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October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Okay - I see your point. As two of my favorites, I know I am very defensive of Elrohir and Elladan being portrayed in a way that I think is wrong. As you can imagine, slash with them and twincest drives me absolutely insane. You have a right to write them differently and I realize that, its just a frustration for me to see them in what I think of as a poor light. But once again, its just a sensitivity I have and it falls under "you can't please everyone".
As I said, everyone's OC is slightly Sue'ish. I just feel you need to tone yours down a bit. Most of the stories I enjoy have a slightly Sue'ish OC, its nearly impossible to write one that isn't. Even Tolkien wrote a major Sue in Luthien. But he's allowed!
I didn't log in to review because I have had writers respond with vindictive actions before on this site as well as other sites where I post for an honest concrit no matter how nicely I put it. I don't want someone to sic GAFF or Deletius on me because I didn't agree with their version of Glorfindel. I know this is chicken shit to some degree but I got tired of my ratings going down cause someone threw a temper tantrum over what I did trying to help them.
As I said, everyone's OC is slightly Sue'ish. I just feel you need to tone yours down a bit. Most of the stories I enjoy have a slightly Sue'ish OC, its nearly impossible to write one that isn't. Even Tolkien wrote a major Sue in Luthien. But he's allowed!
I didn't log in to review because I have had writers respond with vindictive actions before on this site as well as other sites where I post for an honest concrit no matter how nicely I put it. I don't want someone to sic GAFF or Deletius on me because I didn't agree with their version of Glorfindel. I know this is chicken shit to some degree but I got tired of my ratings going down cause someone threw a temper tantrum over what I did trying to help them.
schedule
October 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hi Elf Kat,
I'm sorry to have to post like this, but you weren't logged in and I can't locate you in order to respond to your words. I know that if you're not reading too closely, it sounds like she's being pursued by every Tom, Dick and Harry, but allow me to clarify these issues.
She thought she was in a hallucination when she shagged the twins. As soon as she found out Arda was real, she already really liked Glorfindel as a person, and refused the attentions of the twins. I modelled the twins off of the new Young Hollywood, as those who are good looking and popular, as the twins would be in Imladris, tend to take advantage of the situation and meet their libido's desires. Case in point, Charlie Sheen, Michael Rosenbaum(he's a playa in Vancouver), Johnny Depp before he settled down with Paradis, I could go on, but why bother? I felt that since Tolkien had written that elves enjoyed sex, why not compare it to something people can understand. Also, Boromir was bigoted against having a mortal women living in Imladris. He felt it was inappropriate for mortals to live with elves and vice versa. That is why he wanted the OFC to move to Minas Tirith. No other reason. Thranduil is not evil, he just doesn't feel mortals are equal to elves, and after the dwarvish debacle, who can blame him? Plus, I see him as being a bit proprietary. The OFC had knowledge he wanted, and so he tried to take it. Considering mortal women were not equal to mortal men in that society, and Thranduil didn't think mortal men were all that worthy of the elves, he felt he could take legal custody of chattel(the OFC) and be within rights. He was just misguided, as the OFC states. And if anyone should think that Haldir was interested, I pointed out that he was only curious as to why an elf would bond to a mortal, and Glorfindel/the OFC pointed out the fea bond. The OFC didn't have sex with Glorfindel the entire time of their courtship and only started when they had bonded.
The OFC is not supernaturally gifted. Being an empath and sensing things is quite common amongst the regular population. Most people just don't mention it, or they don't realize they're picking up on more than surface stuff when they 'know things'. I call it being of the 'wiggy', for good reason. As most people wig out when they figure out you've got the goods on them.
I made the OFC 36 as I wanted to see a story about someone who had seen life, been to hell and back and gotten frequent flier miles, and had made some discoveries about themselves. I've found that people in their mid-thirties don't sweat a lot of stuff, but they can still screw up. It's all a part of living and learning. My mid-thirties were rough, but so were my twenties and my teens. I know I'm a lot calmer than people a decade or two younger than me, and I wanted to see people who didn't freak out over everything to be represented.
