rate_review Reviews

WOW!

You're off to a fast start with this story and I'm enjoying it. You picked an unusual pairing and the gives it additional interest. While I'm enjoying your story, I feel I need to offer a couple of well-intended comments. This is not a flame I promise, just a little advice from another writer. When you use canon references in your work, you need to get them right. If you're not sure, ask for help or leave it out. Eregion wasn't a pass or a part of the mountains; it was a kingdom of the 2nd Age. It was destroyed before Imladris/Rivendell was founded. Elrond led the survivors from there after Sauron destroyed it and then founded Rivendell. Secondly, it was on the other side of the Misty Mountains not between Lorien and Rivendell, so your description was sort of like saying you drove from St. Louis to San Francisco on the way to Denver. The Encyclopedia of Arda is a great resource if you don't have a map handy! My second comment is basic facts still need to make sense even in a work of fantasy. Your travel times are way off and detract from the story. There are websites out there to help you get the facts you need to make your story work better and be more believable. My best advice is if you don't know something, do a little research or work around it. If you don't have a beta, can I suggest you consider using one? There is a group associated to this site for betas. I found a great one there and she helps me a lot with my stories.

Please please don't take my comments as a flame. If I didn't like the story, I would simply stop reading rather than say anything. I really am looking forward to an update!! You have real talent and the start of a fun story... its just the details need a little polish! More please!

So Rumil felt that huh?Sneaky!

I can't believe that Rumil left looking like he is.I hope that he doesn't get disappointed(or hurt for that matter)while onhis way to Rivendell.

Oh, the impulsiveness of youth! I hope Elrond knows what he's set loss on Middle-earth!

Oh, I really have enjoyed this beginning! I love the characterization
of Rumi. And I liked the interactions between the brothers. Also,
Elrond kissing Rumi's hand was not only romantic and charming but
very sexy. I do hope you complete this story; so many writers don't
and has caused me to stop reviewing. Yours is the first story I've
given a review for in months. - Just shows how much I enjoyed the
first of many chapters (?)

Wow.Want more please.

A promising start! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.