To Travel With Wings

Warmth spread through her body, heating her from the inside. The tingles spread from her core to her whole body, eliciting a soft moan. Large hands spanned her waist, a soft tongue delving into her stomach, tenderly pressing kisses to the heated flesh. Shivers of delight spread through her nerves, curving her toes.

A supple cry of exultation caused a warm chuckle. She threaded her fingers through his thick hair and brought his lips to hers, pressing delicately against the hard mouth. He smiled and welcomed her advances, deepening the kiss, gently thrusting his warm tongue into her mouth, then nibbling the corner of her lips.

Giggling, she ran her hands down the smooth, corded muscles of his back, relishing the silky feel of skin against skin. Wrapping her long legs around him, she pulled him closer, her warm breath mixing with his as they stared deeply into each other's souls.

Tilting her head back, her hair fanning the pillow, she sighed as he pressed feather light kisses to the hollow of her throat. Slowly, he entered her, establishing a slow, leisurely rhythm. She matched him beat for beat, stroke for stroke, a deep purr resonating within.

Opening her eyes, she framed his face with her hands, her eyes taking in the smooth planes of his countenance, the light blue eyes, and golden locks of hair....

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Silnar awoke with a start, her breathing heavy and deep. Closing her eyes tightly, Silnar willed away the disturbing images, but they would not fade. Swallowing forcefully, Silnar stood from her chair and pulled on a silk wrapper. Slowly she walked out onto her balcony allowing the fresh air to revitalize and strengthen her.

That particular dream had happened before, but not with him. Desperately, Silnar tried to call upon her crimson haired lover, but his image evaded her call. Instead, the golden locks of Glorfindel pervaded her very being, startling her with the intensity. Closing her eyes, Silnar allowed the emotito cto come. She loved him. It really was that simple.

She wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream. Could it really be that easy? Where were the clandestine meetings, the love poems, the fierce longing? Instead, there was comfort, longing definitely, but not like ..Maedhros. However, Glorfindel was not Maedhros they were two separate beings.

In this instant, she understood. It was clear to her now, why she had resisted Maedhros and marriage. Maedhros beenbeen preparation..for Glorfindel. For the first time in years, Silnar smiled, really truly smiled. It felt as though a burden had lifted from her shoulders.

That Glorfindel returned her love was not the problem. Silnar had felt the stirrings of something terrible. She, more then anyone, knew the evil in Mordor was not dead. Could she really agree to marry in this time and bear children to a world that was dying? No, that would not be fair to her children. She could wait, and she was almost certain Glorfindel would as well.

Right now, however, Silnar felt the need to speak to Glorfindel. Maybe if she explained everything to him, he would understand. Silnar quickly left her room not bothering to dress properly. It would not be the first time she was seen in her nightclothes.

Glorfindel's room was easy to find and Silnar raised her hand to knock and hesitated. If he was asleep, she did not want to disturb him. Quietly, Silnar opened the door and slipped her head inside.

Her mouth slowly fell open and her eyes widened. Glorfindel stood before his window, his form outlined in the pale moonlight. Before him stood the silver golden Celebrían, her face upturned, a soft smile spilling across her beautiful features.

Silnar swallowed a sob and left, as quickly and quietly as she had entered. Clutching her fist to her mouth, Silnar ran back to her rooms, shutting and locking the door. Standing in the insipid beams of moonlight, Silnar stared unseeing at the beautiful valley, streams of tears rolling softly down her silken cheeks.

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The next morning was the worst of Silnar's long life. Not even Maedhros' death could compare to the sorrow she felt now. How could she have been so foolish as to think Glorfindel would wait for her? Why, the beautiful Celebrían could have any elf she wanted, and Glorfindel was no exception. Silnar knew sheuld uld not be surprised. Celebrían was exactly the type of wife an elf of Glorfindel's lineage would seek. He had been reborn, why he was practically a Maia. In addition, who was she, an elf with no lineage, no history, only her Maedhros, Gil-galad, and the heirs of Isildur?

Silnar still could not help but feel cheated. Celebrían was supposed to fall in love with Elrond. However, when had life ever gone her way? Silnar stilled her aching heart and cast it in stone. She would persevere, she always did.

Dressing slowly, Silnar merely brushed her hair and let it hang loose. She was in no mood to be pampered and left before Ingwion came. Silnar reached her destination and entered Galadriel's room. The lady elf was also awake and taking her morning fast on a tray.

Concerned eyes watched Silnar's entrance and Galadriel stood to envelope her friend into a hug. "What burdens your heart so early this morning, Cuiv"
"

Stepping back, Galadriel gasped to see the streams of tears once more running down Silnar's face. "How?" Galadriel stuttered, her soft fingers tracing the salty trails.

"I don't know," Silnar whispered hoarsely. "They began last night and have not ceased."

"What happened to cause them?" Galadriel asked, leading her friend to a seat.

"I discovered something last night, Galadriel. I am in love with Glorfindel."

A soft smile dominated the grave expression on Galadriel's face. "I know, as I know that he loves you."

Slowly, Silnar shook her head. "No, Galadriel, he loves Celebrían. I saw them last night, in his room. I have only myself to blame, you know. Like a child, I clung to the memories of Maedhros, believing I was punishing myself because I could not save him. Then I failed to save Isildur and I just thought I did not deserve happiness until I could atone for my failures. That was why I wanted to bring Celebrían to Elronoolishlyshly, I believed that if I could bring Elrond some semblance of happiness, of a life, I could be forgiven for all of the times I stood by and allowed others to be injured."

"Oh, Silnar, you, and I are both guilty of grievous mistakes. All that we can do is ask the Valar, in their infinite wisdom, for forgiveness. If you think that your transgressions are so terrible, speak to Eru. We are his children and he will never turn you away. It is good, that you wish to bring happiness to the Peredhil's life, but do not think that it will wash away your guilt. Only you can do such a thing, by forgiving yourself."

Galadriel was quiet for a moment and then said, "I do not believe that my daughter has feelings for Glorfindel. They have known each other for ages, and Glorfindel has only ever looked on her as a precious child. Perhaps Celebrían once held adolescent feelings for the warrior, but I believe my daughter torn in a different direction. I think that Celebrían was seeking advice from someone she believes to be wise."

Silnar shrugged. She could still remember the look in Celebrían's eyes, and it was hard to believe it familial. Galadriel's voice brought her back to the present.

"I am worried, however, by these tears you shed. The Eldar cannot shed tears. It is a gift only bestowed on Edain..or Vala."

Silnar sent a sharp glance in Galadriel's direction. The Lady of Lothlórien regarded her solemnly. "I have spent many years thinking of your past and consulting my mirror. Some of the things that you have done, how you perceive, it is different from us. Haven't you ever thought it a possibility?"

Silnar remembered her dream with Ossë and Eönwë. "Of course I have," Silnar said somewhat bitterly. "I discard the sacrilegious thought in the next instant. I am slightly different because I hold no memories of childhood. All that I have is what began with Maedhros."

"Eldar cannot cry, Silnar," Galadriel said sharply, her eyes hard with concern and worry.

"This Elda can," snapped Silnar, standing and leaving the room in a rush. Right now, she did not want to face the consequences of her tears, tears she should not be able hed.hed.