly to his mother and father. Naniel smiled sadly, while Thranduil mouthed the words “go now” reassuringly. Legolas turned and walked to his horse, looking back one more time before mounting. Hania was now watching him, but her eyes were accusing and the look of betrayal on her small face wrenched his heart. He raised one hand hopefully in farewell. Her only response was a stony stare, and Legolas conceded defeat finally, swinging himself effortlessly into the saddle and taking up the reins. He waved a final time to Naniel and Thranduil and gently urged his horse forward to meet Belorfilad and the Guards that would be their escort. The Captain nodded to him and fell in beside him, while two guards led the group and two more brought up the rear, pulling the pack horses behind them.

In her father’s arms, Hania watched her brother’s back as he rode away from her, and her little chest began to heave with emotion. Thranduil looked at her in dismay, when he felt something surging inside her, threatening to spill forth. Her lips were pressed tightly together as she struggled to contain the pain that was unlike anything she’d ever felt before, but she didn’t have the strength. She crumbled.

“Legolas!” the scream tore from her throat. The King and Queen looked at her in stunned amazement.

Legolas wheeled his horse around immediately and was in time to see her calling to him. A dazzling smile lit his face, and he swung one leg over the horse’s head, sliding gracefully to the ground and running toward his family. Hania pushed against Thranduil’s chest with both hands.

“Down Ada, down!” she demanded as her little legs kicked frantically. Wordlessly, ht het her on the ground; he and Naniel stared open-mouthed at their daughter as she ran to Legolas. When they reached each other, he dropped to his knees and Hania leapt into his arms, knocking him backward and sending him sprawling. He lay on the grass laughing heartily as he closed his arms about her and squeezed.

“You can speak!” he said joyfully. “Cua, why did you not do so before?”

She shrugged shyly, and her brother gazed at her dubiously. “Hania …..” he prodded.

Reluctantly she red ied in a small voice, “At first, it was because if I did *not* speak, you and Ada would give me things, without being asked. Later, I was afraid to let you know that I could speak because,” she paused, “because then you might not think I was special anymore.”

Legolas grinned. “Why, you little ……” he left the accusation unspoken. “Naneth was right; Ada and I have spoiled you shamelessly!”

The Elven child hung her head, and the Prince gently placed a finger under her chin and raised her face. His tone was serious now. “Do you not know how essential you are to me? Hear me, little sister. Even before you were conceived, I would pray to Eru every night, asking him to send you to me. And wheneth eth carried you inside her, I prayed that nothing would go wrong. I lived for your arrival and when you came to us, I knew our family was finally whole. Nothing you can or *cannot* do, could make you more special to me. Promise me you will never think such a thing again.”

Relief flooded Hania’s face, and she beamed at her brother, nodding. Thranduil and Naniel ran to their children and dropped to the ground beside them. They had heard nearly everything that had been said between their children.

“Hania!” Naniel cried, as her husband gaped at his daughter in astonishment. The child turned to her parents remorsefully.

“I am sorry, Naneth and Ada. I did not mean to lie.” Her contrition was both clear and genuine.

From where he kneeled on the grass beside Legolas, Thranduil reached out to cup his daughter’s tiny face in his hand.

nee need never resort to trickery to gain attention, my darling vende. *Nothing* is more important to me than you, Legolas, and Naneth. Remember that.”

Hania smiled sweetly and nodded, before facing her brother again. “I am still angry with you for going away,” she said firmly.

“So angry that you will not kiss me goodbye?” Legolas asked tealy. ly.

“Perhaps,” she played along, raising her chin defiantly. But after mere seconds, she couldn’t keep up the charade any longer, and she relented, laying her head on her brother’s chest, listening contentedly to his comforting heartbeat. “I shall miss you, toron,” she said in a small voice, “but I know that you miss Isalith, too.”

“I do,” Legolas answered solemnly. “I promise you that the time we are apart will pass by quickly, though. And I have a favor to ask of you.” He leaned forward to whisper in her delicate ear, “I need you to look after Ada and Naneth, while I am away. They will need someone to cheer them up.”

Hania nodded decisively; if her mother and father needed her, of course she would help them. The thought of looking after someone else rather appealed to her, she realized.

“I am still waiting,” Legolas reminded her, then laughed at her blank expression. “You owe me a kiss?”

