rate_review Reviews

Oh! A note for me that was so kind! Thank you again!

Well, I hadn't realized I was coming to the end of the story. I'll miss it, now that I have finished. I particularly would like to say thank you for not making Erestor have some big, emotional reunion at his father's death, which wouldn't have been believable. I fouind your version of his ending very real, and nicely done.

I'm so glad if I helped you with your business English class. I appreciate authors who write for so little reward in these fan fiction sites, and even more I appreciate the ones who finish their stories, and then the ones who give me pleasure with their writing! Well! What can I say except thank you, and I look forward to keeping up with your work.

Two chapters I haven't read! I'm happy. It's good to see Erestor and Lindir having a quiet and happy time together (not to mention passionate). I have to thank you for being so receptive to my copyediting comments. Not many feel the way you do, and you make me feel appreciated. I need that -- I've had a bad couple of days, including relatively minor irritations like having to push through a day when I was utterly exhausted and locking the keys out of my car in my stupor. (Politically speaking, everything I cared about most went down here, so I was blue to boot.)

So I especially liked coming home and having your new chapters to read. Thank you.

Well, that was refreshing! I have rarely, but very rarely, been thanked when I edit professionally, though I always get the nod in the acknowledgements. Once an author called me to thank me and I babbled like a fool, I was so shocked. So I thank you very much for your kind words.

And I'm so glad you're pushing through. Reading your comments to Thalionwen, I thought, "Oh no! Almost didn't finish?!" Your characters are too real to leave in "nowhere land," so please take whatever time you need and don't leave them in purgatory. I enjoyed your love scene, and even more your sincere and heartfelt words of love so poetically expressed, and therefore so appropriately put into Lindir's voice. I'd love to see you have him put those words into a song for Erestor and maybe sing it for everyone at Rivendell. Maybe it would be a nice touch for those who are in the know to realize the song is a very personal one.

Oh, and thanks also for not making fun of my errors. "Dotto" was a pretty funny one, was it not? Even editors need an editor. I just read so late at night, I tend to whip through the reviews. I almost never look back. Strange.

I just came back to see if you'd posted anything new to this story, and found myself rereading the last chapter. It is so good. I do hope you haven't abandoned them here!

Did I copyedit before? I hope you find it acceptable in a review if I mention that "...he beat my mother and I ..." should be "...he beat my mother and me...." Do you see? If it's "he beat me" and not "he beat I," then the and doesn't change the grammar.

Also a typo you might want to correct: "That thought send a bolt of uncertainty . . ." should be "that thought sent a bolt . . . ."

Thanks for writing. I'll keep checking back.

Another wonderful chapter!. I showed your story to a close friend who just ' Came Out', and though he never abused anyone, he said that you hit on the underlaying emotions, unerringly. That is the thing about your stories, you go deep inside the psyche of your characters and in doing so, make the tale all the more riveting!. Looking forward to your next update.. :)

I just stumbled on your story yesterday. What a pleasure it is. I love that you take the time to develop the characters, and I find them most believable. Would you mind me calling a symtas error to your attention? It's become very common, and I hear it on the television quite a bit in recent years. You use thi construction now and then: ".. to take my mother and I away." The correct syntax is "to take my mother and me away." An easy way to check this is to say to yourself, "to take me away," so you can hear that it's not "to take I away." Just because you add someone doesn't mean you change the case. (You are using the subjective case when you need to objective case. "You and I" is correct if they are the subject. "You and I are going away." When the pronouns are the object -- whether the direct or indirect object -- you need the objective case: "He is going to take you and me away." Check it: "He is going to take me away."

Anyway, love the story.

I hope you don't mind that I include "edits" among my appreciative comments. Iam still very much enjoying your story. I just wanted to mention a couple of things you might want to correct. The Adonis comment seems out of place. Even as Peter Jackson thought of it (and Tolkien too), the period of the elves would have predated Greek mythology, so it struck a jarring note with me. In the line: "Lindir had already intonated how he had made..." I think you mean "Lindir had already intimated how he had made..." And again with "He beat my mother and I almost daily..." You wouldn't say "He beat I almost daily." It's "He beat my mother and me almost daily." Dotto "So my father brutalized my mother and I ..."

I hope I am in no way hurting your feelings. I know when I make a mistake, I'd rather correct it than leave it. (See my comment earlier, when I misspelled "syntax." I rarely edit my own emails. I so wanted to go back and fix my late-night mistakes!)

Thanks again for writing. I like your light touch, and the emotional insights are all ringing true. How interesting you take the apparently imperturbable, cool Master Erestor and show him crumbling in the face of his father's arrival. And to make his father understandable was a great touch. To let Erestor even be one who cut himself was a very brave move, I thought.

Oh, did you just hit a nerve for me with this chapter!. You see, part of why my RL has been so hectic is because I do a lot of volunteer work, especifically with the LGBT community ( that is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & transgendered ). And much of what we are all fighting against is precisely some of the issues you touched on with this update.. So, bravo! and thank you. Looking forward to your next chapter, sweety :)

*approaches with tray, upon which sits mugs upon mugs of hot chocolate*

*grins*

Thought I'd give you a choco boost! I was so thrilled to see this chapter up! I squealed a little...think people heard me...most embarrasing!

I swear, your writing and style just seems to improve throughout each chapter - just when I think you could not get any better, WHAM! You surprise me with another great installment. Your words truly paint the scene and as always, I love the interaction between the characters, your dialogue is perfect. Love it!

Poor Lindir...but wow! I was not expecting Thranduil to be the one to speak with him and you did the scene brilliantly - one could just sense Lindir's nervousness, not to mention his guilt at having thought himself a coward for leaving Erestor.

As always, you leave me hanging - desperately awaiting more!

I shall keep checking back! Thanks so much for updating and don't worry, I can rein in my impatience...a little *grins*

*shoves a mug of hot chocolate into your hand*

Keep up the great work!!

*Jya*