MST: Legolas and Antira

A/N: This is an MST of a fanfiction that was posted on Tolkien Online. The girl who posted it, Antira *Luthien*, used one of my OCs (Antira) and finished a story I had started several months before. I gave her my permission, not realizing the result would royally suck. Anyway, I decided to MST her story because I had a lot of frustration to get out of my system...
My story was called "Legolas and Antira: Lessons." The characters refer to it a few times, so if you're confused, you can go to Tolkienonline and look up the story. Also, I originally wrote this for a friend, so there may be some inside jokes (like the left shoulder fetish and snapping during a rock song).
I also make a reference to the story "Anestel," which is posted on this site...(about Legolas getting pregant).
There is no sex in the story (although there is a lot of innuendo), but there is a lot of language and stuff, so I can't post it anywhere but here. Anyway, despite the lack of smut, it is hugely entertaining, mostly because it's so very horrible.
All you grammar nitpickers, sorry for the ones that I missed, but there was so much to comment on and I couldn't catch everything! Also, sorry for any mistakes I may have made. Please read and respond...Enjoy!
peregrinasr (amrobert@ptloma.edu)

P.S. Antira *Luthien*'s words are marked with a ++ sign. By the way, this is VERY long...this is not my fault! The girl just won't stop writing this crap.

Scene: The Mann Theatre, Valinor

Legolas: Are we the only ones here?
Antira: I think so…oh wait, there’s Frodo. Hey, Frodo!
Frodo: Oh, hey, guys. Is anybody else coming?
Antira: I’m pretty sure it’s just us. All the “mainlanders” bailed.
Legolas: I can’t say I blame them. Do you know what a round trip ticket to Valinor costs this time of year?
Frodo: So what are we supposed to be watching?
Legolas: The sequel to “Legolas and Antira: Lessons.”
Frodo: Oh, I heard about that. There was a big knife fight, right?
Antira: You didn’t see it?
Frodo: Just the clip where you almost cut off Legolas’s…nevermind.
Legolas: (shifts uncomfortably)
Antira: Well, it ended when I kissed him and walked away, so I guess that’s where this will be picking up.
Frodo: You walked away? Talk about a cliffhanger ending.
Legolas: Tell me about it.
Antira: Shhh. It’s starting. There’s a new author for this one, and I want to see how she does.
All: (Settle in)

THORY ORY BEGINS…

++When Antira had left the happy elf's sight, he flashed back to his happy life as a child.

Legolas: Happy happy happy. Damn I am one happy elf.

++He always had flashbacks,

Antira: Apparently you dropped acid when you were younger…
Legolas: You didn’t know? Miruvor does strange things to the mind. Twelve shots and you’re legally insane.

++but ever since that night when the Lady Antira Luthien had come into his life, the rest of his life seemed so worthless without her! Even though he was 2,931 years old, he could still remember clearly his past and the most memorable sights and adventures he had ever seen and done.

Frodo: I am so confused right now.
Antira: When did I become Antira Luthien? Did I miss something?
Legolas: God, I hate being reminded of my age. It’s so depressing.
Antira: What exactly do your past adventures have to do with me?
Legolas: Fuck if I know.

++Ever since Legolas was a small lad of 200 years old, he always had a long memory span.

Frodo: A small lad? Of 200? What the hell? Are elves ever small lads?
Legolas: And what is this ‘long memory span’ crap? I’m a fucking elf! I remember everything!
Antira: You’re telling me.
Legolas: What does that mean?
Antira: Nothing
Frodo: This is confusing enough without you guys arguing.

++He sighed. Looking up at the sky after the most memorable and beautiful flashbacks past through his mind, he suddenly remembered Antira.

Antira: You suddenly remembered me? What the fuck were you thinking about?
Legolas: Uhhh…

++"What would of become of me if this wonderful woman had not come into my life and filled me with the happiness that I feel now?" he asked himself hoping an answer would instantly pop into his head.

Legolas: See, I made up for it!
Antira: With that? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Elves are supposed to speak beautifully, and you can barely even articulate a thought!
Legolas: Articuwhat?
Frodo: Shh!

++Looking blankly at the stars, he was interrupted by the sound of loud foot steps coming his way. He knew it couldn't possibly be an elf not a man. He turned around slowly ready to grab his bow that he was keeping in his pack.

Frodo: Doesn’t it damage a bow to keep it in a pack? Aren’t you supposed to store it unstrung? What were you going to do with it, poke the intruder in the eye?
Legolas: (glare)

++But, he relaxed when he laid his eyes on a halfling.

Frodo: Oh that’s nice. It’s just a halflinWhatWhat the hell can we do? Excuse me, I only SAVED THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD!

++He could not tell which of the 4 it was, for he was still in too much shadow to even tell what color his clothes were.

Frodo: Some elf you are.
Antira: Because the color of the intruder’s clothing would CERTAINLY have identified him.
Legolas: Look, it’s not my fault the author’s a moron!
Antira: Ohhhh, I’m telling. I’ll make her shoot you in some future chapter.
Legolas: Shh! Don’t give her any ideas!
Frodo: (snicker)

++But, just as he was coming closer to Legolas, the light from the moon crept out from behind the storm clouds overshadowing the north and it gave off enough light to tell which of the four halflings it was. Legolas finally concluded that it was Frodo Baggins of the shire.

Frodo: OH MY GOD, it took you long enough.
Antira: Like those eyes wouldn’t catch the light from a mile away. Those things GLOW.
Frodo: You think my eyes glow?
Antira: (blushes and looks away) Just a little.
Legolas: Antira!
Antira: What?

++The halfling sat down beside Legolas and lo Nor North as the moon once again hid itself behind the storm clouds which brought snow to the North where the orcs now rest under the surveillance of the great eye. ( A powerful thing that never slept. Itchetches the whole of Middle Earth day after day making sure that the one ring was being brought to the land of Mordor where its master, Lord Sauron, would take it back and destroy Middle Earth and its inhabitances forever.)

Antira: Its inhabitances?
Legolas: Does this have anything to do with the story?
Frodo: Oh God, the Eye! Make it stop!
Antira: Frodo, are you okay?
Frodo: Hold me!
Legolas: Don’t even think about it.

++" Tell me master Greenleaf, What would of become of you if Mistress Antira had not come into your life and filled you with this happiness and love?" Frodo asked with the knowledge that Legolas' hearts had just been attacked with the love that Antira had threw at him.

Frodo: Well, folks, I don’t think it can get much worse than that…
Legolas: Oh, don’t speak too soon.
Antira: The love I had threw at you? What the FUCK? I’m like some dyslexic prostitute or something!
Legolas: That sounds interesting…
Antira: Not now.

++Legolas hesitated. He looked blankly at the sky again and said as he turned and looked at Frodo

Antira: You do a lot of this staring blankly stuff.
Legolas: No kidding.

++"I do not know tiny halfling.

Frodo: Who the hell are you calling tiny?

++But all that I am certain of right know is that this love that I fell for Antira is greater than the seas and lands I have traveled! It is bigger than eternity that we shall always share in each others grasp. My love for her is greater than my life and everybody's life here in Middle Earth! I would give my last breath if it would give her towerower to live on...Ringbearer...have you...ever been in love before? As in a love that you thought would last an eternity?"