I realize my OFC may be a bit Sueish, but then I felt if I wrote a character who wasn't of a similar mindset to me, I would've written her a wee bit flat. I notice the world around me, and I want to help make it better. Of course this means I work for a non-profit charity, but not everyone's gonna be into that. I have studied Eastern Religions extensively in college, and I wanted to bring those ideas forward and maybe introduce them to an audience who may not be familiar with them. I have drawn parallels between the modern world and Arda in my story because I want to not just tell a romance, but show people their world through different eyes.
Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. It was rational and thought out, which I must say is why the previous review was deleted. When I have taken writing classes, all the rules for constructive critisism were the same. Say what you liked, why and give examples, and then say what you didn't like, why and give examples. I find that specifics, where the critic has been thoughtful in their analysis and given careful and realistic reactions to the work, is the most helpful. It can guide a writer and while a writer should never write the story simply due to a review reaction, they should use the critique in good faith to help them with any story issues that can crop up.
Sincerely,
Jesuiscanadien
I'm sorry to have to post like this, but you weren't logged in and I can't locate you in order to respond to your words. I know that if you're not reading too closely, it sounds like she's being pursued by every Tom, Dick and Harry, but allow me to clarify these issues.
She thought she was in a hallucination when she shagged the twins. As soon as she found out Arda was real, she already really liked Glorfindel as a person, and refused the attentions of the twins. I modelled the twins off of the new Young Hollywood, as those who are good looking and popular, as the twins would be in Imladris, tend to take advantage of the situation and meet their libido's desires. Case in point, Charlie Sheen, Michael Rosenbaum(he's a playa in Vancouver), Johnny Depp before he settled down with Paradis, I could go on, but why bother? I felt that since Tolkien had written that elves enjoyed sex, why not compare it to something people can understand. Also, Boromir was bigoted against having a mortal women living in Imladris. He felt it was inappropriate for mortals to live with elves and vice versa. That is why he wanted the OFC to move to Minas Tirith. No other reason. Thranduil is not evil, he just doesn't feel mortals are equal to elves, and after the dwarvish debacle, who can blame him? Plus, I see him as being a bit proprietary. The OFC had knowledge he wanted, and so he tried to take it. Considering mortal women were not equal to mortal men in that society, and Thranduil didn't think mortal men were all that worthy of the elves, he felt he could take legal custody of chattel(the OFC) and be within rights. He was just misguided, as the OFC states. And if anyone should think that Haldir was interested, I pointed out that he was only curious as to why an elf would bond to a mortal, and Glorfindel/the OFC pointed out the fea bond. The OFC didn't have sex with Glorfindel the entire time of their courtship and only started when they had bonded.
The OFC is not supernaturally gifted. Being an empath and sensing things is quite common amongst the regular population. Most people just don't mention it, or they don't realize they're picking up on more than surface stuff when they 'know things'. I call it being of the 'wiggy', for good reason. As most people wig out when they figure out you've got the goods on them.
I made the OFC 36 as I wanted to see a story about someone who had seen life, been to hell and back and gotten frequent flier miles, and had made some discoveries about themselves. I've found that people in their mid-thirties don't sweat a lot of stuff, but they can still screw up. It's all a part of living and learning. My mid-thirties were rough, but so were my twenties and my teens. I know I'm a lot calmer than people a decade or two younger than me, and I wanted to see people who didn't freak out over everything to be represented.
I realize my OFC may be a bit Sueish, but then I felt if I wrote a character who wasn't of a similar mindset to me, I would've written her a wee bit flat. I notice the world around me, and I want to help make it better. Of course this means I work for a non-profit charity, but not everyone's gonna be into that. I have studied Eastern Religions extensively in college, and I wanted to bring those ideas forward and maybe introduce them to an audience who may not be familiar with them. I have drawn parallels between the modern world and Arda in my story because I want to not just tell a romance, but show people their world through different eyes.
