schedule
May 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
you are so very welcome hun. i just love fan fics but i don't have the guts to write on myself. the rewrite is very good. i am gld i could help and i am glad that you did not take it as a flame. if you want any more help just e-mail me. i am happy that you have updated. this is a good story and you should stick to it.
Foofie
Foofie
schedule
March 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey, very good start! Your English is superb for it not being your native language. I'm impressed and ecstatic! You're doing a great job. Keep up the incredible work and I hope you update soon!
Love Luinil
ficchantress1218@gmail.com
If you wanna im me, my sns are in my profile.
Love Luinil
ficchantress1218@gmail.com
If you wanna im me, my sns are in my profile.
schedule
March 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I am really enjoying you story. I hope you update soon. I have to ask who are you going to pair her up with (if it is a secret that’s ok, I will have to just keep reading?
Foofie
Foofie
schedule
February 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
not a bad start. i have taken it upon myself to rewrite one paragraph for you (i hope you do not mind, i only did it to show you a betta might help with your english)
your paragraph
Some miles ahead, at the edge of the forest, was a cosy looking cabin. The exterior was made entirely of the darkest wood. On each side was a window. There frames were made of the same wood. Most of the interior was also made of wood. There was a cosy looking couch and two rocking chairs. There was a stairs and a fireplace. Before the fireplace lay a rug, made of fake fur. Inside the cabin was an older female and an older male. Both looked to be in their 50’s. The female wore a long farmer style dress. She still had her kitchen short on. She was sitting in a rocking chair, knitting something together. The male sat opposite of her, also in a rocking chair. He wore loose fitting jeans with a black, long sleeved shirt. He was carving something out of wood.
my edit
At the edge of the forest was a cabin made of the darkest wood. On three sides of the cabin was a window; on the other side was a door. The interior of the cabin was the same dark wood. The cabin had been divided into three rooms, a bedroom, kitchen and sitting room. In the sitting room there was a fire place. In front of the fire place was a fake fur rug. Two rocking chairs sat at the edge of the rug. In the middle of the chairs was a home made table. In one of the chairs sat a female in her 50s, knitting. She wore a long farmer style dress, she still had on the apron that she had put on when she had cooked supper. In the other chair sat a male, also in his 50s. He wore loose fitting jeans with a black, long sleeved shirt. He was carving something out of wood.
tell me what you think. if you want to contact me you are quite welcome. Please do not take this as a flame, it is not ment to be, i onlu wish to help.
your paragraph
Some miles ahead, at the edge of the forest, was a cosy looking cabin. The exterior was made entirely of the darkest wood. On each side was a window. There frames were made of the same wood. Most of the interior was also made of wood. There was a cosy looking couch and two rocking chairs. There was a stairs and a fireplace. Before the fireplace lay a rug, made of fake fur. Inside the cabin was an older female and an older male. Both looked to be in their 50’s. The female wore a long farmer style dress. She still had her kitchen short on. She was sitting in a rocking chair, knitting something together. The male sat opposite of her, also in a rocking chair. He wore loose fitting jeans with a black, long sleeved shirt. He was carving something out of wood.
my edit
At the edge of the forest was a cabin made of the darkest wood. On three sides of the cabin was a window; on the other side was a door. The interior of the cabin was the same dark wood. The cabin had been divided into three rooms, a bedroom, kitchen and sitting room. In the sitting room there was a fire place. In front of the fire place was a fake fur rug. Two rocking chairs sat at the edge of the rug. In the middle of the chairs was a home made table. In one of the chairs sat a female in her 50s, knitting. She wore a long farmer style dress, she still had on the apron that she had put on when she had cooked supper. In the other chair sat a male, also in his 50s. He wore loose fitting jeans with a black, long sleeved shirt. He was carving something out of wood.
tell me what you think. if you want to contact me you are quite welcome. Please do not take this as a flame, it is not ment to be, i onlu wish to help.