Antira: (doubled up on the floor laughing)
Legolas: Hey, I’m supposed to be complimenting you here.
Antira: I’m sorry, I only date men who speak English. Or maybe Elvish. But not…whatever that is you’re speaking.
Frodo: I think the author’s been at the miruvor.

++" No." Frodo answered without hesitation. But Legolas saw the small tear run down his cheek and he knew what had happened. He lost her in some way.

Legolas: What, am I fucking psychic now?
Frodo: Maybe you used your magic memory span to read my mind.

++" Please Frodo do not cry. Tell me about her. What was she like? Maybe you will feel better if it is all out of your mind." Legolas said trying to be a friend.

Frodo: A retarded friend.

++" She was like an evening star, flickering against the blue night sky. She was more beautiful than a flower that was so beautiful you could die at the sight of it. She had the heart of an elvin girl born with all the knowledge she would need to help the entire continent of Middle Earth. With her heart, she could even bring Sauron to his knees and transform him into a rose.

Antira: What the hell? Turn Sauron into a rose? I don’t know whether to laugh or dunk the author into a vat of burning oil.
Frodo: (sniff) It’s true. She was amazing…
Legolas: Hey, was she beautiful? Cause you know, you only said beautiful EIGHTY times there.
Frodo: At least it was slightly poetic, mush mouth. Now shut up. This is my big scene.

++That is until that fateful night. Me and Emil,

Antira: Emil and I

++that was her name, we went down to the edge of the hills where we would watch the sun set. But on that night, we stayed there until dark to watch the stars appear. When we got to the roads, she insisted that she walk herself home. That was a mistake. I should of gone with her. But by surprise, she gave me my first real kiss. And it was going to be my last. When we split up and went our separate ways, she had to go thought he shire gates to get to bywater where she lived. There on the road, she was slaughtered by the 9 Ringwrathes that regularly ride by late at night.

Antira: What the hell are Ringwrathes and why did it take nine of them to kill one hobbit?
Legolas: Your first real kiss? You’re what, fifty?
Frodo: Shut up. This is tragic, remember?

++She was also suffering from a long term illness that she would die anytime then.

Antira: (on the floor again) Holy fuck, this is too much.
Legolas: You sure know how to pick ‘em.

++But the horrible Ringwrathes brought it to her faster and more painfully then when she was suppose to die. And it just brought me more pain to see and hear people yelling, " Help! Help! She's been slaughtered! Emil! From Bywater! She’s gone! Help! Help!" Those words resounded in my head month after month. But I never thought they would go that far.

Frodo: (snicker) I just thought they would rough her up a bit, maybe give her a swirlie or something…

++I never thought they would kill her and after that come after myself." Frodo now whimpering, he turned to Legolas and said "I don't know why they did it, but, I promise that one day, I will destroy the 9 Ringwrathes and destroy the one ring that I know wear around my neck."

Antira: What a valiant little foreign child. It’s so cute that someone who can barely talk is going to save the world.

++Legolas now had much sympathy in his eyes for his friend, but now, he had more reasons to hate the nine Ringwrathes. And then, it came to him. What would he do if that happened to Antira?

Antira: Well?
Legolas: Ummm…I’d do a hell of a lot more than Frodo here did.
Frodo: Excuse me, I was outnumbered nine to one!
Legolas: Excuses, excuses.

++I have to go now. The others are most likely looking for me. " Frodo said getting up from the place where he sat and headed through the thick brush in tears.

Legolas: Why would the others be looking for you?
Frodo: Well, I AM the Ringbearer.
Antira: They’re worried you might get raped if you go out alone.
Frodo: Pardon?
Antira: Please. Those eyes, that hair? You’re practically begging for it.
Frodo: (blush)
Legolas: Antira!
Antira: Sorry.

++Legolas just sat there looking at the full moon with a far away look in his eyes when something tapped him on the shoulder. He turned back to see who it was when he laid his deep green eyes on Antira.

Antira: Your eyes are green? Wow, I really missed something there.
Legolas: Maybe if you weren’t always looking at FRODO’S eyes…
Antira: I can’t help myself. Have you seen them? They’re like fucking blue stoplights or something.
Legolas: (gape)
Frodo: (gape)
Antira: I mean…uh…let’s see what happens next.

++ " Legolas...why was the Ringbearer crying? What sorrow does he have on his mind?" Antira asked locking eyes with him.

Legolas: See? Even in the story you’re thinking about Frodo.

++Legolas looked North for the third time that night and sighed. Not looking back at Antira, he replied," The Ringbearer does not have a troubled mind...but a troubled heart." Antira took a seat beside him and said nothing but " I see. " "Antira...I-" Legolas trailed off as he looked at her. She was in the moon light now and it reflected in her elvin eyes.

Antira: I have elvin eyes? Are those like elven eyes? Does this mean I’m an elf? Someone help me out here.

++She turned to him and locked eyes with him again. She started to talk using the elvish language. Legolas understood every word of it.

Frodo: That’s good, considering YOU’RE AN ELF!

++" Legolas, I know so much about you. Your father is ruler of Mirkwood, and you are prince. Air to the throne of Mirkwood.

Frodo: (laughing so hard he’s crying) You’re an air? What the hell does that mean?
Antira: (snicker) It means he’s lord of the…wind.
Legolas: Har har. I think she means heir.
Antira: What’s the matter, air? Feeling a little gassy?
Frodo: (pees his pants from laughing too hard)

++I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. You took me in when I ran from Gondor, you gave me food, a home and loving care. Is there anyway I can repay you for your kindness?"

Legolas: Oh, I’m sure I can think of something. (wink)
Antira: Soooo…you’re like my dad, kind of. Wow. That’s really…wrong. And why am I running away from Gondor?

++" No. You don't have to repay me. Listen, I wish to finish my sentence that I started earlier..." But Antira put a finger on his lips and motioned towards the bushes. Rattling was coming from inside them. They both got up quietly, took out their bows and put an arrow to their strings.

Antira: I thought I fought with daggers. Where the hell did I get a bow from?

++They moved slowly towards the bushes. Then finally they stuck the arrows up close to the bushes and shot trying to hit what ever was in there. "AHHHH!" They both heard. They both looked at each other and exchanged scared looks. They finally pulled the branches away to reveal Samwise Gamgie.

Legolas: No shit, we just shot Sam?
Frodo: (sigh)
Antira: Well, he’ll feed the most, at least.

++He looked as pale as a ghost while looking at the arrows that were on either side of him just inches away from were he sat! He could of past for a ghost anytime then.

Frodo: What?
Antira: Don’t worry about it. It’s MORONese.

++" Would you put those things away! You could of poked my eye out with them arrows!" He screamed.

Legolas: Yeah, poked your eye out, or SHOT YOU IN THE HEAD…whichever seems more likely.

++" Samwise Gamgie!

Antira: I seem to be having trouble spelling.

++Have you been eves dropping?" Antira screamed. " No miss! I haven't been dropp'n no eves promise! I was trying to find some berries my lady! " he said innocently.

Antira: I’m having déjà vu.
Frodo: Are there eaves outside? I mean, I guess there’s eaves in a forest, but still…
Legolas: It’s, like, midnight or something. What the hell is he doing looking for berries in the middle of the night?