Thank you for your input. I appreciate it. It was rational and thought out, which I must say is why the previous review was deleted. When I have taken writing classes, all the rules for constructive critisism were the same. Say what you liked, why and give examples, and then say what you didn't like, why and give examples. I find that specifics, where the critic has been thoughtful in their analysis and given careful and realistic reactions to the work, is the most helpful. It can guide a writer and while a writer should never write the story simply due to a review reaction, they should use the critique in good faith to help them with any story issues that can crop up.
Sincerely,
Jesuiscanadien
schedule
October 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I don't know what the previous reviewer said but I assume it was bad due to the GAFF and Deletius references. I would never say that someone deserved to be shredded by either of those two groups. They do nothing for fan fiction but drag it through the gutter.
I will say I did have problems with this story being a little over the top. Your OC was just too desired by every male she came in contact with. That is such an annoying quality to a story to me. It ruins the best writing. And the thing about the twins just drove me insane. I hate it when people make them out to be scum buckets. They were a couple of thousand year old elves that were serious and noble warriors and you have written them like 20 yr old sluts. Of course abusive Thranduil is what caused me to stop reading. Read the books again and see how beautiful the elves are. They can be sensual without being slutty or agressive without being abusive. If you can, read the Silmarillion. Anyone writing Glorfindel should read it as well as Unfinished Tales.
Everyone's first story is rough so don't get discouraged. Eventually you will catch yourself doing the annoying things in time to stop them. My first story was a huge Mary Sue and every story since then has gone away from Sue. I don't think its possible to write a complete non-Sue but its possible to write one thats mostly not a Sue.
I will say I did have problems with this story being a little over the top. Your OC was just too desired by every male she came in contact with. That is such an annoying quality to a story to me. It ruins the best writing. And the thing about the twins just drove me insane. I hate it when people make them out to be scum buckets. They were a couple of thousand year old elves that were serious and noble warriors and you have written them like 20 yr old sluts. Of course abusive Thranduil is what caused me to stop reading. Read the books again and see how beautiful the elves are. They can be sensual without being slutty or agressive without being abusive. If you can, read the Silmarillion. Anyone writing Glorfindel should read it as well as Unfinished Tales.
Everyone's first story is rough so don't get discouraged. Eventually you will catch yourself doing the annoying things in time to stop them. My first story was a huge Mary Sue and every story since then has gone away from Sue. I don't think its possible to write a complete non-Sue but its possible to write one thats mostly not a Sue.
schedule
October 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*throws two cents in*
I haven't read all of the story yet, but what I have read has been good. : ) I usually read reviews before I read a story, just to get a feeling for the story, and to see what other readers have thought of the story. I have to say that as soon as the first reviewer mentioned GAFF and Deletrius, I pretty much took the review with a grain of salt - why bother reading the rest, when I knew where it was heading, and I knew what kind of review it would be. No offense, reviewer. You are, of course, entited to your opinion - but I, personally, don't believe in flaming. Constructive criticism is one thing...telling someone that their story is worthy of flaming, is another.
So, I'm off to read the rest. So far I have enjoyed your story very much, and I can't wait to read the rest. I love well written smut and this looks very promising. So, I say, bring on the smut! This IS AFF, after all. : )
J.H.
I haven't read all of the story yet, but what I have read has been good. : ) I usually read reviews before I read a story, just to get a feeling for the story, and to see what other readers have thought of the story. I have to say that as soon as the first reviewer mentioned GAFF and Deletrius, I pretty much took the review with a grain of salt - why bother reading the rest, when I knew where it was heading, and I knew what kind of review it would be. No offense, reviewer. You are, of course, entited to your opinion - but I, personally, don't believe in flaming. Constructive criticism is one thing...telling someone that their story is worthy of flaming, is another.
So, I'm off to read the rest. So far I have enjoyed your story very much, and I can't wait to read the rest. I love well written smut and this looks very promising. So, I say, bring on the smut! This IS AFF, after all. : )
J.H.