Hania smiled then and wound her arms around his neck, as she placed a loud, smacking kiss on his cheek. Brother and sister said goodbye properly, and the Prince remounted his horse, catching up with the Guards who waited patiently for him.

“All is well?” Belorfilad asked, cocking one eyebrow.

Legolas smiled serenely. “It is *now*,” he replied. “Belorfilad, did you know that my sister can speak?”

The Captain had actually known for almost one year, due only to the fact that he’d overheard her talking to herself early one morning as she frantically searched the corridors for her missing doll. She had looked around surreptitiously and often to be sure that no one else was present, as she searched. Belorfilad pressed himself into a dark corner as she ran by, muttering that “Naneth will be very upset” if she had lost her favorite doll. He stood in the shadows for a moment, uncertain of what he should do with his newfound knowledge. In the end, he kept it to himself, reasoning that it was the private business of the family, and that the Princess must surely have a reason for remaining silent. Although he was relieved that it was out in the open now, he chose his words carefully as the party rode slowly toward the road that would lead them to Ilandros.

A small smile played about his lips. “In truth, Highness, I hatrontrongly suspected it for some time.”


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The first day of the journey was nearly at an end, and the Prince and his Guard had been riding quietly for some time. The relationship between Legolas and Belorfilad allowed for that; even long silences between them were comfortable and effortless. The Captain was more than a protector; he was a trusted friend. During the course of the day, Legolas had been remembering his first encounter with the Elves of Ilandros, and the friendship of a lifetime that he’d found with Isalith.

Legolas smiled to himself, as he replayed in his mind what took place upon the departure of King Tyrion, Queen Anylinde, and Prince Isalith. The royal family had almost reached the lane that led to the road to Ilandros, when Tyrion turned in his saddle. A bright smile illuminated his beautiful golden face, as he addressed the Prince of Mirkwood.

“Legolas!” he called out. “I have left something for you; a belated begetting-day gift! It waits for you beneath the window of your bedchamber. Enjoy it, little one!” He waved one last time, and Legolas looked quizzically at his mother and father.

“We were not told of this,” Thranduil shrugged, smiling. “It will be a surprise for all of us.”

Without a word, Legolas grasped thnds nds of his parents and ran toward the window that Tyrion spoke of, pulling them along with him. All three laughed delightedly as they ran, until they reached the area beneath Legolas’ bedroom window. There they froze, speechless. After several moments, an ecstatic smile slowly spread across the Prince’s beautiful young face. He ran forward and immediately began plucking ollo berries from the bush that was now not only growing, but *thriving* in a garden bed just outside his bedchamber. It was rife with the sweet delicious berries that Legolas had always loved, and he crammed a handful into his mouth, humming in appreciation of their wonderful taste. He plucked some for his mother and handed them to her; she smiled her thanks and ate them, sighing as she was reminded of just how much she’d missed them.

The Prince snatched some for his adar too, but before he could give them to him, Thranduil leaned down and ran a finger along Legolas’ chin, scooping up the juice of the berries that had trickled down. Grinning, he sucked the nectar from his finger, and his son giggled.

The King straightened and looked at his wife. “Will our new friends ever cease amazing us?” he asked in wonder.

Naniel looked thoughty aty at the berries in her hand and smiled. “No, my love,” she replied. “I believe we are only *beginning* to learn what they can do.”

Legolas smiled fondly now, as he rode alongside Belorfilad. That bush flourished beneath the window of his bedchamber even now; in fact, it had spread until it spanned the entire length of the palace wall. Not since that day, had there been a shortage of ollo berries in Mirkwood.

The day of the departure of his bel fri friend had been a bittersweet one for Legolas. Saying farewell to Isalith was the hardest thing he’d had to do in his young life, but the two miracles that had come on that same day made it much more tolerable to him. Tyrion’s gift cheered him immeasurably, and the second miracle was delivered to him by his own adar and naneth.

Legolas had been wandering around the palace most of the day, trying to find enjoyment in the activities he’d always taken pleasure in before, but nothing satisfied. His small feet dragged listlessly as he walked slowly through the corridor that passed the large room in which his parents often entertained guests. It was a space of great warmth and comfort, and contained an ornate fireplace, along with tables where popular card games were played. The Elves would sit or recline in groups on the many luxurious settees and lounges, to converse and drink wine. Without realizing it, Legolas had stopped just outside this room, and now stood deep in thought, staring gloomily at the floor.