++" Im sorry if I interrupted! Im terribly sorry! It's just that the camp is hungry and we have all gone out to find food! I must of wandered too far! I will leave now! Goodbye!" He finished running off into the woods. Legolas and Antira went back and sat down were they were sitting.

Frodo: So basically, that was pointless.
Legolas: Just a chance for the author to prove she saw the movie.
Antira: What movie? No one told me about a movie.
Legolas: (annoyed grunt) Do’h!

++"Alright Legolas, what did you want to tell me?" Antira said looking back at him. Legolas turned back and looked at her and said, " Antira, I know a lot about you that you don’t know I know! I know why you ran from Gondor." Antira's smile faded and turned into pure fear. She didn’t want him to know she was a princess! A princess that was air to the throne of Gondor if Aragorn did not take the thrown before his death!

Frodo: There goes Legolas, being all psychic again…
Antira: Riiiiiiiiiight…so I’m an elven princess of Gondor. An elf who is, in some obscure way, ruler of a human country. I have human parents, but I’m an elf.
Legolas: Stop trying to make sense of it. You’ll hurt yourself.

++That was the reason she ran away! Because her father was forcing her to become queen when he retires! She didn't want that! And she told here father that! He never listened to her! Her brothers Boromir and Faramir knew as well that she didn't want that! They always listened while they fought at the dining room table!

Frodo: The dining table is an EXCELLENT place to fight.
Antira: What’s up with the punctuation here? It’s like my whole inner monologue is one giant exclamation mark.
Legolas: I thought Gondor had a Steward. When did it get a king?

++So, she ran to Mirkwood! Even though her father and brothers were all men, she was an elf. Although, nobody knew how it happened, she was born elvin! And not half elvin, but completely elvin! So when Legolas took her in, she fit in well with the rest of the village.

Antira: Damned convenient, that is.
Frodo: If it doesn’t make sense, just roll with it!
Legolas: I think this author has been hanging out with Gandalf. She’s getting a little…abstract.

++" I have been thinking about it and the most logical reason I could find was that your father was abusing you in some way, so you ran. Is that the reason? When you came to your castle, you refused to tell me why you did it. So now, can you tell me?" Legolas finished.

Frodo: Abuse. Right. That’s what I always think when a beautiful girl shows up on my doorstep. What the hell is your problem, Legolas?
Antira: You think I’m beautiful?
Frodo: (blush)
Legolas: (glare)

++Now the moon was coming out from behind the clouds again and it shone in her eyes and on her face. Legolas watched as she lowered her head and a tear fell into her lap. She wanted to tell him, but she couldn't. The only person that knew her secret was Gandalf. She knew he would never speak a word to anybody. " Legolas, I am terribly sorry, but I don’t think that you are capable of handling the truth.

Antira: You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!
Legolas: How original and innovative.
Antira: Bite me, you happy elf, you.
Legolas: (sticks his tongue out)

++Im sorry. I cant because-" She trailed off when she heard Aragorn's voice calling them. " I think we should be getting back to camp." Legolas said with a sad look in his eyes. Without another word, the two of them got up and headed back for camp. But when they got there, they were surprised to see a fire!

Frodo: Surprise! I lit the camp on fire!
Antira: It’s about damn time.

++A fire that they had been trying to get going all day! They both sat down next to each other when Frodo said," Ok. Now that we are all here, I guess I better tell you all the news. On our way out tomorrow, we will be passing through Gondor. Gandalf wishes to speak to the Stuwart of Gondor so we must ask permission to stay the night within the palace walls." Frodo said all excited for the next day.

Antira: This is bad.
Frodo: The news, or the story?
Legolas: All of the above.
Antira: My dad’s name is Stuwart?
Legolas: I think she means Steward.

++But Gandalf and Legolas gave Antira a worried look as she starred unblinkly at Frodo.

Legolas: How do you stare unblinkly?
Antira: I’m looking at Frodo. I can stare any way you ask me to.
Frodo: (blush)
Legolas: (pout)

++Then at that moment, she gave in and fell over unconscious and in shock.

Antira: I just…fell over?
Legolas: Maybe your corset was too tight.
Antira: Buddy, you are asking for it.

++While she was unconscious, she could just see her father and Faramirs faces when they were told that Boromir had fallen and when they realized that she was the princess. That night when she woke up, she woke up with a cry. Legolas was lying awake beside her. He never if ever slept.

Antira: Never if ever? What the FUCK?
Legolas: Don’t look at me.

++With her cry, Gandalf also awakened and came over to see her. She told Legolas to get some sleep while she and Gandalf went for a walk.

Frodo: Even though he never sleeps. Sheesh. This is ridiculous.
Legolas: Is it time for intermission yet?

++Deep in the forest, out of earshot of the others, she told Gandalf that her father was going to recognize her and the folks will recognize her and her father was going to make her stay and be queen and Faramir will try to defend her and they will get into a big argument and that her life was a disaster!

Antira: (panting) Damn that was a long sentence!

++" Antira, is your life a disaster when you and Legolas are together? " Gandalf asked with sympathy. Antira didn't hesitate when she gave her answer," Gandalf, I haven’t even told Legolas this, but , I don’t feel for him as just a friend anymore!

Legolas: Well, I should hope not, otherwise, you’re like, the biggest whore in history.
Antira: Oh, give me time.
Legolas: What is that supposed to mean?
Frodo: Shut up, you two!

++Gandalf I love him! And when we go to Gondor and my father recognizes me and gives out my secret, Legolas, well, I don’t know what he will do! I have a gut felling I should tell him now, but , I do not wish to tell him that I am a princess that ran away and became a Mirkwood princess wannabe!

All: (helpless laughter)

++He will get mad! Terribly mad! And it may be the end of our relation ship together! It may be the end before it even started!" she finished with a panicked look on her face.

Legolas: Ahoy! All aboard the relation ship!
Antira: Am I always this full of angst?
Frodo: (lays a hand on her arm) It’s okay. We love you anyway.

++Gandalf thought for a minute and said, "Antira, you love him and I know that Legolas would not play around with love...he loves you! And if he really truly loves you, he will understand!" " So does that mean that my father does not love me?" Antira asked looking worried. " No Antira. Your father just wants what’s best for you. He just wants you to be happy."

Legolas: So he beats you. Like any loving father would.
Antira: My life sucks.

++Gandalf said trying to end the conversation. But Antira would not let it end. " But Gandalf...Im not happy! I don’t want to be a queen!" Antira growled. " I think that you should follow what your heart tells you to do! I would let Legolas find out by himself. And then deal with the situation when it comes." Gandalf said.

Frodo: Because it’s always better to ignore your problems until they bite you in the ass.
Legolas: That Gandalf is one wise son of a bitch.

++" But for now lets all get some sleep." Gandalf finished and went back to camp. But Antira just stood there starring at the moon thinking of only one thing. << How Legolas would react when he found out.>> But then, something grabbed her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek.

Antira: AGH! What the hell? Something grabbed me?

++She turned around and saw Legolas

Antira: OH! Phew.

++starring at her with a puzzled look on his face. " Antira, if there is something you want to tell me, please do so." Legolas finished as he watched tears roll down her cheeks. " No! Im not telling you!" Antira screamed while running off into the woods, leaving Legolas and his puzzled look behind.

Legolas: Women.
Frodo: Amen.
Antira: (glare)

++The next morning, Antira was still awake at the hill where she ran back to after Legolas left for camp. As she walked back to camp she said to herself, “Well, today is the day. The day when my whole life drowns itself in a pool of tears when they reveal my secret.”

Antira: And we’re back to the angst.

++When she got there, the others were just walking up. Since they had no food, they would just get their horses and leave.

Legolas: What happened to Sam’s berries?
Frodo: He ate them all. Fat bastard.

++The ride was about 12 miles from where they spent the night. As they rode through the lands, Antira had all her memories come flowing back to her in a big splash. Tears started rolling down her cheeks when they finally arrived. They left all their weapons with the gate guard of Minus Tirith. As they were heading through the city towards the castle, people stopped and whispered stuff.

Antira: No! Not…STUFF!

++ She knew what it all was about. Her. They all knew! When they reached the front doors of the palace, Gandalf gave 2 loud knocks and the doors opened by themselves.

Legolas: That Gandalf. He’s resourceful, isn’t he?

++She walked through the hall gracefully and looked around ( trying to fool Lord Denethor ) as if she had never see the place before.

Frodo: It’s very tricksy, precious.
Antira: Damn, I’m sneaky.

++They all bowed to the Lord who was sitting on his thrown. But as they all stood there looking around, Antira left Legolas’ side to talk to Gandalf. When she was done, she walked to the front of the Fellowship and bowed to the lord again. “My lord. We have terrible news. Your son Boromir has fallen-” Antira trailed off when she laid her elvin eyes on Faramir coming into the room. They stared at each other for 30 seconds when Lord Denethor interrupted their gaze.

Legolas: I hate it when people interrupt my gaze. And what the hell is a thrown?

++“Yes I already know that but...would you mind coming closer to me please?”

Antira: Uhhh…yes. I would mind.

++Antira looked back at Gandalf with a nervous look on her face when she saw Gandalf nod his head telling her to go and not to be frightened. Finally, she moved forward. Noticing Faramir looking at her while letting his sword drop to the ground ( He was shining it ), she knew he knew.

Frodo: He was shining his sword? Why?
Antira: Don’t question the author. Her answer would probably only confuse you more.

++She finally reached the platform that he was sitting on. “May I say miss, you look just like...like...like my daughter!” he finished. Then he saw it! Her necklace! It was put on her when she was born and even if she tried to throw it away, it would always come back! It was a sign that she was a princess.

Antira: Oh my god, a magic necklace. Just when you thought it had reached rock bottom, I get a magic necklace.

++“Would you mind taking off your necklace and showing it to me please?” Lord Denethor said with a little bit of a stutter in his voice.

Legolas: Why does it sound like he’s hitting on you?
Antira: You think so?
Frodo: Oh, there’s definitely some innuendo here.

++Antira nervously off off her necklace and handed it to Denethor as she tried to keep her hand still so he could take it, it just wouldn’t stay in one spot! After a look at her necklace, he jumped off the platform where he sat and went down and hugged her. “You are! I knew it! You are my daughter! Antira I’ve missed you so much!” He finished.

Legolas: I had no one to punch while you were gone!
Antira: Stop mocking my pain, you stupid elf.

++Antira looked back at the Fellowship. They were all in shock other than one person. Gandalf. But the only person that she was worried about was Legolas. She mouthed the words im sorry to him as he dropped to his knees.

Antira: Now who’s being dramatic?

++“So Antira. This is what you couldn’t tell me? That you were heir to the thrown of Gondor if Aragorn did not take it before his death and the Boromir and Faramir are your brothers and that you are a princess?”

Antira: (giggle)
Frodo: (snicker)
Legolas: What?
Antira: Speak much, mush mouth?

++Legolas finished in a calm voice. Antira hesitated and looked at him. She thought that she could see his eyes turning grey, dark grey. But after thinking, she said in tears “Yes Legolas. I am. They are and I am a princess.

Frodo: What? Boromir and Faramir are princesses, too?
Antira: Sure, why not.

++The reason I ran away was because my father was forcing me to be queen when I chose exi she she finished “So you couldn’t tell me?” Legolas asked in a very uncomfortable calm voice.

Legolas: An uncomfortable calm voice.
Frodo: I know exactly what she means.
Antira: You do?
Frodo: No.

++“No Legolas! I couldn’t! I didn’t know how you would react! And Legolas the only people who knew were...” she was afraid to say it, “was me and Gandalf.” As Legolas sat there in silence, the whole Fellowship looked stunned and Gandalf looked a very unusual shade of white, some hand maidens tried to come and take her to her room.

Frodo: Because women should be taken to their rooms at all awkward moments.
Antira: You didn’t know that?

++But the pain of seeing Legolas in that state was too much!

Antira: She wanted to jump him right then and there!
Legolas: Come again?
Antira: (winking) If you insist.
Legolas: (blush)
Frodo: (glare)

++She refused them and tried to run for the doors but Lord Denethor motioned and the doors closed and behind them stood 2 guards. She started to run back, her eyes full of tears ( it made it very hard to see ), and the next thing that she knew, she was on the ground. she had bumped into her father.

Legolas: Antira is always running around blindly like that.
Antira: (snigger) You can’t take me anywhere.

++“Stay away from me!” she pleaded crawling backwards. But it was too late. Her father had picked her up and was carrying her to her bedroom flung over his shoulder.

Antira: Okay, even I can see the sexual overtones in that one. What the hell is wrong with this author?
Frodo: I think she’s a little frustrated, if you know what I mean.

++When she arrived, it looked just like she remembered it. Everything in it’s place where she had left it! Lord Denethor set her down without a word and motioned for the maids to help her change into her clothes.

Antira: Apparently I’m completely helpless. For someone who doesn’t want to be a queen, I sure don’t seem to have a problem with letting everyone dress me.

++She changed into a beautiful silk dress that did not cover her shoulders. It started at the top of her arms and came down with sleeves

Frodo: As opposed to coming down with…a cold?

++and it came to a point at her middle fingers on each hand where it would have a band that wrapped around the bottom of the fingers. She also had a cape at the back that descended from the beginning of her arms and went down until it dragged 3 feet on the floor.

Legolas: Hot mama!
Frodo: Woohoo!
Antira: Go to hell.

++When the maids were done doing her hair and placed a tiara on her head, they left and Faramir ran into the room and hugged her so tight, she almost lost her circulation. But she missed him so she hugged him back.

Antira: I lost my circulation?

++Then she started to cry. She told him that she had watched Boromir die. She and Aragorn were right beside him the entire time. She also told him that Boromir found her at the council that Elrond held. For she went with the Prince of Mirkwood. She and Boromir talked but she threatened him that if he told their father he would be dead before he could put up his shield! Just as she finished, her maid, Aimuna came into the room and announced that dinner had been served and that she was to come down witramiramir. As she walked through the corridors that lead to the dinning room, Faramir saw a tear roll down her cheek in silence. “Please Antira, do not cry,” he pleaded, “You do not wish for Legolas to see you in this condition do you?” he finished looking at her with a not quiet comfortable look in his eyes.

Legolas: Yeah, I hate it when you get splotchy.
Antira: You are SO sleeping on the couch tonight.