“Oh dear, Queen Naniel, we have a most despondent Prince on our hands,” a sympathetic voice came from inside the room. Legolas peered inside to see his father and mother relaxing in one of the rare quiet moments they were allowed, as rulers. Naniel sat on a large plush lounge, with her husband’s head resting in her lap as he reclined. She idly stroked his hair, gently raking her fingers through the pale wheat lengths. Her heart went out to her son, when she saw the lost look in his eyes, and she crooked a finger at him. Legolas entered the room and stood before them. Thranduil half-turned, and placed a hand on either side of his son’s waist, lifting him easily, and setting him astride his own midsection.

“Why do you look so sad, melda?” He knew the answer, of course, but the King wanted his son to talk about it. Legolas idly toyed with the laces of Thranduil’s tunic, batting them back and forth half-heartedly.

“I miss Isalith,” he said simply. “There is nothing to do.”

His parents exchanged a look; they’d been planning to tell Legolas at the evening meal, about the impending arrival of a brother or sister, but the present moment seemed more fitting.

Naniel took her son’s face in her hand gently. “If you can hold on one more year, my darling, everything will change. There will be *much* to do, and Ada and I will need your help.” They gave him the news then, and after the initial shock had worn off, Legolas wept, to the dismay of his mother and father. Thranduil quickly sat up and held his son tightly; Naniel moved closer, too. The Prince smiled radiantly through his tears.

“Naneth and Ada, I am so happy,” he said joyfully. They talked for over an hour, about how their lives would be different, but stressing that he would always be their precious boy and nothing would ever change that. Legolas listened patiently while they assured him, but he wasn’t in the least bit worried. At last! Someone who would need *him*, someone to teach and guide and look after. He would be the finest older brother an Elf could ask for. He *vowed* it.

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The Prince sat up straighter in the saddle now, stretching his spine this way and that. He was glad the day’s journey was nearly over. Stiffness was setting in. His mind brought him again to the day Isalith and his parents had left for their homeland, but this time he thought of how profoundly Belorfilad had been affected by the departure of Uriong. His father was right; the brave Captain had been crushed to see his beloved leave. Over the years, Legolas had come to feel envious of what Belorfilad and Uriong shared. *He* wanted that, wanted to belong to someone, to be their entire world, just as they would be *his*. But he’d never spoken of this to anyone. Sometimes it nearly consumed him; the longing kept him awake on many nights, and it wasn’t until he’d reached a somewhat mature age that he could even put a name to it. Love. He wanted it desperately and knew that he would never be able to truly rest or feel complete, until he found it. And he suddenly felt an overpowering need to talk about it.

“Belorfilad, when did you know?” he turned suddenly to the blonde Captain.

“Know what, Highness?”

“That you were in love; that Uriong was “the one”. Belorfilad was never taken aback by the directness of the Prince’s questions, or his habit of blurting them out. They’d always been able to speak openly to each other.

“Why do you ask, my prince? Have you met someone?”

Legolas frowned, his beautiful young face suddenly sad. “No, I have not been blessed as yet,” he answered softly.

“You have many, many millennia to do so”, Belorfilad reminded him gently.

Legolas turned sharply in his saddle, and the Captain saw the pain and need in his blue eyes. “But I cannot wait many millennia, Belorfilad,” he said vehemently. “I want it so, sometimes I am nearly sick from it; it is like a fever, and I can find no respite.”

The warrior reached across to lay his hand comfortingly on the Prince’s shoulder. “I am sorry, dear friend,” he said sincerely, “I did not mean to belittle your feelings. All I can tell you is that when the moment comes, you will know. You will look into the eyes of that “one”, and he or she will look into yours, and …… “ he paused, “and your souls will recognize each other. Do not worry, Legolas. That moment will not pass you by. There is no mistaking that feeling. It will find you, I promise.” Belorfilad smiled affectionately, and Legolas returned the smile. His friend was always able to put him at peace with just a few words, and his heart was greatly comforted.

He shifted in his saddle; if only he could say the same for his backside.


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yondo nin: my son
lisse: sweet
toron: brother
melda: beloved