++She hesitated as she looked back and then slowly she said “He has already seen me in this condition Faramir. And the only person I want to see me like this is my father. I want him to see that I am not happy. And maybe by chance, he will let me go back to Mirkwood with my love-” She trailed off as they reached the top of the staircase that lead to the dinning room. Everyone was starring at her. Including her Father. He had a big smile plastered on his face when she came around the table but Antira didn’t know if he just enjoyed seeing her in the palace again or it was for some other reason!

Antira: Like…
Frodo: Maybe he picked out the dress that didn’t cover your shoulders.
Legolas: Maybe he has a shoulder fetish!
Frodo: A LEFT shoulder fetish.
Antira: What are you talking about?
Legolas: It’s an inside joke.

++So like the gentlemen that he is, he pulled the chair out for her.

Frodo: A gentleman who beats his daughter.

++She sat down. The whole time starring at Legolas. He never looked up or touched his food.

Antira: How do you star at someone?

++“Legolas, you must eat something! You will become sick!” Antira exclaimed looking worried.

Antira: If you don’t eat something, I’ll have to take a bath with you!
Legolas: Please, don’t get me started on THAT.
Frodo: What is she talking about?
Antira: This one time when Legolas got pregnant.
Frodo: (gape)
Legolas: It’s a long story.

++Legolas took a bit of his food and put it in his mouth. To him it tasted like ash.

Antira: What great imagery. It’s too bad that line is from Amber’s story.

++As he looked up at Antira he saw the worry in her eyes and the pleading of forgiveness on her face but he paid no attention to these things and said “Are you happy now Princess?” Antira felt guilt rush over her for not telling him the truth and at the same time she felt relieved that he knew. She felt a tear drop from her eyes into her lap but she didn’t know if I was from guilt or happiness that she was feeling! But as another tear came down her cheek, she felt someone’s hand whip it away! She turned to her right and laid her deep green eyes on a man with soft golden colored hair and sparkling eyes. “Eomer! Oh my Lord how I’ve missed you!”

Antira: OOH! Eomer’s in this story?
Legolas: (grumble mutter)

++Then Eomer’s eyes pointed to her left side and she turned around and saw Eowen!

Frodo: His eyes pointed?
Antira: Who the hell is Eowen? Is that anything like Eowyn?

++Eowen’s eyes sparkled with joy as she hugged Antira. Antira felt her long blond hair on her face and she admitted to herself that that’s what she truly missed!

Antira: So now I’m a lesbian. I don’t get it.
Legolas: Maybe this story has potential after all.
Antira: (punches Legolas in the arm)

++She longed to be back in Gondor, but not to be queen! Just to live a normal life with her friends and family! Surprisingly, her father stood up to announce something, “I wish to make an announcement. Now that my daughter Antira has returned from Mirkwood,” he said giving Antira and Legolas a nasty look from across the table, “I am pleased to announce that in 2 days, I am retiring in 2 days and that tomorrow, Antira will be crowned Stewardess of the province of Gondor!” As Lord Denethor sat down, everybody was silent. Antira was just starring at her father when she fell unconscious into the arms of Eomer.

Frodo: And again with the starring.
Antira: At least I got to faint on someone hot. Last time I just hit the ground.
Legolas: (glare)

++When she woke up the next morning, she found everybody standing around her other than Legolas. When she stood up, she felt dizzy but with all her might, she ran out of the room in tears. “STOP HER!” Cried Lord Denethor. But when the guards ran out the door, they found her outside the door holding Legolas with all her might yelling “Legolas! Im sorry! Im sorry for everything! Everything!” she was crying on his shoulder yelling it and repeating it all over again.

Frodo: Okay, so what just happened here?
Legolas: Everyone stood around and watched her sleep, then she woke up and went into hysterics. What’s so unusual about that?
Antira: I hate this story.

++To Antira, it seemed to last forever but to the others only a few seconds were spared. Legolas seemed surprised. He thought he was mad at her! And yet, he was holding her as well! “Its ok Antira. Its ok, I understand.” he whispered while letting go of his grasp. But as they lessened their grasp still holding onto each other, Antira locking eyes with Legolas, her father grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of reach of Legolas. “Antira! Never do that again!” Lord Denethor said while slapping her across thce. ce.

Frodo: He’s good at this loving father thing.

++As her head turned with the force, her hair turned as well, hiding the tears that came down her face and onto the floor. Legolas just stood there. His face a pale shade of white with fear.

Antira: You just stood there? What a fucking pansy. Why not just run around screaming “Ai! Ai!”
Frodo: (snicker)
Legolas: That was a low blow.

++“Lord Denethor, please, you should be happy your daughter is home!” Legolas said approaching “Are you happy that she is home? If you are, you should not be abusing her!”

Frodo: But if you’re not, you can hit her all you want.

++Legolas finished looking confident that he would win. “What if im happy she’s home! What do you know anyhow? You are but a mire elf!” Lord Denethor finished as he also approached Legolas.

Legolas: A mire elf? And all this time I thought I was a wood elf.

++But Legolas wasn’t scared. “Lord Denethor, when your daughter ran away from here, she ran to Mirkwood. She ran to me and my father Lord Tharanduil. We gave her a loving home, food and a lot of wanted love. There, we both fell in love but we did not tell the other. Lord Denethor, I’ve known your daughter longer than you have and I have realized that she is wise beyond her years. I know that she is a loving person with a big heart which you don’t have. She has had a wonderful life, do not spoil it for her now. I beg you. Don’t.” Legolas finished with sympathy in his eyes. Antira looked up at him from the floor where she now sit. Legolas could clearly see tears rolling down her cheek where a bruise now starting to appear. As he looked at Antira, she looked helpless. So, as he looked down at Antira, Legolas added, “ Lord Denethor, she loves you. And that’s why . . . she’s not fighting back.” he said with anger in his voice. Antira thought to herself <>

Antira: I thought what?
Legolas: That was truly inspiring, Antira.
Frodo: Encore, encore!
Antira: Fucking author. I’ll rip her throat out with my bare hands.

++That was it! Lord Denethor had clearly had enough! He punched Legolas in the face!

Antira: Booyah!
Legolas: OW! What the hell was that for? He’s only supposed to beat you!
Antira: Fuck off.

++“All I want is for Antira to be happy! And if she’s not happy, then *** the whole of Middle-earth!” Lord Denethor finished.

Frodo: There is a lot of faulty logic at work here.
Legolas: Which is very different from the rest of the story.
Antira: What’s with the three stars? “Ass” the whole of Middle Earth?

++But, with all her might, Antira got off the floor and tapped her father on the shoulder. When he turned around she looked at him straight in the eyes and said, “Father, if you want me to be happy, then let me go my own direction in life! Father, I love Legolas. And if Legolas is going back to Mirkwood after the ring is destroyed, then so am I! And if you don’t want me to go, then god help your soul and if you want to try and stop me than go ahead. But I guarantee you, I will get out! And if you keep abusing me like this than maybe when you die and go to hell, just maybe I will have the courage to keep loving you and maybe keep you in my heart.

Antira: To quote Tom Delonge, I’m a little ashamed of being myself today.
Legolas: See, you don’t make any sense, either.

++Im not being queen and maybe if you ask Faramir to be king, maybe he will take my place!” Antira finally gave him a look of hatred and ran over to help Legolas to his feet. As she helped him, he thought to himself << Maybe she’s not as helpless as I thought! Maybe that’s what I saw in her. I underestimated her in a way that I shouldn’t of. And in a way that I never will again.>>

Antira: Damn straight.
Frodo: You thought she was helpless? She almost turned you into a eunuch during knife practice!

++As she lead him down to the garden, she told him that her father wasn’t always like this.

Antira: Sometimes he uses a fire iron.

++On their way to the bench in the middle of the garden behind the castle, she gathered some herbs.

Antira: …

++Legolas just walked beside her being careful not to loose her and get lost, he looked around astonished of what the garden resembled. To him it resembled a forest that belonged to the elves. “How did you get it to look so beautiful?” Legolas asked as he walked beside her looking from side to side. “I was really the only one who took care of it. It was the only thing that I could do besides sword fights with Faramir and Boromir. It was the only thing that mattered to me. People that came into the garden said that I gave it a powerful touch of the elvin environment. I think that they were right!” Antira answered as she continued to pick up herbs from the plants. After she was done gathering them, Legolas went and sat down on the bench as he watched in astonishment as Antira mixed, added and combined the herbs that she collected.

Antira: I did what?
Legolas: Mixed, added, and combined. It’s an elven thing.

++When she was done, she walked over and sat on the bench beside him. “Alright. Just to tell you, this will stop the bleeding where my fathers ring scratched you!” After she put it on and the bleeding had stopped, she put her hand on his forehead where the cut was and recited something in elvish. Legolas understood what she said. She said: “What grace has given me, let it pass to him.

Antira: Oh god. I’m biting off Arwen? Tell me I haven’t stooped that low.

++Let it heal the pain that Hell has made him endure. Lasto Beth nin. Tolo Lanagalad-” was all he heard before falling into a deep trance.

Legolas: Tolo lanagalad? I don’t think that’s elvish.
Frodo: Yes it is. It means, “I’m a fucking retard.”
Antira: Excuse me while I hang myself with my magic necklace.

++Just as she finished and his wound healed, Faramir came out from the palace and started to walk over to her. He also looked astonished because he hadn’t been out here for a long time. “Antira, whenever father ordeyou you around in that manner, you never fought back, why now?” Faramir asked. Antira hesitated. Then looked up at Faramir and then down at Legolas and said “Faramir, this time, I had something to fight for.” she said locking eyes with Legolas as he came out of the trance. “My love for someone.” she said looking up at Faramir with a dreamy look on her face.

Frodo: Awwww. That’s so sweet.
Antira: Eat me.
Frodo: (raises his eyebrows)
Antira: (blush)
Legolas: (brushes hair obliviously)

++As Faramir left, Legolas and Antira went inside and went to bed in Antira’s room.

Legolas: We went to bed? I missed it? What the hell?
Antira: I don’t think anything happened.
Legolas: Why the hell not?
Frodo: (coughing) loser!
Legolas: (glare)

++When Antira woke up the next morning, she rolled over to look at Legolas, but, to her surprise, he wasn’t there! She ran downstairs and her father told her that he ordered them to leave! He also told her to go and get dressed, for her coronation was in 2 hours! She went up the stairs silently with her maid Aimuna following her. As they walked into her room and closed the door behind them she turned to face Aimuna. Antira could see tat Aimuna knew what she was going to say. She had tears in her eyes. Antira said “ Aimuna, are are the best friend I’ve ever had, but, I have to leave now. And I need you to follow through with my plan. When I tell you to, turn around and get a dress and some other stuff from inside my closet, I will head onto the balcony, whistle for my horse Silvermane. And jump off onto the ground. You just have to tell my father that when you turned around again, I was gone. Ok?” Antira finished.

Antira: It’ll be just like that scene in Robin Hood: Men In Tights. Not that I’m stealing it from there or anything.

++But as she finished a tear ran down Aimuna’s cheek and she nodded. Antira walked over and gave her a hug. “Goodbye Aimuna! I will be back before you know it! Don’t worry.” Antira said with tears in her eyes just like the first time she ran. “ Goodbye Antira. I wish you well.” Aimuna said with tears uncontrollably down her face now. Then Antira gave her the thumbs up and she turned.

Legolas: A thumbs up?
Frodo: That’s almost as gay as snapping during a rock song!

++After a loud whistle, Silvermane came running. Jumping down and onto her back she headed off. She knew that the Fellowship stopped at nightfall, so if she rode fast enough, she might catch them. She rode 7 miles before she saw the light of the fire. As she crept through the bushes, she saw that everyone was sleeping other than Legolas. As she crept up behind him, she took out one of her arrows that she retrieved from the gates the day before. When she was right behind him she ran the arrow along his jaw bone and said “Well, well, well. What it this? An elf crying? I thought the silvan folk came without that fault!?”

Frodo: Another Arwen moment, brought to you by the most unoriginal author of the century.
Antira: And that Silvan folk line is straight from Amber’s story, too.

++As she finished Legolas turned around and immediately stopped crying. “Legolas! I’ve missed you so much!” Antira said hugging and kissing him. As the words came out of her mouth, she spoke so loudly that she woke the whole camp! “Well, now that the Fellowship is reunited, we better get going before my father sends bounty hunters on me!” Antira said and in 10 minutes, they had packed up, got their horses and were on their way!

Legolas: We’re going back? What the hell for?
Frodo: Don’t ask. Just don’t even ask.

++On their way out, Aragorn mounted his horse and said “So Antira. . . now that we all know your little secret,” now the whole Fellowship was listening, “should we call you Princess....or maybe your highness, or maybe even-” he tried to finished but Antira cut him off, “If anyone of you call me anyone of those names...you will all be beat to death with the handles on my daggers!” she said

Frodo: Oh, that’s intimidating.

++“But my lady....wouldn’t you rather use the dagger blade?” Pippin asked. “Pippin, if you call me one of those names, I’ll dig all your eternal organs out will a spoon! That will hurt even more! My special treatment just for you.”

Antira: I’ve never heard this before. Certainly not in Robin Hoorincrince of Thieves.
Legolas: Can’t this girl say anything original?
Frodo: You’ve seen her attempts. I’m happier with the movie quotes.
Antira: And did she say eternal organs?
Frodo: Oh my God, she did. That’s the worst one yet.
Legolas: (giggling) Hey, since I’m immortal, do I have eternal organs?
Antira: (giving Legolas a meaningful glance) Long lasting organs? Now that is an interesting thought.
Legolas: (blush)
Frodo: (muttering) Damn immortals, think they’re better than everyone.

++To this comment Antira made, everybody laughed. And this was the 1st time that Antira had laughed in days.

Antira: Oh, I wouldn’t say that. This story has brought me much entertainment. And also a strong desire to vomit.
Legolas: Not on my boots!

++“Aimuna! I know that Antira made up that story! And you let her get away! Did you know that I could have bounty hunters scattered around Middle-earth within 2 days?” Lord Denethor screamed as they sat at the dinning room table.

Frodo: He’s really into this whole fighting at the dinner table thing, isn’t he?

++“ Yes sir. I am fully aware of that. But I assure you that the story that I tell is true!” Aimuna exclaimed trying to make him believe her. And the story was true! But the only thing that she did not tell him was that it was planned!

Antira: (grinning) That sneaky bitch!

++“ Alright Aimuna! That’s it!” Lord Denethor said. Aimuna backed away. “Antira will be captured and you will be dead when she get’s here!” Lord Denethor finished. Aimuna screamed. Antira heard it and 10 minutes later, she and Legolas turned their horses around and were heading to Minus-Tirith!

Legolas: We heard her scream? Aren’t we, like, ten miles away?
Antira: And what is Minus-Tirith? The land of subtraction?
Frodo: (falls out of chair laughing)

++Before they left, they told Gandalf that they would meet them at the forest that was 30 miles ahead. They almost rode their horses to death when they arrived. Aimuna was almost dead from Lord Denethor beating her so badly when the 3 story high doors flung open and the 2 elves ran in. Legolas caught Aimuna as she fell unconscious. Antira running up to her father pulling out her bow and arrow. As she loaded her arrow on the string and pulled back, she spoke very rudely to her father.

Legolas: Now, Antira, you shouldn’t speak rudely to your father.
Antira: I’m serious about getting you shot. Just wait.

++“ Alright! That’s the last straw! You’ve hurt Aimuna, Legolas, the Fellowship and me! Some people that died deserved life! But you! You are the other way around! You live and deserve death! Father! I am going to grant you that wish! Goodb-”

Antira: And now I’m quoting Gandalf. Good God.

++“ No Antira! I can explain!” Lord Denethor pleaded. But Antira would not have any of that! “ No Father! Goodbye!” Antira finished ready to the the string go. But as she loosened her grip on the string, something or someone jumped on her and the arrow went flying through the window on the ceiling

Legolas: There was a window on the ceiling?
Antira: A very stylish skylight. They're all the rage in Gondor.
Frodo: (snicker)

++shattering the glass that landed on top of them. She could not see who it was at first, but as she lay pinned to the floor, he took her bow and arrows and shot them across the room!

Antira: That is so rude. A girl can’t even shoot her father in peace.

++She finally looked up at the man that lay on top of her and realized it was her brother Faramir. At first she looked at him in shock thinking that it was Boromir but when her focus came she realized it was Faramir!

Frodo: And she couldn’t stop being redundant, due to her shock!
Antira: (snicker)

++He looked down at her with shock in his eyes and said, “How could you?! Your own Father!” He finished getting off of her. She got up without a word. Legolas just starred at her.

Legolas: Now I’M starring.
Frodo: He finished getting off you? What exactly is going on in this scene?
Antira: I am traumatized.

++“ Now I understand.” Lord Denethor said. “ That you deserve to die!” he finished as Antira turned around with fear in her eyes as she watched him let the string go. The arrow hit her in the stomach.

Antira: Ow! My eternal organs!
Frodo: Do you have eternal organs?
Legolas: Yeah, I stian’tan’t figure out if you’re an elf or not.

++He pulled another arrow to the string and Antira held her consciousness as she watched the arrow hit Legolas in the right hand shoulder. Just then she lost her consciousness.

Antira: I told you, Leggy.
Legolas: Bite me. You got one in the stomach.
Frodo: At least you didn’t get hit in the LEFT shoulder.

++When she opened her eyes 2 days later, she still had the arrow in her stomach and she was surprised that she had lived when she realized that Legolas and Aimuna were still on the floor across the room!

Antira: No one took the arrow out? How rude!
Legolas: They just left us in the floor for two days? What the hell kind of castle is this?

++But just as she came into focus, she heard the sound of footsteps coming her way. She closed her eyes because she had a splitting headache but when she opened them again, she waw someone over top of her.

Antira: A splitting headache? I have a fucking arrow in my stomach!

++“Are you alright? Your lucky to be alive!” he said. Then she realized that it was Faramir.

Frodo: You’re lucky to be alive. Especially considering the fact that we’ve done jack shit to help you.

++ Far Faramir. I am alright! But now we must tend to the wounded.” Antira said as she tried to get up. But as she tried, the pain in her stomach got worse and as the pain in her stomach got worse her head ached more than it ever did in her whole life! “Antira. . .you are a wounded!

Antira: You think?

++I will take you up to your bedroom so you can rest.” Faramir finished. Antira did not hesitate to tell him what she wanted.

Legolas: Uhhhh…

++“NO!

Legolas: Oh. Whew.

++I will not go up to my room! I will try and help even if I die of pain trying to get to the spot where they lay! I love these people and I will not watch them die at my hands!” So as she got up, she stumbled a bit but as Faramir tried to help her, she pushed him away saying “ I can do this on my own. I am a grown elf and I am not going to give up on my friends. Even if that means I must give my life for theirs.”

Frodo: A grown elf. With an arrow in her stomach. And human parents.
Antira: (rolls her eyes)
Frodo: Sorry, just a quick recap.

++When she got over to them, she was just about to fall over when Legolas awoke. She told him to hold his breath and he obeyed. He was not going to fight against someone who knew more about healing than he does! As he held his breath, she quickly pulled the arrow out of his shoulder and healed him. But when she looked over at Aimuna, she looked as pale and as cold as a mortal could get.

Antira: I still have an arrow in my stomach, right?
Legolas: I think so. I don’t really know.

++Faramir took her pulse and concluded that she was still alive but if they wanted to save her they must hurry! She was almost dead! They tried everything that they could do but it did not help. “ She might not live Antira. You understand that don’t you? At least you tried. She cant blame you for that.”

Frodo: Unless she’s a real bitch.

++With sympathy in his eyes, Legolas finished his sentence and just sat there quietly waiting to see what she was going to say. She did not answer for a few minutes when she finally said “ Yes Legolas. I know the consequences of the beating. I know she may die. But for right now...lets just bring her up to my room to rest until we find out what her future may hold ( life or death ).”

Antira: Hey, I just spoke in parentheses!
Legolas: Is that even possible?

++As they picked her off the ground, Antira felt tears slide down her face.

Frodo: Most likely due to the excruciating pain of lifting someone while you have an ARROW IN YOUR STOMACH.

++“Antira please do not cry. We will do everything in our power to prevent her fate. You know that don’t you? Well we must hurry! If these beatings are to sever,

Legolas: If these beatings are to sever? What?
Antira: I am so lost.

++we might not be able to help her.” Faramir finished hurrying her up the stairs to Antira’s room with the other 2 following him as fast as they could get their feet to move. When they got to Antira’s room, they laid her down on the bed under the covers. They sat down were ever there was a place to sit. 1 hour passed. Then 2 hours. then more and more. Finally after 7 hours of sitting and trying to help Aimuna, she regained consciousness. She sat up but the bruises were too bad. She fell off the bed when she tried to get up. Legolas rushed over and helped her sit up. Faramir right behind him asking if she needed anything. Faramir kept her company while Legolas ran out of the room yelling for Antira.

Legolas: Who had mysteriously disappeared.
Frodo: Yeah, when the hell did you leave?
Antira: Beats me.

++He rushed down to the kitchen to see if she was there.

Antira: Boy, does he know me.

++As he flung the door open, she fell to the ground spilling the tray of food that she had prepared for Aimuna. Legolent ent down and helped her clean up. Luckily the food was not damaged and they brought the tray upstairs.

Frodo: You’re taking her food that fell on the ground? Some friend you are.

++When they got to her bedroom, Antira put the tray beside Aimuna on the night table when Aimuna weekly opened her eyes and began to talk very slowly.

Antira: Opened her eyes weekly?
Legolas: That’s like what happens when you get really drunk and pass out for a month. You only open your eyes weekly.
Frodo: That was pretty lame, Leggy.
Legolas: (scowl)

++Aimuna said “Antira, I love you and I know that you are my best friend in the whole world. But, sometimes, you just have to let go and I think that this is my time to let go.”
Antira had tears running down her face. She knew what she was saying. She was saying that she was going to die. “Aimuna! You cant! You wouldn’t! I wont let it happen! I cant let you go! Its not right! Don’t leave me!” Antira said sobbing. Legolas and Faramir just watched by the doorway and were filling like they were just about to cry.

Legolas: I hate it when I fill like I’m going to cry.
Antira: Fill with what?

++“Antira-” Aimuna trailed off as her voice faded and started to cry. “Aimuna, do not cry. I will be back before you know it.” Antira said with a small laugh as Aimuna smiled a weak smile as they relived one of their most greatest obstacles. Saying goodbye.

Frodo: Awww. Your most greatest obstacle. You don’t find many of those.

++“Aimuna, you have served our family well.” Antira said “I bid you goodbye Antira. You are a great friend. Goodbye.” Aimuna said as her eyes finally closed forever. Antira now crying into Legolas’ shoulder, thought of all the happy times that she and had had with Aimuna. And as they bided farewell to Faramir that day to rejoin the Fellowship, she felt stronger. But not stronger in the body.....but stronger in the heart for now she knew that Aimuna would never be hurt again.

Legolas: Well, that was profound…NOT!
Antira: (Takes her dagger and tries to stab herself in the eye)
Frodo: (grabbing her hand) Oh, lordy. Legolas, help me out here.
Antira: Please! I can’t take any more!
Legolas: Suicide is not the answer! We’ll make it through somehow.
Antira: (sobs brokenly)

++When Antira and Legolas rejoined the Fellowship, they both told the story of what had happened (and why they were gone for 3 days).

Antira: I think I still have an arrow in my stomach.

++Everyone felt sorry for what had happened because they all befriended Aimuna before they left.

Antira: Hello! Arrow? Stomach? Can I get a little sympathy here?

++That day, they all just rested for they knew that the next day would be hard going through the orc inhabited forest. They also knew that if they got lost, and the Orcs found them, they would be killed. But since they had 2 elves with them (Legolas and Antira), they knew that they would all get though safely.

Legolas: Because elves melt orcs with their laser vision.
Antira: You didn’t know?
Frodo: (snicker)

++That night, they all went to bed early, but Legolas never even thought of sleep.

Frodo: Strangely enough.

++Antira was standing on a boulder looking over a rock wall made by the elves before their forest was taken over by the Orcs.

Antira: Wait, elves live in a forest near Gondor?
Legolas: I don’t think so.
Frodo: Sooooo confused.

++She was trying to imagine what Aimuna would be doing now if she was still alive.

Antira: Probably helping me dress…God, I miss her.

++Antira thought for a moment in disgust of her father and thought as starrtarred at the star covered sky <>

Legolas: There you go with that strange, profound thinking thing again.
Antira: I’m so deep I don’t even understand myself.

++But her thoughts trailed off as she sensed Legolas standing behind her on the boulder.

Antira: Yeah, I can see how that would be distracting.
Legolas: (goofy grin)
Frodo: (pout)

++“Antira, you have something on you mind. I can see y thy the way you were moving tonight. What are you pondering about?” Legolas asked.

Antira: Well, you’re still the most inarticulate person I know, but I’m a little intrigued by the fact that you were watching the way I move.
Legolas: See? I am endearing.
Antira: Or just horny.
Legolas: There’s always that.

++Antira turned around and looked at the camp. Everyone was asleep but Aragorn who was on Watch out for Orc patrol!

Antira: Oooh, the highly respected Watch out for Orc patrol!
Frodo: Why the exclamation point? Are we excited about this?

++As she watched him, he turned the corner of the wall to check to see if his eyes deceived him or it was really an orc watching them. Antira looked at Legolas and again and said nothing. She turned around and looked at the blue night sky again. Legolas now standing beside her said “You are thinking about Aimuna aren’t you.” she said nothing. “Antira.....look at me. I know that you are sad but it will heal and then well, I don’t know what will happen after that but I know it will heal.” Legolas said trying to make a point.

Antira: And failing miserably.
Legolas: Bite me.
Antira: I don’t think you’d like that.
Legolas: (blush)

++But for Antira, that point was hurting her more and more each moment. Legolas now looking very sad for he knew that he had hurt her, he said “Antira, I know your grief. I know what you are feeling. I have also lost many friends over my life time and I have to accept that. Now it’s your turn. You must accept this change. Yes, your heart will still ache but you must understand that she too wanted to let go. And if you are a friend, you will and have to accept her decision. Am I not right?” he finished.

Frodo: What? Her decision to get beat up by the king? What the hell are you talking about, elf boy?
Legolas: I DON’T know.

++Antira nodded. She tried to keep it all in but it had to come out. “Why did this happen the way that it did. I should of been able to save her! It’s not fair!” Antira said with tears dropping on the wall as she leaned on it. Legolas looked down at his hands on the rock thinking <>

Antira: HAHA! You did the weird thinking thing!
Frodo: I wonder if the author knows that “should of” is not a phrase in the English language.
Legolas: Really?
Frodo: Yeah, it’s “should have.”
Legolas: Wow. She’s been doing that a lot, too.
Antira: How embarrassing.

++Finally, she got down off the boulder without a word and headed back for camp.

Antira: I’d like to say that this is very out of character. I’m alone in the dark with a guy and I’m emotionally distraught? If my past history is anything to go by, I think I should be stripping off your clothes at some point.
Legolas: I always liked history.
Frodo: Hey, Antira, maybe later we can get together and talk about your troubled childhood.
Antira: (blush)
Legolas: (glower)

++All four of the hobbits were sleeping soundly. Frodo in the middle, Sam on the right hand side of Frodo trying to keep him warm,

Frodo: What the hell? I don’t remember that.
Antira: (inches slowly away from Frodo)
Frodo: It’s not like that!
Legolas: Whatever, Frodo Faggins.

++Merry and Pippin also trying to keep warm by Gandalf who was on the left hand side of Frodo.

Antira: Now that is not a pretty picture.
Legolas: I’ve never thought of Gandalf as the cuddly type.

++As she looked back at Frodo, a piece of his sword was sticking out.

Frodo: Pardon?
Antira: Hmmmm…
Legolas: Hide your eyes!

++It was blue!

Frodo: (blush)
Antira: Awww. Are you cold? I could warm you up…
Legolas: (moving in between them) That’s enough! Frodo, keep your sword sheathed or I’ll do a little honing with the edge of my knife!
Frodo: Yikes! (cower)

++At that point she turned tot he forest.

Antira: I turned into a forest? Oh wait, I get it.

++She could hear them coming! She could see faint shadows coming her way towards that camp! “Aragorn! Legolas! They’re coming! Everybody up! Hurry!” She screamed. Legolas came running off the boulder with a look that she had never seen before. It was a look of war.